I'm NOT angry.........just concerned.

Regina, Saskatchewan
July 22, 2009 6:14pm CST
When I got home from the hospital today I found my inbox full of messages and links to discussions about my recent absence. I just posted a discussion about it to thank you all for your concern and to let you all know what happened. HOWEVER: Within minutes of that discussion going up, the contents were posted on Facebook. Family members are on Facebook. Now they know what's been going on with me the last little while. News, I would have preferred to tell them myself, or not tell them at all, should that have been my choice, and frankly it was. I've been an intermittent member of Facebook longer than I have of the lot. I prefer to keep the two separate. I use them for different things. Facebook is much more public than the lot. (Blasphemy I know, but true. lol) There are things I will write here, that I won't even talk about on Facebook. My health issues are one of them..... Lately I've made many new friends on Facebook, that have come from the lot. When I do, I tell each of them, to call me by name on Facebook and NOT my user name here. I want to keep my participation here, separate from whatever nonsense I get up to on Facebook, which I consider a joke frankly and don't take as seriously as I do my acitivity here. Facebook serves a purpose in that it reaches a much wider audience than the lot does in much faster time. Good for Facebook kiddies who are addicted to putting their entire life on the public net. NOT good for me, or I believe many mylotters who prefer to have their lives vicariously lived in more relative privacy here where (trolls aside) we know and trust our friends to keep us safe. So please, people, before you cross over information here to Facebook, check with the people involved, that it is ok with them. Would you want your family finding out things on Facebook that you haven't told them yet?
13 people like this
27 responses
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
23 Jul 09
I barely go to facebook, or is it the other one, I don't know, I barely go there
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Oh, I have friends, but I really miss her.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I can't remember the last time I went to MySpace. I joined it and Facebook when I was new to the net, and don't really go to either one much, until lately when so many lotters found me on Facebook. lol
3 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
Oh, Elic I hope you have another friend you can email? There are so many more things we share in emails.............it's good to have that.
2 people like this
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I hear you! I have all of my children and some grandchildren of Facebook and I wouldn't necessarily want them reading things that I have put on mylot either
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
My family has problems of their own and to me Facebook is where we meet and play together because we can't be together in 'real' life. But there are still some things a Mom/Daughter, likes to keep separate, you know? There's a time and place for everything.........
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
Do you have to be a certain age to understand discretion? LOL I didn't know (or don't remember) that you have a child in the service. I will add them to my prayer list...........
1 person likes this
@fwidman (11514)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Yes, there is a time and place I like Facebook because, like you, me and my family cannot be together. Three of them kids live in the Pacific Northwest and one of them (currently) is in Guam serving his country. Besides, they all hate where I live and couldn't wait to leave this desert
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 09
I am not on Facebook I stay clear lol, to many People there I do not want to see ( one the Ex) My Children are on there and I know they like it, but they also keep in touch there with their Auntie and Cousins all their School Mates that have gone different ways, I agree that this sort of thing should not be posted unless it is by you If someone should ask tell them in private not announce it all over the Site
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Jul 09
Hi Buffalo, I know what you are saying but I am just interested in the Site at all lol, I have so much I am doing here that I enjoy, like make my Graphics Layouts and visit the Sites I am with I really do not want any more and places like Face Book well I just can't get into them
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 09
I just had an ex-girlfriend try to contact me there and I blocked her... She was a nightmare in my life and we are bound to run into people we do not agree with and some that are hostile or have been abusive. Keep your enemy closer until you can cast them far away... Like into a black hole!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I think FB is really a site for the younger generations. I wouldn't be there at all if it wasn't for my kids...........so I hear ya Gabs and don't blame you. Besides there are just too many other sites to spend time on, ... like here! lol
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Hell no I wouldnt! Am there too but mostly with my family in another state and they arent on much so I am not eitehr. wasnt on there anytime really till I found that they were there last June past. I will stick to MYLOT!
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
23 Jul 09
lol good choise
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
Mylot's my place too. I won't even let the hubs come here, which thankfully he understands. I've got him playing on twitter as he only has his phone for fun when he's working. lol
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Jul 09
LOL. I thought so too, though it took the hubs some time to agree! ROFL
• United States
23 Jul 09
I only have one friend from myLot on FB...and like you, I do prefer to keep them separate. I'd be horrified if my family found out something about me that I'd prefer them not to know yet (my mom was fond of sharing stories about me before I was ready to share with the rest of the family). I prefer the anonymity of myLot to Facebook too...I can get a lot of stuff off my chest and out of my craw here that I can't do on FB. What happened to you is a violation of trust. Good luck sweets and I hope you feel better!
