if your boyfriend told you he'll leave you if you get fat, what would you do?

@raenie (707)
Philippines
July 28, 2009 3:33am CST
I have a friend whose boyfriend told him that (I don't think he was joking though) my friend is not fat at all but she got hurt when he said that--if you were in her shoes, what would you do? I told her that was such a shallow reason to break up over her getting fat --what do you think??
8 people like this
50 responses
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
28 Jul 09
I would not even date someone , that would consider saying that to me. Who is he to say this type of thing ?What happens if he gets fat.I guess that's ok for creeps like this. Your friend should ditch this guy for one who loves her no matter what happens in the future.
3 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I agree with what you're saying--the weird thing here is he's really treated her very well but I guess that's one of his negatives --I just hope it's not an indication of anything more troubling--because he really seems like a good guy though...
@Capsicum (1444)
• United States
28 Jul 09
For your friends sake ,I hope so too....... Its funny how fast a nice guy, can turn nasty once he has you in his grip .
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
I totally agree with youpretty disappointing when that happens...
• Lithuania
28 Jul 09
my ex boyfriend left me, because i was normally body girl, not skinny... now i am very happy. i am merried now.. my husband has overweigh, looks fat, but i never leave him, because i love him! of course, men want to have very sexy girl beside, prode that his wife/girl is very beatiful, sexy and...to know that his friends would like to have her, but she is his!.. But if you really love a human you will love him with no point.. it will be not matter he/she is fat, slim or even have a sirious ill and bla bla... i think this guy do not respect her and i think there is no love... he like to be with her, (maybe make a"love"). But i know few men whose divorse because their wives looks too fat..
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
love should definitely be more than skin deep--that's really good for you that you found love, & not just for your physical appearances or weight-it's such a sad thing that some people think that the physical aspects outweigh everything else in a relationship
• Lithuania
29 Jul 09
yes, i am very happy that i found my other side of my heart.. it is a bit sad of this what happen with some couples..
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
you're very lucky indeed and I wish you all the best in your relationship!
• United States
28 Jul 09
I would break up with my boyfriend if he got fat - and I told him that straight to his face. Also I would never date someone that was fat and there is one reason behind it. If you don't care enough about your body and therefore get fat and become unhealthy how am I suppose to think you are going to care about me? Yes there are people that have illness that makes them overweight and that is different - but most of those people will get obsessed and still not try to diet or go to the gym and use the illness as the full excuse. So if you're fat, eating right - no junk food, and exercising 3-4 times a week and doing everything in your power then no shame on you, but if you aren't doing all the above then learn to love yourself the right way instead of showing your love my stuffing food down your face, and then maybe I might love you.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Jul 09
i agree 100 percent not alot of people feel the way. that we do.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
I do see what you both mean, I guess it also comes down as to how one says it I guess, if it's out of concern and love--taking care of ourselves is one way of showing that we love ourselves as well...
• United States
29 Jul 09
seriously though, why would your be with this guy that seems like he only cared about her physical appearance? Also, it really is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone you're in a relationship with! If you're in a relationship, it must be because you love/like each other, if he had a problem with her being fat, then he shouldn't be with her in the first place! Your friend deserves better! I totally agree with you, it's incredibly shallow to break up if she becomes fat!!! We girl's have pride too, maybe we like our man to be a little muscular and not too skinny! See what he says about that! ;)
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
that's what's pretty puzzling as well since he really seems like he's a good guy & they really seem to be happy with each other (plus that friend is not fat at all!)--support should come from one's boyfriend and one shouldn't bring the other down--I do believe that he has some wonderful qualities, why he said it I have no idea
@jazel_juan (15768)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
well, leave him. he is one superficial person!
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
yeah, what he said was pretty shallow indeed
@med889 (5958)
28 Jul 09
How dare him? I would tell him that was my appearance much more important to you than my love for you? Because I think love is much greater than appearance. And above all what if she really turns fat when she has already been married to himthen will him leave her and go with someone else? This is not acceptable to me though.
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I'm not exactly sure how my friend responded to what her bf said--she just said that she was hurt & she said that she knows she must take care of her weight (she was always conscious with her weight even before him)
@med889 (5958)
28 Jul 09
In a relationship it is very important to know how to keep a balance of everything, sometimes we are compelled to do things which will only prove advantageous to your couple however it might be a simple lie also so a relation needs many ingredients and to make it in your own taste you have to discover and apply new methods of recipe sometimes.
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
it's a learning experience, all right--we keep learning about the other person and it's just both surprising & disappointing sometimes when the other person seems to throw a curve ball--I just really am hoping for my friend's sake that this is a hiccup that won't turn into one iant mess--they both seem to really love each other though...
• China
28 Jul 09
in my opinion, he's not loving her enough or totally. in fact, even he doesnt like the fat. he can tell her she's more beautiful when thin. only this words, i believe she will understand. while not so, to hurt her.
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
yeah--the way you say things can make a lot of difference--it just puzzles me that he seems so superficial when he seems like he's a deep thinker--I guess men can surprise you anytime with their thought--thanks for your thoughts on this
@janebeth (2035)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
what kind of boyfriend he is if he would tell it to me that thing.. he is a complete sh**.. if he will leave me, so go away.. i don't really care.. it just mean that he is after in my body and not in my personality.. i will not let him do that to me, firstly i will break him easily and give him a big bang in his face..!!
