What are the common reason of marriage broke-up?

Philippines
July 26, 2009 11:30pm CST
I was married for 5 months and I am affraind that in the long run we might encounter problems that would destroy my family. what are the common reason of marriage broke-up? if in case I will encounter those probs. at least I have the tips on how to solve it. Please share your experienced as well as on how you handle those problems to preserve your family's good relationship. Thanks
2 people like this
18 responses
• United States
27 Jul 09
The common reason for marriage breaks up is miscommunication, boredom, and disagreement.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
correct!
• Brunei Darussalam
27 Jul 09
I have been married for coming 13 years this August. During my early stage married, everything went terrible. It seems that my husband and I have never met due all single items were debated. Time past so quick. My marriage reaches to 5 years then I learned something. To be a good husband or wife, both should close either one eye or both. We can't sight the real person of our partner because it will turn things upside down, but if you took a blind step, avoid to focus on your partner habits, hobbies, hate and so forth, we shall move on together forever. I would say not to be over known on your partner purity as it won't bring you a better life in marriage. Being Blind and Deaf will sometimes wins many situations.....
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
Your party right in the some aspect. But Im so sorry I don't agree with your last statemen. "Being blind and deaf will win many situations" be cause if I see negative things that she did I will always tell her but the problem is she is not OPENMIND And I think we need to tell our partners weakness vice versa so that we can overcome it, if not at least we can minimized.
• United States
27 Jul 09
you had and have these doubts and have only been married five months then you shouldn't have gotten married. How are you already foreseeing these problems? And if you are, can't you just make sure you work on a way to avoid them or work through them? You didn't mention any specific problems so it is hard to explain how to handle them and preserve a good familial relationship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I did not specify coz I believe that there are lots of common reasons why a couple broke-up right? thanks for your reply
@witmuch (184)
• United States
27 Jul 09
I myself am divorced and remarried. To me and most marriages the top two reasons for divorce are Financial status of the marriage and infidelity. My first marriage fell apart because he allowed his grandmother to run his life and our marriage, even his feelings were hers in many areas. This is because she was the person that raised him. Once I was kicked out, I found out that he was cheating on me with a girl that had a kid and was in his bartender class with him. So much for honesty in why he kicked me out. He was with two other people after that and I filed for divorce. We were also financially strapped and owed a lot of money on bills in two different states. Most of which were in his name and mostly hospital bills in my name. I paid my stuff off on my own and he is still paying on his bills. At this point in my life, I am debt free, and he still owed around $35,000. He also could not keep a job for more than one to three months. Congratulations on your marriage! If you are having thoughts like this now, you really want to sit down and talk with your spouse. You should be financially sound before you attempt any kind of marriage agreement and at least own a car without any bills on the side (not including rent/mortgage, utilities, and hospital bills). You should feel free to talk to your spouse, while at the same time think about how you word things. She wants a listener, and he wants to fix things. But without listening to each other, neither of your will understand what you want from each other.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Thank you so mcuh as well as for your wonderful advised. As of now I do have many credits from lending and cooperatives establishment her in my place and I am paying it every pay day. All the bills is my responsibility coz she doesn't have work she is the one taking care to our 2 and 8 months old son. It is very hard for me coz I don't get anything from my parents coz I were abandoned when I was 3 years old until at present. So, before marriage I tried to build a small house and bought a small land in which I could have the place for my own family to live with. My present situation is also one of our problems coz I am working at the same time studying during night time from 5:30-9pm. Because I am only earned an associate degree in which I need to upgrade my educational attainment for our future also. I am a 2 year nursing assistant graduates and continuing my Bachelor of Science in Business Administration Major in Management (3rd year level). Thanks again
@babshish (1390)
• India
27 Jul 09
Hi, Marriage is relationship of trust. Ensure that your better half don't loose trust in you, neither you. The couples should have trust in each other, in any circumstances. Try to give time to your family from your busy schedule. Make your better half comfortable with you and she should have the confidence that she is always having you as backup whenever required. This will keep your relationship healthy. All the best for your future.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Thanks I will try to follow your advise and I let you know if it will work me. Once again thank you..
@grace118224 (1040)
• China
28 Jul 09
For i think the most important things in marriage is that don't complain too much about each other . Complaints will people even with good temper become crazy . When people face a lot of complaints he or she might have a very bad mood then every wonderful things turn to bad things.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Jul 09
Dear friend why are you afraid. Only those persons get afraid who do not have faith nor trust in their partners. Think positive friend this feeling of being positive will bring you alive. I am a bachelor yet and i do not know how to be with a partner but yet i can say that create such a bond no power on this earth can break it. There are so many ancient couples who had a close bond with each other.
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
Yes your partly correct.. But I am really afraid with it, coz I was grown up with the different people coz my parents broke up also without my knowledge why they end with their relationship. Are you already married?
• India
31 Jul 09
No i am not married i notice the things around me. I take a close look how my brother takes of my bhabhi. And many other factors that make me think in such a way.
@tuhpaul (475)
• India
27 Jul 09
For me it is trust,honesty,openness,sacrifice,patience,truthfullness- this has carried me for 27 years and am still going strong by the blessing of the Almighty.There have been disagreement but we sorted it out after an argument - I mean when we both cooled off.