• United States
23 Jul 09
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
Doing better, I am, I am. My parents would be horrified if they saw something so personal (and to them scary) on facebook or any other site. Good thing they don't come here! LOL
@Riptide (2758)
• United States
23 Jul 09
I signed up on facebook awhile back, but couldn't really warm up to it so haven't been back lol. I wouldn't like it either, if someone put my personal business on facebook either, but I'm sure it was with good intentions though and yes, I know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions LOL. I'm on myspace sometimes and so is hubby and when he used to work second shift and weekends, that was our way to communicate while I was home and he was working. One time we had a bad argument before he left for work and we continued it on myspace for all the world to see LOL. Not a smart thing to do, but anger makes you do weird things. But then we made up on myspace too LMAO.
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I think many of us have learned how the 'net' can cut and then heal that cut eh? LOL And yes, the person involved in my case, had the best intentions in the world, just chose the wrong site. lol No worries. You can't fault anyone but yourself when people who care about you, are only trying to help, but missing the bigger picture of the ins and outs of your life. My fault really, in this case........
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
• Canada
23 Jul 09
It's funny but... I manage and moderate online communities for a living and I have for ten years now. I don't have a myspace, I don't have a facebook, I don't do twitter... and NOT because I don't know how LOL I'm simply a very private person and I have no interest in putting my personal stuff out there for public consumption in any way that's truly identifiable. My whole family is on facebook and they don't understand why I won't create an account. I hear all the time how it's great for finding old friends and such. The way I see it is - the people I want to stay friends with, I do. I haven't lost contact with any of my friends that mean the world to me. We email. Occasional phone calls or lunches or maybe a BBQ with our families, etc. If I want someone in my life, they are already there LOL I had a very negative experience when Classmates was a fledgling site. A guy that I had had a great deal of trouble with as a teen got on our particular high school's forum and started posting to people that he was looking for me. Well, a friend of my sister's, who is known to be a real gossip and likes to get in the middle of everyone's business, told him how to contact me. I woke up one morning to find an email in my inbox that felt like a knife to my gut. I managed to get away from it (and him) but I was furious that someone would give out my personal contact information without asking me first if it was ok. I would never do that to someone else :( I don't have a single referral here at myLot (yet? lol) and I've had an account for over three years. The reason is that I really enjoy the discussions and I like to post freely about my thoughts, opinions and even personal issues where I'd like a little feedback. If I ask my family and friends to join, then I know my participation here would drastically change because there would be things I wouldn't post about or even ask since I know they would reading them. I simply don't like how that makes me feel. I'm not antisocial - really I'm not! LOL - but I like to decide how, when, where and why information about me is shared. So, to get to the end of a convoluted response, no I would absolutely not want family finding out something about me online that I haven't already told them.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I know exactly what you mean! I'm the same way. I have the people in my life that I want, though of course I'm open to more, but at MY discretion and MY choice. I would rather be in charge of my own interaction and info conveyed no matter what the medium. I don't do the referral thing for the very reasons you described....
@maddysmommy (16230)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Hope you're feeling better sparks. I use FB mostly to play games and catch up with ole school friends and family :) haven't been in mylot because of it.. I wouldn't want my family finding out from others whats going on with me - I would prefer to tell them myself, more privately actually and not announced to everyone.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I never go near the games at FB. They fight with my computer! LOL And yes........it's important that we have the right to announce our own private info......... And I'm doing good mommy. Getting better every day. Thanks for asking.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Jul 09
glad you are back...alive & well. I don't blame you for being a bit ticked. I'm sure whoever did this was doing it to put everyone's worries to rest. Still, it should have been left up to you as to what if anything that you wanted to make public. I don't know about your family but mine would be furious to find out about me on the net rather than from me directly.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
Well my son was some ticked! LOL It's all good now though and I'm sure it won't happen again. I need to be clearer when I talk to people! lol
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (168368)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Yeah, I think there are many things you can post on here that should not be shared on another forum. It hink sharing personal information is probably something that is better not done. I guess there are many sad and personal things that could be discussed online that should not go beyond the confines of the particular fourm you are discussing. I'm really sorry that you had that situation and Ihope it will not be repeated.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Jul 09
Hi snowy, no, it won't be repeated by the same person anyway, and she didn't do it on purpose or to be mean. But I do think everyone needs to be mindful of the circumstances of our friends lives that we DON'T know, so sharing certain things in places other than here, should be an automatic no no......
