How could you make others believe that you are trustworthy?

@dpk262006 (56473)
Delhi, India
August 1, 2009 11:17am CST
Hi there! In today’s fast changing world, people are running here and there. In this world people feel that it is difficult to trust someone, specially when it is virtual or on-line world. If you have to shows to others that you are a trustworthy and reliable person, how would you do it or what efforts would you make to prove your trustworthiness, when you are communicating with others through on-line channels? In virtual world you have very few tools like your words and your language to reveal about yourself and your intentions. Also do you trust others at one go or you are the one who takes time to trust others? What is your take on the issue? Would like to know from you people about it. Thanks in advance.
7 people like this
31 responses
• India
15 Aug 09
Hello my friend dpk262006 Ji, I would bring you and remind you by natural things. Sandle-wood tree need not explain and prove that it is cool and gives out good fragrane. let good people do their jobs and their deeds would smell to everyone and one will attain to be trust-worthy. After someone makes request here for friendship, I always accede to request, without going into profile. Why i should think that one is bad. Why not we learn lesson from 'Bishop and the candle stick'. Why at all one has to prove one's trustworthyness. let everyone do tehir own job as per nature. May God bless You and have a great time.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
Hi maygoblessuji! I agree with your views and thanks for quoting the Sandle wood example. It is good that you accept everyone as your friend, irrespective of his/her profile. It shows you are very 'positive'. About you, I can say with conviction that you are very trustworthy and honest. My observation is based on your positive conduct, which you show while participating in discussions etc. Many Thanks for enriching the post. Deepak
1 person likes this
• India
17 Aug 09
Hello my friend dpk262006 Ji, So nice of you for showing your confidence in me. But, this is only sitting far away, if both parttyies meet in person, it may have some other expected and un-expected reaction on both. If there is any hope, I wish to meet you in person. If possible, please send me PM. May god bless You and have a great time.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
21 Aug 09
God willing, we will meet one day!
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
7 Aug 09
Hi Deepak! I usually never put any extra efforts or something like that to make people to trust me. I will just be myself and straight forward in all matters so that my friends virtual or online trust me because they know what I am... In making friends I will choose those who are straight forward.. How about you?
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
11 Aug 09
Hi Chaitra! Actually, it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. We are friend for quite a long time and I've been dealing with you for many months, I can say with conviction that you are very trustworthy and honest. My observation is based on your positive conduct, which you show while participating in discussions etc. Many Thanks for enriching the post. Chaitra, as far as I am concerned, I also follow your line and I try to be honest and straight forward either I'm working on-line or I'm facing real life friends. I always try to remain consistent in my approach. And I believe that my dear friends 'trust' me. Deepak
1 person likes this
• Bangalore, India
12 Aug 09
yes being hones can gain us a lots of good friends..
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
I agree with you Chaitra!
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (10756)
• India
3 Aug 09
I have never taken any efforts to try and convince anyone that I am trust worthy. I dont think I could do that. I have made quite a few friends in the virtual world who are trustworthy. You are one among them whom I know I could always trust. I do not very easily trust people though.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi mayka! Actually, it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. I can say with conviction that you are trustworthy and honest. It is your greatness that you rate me as 'trustworthy'. Many thanks for enriching the post. Deepak
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11394)
• Pakistan
3 Aug 09
Hi deeepak Hope you must be doing well. u know deepak in every cases, its hard to believe on words and gaining trust. only time can prove it and how well u go on with some one. Well it took me to time some one, but one thing, i always believe that other person is telling me truth and not lieing to me Take care
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi Cupid! Actually, it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. I can say with conviction that you are trustworthy and honest. It is your greatness that you believe that others are telling you 'truth' and are not hidding it. Thanks for enriching the post. deepak
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Aug 09
Deepak, I strongly believe that trust is earned. It comes over a period of time and cannot be enforced. I trust a few people and it too has developed over a period of time. In my personal opinion, it would be wrong to enforce the thought of making people believe i'm trustworthy. They will make a decision for themselves once they get to know me better. If they make a decision that i am not trustworthy, then there is nothing i can try to force them but only give it time and be my natural self.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Hi Alok! I buy your argument that trust is earned and one cannot force others to think that s/he is trustworthy. If one's track record is smooth and okay, sooner or later, s/he will earn trust of others automatically. Thanks for enriching the post.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
hello again my friend! well, i agree with you that its indeed difficult to trust someone specially in this virtual world...but for me, actually, i don't really exert effort just to prove to someone that i am trustworthy...i just let them feel it...and see it for themselves...the only that i am doing is, being consistent on what i am saying and being true to my words, i think...and somehow i know, my friends will definitely feel my sincerity on what i am saying even if they don't know me personally... with me, i trust people that i meet on line, but i don't give too much trust...you know, we still need to be careful...like what i have said, more or less, we will able to feel who to trust and not...we can feel it through their words...and i just believe on what they are saying about them...so if they lie about it, then its not my problem anymore...coz they are just cheating themselves and that they are the one who have been sinned... but for sure i will be careful in trusting someone specially for those personal matters about me...cheaters are all around... have a good day my friend!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