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
thats true
@tundeemma (896)
• South Africa
27 Jul 09
i think the main reason why marriages broke up is because of infidelity, people often cheat on each other and when they got caught in their game , their marriages will either broke up or have an unsteady relationship and that means they may not talk to each other
• Philippines
5 Jan 10
Very well said tundeemma.
@kcoregon (303)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Lack of communication. This I believe is a huge issue with failed marriages. One person feels that the other's behavior upsets them. But they don't speak up. They bottle it up until they can't take it anymore. Feeling resentment towards the other they decide to end the marriage. If you aren't willing to face problems in your marriage or communicate with your partner you are going to be in trouble. But if you can talk openly with your partner you can resolve the little problems and issues and are more willing to forgive them for their little imperfections rather than dwell on them.
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Honestly I am very openminded person. However, when I confronted her about things she would always tell a lie at me. I would always found the truth to her friend that it is like this and like that etc. Through all your advises I am trying to get good things that I would possibly apply to my present problem and hoping to build more better foundation of my family and eliminate the bad attitudes and change it for the better. Thank you so much and God bless you always..
@jellatin (22)
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
For me you and your wife should have unconditional love for each other. The trust that both of you has been working for so many years should not be broken. Both parties should have open-mindedness,sensitiveness to the feelings of your partner and the most important to all is "COMPLETE AND CLEAR COMMUNICATION". The trials that your marriage would encounter is just a challenge and no matter what happens don't lose hope and don't be afraid to bring down your pride. always pray!!!!!!!!
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
thats the problem coz if I clear something she wouldn't understand me we always shouting each other coz if Im angry she will also shout at me so there is no clear communication and we can't get each others point. we usually end up with nonsense arguement. and the problem were not solve.
@j92mike (54)
• United States
27 Jul 09
Not trusting eachother is the worst, and finances. My personal favorite is distance it will get you every time.
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
when you trust somebody and if she made something wrong that cost relationship. The word TRUST is very hard to re-establish again I mean it takes so much time for us to cope up with it right?
• Philippines
27 Jul 09
there a few, but i don't know if this is right: 1. lack of trust 2. lot more interested in third party 3. fights 4. lack of commitment 5. cheating 6. immaturity
• Philippines
31 Jul 09
1. Lack of Trust I think is is the most problem in every relationship. coz lack of trust will really destroy our own family and cause arguments that would ruined the every relationship.
@larish (2195)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
I am married for 1 year and 3 months. Based on my experience, it is very important that we accepted the weaknesses of our partner. We should not only love them for their good traits but also with their bad traits. For example, since he does not know how to cook, I accepted the task of cooking for him and since he knows I don't like cleaning the house, he do it for me. We do not nag each other for not doing things that should be done because at the start, we already know our weaknesses. We accepted and compliment each other. It is also important that you have the same values about money. Money can really be a cause of the downfall of any marriage. As much as possible talk how you should handle money. Happy myloting.
@_sketch_ (5709)
• United States
28 Jul 09
The number one cause would definitely have to be money. The next would probably have to do with lack of communication due to things like work schedules which could lead to lots of issues including cheating, which is obviously a big deal-breaker. I have never been married, so I'm no expert or anything, but who really can be? I have been in a few long-term relationships and I've known lots of couples with problems and I think that the biggest issue is honesty. An individual is entitled to some privacy, but for the most part it is really important that secrecy is kept to a minimum. Trust is very important in any type of relationship and when a person in that relationship lies or keeps secrets it is very difficult for the other person to be able to keep that trust. I think that another good thing to do to keep a relationship strong is to ask about your partners day and such and to vent to each other about your worries and problems instead of keeping it all bottled up because eventually it is going to come out most likely by taking it out on the other person. Those closest to us are the ones we hurt the most.
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
28 Jul 09
Hi there.. i have my marriage for 7 years..and so many problems that we should face and solve it.. Your married will be all right..if you open your mind to solve your probs. More communicative, understanding to each other and find the right time to be together. If you really love your soulmate..i think you will never give up to make your marriage full of happiness.. thanks..happy mylotting :)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
MUST GOD is the center in MARRIAGE...
• United States
27 Jul 09
I think generally that the two reasons marriages get strained to begin with (which in turn leads to more and more problems and the marriage runs downhill) is financial issues and raising kids. Especially if one partner has financial issues (whether they are in debt or are running both people in the marriage into debt), it can lead into pretty big arguments. To be honest with you, the only arguments my husband and I have had thus far have been about his spending habits. You have to learn when to talk in a civil manner about things, though, and not let tempers explode. It has also been shown that an average couple's general happiness goes down significantly after the first child is born and only goes up to normal after the last child leaves the house as an adult. Many couples have arguments over raising the kids, who will take care of the kids, a lot of the times one person in the marriage will be okay with something their child does while the other is not, and that will start an argument. If I can find the study results on this I'll try to post them; I think it was an article about what strains a marriage most. Finances and kids led the list by far. Personally, I married my husband with the mentality that my wedding vows meant everything to me--and they still do. I don't care what happens...my husband could get a terminal disease or get put away in jail for life...no matter what, "for better or for worse," I will stick by his side. Divorce isn't an option for us, so we will fix our problems rather than run from them. If you don't want anything to destroy your marriage, be prepared to work on any problem, small or large, that is thrown your way. It might get hard but you can pull through. :)