Is it happier to be the eldest?

@dik_an (475)
Malaysia
July 24, 2009 9:57am CST
I'm the oldest children in my family. Do you know how hard to be the eldest for me? Firstly, my parents put their hopes to me. Like, I will enter a good scholl, what kind of work I will do, married with who, ect. I feel like they push me to do that. Furthermore, as the eldest in the family I must be a good example for my sister and brother. Sometimes, It is very tiring right? But then, I think more and more of it. For me, it is very happy to be the first. Because, my mom take full of her attention to me when I was a baby, not like the second baby because my mom will take care of me as well. Then, it is very enjoyful to see their happiness if I can do something good for them (it is actually something good for me too), like when I was married with someone that I love. Those kinds of feelings make me happier to be the eldest... How about you friends? Do you feel that it is happier to be the first?
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11 responses
@net_ankit (643)
• India
24 Jul 09
I am same like you I am elder then my one sister and brother.To be elder brother is easy and hard also.there are some advantage and disadvantage also. you knwo we get priority in some important work and every one will listen us. But also we must live with resposibility because we are elder.
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• India
24 Jul 09
sorry I used elder instead older, I am oldest in my sister and brother.
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@tomjoad (551)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
hi dik_an! i'm the eldest in the family too and let me just say that those responsibilities that you mentioned are really true. it's a load that we should be willing to take. in my case, i did a lot of sacrifices for my younger siblings because well, as you've mentioned, i have to be the role model. at first it was really hard but later on i get used to it. i had to be the one who's understanding and patient for the sake of my brother and sister. i think happiness is not really measured by your position in the family. even if you are the youngest, middle or the eldest, you can be happy. i think what matters most in the family is the bond and love that each share. maybe that's the reason why you are happy as the eldest. because you had a great and loving family to begin with.
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• China
25 Jul 09
I'm the youngest child in my family,never think about this.My elder brother is just like my father,very kind to me,and dote on me.Father and brother always do most of work in family,so i can keep my free time all the time. I'm a chinese man,in our trational culture,the oldest child would inherit father's volition,so the oldest child must do most work and catch father's step.He must be like a father to the member who's younger than he in the family.The youngest,like me, will be protect in a extreme way to prevent any injury.For example,if the family don't have enough money for the two children to enter school,the older will quit automatically,like a father.So,i think i'm happy more or less,at least i can do what i want to.For this,I owe my elder brother.Thank him.
• India
25 Jul 09
i also have my elder brother and the 2nd eldest child in my family of 5.my brother shares all the responsiblity with my father but is to marry yet.so its not always bad to be older.yes you get to share responsibility much earlier.have a good day
• India
25 Jul 09
Ya you are right in a way because the eldest has more responsiblity plus there is an added responsiblity in terms of that you are an ideal for you younger ones so you have to behave more descently compared to the younger ones in your family.....
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@grace118224 (1040)
• China
25 Jul 09
i'm the youngest child in my family . i have two elder sisters. My parents do love me a lot and now i grow up , i love them as they love me . Well i don't know whether it's hard to be the eldest or not. Sure the eldest has more responsibilty shared with parents .They need to help parents to look after sisiters or brothers and they have to set a good sample as you mentioned.
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@defcon505 (921)
• United States
25 Jul 09
It's a burden.
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@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
24 Jul 09
Hi dic_an, These all things are relative. Now you are the eldest surely the burden would be on your head. This is not a cultural practice in your region, the same thing goes here too. The eldest is supposed to lead the younger. But this is a fallacy. Remember your younger could be of different composition and if you go to implement your law she could reject it and what you would you do might might not be possible for her to do. So there is a compromise.
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@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
24 Jul 09
i am the eldest but i only have one brother! being the eldest is okay with me but its not easy, i guess. coz if you are the eldest, expectations are higher, responsibilities are bigger...since i am the eldest i am like a second parent to my brother and i feel like i am really responsible for him... my brother looks up to me and i am glad that i have become his inspiration... being the eldest is also good in a sense that, since i am the eldest, i have been the favorite of my grandparents!@ hehehe because i am their first grandchild!
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@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
24 Jul 09
I am the eldest out of my siblings. I feel okay with being the eldest but there are disadvantange. LIke you said your siblings look up to you. And when my sister looked up to me i failed her. I didn't set a good example and she made the same mistakes. One thing I did do right is a completed high school with great grades. My sister and brother didn't. But my youngest sister is still in school and she does great as well.
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@Dinu024 (316)
• India
24 Jul 09
Really great to be the eldest kid in the family, to our parents. There can some pressure on us at our early stage, mainly during the teens when we enter 12th, college, we also have to choose our career here, so everyone in the family pressurizes us to take up a good course, at a good college and also the learn a lot of other stuff. According to the elders, it is also a fact, learning is at the teen(young) age, so a lot of stuff to learn. i think I am getting a bit too deep, or a bit too theoretical(old style), let me finish it in a good way. I'm the eldest kid here, in my home, I have a bro. To say, I'm like a path to my bro, every place I take a fall my parents correct that fall for him. Well because of that, they have more consideration on me as i take the lead before him he he :) Now that was life wise affection coming to home, my mom likes my bro a bit more as they have small arguments which has brought them close, as for me I don't argue much i only walk off when an argument is about to pull me me in. my father likes us both but he likes a bit more, but anyways he praises my bro a lot saying he is good compared in studies. Sometimes I had to be eldest, because they keep saying, when i have a fight with my brother, 'You are the elder, why don't give it in to him, he is only a small boy'. My temples would rise, i will feel that was so unfair, anyway even he is scolded at times for other reasons he he :) oh brother...i have made this too long, please don't dose off :] happy lotting :)
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