21 Aug 09
Hi ck! I buy your arguments that othere should automatically start trusting your considering your behaviour and conduct. I believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. We are friends for not a very long time, yet after interacting with you I am sure that you are trustworthy and honest. My observation is based on your comments/responses/counter-comments, which you make while participating in discussions. Many Thanks for enriching the post. Deepak
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
21 Aug 09
oh so nice to hear that deepak! i appreciate it... well thanks for finding me that way...well with all my responses, comments, discussions, i am just being me and most of the time i answer base on my experiences...hehehe yes, trust like respect is something that we can't force to someone...we have to gain it...and our actions and words will do a lot for this... but again, we can't please anybody, that's why i am open to the thought that not all people will trust me...on line even offline...with that, i will just do what i think is right and continue doing my things, without bothering myself with those people who don't trust me... was that bad of me? or should i really need to do things to gain other people's trust? what do you think?
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
22 Aug 09
Hi ck! It is good that you just be honest when you write your responses/comments. Yes, our actions and words make an impact on others and they come to a conclusion whether we are trustworthy or not. I fully agree with you that we cannot please everyone either off line of on-line, however, we should continue to follow our path and we should remain consistent. I approve your approach and there is no need for any change in it, you just be as you really are and it is for others to decide whether you are honest and trustworthy. For me, you are very honest and trustworthy and an intelligent person and wonderful friend.
@Sreekala (23602)
• India
12 Aug 09
Hi I think we can’t make anybody to trust us and trust should be earned by ourselves through our behavior/deeds etc. when we speak to somebody either through phone or chat or directly, I think the other person can more or less understand our nature. So it depends on the third person how he/she can observe us or analyze us. If we do something to gain the trust it will give opposite result, I think so. Better to behave as our own style. Regarding trusting to other people, with some interactions we will get an idea.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
Hi Sree! I agree with your views Sree that trust should be earned, I believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. We are friend for quite a long time and I've been interacting with you for many months, I can say with conviction that you are very trustworthy and honest. My observation is based on your positive conduct, which you show while participating in discussions etc. Many Thanks for enriching the post. Deepak
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (23602)
• India
19 Aug 09
Hi Deepak, Thank you very much for the appreciation and your trust. Have a nice day
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
21 Aug 09
Sree! You certainly have certain qualities which makes you a trustworthy and reliable person.
@arkaf61 (10882)
• Canada
5 Aug 09
I am me LOL I am a trustworthy person if someone deals with me for some time, they will see who I am. That's about it. I guess if someone is checking - for a job or something - they can certainly ask people who know me , check my references. I don't really feel I have to show what I am, people just have to deal with me and see. Although I am told that I come across as someone responsible and reliable even for the ones who don't know me. But I really prefer that people take the time to know me so they can experience for themselves who and what I am. When I meet someone, I don't really trust or distrust. I just accept the person for what he/she is. I don't really confide my deepest secrets ( LOL )to that person or deposit any special trust issues. Not because I don't trust the person, just because I wouldn't do so to someone I don't really know. I am usually quite open about my life, so some things might seem that are being said because I trust, but in reality is isn't. It's time that will get me closer to that person - or not - and will bring some more personal insight where I believe trust is needed. SO I guess that will put me in the bracket of people that take time to trust someone, which is not exactly correct because I am a person that believes in the best of each one. But yeah, I am careful, so that can qualify me as not that trusting.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi arkaf! Actually, it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. We are friend for quite a long time and I've been dealing with you for many months, I can say with conviction that you are very trustworthy and honest. My observation is based on your positive conduct, which you show while participating in discussions. You are always just and fair in your responses. It is good that you accept the persons 'as they are'. Many Thanks for enriching the post and writing so well. I am deeply impressed with your response and it is one of best responses so far. Deepak
@tutul0045 (2631)
• India
1 Aug 09
Hi, Well i trust my family members, I dont hide things to them and they dont hide things to me. So i can proudly say that iam honest to atleast some people. Other than that i dont trust anyone quickly. You cant do that in my nature of work. More than that trust is like some thing which is either 100 % or 0 %. There is nothing between that. You can't say that you trust some body 50 %. It means u dont trust that person at all. Also i believe trust is something which can be broken only once in life. There is no second chance in trusting as far as iam concerned. Cheers, Tutul
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Hi there! You have a point to make that either your trust someone 100% or there is no trust at all, there is no -in-between scenario in trusting others. It is good to know that you and your family members trust each other and keep sharing with each other. Thanks for joining us and enriching the post.
