What's the best thing to do?

Philippines
July 25, 2009 3:20am CST
Hi everyone.. I understand that in married life, no one is perfect and no relationship is ever perfect.. However, at this point in time, I'd say that I'm so down in my married life.. I don't understand the behavior of my husband who always chose to go out at night and come back after midnight.. The worst thing is, when he got the ATM card where I deposited my father's money because he entrusted it to me.. I accidentally left the notebook where I wrote the PIN number.. I just found out later that only 1/4 of the money is left.. when I confronted my husband, he just said he used it to his friends.. Gosh, I really feel terrible since I don't have much income and my husband is just at home taking care of our baby.. I don't understand why my husband do this while in fact he knew very well that we are short of money.. I had been trying to talk to him heart to heart.. I think I've done everything to talk to him.. however, he always tend to do the same things that hurts me so much.. You think I better get away from him? I'm tired and sick already of what he does.. I really feel I'm not loved at all.. Thanks for your ideas.. God bless..
5 responses
@eileenleyva (10727)
• Philippines
25 Jul 09
raynejasper, your husband is in turmoil. He doesn't have a job and he doesn't have money. He is stuck with a baby and his wife is the one bringing home the bacon. What else could a trapped young father do but seek out the company of his friends. Blabbing the same things to him will make him look at you as a nagging wife. So don't. Enough is enough. Continue with your work and take care of your baby when you are home. Cry yourself out when your husband is not home. Pour your heartaches to God if you feel like it. Your situation will change when your husband finds himself again on the tracks. Do not give up easily. In the meantime, manage your finances well. Your ATM is yours alone. Give your husband a few bucks to help him out in seeking a job. The vow is for richer for poorer, for better or for worse... but of course I myself would like it for richer and better only, ha ha. Be brave!
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
..thanks.. your idea is a great help.. now I realize.. thanks once again.. God bless..
@acie_21 (5647)
• Philippines
2 Dec 09
hi there.. what if.... you'll leave him alone...and let him come back to you if his ready ,mature ,responsible man , dad and husband! if not.....good bye!.........heheheheheh! kidding..its really your decision now.. on what will you do to your husband.. and what makes you happy and best for you and your baby... stay happy!
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
well i think your husband is not ready to be a responsible man... his not a single now... why dont you try to seperate your husband to realise him what is the right? give a lesson,well i know its hard to do that but i think that is the one best thing you can do.. at least you know also if you are trully love your husband...
28 Jul 09
if there is still room for real talk, then now is the time. dont wait for the situation to worsen because it may lead you to hate your husband. before anything else, get the reasons why your husband is doing this. he may be insecure because he is the one left at home when he should be the one to bring home the bread. your husband may be acting this way because he feels that his pride is crushed, that he is useless and that he is nothing compared to you. it's not that im saying you are wrong, it's oly because men have their pride. we women are there to help them understand that we are here to help them also.
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 09
I am sorry to hear hear your situation, and I could only say, if you think you have hit your tolerance level, maybe leaving is the next best options. I am not here to instigate for a divorce, but sometimes, a break is better than dragging it on. I don't know if you have any child, if you do, don't you think letting the child living by this example is bad? happy MyLotting.. :)