What would you do if you weren't invited to the wedding?

@laydee (12814)
Philippines
July 28, 2009 7:49am CST
Let's just say one of your closest friends is getting married. But she/he failed to invite you personally. Would you go to the wedding or would you wait till you were invited personally? I have had that experience before. We were close in our office before she left for another job at another country. She invited me and a colleague personally because she wanted us to be the masters of ceremony that night, but she did say 'invite the others in the office'. She was quite busy because she had lots to do since they just came here (her mother country) to get married and had lots to do. Anyhow, we started inviting the others (as she instructed us) and one of our friends refused to go to the wedding because she wasn't invited personally. I don't know what's proper or not, but the bride did say 'invite the others'. Would you have gone?
2 people like this
10 responses
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
I would still go and at the middle of the wedding banquet, In will throw a golden apple and shout, "To the fairest of them all!"... So that a second Trojan War will happen...LOL! Just kidding... Well, seriously, If a am not invited to the wedding, its ok with me...the couple has the right to choose the persons that will attend their most special day. Its their day anyway!
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 Jul 09
Hahaha... But it would have been great to have to throw that golden apple though, it's a great entrance hahahaha...
@divkris (1163)
• India
29 Jul 09
Well, depends on the kind of relashionship i'm in whith the concerend person If i were amongst her very close or close friends in the office then i would obviously feel hurt. Otherwise it is fine. I think she should have sent a group mail to all her collegues (close or not) and have invited them stating htat she is too busy with other stuffs "and so please consider this as a personal invite." - What do you say?
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 Jul 09
She did send a group mail through us but it said 'XYZ Corp. Family' which meant all of us. Right?
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
I will also not go if i didn't receive any invitation personally, a text message is pretty informal as well but i'd accept email as quite formal invitation. well, i guess that the bride is just setting their budget and that's the reason on why they haven't distributed invitations to some friends. but still, it's inappropriate.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
She actually did send invites, it was just named 'to the ### company family'. She even said we can bring the others even if she didn't know them because she reserved two tables for us. And we told that friend who didn't come about the bride's wishes.
• United States
30 Jul 09
Hi, laydee! If I'm not invited, I don't want to be there. If, however, it was made clear that someone else had been asked to make the invitations, I wouldn't feel that I needed a personal invitation from the bride. We've all had those times when we're just overwhelmed, and we have to delegate some things.
1 person likes this
• Belgium
29 Jul 09
In my country, if people aren't invited personally to the wedding party, I don't think they will show.
1 person likes this
@mapuang (615)
• Philippines
29 Jul 09
i will not attend because its unethical to go there without an invitation. what is she really don't want you to come there. so its safe that u wait for the invitation and if she failed to send it i will not attend.
1 person likes this
@srganesh (6350)
• India
29 Jul 09
It is no problem if you are invited by a representative at the least.Only if you don't get information too,then you can ignore that function.As you have told,she could not afford to invite everybody personally but she will be delighted and welcome everybody who accepts her invitation by any means.For me,if I am informed,I have no problem attending the function.Cheers!
@Wizzywig (7859)
28 Jul 09
I would be concerned that, when she said 'the others' she might not mean everyone and therefore might not mean me. It would depend on how formal the celebration was to be. if it was a seated meal I probably wouldn't but, if it was a fairly informal 'drop in for drinks' type of evening reception I would.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
Hello there, Maybe she means to say "the others" ...the other friends or colleagues in your office.If i am to be asked,i will surely come.We should consider how busy it is preparing for a wedding that is why she had you and other friend assigned for the others to be invited.
• United States
28 Jul 09
I know this is something I'm going to be wierd on, but hey, why not. Personally, I think office associates are one of very few times this is okay, but I do think it is okay. If you send personal invites to co-workers, are you really going to send them to everyone, even the people whose name you barely know? If they get the invite, they are going to wonder why the heck you sent one to them, and if they find out they were one of few who didn't get invited, they will feel hurt and left out. So the best solution is to invite the whole office with a blanket invite- everyone is included, and anyone who feels funny coming can either not go, or can go with co-workers they do know. I think the same would apply to any group situation. I hate people who get all petty about weddings and think its all about them. If someone I liked and thought of as a friend at work gave an invite to the whole office, I would feel happy to be invited at all, not slighted because I didn't get my "personal" invitation. The only exception would be if they were close outside of the work setting. Boy, I wish I had had enough money when I got married to do blanket invites at work. I ended up only inviting the two I was closest too, and I felt horrible I couldn't invite everyone.