• United States
21 Sep 09
I don't try to make people trust me. Either they will or they won't I just tell the truth , period. In time they will find mr trustworthy or not. It is up to them. Me? I assume everyone is telling me the truth until they lie to me . When they do, I assume that everything they say from that moment on is a lie.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
18 Oct 09
Hi Sarah! I am sorry for the delayed comments. Yes, you are right, it is for the others to trust you, you remain honest on your part. I can also vouch for you that you are an honest and upfront. As you yourself is honest, so do you expect the same from other. I can say same about myself. Thanks for sharing your interesting views.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Oct 09
Hi!Don't worry. There isn't a time limit.I Finally got caught up with my posts too.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Oct 09
You are always welcome Sara!!!
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
5 Sep 09
In the online world, to gain another's trust, well I'd first have to think about that. How much trust do I want to gain? Do I really need to or want to gain this trust? How long will I be needing this person to trust me? I know this sounds very... wrong, but I can assure you that in the real world I work hard to gain trust when needed, but I feel that I am a trustworthy person anyway. I trust easily as well, and maybe in some instances I've trusted way too easily. I can't say that I haven't been burnt and have stopped trusting so easily, but at the same time I don't think it's effected me so much that I am completely solid when it comes to whom I communicate with.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
18 Oct 09
HI SCG! I am sorry for the delayed comments. Yes, it is entirely upto you that in on-line world how much trust you wish to gain, because on-line world is not like real world. Here (in on-line) the definition of 'trust' differs from the real world. It is good to know that you try your best to gain trust of others in real world and you are a trustworthy person. I can say same about myself. Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
18 Oct 09
Yes the real world vs. online is very different, but trust is still needed in both cases... I would hope people would be trustworthy online when it comes to purchases, that its the most needed type of trust.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
20 Oct 09
Yes, SCG, you are right that trustworthy persons are also needed, when they are our on-line friends. Regarding purchase, we need to be more alert.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Hi deepak! I think that trust just takes time. I do trust to a certain extent my relationships online but I also take precautions with most as to the info they have access to. As far as proving that I am trustworthy...all I can do is to be myself and hope that it comes in time.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi there! I agree with you that it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line'. I can say about you that you are trustworthy.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Thanks you deepak. I trust you too.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 09
Many thanks Jen for trusting me.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
2 Aug 09
Hello Deepak. What a great topic! I used to trust most people right at the start, but since I've been through some difficult and hurtful things with people I trusted immensely, I have learned to be more cautious. I believe that online as well as anywhere, the best way to earn trust is to BE trustworthy. Be honest, forthright, respectful, and reliable as an online friend, worker, or confidant. Earning trust often takes time and patience, but by being sincere and honest, we should not worry about it. :) Karen
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Hello Karen! It agree with you that best way to earn trust is to BE TRUSTWORTHY. I buy your argument that if one is honest, forthright and respectful it helps in gaining trust of others. I can tell you that you are trustworthy, fair, honest and very reliable and who know how to care others (including dear friends). I feel that our track record matters and I also believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others and it comes automatically with the passage of time. Thanks for enriching the post.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 09
You're welcome, my friend. Yes, our track record counts a great deal when it comes to gaining a reputation for being trustworthy. This was a great discussion on an important matter! Karen
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
27 Aug 09
Hello deepak! My husband and I met online and to tell you honestly, it takes time for me to trust him wholeheartedly. I think it took 2 years before I was able to tell that I trust him and that this man is the whom I want to be with in the future. After 3 years of chatting, we're married and now we're living together and our love to each other keeps going strong.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
18 Oct 09
Hi dear! Three years are pretty long time to gain trust. Nice to know that now you are living happily with your hubby. I am sorry for the late comments.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
3 Aug 09
I would guide people to my writings online and hopefully these would give an insight into who I am and that fact that I am an honest and decent person. I use my real name and my photo is posted in some places. I don’t always trust straight away although I do have an extra sense of some sort in regards to who I can rely on. It is a difficult one. Online it is tough to differentiate between a fake and a genuine individual.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi Paula! You appear to have adopted a wonderful system to reveal yourself to others through your on-line articles/write ups and this gives an idea about 'you' to others. Actually, it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. I can say with conviction that you are trustworthy and very honest. Thanks for enriching the post. deepak PS - I've not seen your real photo on any of the sites, would like to see it, please let me know the link.