2 people like this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
that's what I told my friend--it would be his loss if he left her just because she gained weight--by golly, there's definitely more to a person than her weight--& the relationship shouldn't just be based on that!
@swirlz (3138)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
If I had a boyfriend like that, I'll feed him a lot so he'll get fat, then I'll break up with him, so he'll know how that feels.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
that's a good idea--turn the tables on him--I swear, some guys could be so shallow, it's unbelievable, & here I thought he was a good guy--they all have their faults I guess...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Hahaha, quite eveil, but I love this evilish idea. Indeed, let him taste his own dosage of medicine. Creeps like that are not worthy of our time.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
lol i guess the best way is to be more pretty and be more sexy and broke up with him and introduce him to a chubby guy.. its a big slap to his face.. so he will realize that love is not about the looks.. coz looks faded by years, but the love u can add more love through the years...
2 people like this
@prinzcy (5092)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
If he want to leave her due to her being fat (whether it's true or not), she should be glad and break up with him since he's an a**. That guy is not worth it. Being in a relationship is to accept your partner for who she is. Her body condition should not effect his love for her. If he want to break up for such a stupid reason, she should walk away too. He don't know what he's missing.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
You're definitely right--the thing though is, this has been his negative side so far--& despite this, she's still with him, I just hope that this won't get bigger because aside from this, they seem to be doing great as a couple, it's ahrd to think sometimes since you know your friend is happy but then the bf says something like that-
@prinzcy (5092)
• Malaysia
28 Jul 09
If she still want to be with him, there's nothing you can do about it. Let her decide her own world. All you can do is tell her a piece of your mind but you can't make her listen. Anyway, I don't think the guy can walk out for real anyway. If he really love her he won't break up that easily.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jul 09
He may just be finding ways to end the relationship, saying things that make her worry about what she can or can not do to keep him. Or he may just be mean all together, what ever the reason, if she loves him and wants to be with him and isn't worried about getting fat for him to even leave her then maybe its a subject you shouldn't be all to worried about, who knows, maybe he didn't think that she would ever get fat and said it because he isn't attracted to larger people and did not realize it would make her feel uncomfortable, she will figure out eventually if he really loves her or not! But like a good friend you should always look out for her and let her know if anything doesn' t seem right, just be sure to keep a little distance just in case what you maybe be seeing isn't what it really is meant to be!
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
if my bf will tell me that he will going to leave me if im become fat then ill drop him on that very moment... coz it means he doesnt love me at all. and maybe his only using me as a display.... and what if i reverse the question to him.. like telling him that i will stay sexy and be more pretty but if he will be the one become fat as normally married guys are fat.. what will he think if i leave him and go for someone with abs and muscles?
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Yup, truning the tables might make him realize how hurtful he was--It's sad really of how some guys are just so insensitive & shallow
@robert19ph (4586)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
hello raenie, I think he doesn't love her much if he say that to her. No matter what she looks if he really loves her, he will never leave her. Making such a joke to your love one is not funny at all. Your friend should think a million times before spending the rest of her life to him.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Thanks for your reply--yeah, that's what I can hope for, that she find somebody who really loves her for herself and not put pressure on her...
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
i'll stick his head between his legs and let him kiss his own as*!
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
thanks for the reply
@shimanaja (495)
• Indonesia
29 Jul 09
How could her boy friend tell your friend like that? How rude i think. There is no reason to consider again what kind of her boy friend are. So if he tell your friend that will break up over her getting fat very often..find someoneelse who loved you as you are..
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Yeah, one should be loved for who they are and be supportive of them...
@anaida1 (43)
• India
29 Jul 09
Tell the boyfriend - " I really want to see what options I would have if you get fat honey. Can I date Mark today???"
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Nice comeback
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
dump him IMMEDIATELY. That guy doesn't serve to be loved at all. What a maniac.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Yeah, it could come across as that--I was really surprised he said that to her
• India
29 Jul 09
If he said that he will leave u if u get fat then he is not a great guy to be hanging out with to begin with.Dump him before he dumps u!!
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
thanks for the reply-it's really sad that some guys could be so superficial
@lazeebee (5467)
• Malaysia
29 Jul 09
Hope he meant this as a joke; else just dump him. A guy who will just disappear when you pull on a few pounds, isn't going to be any good. If he had offered to help her lose those weight, or encourage her to go on a healthy diet - now that's someone who's constructive and supportive!
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
Yup, it's also all in the way one says it--it could make all the difference, well hopefully they iron things out and get to the bottom of things because it seems like they're a happy couple despite this...thanks for replying
@angelajoy (1840)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
If my boyfriend were like that I'd dump him right away! Fortunately, he isn't. I know this for a fact because I used to be slim at the first 3 years of our relationship. I've gotten fat, though not really fat, just chubby, and he still loves me very much. That's the type of guy that every woman should have. If a woman sticks to a guy even though she knows that the guy won't love her anymore if she got fat, then that woman doesn't really value herself.
1 person likes this
@raenie (707)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
That's really good for you! I'm happy for you that you found a guy who loves you through it all