I am finally free!

United States
July 26, 2009 8:08pm CST
I have spent so much time worrying over what I can do to win over my possible future in-laws. They have never met me, heard my voice, seen a picture of me but they know I am not an Indian girl (they actually have no idea what country I am even from lol ) I finally feel free though because I realized something. Yes I love their son and I think he is cute but he isn't my life. If he is so much of a coward he will not fight for me, I don't need him. He is 30 I am 20, I can find someone better worse case scenario. If he makes the decision that he cannot bear to make his parents mad even for a minute, even for something he says is so important then it wasn't meant to be and I can go on with my life happily. I don't really need advice, i just kind of wanted to say that.
3 people like this
14 responses
• United States
27 Jul 09
I know that you said you don't need advice, and I'm not going to give you any. I just wanted to say that I read your post on this matter last night, and CONGRATS TO YOU!! Like I said, it doesn't really matter what they think.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jul 09
Good for you! I hope you manage to keep your perspective down the road. Life is hard enough for everyone, we all need someone who will be there by our side, standing up for us if they truly love us.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
27 Jul 09
I assume you mean South Asian Indian, not North American Indian. Sometimes cross culture marriage simply does not work. It sounds like you have made the right decision as you also usually inherit the family of the spouse too. I sounds like they have already prejudged you based on your skin colour. Thank goodness you did not bring any children into this family.
@Milesxiao (104)
• China
27 Jul 09
Congritulations to you! Keeping your heart free, it is a wise action. if you have thought over about the whole things, you will find what is most important to you. Sometimes, we only need a listener beside us. right?
@roberten (3131)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Are you sure you're only twenty? Girl, you don't need any advice because you have handled you're business; you dropped that zero and now you're looking for a Hero. Advise, you don't need anyone's advise because you just handled your biz...uha, you sure did. I like the way you just took charge and stepped up to stand up for yourself. You got a good self-image, you're good looking, you're young, and you're smart to boot; you're doing just quite fine. Kudos, you go Miss Thang!
@ucue2008 (926)
• Malaysia
27 Jul 09
Ohh, good for you, you know how to decide for your own life. It needs courage to make that kind of decision. I wish for everything working great for you. Good luck.
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
27 Jul 09
Just a fiew words..go girl..find the best way..the life must go on!! Happy mylotting...:)
@daliaj (5689)
• India
27 Jul 09
I think it is a good decision to keep move on. I am sorry, I am not giving you advice, I am only giving my comments. I can understand your situation very well because I am an indian girl who married an American. Indians are very traditional and it is very difficult for Indian parents to accept a foreigner to their family. Luckily, my parents are open minded and they accepted my love and told that the final decision about marriage should be mine. But, my relatives can't digest it yet. They are changing their opinion once they started communicating with my husband. I can also understand the situation of the guy with whom you were in love. It is difficult for a son to say 'no' to parents. Parents have spend a lot of money for their son and they have dreams about the marriage and future of their son. They don't like their son to marry a foreigner girl. In this case the son feels bad or guilty to go against parent's wish even though he loves the girl so much. I know, it is a sad situation.
@echomonster (2227)
• Greenwood, Mississippi
27 Jul 09
That sounds like a mature attitude to take. It's never a good idea to rush into marriage -- too often people find out who they've married only after they've gone down the aisle and the surprise is often not a very good one. You're wise to realize that your boyfriend's hesitation to fight for you in this instance reveals something about him which will definitely manifest itself later in your lives together. While I'm sure your feelings are genuine, still you should be open to the possibility that you might meet someone better who is both less dominated by his parents and yet whose parents actually would embrace, support, and welcome you instead of take a hostile attitude towards you.
@jbrooks0127 (2327)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Good for you blue. So often we get caught up in the problem at hand we fail to see the way out. You are so right in that if he would not stand up to his parents for you he is not worth your time. If he is so intimidated by his parents that he can not tell them what is important to him then what would he be like in other areas of your life. If you had stayed with him you would have had to deal with this for a long time to come. You can do so much better. You are very wise for your age. You will do well in your life that is clear.
@trickiwoo (2703)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Good for you! You deserve someone that appreciates you for who you are and is willing to stand up for you! Don't settle for anything less! It is unfair to make him chose between you and his family, but if he won't even make an effort to make you feel accepted then you don't need to be with him!
• United States
27 Jul 09
That is right congrats on opening your eyes PLEASE VOTE FOR MY SON WHO WAS ENTERED INTO A BABY CONTEST http://mypublicnews.blogspot.com THANKS TO ALL SUPPORTERS!!!!!
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
27 Jul 09
So, your boyfriend is an Indian, and his parents wanted him to marry an Indian girl instead? If he couldn't fight for you, then, like what you said, you should move on. Because a man must fight for what he really love, and he should fight for the right of his woman too. I did fight for my girlfriend once, and had a big fight with my parents. Although things didn't work out as I expected it to be. At least, I fought for what I really want, and I really love her for once.
@his0yir (258)
27 Jul 09
You are a brave one, and honest. Thumb up for you.