How do you tackle when you feel depressed and let down by your own family member

India
July 24, 2009 6:59am CST
I feel like crying my heart out but i don't. I start feeling after all i have done for them this is what i get in return. I try my best to distract myself watching a movie or going for a walk. But my nature is such that i forget the whole episode and get back to normal.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@yogambal_64 (1016)
• India
26 Jul 09
its quite disappointing to undergo such situations in life. If I would be in your place I would ignore the person totally. It is good to forget the past and get back to normal but if these kinds of incidents keep repeating I would think of a serious solution.
• India
27 Jul 09
Certain relationships cannot be ignored. You have to bear with them. All that you can do is to forget and forgive and get back to normal beacuse to err is human and to forgive is divine.
• India
26 Jul 09
Well, there have been many instances I have been let down by my parents. I try to talk to them about it. Generally, they never understand the spotlight of what I am trying to say. And, I finally give up to do it my way in future after I get to lead my own life. It is always necessary to synchronize talks when it comes to family. Less trash talks better the life. :)
• India
27 Jul 09
I like your attitude of giving up and deciding later when you lead you own life. But remember the fact that there is a big generation gap between you and your parents. It takes them time to understand what you want to convey. They on the other hand think they are doing good for their children. So that's it. Anyway be patient and forget the past and be normal because after all they are your parents who love you so much. But as you said an open talk in the family is always healthy.
• United States
24 Jul 09
Yeah, I know how you feel. I'm usually the kind of person that confronts problems and people that hurt me head on. Sometimes it would start out as a rational complaint, other times there was no time for a rational complaint. (You just broke my IPOD! You horrible, selfish.... and so on) But even when you yell and vent, and they might yell back, but in the end you are closer for it, and it makes you feel better. I lived by this. When I was slighted, I let you know about. That is, until I met my husband. His family holds everything in, all the time. They see it as the good, Christian thing to do, to always forgive and forget without a word. If you tell someone they've done something wrong or hurt you, all you're doing is hurting them. So my husband and his whole family evolved to be 100% non confrontational, even if it means they are hurt over and over again because they never spoke up the first time. So I've started picking up on that. 7 years later, it was bound to happen. But let me tell you, the confronting things head on, sometimes resulting in yelling and crying, is BY FAR better. I really don't like that I've lost myself a bit in this regard. I've always been a very compassionate person, but there is such a thing as being TOO caring. And when you stop speaking up is when you've crossed that line. So I could be completely wrong on where you're coming from, but the end is the same. You can't forget things, you can't ignore them, and you can't go around saying nothing. Confront them with your hurt and anger. Do it calmly, let the air out, and they might get hurt and angry too, but chances are that you'll feel better. I've seen time and time again proof that this is the way to these things. Good luck.
• India
24 Jul 09
You are right. When you vent out your anger you always feel better as you have said. It is very difficult to be silent and enduring. By the way welcome to mylot.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Aug 09
The last comment sound like my granny she always advice me that you ahve to be good no matter how the opposite person is. Till some extend I agree with her but if the person do not take notice of it then all your effords go waste. What is the point in forgiving when the opposite person does not realised that he has hurt you ?? recently I am also going to the same phrase and I have decided that to give up and accept the fact that people only want the services and really don't care about our feelings. So let them enjoy the services and for myself I will keep myself busy in all the other things that is more of value for me then them. If you are hurt you go more close to God and get little by little cut off from the earthly things and I believe that in the end all the living being destiny is ALMIGHTY, so the end result will be better, no the BEST.
@radx682 (327)
• India
27 Jul 09
I admire your nature. Actually that is the best thing. Just forget the situation and be normal. I feel that you should become more stronger and face the person boldly. I don't mean fight with him / her but don't ignore. If he / she gets back to you again, then answer them in a polite way as if you never cared about what happened to you last time. The family member will feel ashamed of his / her actions. Forgive and forget - you will feel better :-)
@divkris (1163)
• India
27 Jul 09
it is a depressing situation when a very close family member lets you down. The best way to cope up is to distract yourself from the subject and also from the person for a while. THen next best thing is to stop expecting from people in general. Only when you have great expectation will you be let down. So, no expectations means you accept whatever the other person does and you have a less painful life :)
@daliaj (5689)
• India
27 Jul 09
I am sorry my friend. I know that it is a very difficult situation to tackle. My parents have faced the same situation in real life. I think the only thing you can do is don't expect anything more from them. Please keep a distance with the family member and forgive him/her. I understand that it is difficult in some situations. I am sorry.