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Jul 09
Yeah, I wouldn't want them to. And a lot of fambly members are over there...
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
I won't even let my hubs come here! LOL
2 people like this
@dawnald (85129)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Jul 09
me either (evil grin)
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
Unless we could confine them to a category all their own...........lol
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
23 Jul 09
GAH! I too keep certain things separate because I also have family on facebook, including my parents, my siblings, cousins, and other relatives. I also have friends on there that I have had most of my life, we're talking people I met when I was five! I don't necessarily need them seeing some of the stuff I talk and rant about here lol. I don't mind the good natured bantering that goes back and forth on the wall between various friends of mine from here and there but yeah, if I suffered some sort of injury, accident, or whatever and I talked about it here but you saw no mention of it on my facebook, I would think you'd know not to spill the beans. I'm also pretty clear about my religious views here... and I tend to be outspoken there as well, but a lot of my friends and family ARE religious, so I choose to not expose them to the worst of my rants. I don't want to HURT them, I simply don't agree so I usually choose to bow out gracefully or change the subject when it comes down to it. I don't feel that way HERE where people are sharing opinions and they aren't really designed to hurt somebody, nor do opinions really hurt anyway. So... bottom line, no I would not want family and friends 'finding out' something that I had chosen to keep from them for MY OWN REASONS via someone from mylot who is also my friend on facebook taking something I wrote here and posting it there. That nearly seems like a betrayal even if it wasn't intentional. The best guideline would be 'ask first!', right?
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
24 Jul 09
Hey boo..........and yes, RIGHT on every point in your response. I'm hoping this discussion makes that plain to the mylotters here and this won't happen again even though in this case, it happened out of love. We still need our privacy to be respected.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 Jul 09
well, that was tacky for them to do that. we have an old saying here about people that want to tell everything, 'they didn't let their coat tail till they told that'.alot of people are like that but it has never been my favorite trait in people. i am on facebook but do very little on it. i think mylot is alot more to my liking. by telling something like that it could be very shocking to family & friends.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
It's going to be hard to explain to my family members when the word gets around, but the responsible party was just being a friend, and I can't take issue with that. It's my own fault really.........
2 people like this
@grace118224 (1038)
• China
23 Jul 09
yeah i agree with you . Sometimes we just want to keep some screts from our family members.
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
For me, it's not secrets so much as just keeping a part of myself that they just don't 'get' you know? And heaven knows, some health issues they just don't need to know about because they would only worry...........
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Hi sparks, Sorry to hear, about the stuff you been going through. I do have a habit of telling mylot members stuff I don't even tell my family,well I did till my mom became a member in February. I don't have a Facebook account but was thinking of gettng one but every time I am about to, I hear about stuff that makes me take more time in deciding. I have a MySpace account but hardly sign in there unless someone has wrote me or left a comment. Sometimes it is hard keeping things separately from other sites when you have friends in both places since it does have the tendency to carry over in both sites.Well, good luck in the future and hope things get straightened out..takecare.
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Will doo...or try to..
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
I hear ya. If you do sign up to Facebook, just be sure to keep your profile private to your friends only. You'll meet a lot of mylotters there! LOL
1 person likes this
@moondancer (7433)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I know exactly what you mean. I am the same way with my lot and other places that I go to. I go to each of them for different reasons and the one here at mylot I take more seriously than any of the others. I too put things here that I don't in others. My family is part of the others. Although my mom is here albeit rarely. I really would not want someone else telling or letting my family know something unless I wanted to tell them.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Jul 09
I know, I think we have our little playgrounds the ones we can just goof off in, the ones we can be silly,form relationships, be serious, or playful in like my lot. We form bonds and get close to the others that do the same as we do or somewhat close. Then there are the other sites that we just mess around in, it's not really like us...but it is at the same time. Just places to get out what's in our hearts and on our minds. Different playgrounds for different purposes. I have been resting. I had to relax some after running around to the doctors, pharmacy, department store, and grocery store. I was wasted when I came in. But I had to let you and mama know what the doc said. I just got on here after eating and was going to lay down which I did. Now I'm back up again.lol
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
Hi sweets. You're supposed to be resting! LOL I know what you mean. My hubs agreed to stay away from here, because he knows it's a different kind of posting place, and if he joins Facebook that's ok with me, though HE may be a little shocked at what kind of silliness I get involved in there. LOL
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I'm glad you rested. I've so much to catch up on here, so it's a good thing it's so hot here tonight I won't be able to sleep anyway............