@mikeysmom (2092)
• United States
2 Aug 09
i think just by getting to know someone and experiencing things with them you get a sense of whether or not you can trust them. also if someone talks about other people behind their backs you can be sure they talk about you too. i do not feel i have to prove myself to anyone as i know i am trustworthy so i guess they just have to make their own judgements.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
7 Aug 09
Hi there! I agree with you that it take some time to gain trust of others, specially when we are working 'on-line' and one gets a sense of it after some time and the way any person behave on-line. Yes, when one is sure that he is trustworthy, as you say you are, there is nothing to prove, it is for others to judge.
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
2 Aug 09
I an a person who is very easily cheated by others. Elders say, if you burn your fingers, you will learn a lesson. But in my case several times I have burnt but still I believe people and not learnt lesson. Service people ask for advance and the way they cut sorry figure, I take pity and give money. Then neither they will return the money nor will they come to attend to any work like plumbing, electric or even private taxi as they are afraid that they will have to return the money that is taken and it will be deducted from the charges and by attending to our house work, they will not get any money since it will be adjusted in the due amount. Even now one plumber took some loan and there is some problem at home and in spite of several phone calls, he is not coming to attend to that work. AS for as I am concerned, we cannot open our heart and show that we are trustworthy. But by our words, actions and good past history may be we can make others know about our worthiness to an extent.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
3 Aug 09
Hi there! Welcome back to my discussion. I agree with you that our consistent conduct and endevaour can make others believ that we are trustworthy. Thanks for sharing all experience with us. It feels nice to see your back.
@sweetie1026 (1723)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
All i know is that i am being honest in all of my opinions and ideas that i share here on mylot. It is up to my friends on here to believe or trust me , i know it is hard to do that on here. We are not sure if the person we make friends with on here are true or not. But i trust my intuition, when i look at a friends' profile and find satisfaction with what i find on their profile then i begin to trust them. so, i begin to make friends with them and so far, i have made quite a few friends on here whom i trust and i think, they trusts me too. That is what makes mylot a place to enjoy for me, because i get to exchange ideas and opinins with people i have never met but whom i can make a nice conversation with. Have a blessed Sunday my friend.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Hi Sweet! It means you go according to your intuition and it works for you. I can tell you that you are trustworthy, fair, honest and very reliable and who know how to care others (including dear friends). I feel that our track record matters and I also believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others and it comes automatically with the passage of time. Thanks for enriching the post.
@sherinek (3323)
• United States
1 Aug 09
Dear Deepak, I personally dont think that you have to put an effort to prove your trustworthyness. In my case, I just be myself and trust my heart and instincts. I try to be logical and practical. I do not try to get in other's way. I respect the other's view and when discussing I try to walk in the other's shoe. It may be not successful all the time, but it goes somewhere. I dont try to put my ideas first. If I feel that the other is not comfortable with me or I am not comfortable with the other, I let go smoothly. It has worked like a charm so far Deepak, so I think its a good system for me. I like to know how others feel. This is interesting discussion and hope a lot would respond. Take care.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Dear Sherinek! I buy your argument that efforts are not required to be put up for gaining someone's trust, it happened with the passage of time. It is really nice that you allow others to express and you put yourself in other's shoes. I think, this method gives you greater insight into the whole relationship issue. Also, our track record matters and I also believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others and it comes automatically. Many Thanks for enriching the post.
1 person likes this
@okn0tok (569)
• United States
1 Aug 09
I think the answer is as simple as being trustworthy. If you let your track record show this whether online or in person it will show this. As far as proving it, everyone will have their own measure of what is proof. It may take time for others that it would take take from others. I suppose you could join websites such as ehow, just answer, and so on to show that you are reliable and knowledgeable and helping others. Being an expert in something always boosts your trustworthiness.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
2 Aug 09
Hi there! What is the 'ehow' all about, would like you to explain me. I agree with you that our track record matters and I also believe that it takes some time to gain trust of others and it comes automatically with the passage of time. Thanks for enriching the post.