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
22 Jul 09
Hi Sparks! I can see your point and that is why I am not bothering with my account on FB hardly at all. I either open up two seperate accounts there and keep family and offline friends seperate from online friends - but that is impossible now because online has become offline too So I stick here and will just sort FB out later. Then I'll have to do one in Italian anyway so... forget it
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
22 Jul 09
So you see my point too
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
Oh dear, one in Italian! ROFL Yep, stick to the lot!
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
23 Jul 09
Hmmm. Firstly I didn't know that you were in hospital and secondly I'm not sure if we are friends on Facebook. I hope that you are feeling better and sorry that you didn't get a message from me. Wasn't me wot told honest! I have two FB accounts where I keep family and friends separate. I love both groups, but sometimes there are things said by one that I might not feel is suitable consumption by the other. I do get called p1ke on the friends group and I guess that I have to accept that. More people know me by that name than my real one!
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I can't remember if you and I are friends there either.......I'll check. I've been a member there for so long, but not very active until recently when lotters started coming out of the woodwork. LOL I was only in hospital today for an MRI to map the lesions on my brain from the mini strokes I've been having for years and the 'larger' one I had a few days ago. Apparently, I'll live, and mentally function, but have to take it easy........the ravages of encroaching old age and an over worked brain! LOL
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
Will do.............thanks p1ke.
@p1kef1sh (45681)
23 Jul 09
With your mind those strokes are on a hiding to nothing! Sparky will win every time! I'm more than plesaed that you are doing OK. Listen to the docs and take it easy please.
1 person likes this
@tdemex (3540)
• United States
22 Jul 09
I'm not involved in this in any way but from an outsiders view point this seems like an issue you, yourself has created and now your asking people to police it for you! Being an old guy I would want to warn you that this probably isn't going to work, Facebook has a bunch of filters and safe guards to protect your privacy you may want to check them out, I saw this on Rachael Ray the other day and was amazed! Lessons learned! tdemex
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
You've missed the whole point of my discussion. Well that's to be expected I guess as you haven't participated with me and my friends long enough to understand my point.............but be that as it may, I'm not asking anyone to do anything except treat others as they would want to be treated............a more than 3000 year old concept!
2 people like this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
Feel free to jump in any time tdemx. Just be sure what you're jumping into! LOL I didn't mean to sound snippy, but it's been one of those days, you know?
2 people like this
@tdemex (3540)
• United States
22 Jul 09
Sorry didn't mean to jump in the middle of anything!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 09
Sparks- I would not want nor respect anyone who posted things about me or my family on any social networking site. What I choose to reveal about myself is my business, but if someone else friend or not were to do it I'd be reporting them for TOS violations, and making it very clear to them that I didn't not appreciate it. I'm not sure which troll did this, as I do not have you yet as a friend on Facebook but I know it's not the two friends that I have on there who are on here. They wouldn't do such a thing. I wish you luck though. I did read your other thread notice but am swamped with emails myself and getting there. I would hope that this person who did it would know it was in poor taste, and very disrespectful to you to share your personal information like that. Namaste-Anora
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 09
LOL. We're friends on FB. Take a look through the pictures, you'll find me.
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
22 Jul 09
I haven't been to facebook yet, so don't know who's responsible. I got an email from a good friend telling me the bad news though............ As for FB, I know you're not on my list, and I wouldn't know how to find YOU there, so if you want to join my rather silly nonsense there, pm me and I'll give you my name there.......
1 person likes this
• Regina, Saskatchewan
23 Jul 09
I've straightened out the fb thing..........it came from the person's heart so it's really my fault I wasn't clearer....
1 person likes this