Would you be ashamed if you have a family member who is abnormal or authistic?

@Azaerus (821)
Philippines
August 1, 2009 4:16pm CST
I have an aunt who is epileptic and she's kind a childish..she doesn't know how to read and to write..the only thing she knows how to write is her name..my family used to take care of her because she doesn't have anybody else whom she can stay with..she doesn't have anybody else..she doesn't have siblings,the only sister that she knows is her cousin..she thought that this cousin of hers is her true sister.. Anyways,there was one time when she had an epileptic seizure she fell down the stairs which caused a big wound on her head..I had to take care of her..I pity her so much..sometimes when I'm not doing anything I teach her how to write and read,but I guess her brain couldn't handle to store more information..she forgets everything right away the next day.. We don't allow our aunt to go to the town for her sake..we are not ashamed of how she was though we just don't want her to get more wounds whenever her epilepsy strikes again.. Too bad that I have seen many families who are ashamed of their abnormal relatives..they seem not to care..most of the times I wanted to confront them and tell them that their relative didn't want this to happen to him or her,their relative have feeling too even if his or she's abnormal..it's not their fault and they didn't chose their life to be like this.. Anyways,with the question I have mentioned how will you react when you have a relative who has illness or abnormality or authism??Would you be ashamed??
2 people like this
18 responses
• India
2 Aug 09
We are not human beings with humanity if we are ashamed with our own family member who is abnormal. It is not at all their fault that they are born or have acquired such abnormility. I can understand your feelings as I too have a mentally challenged girl child who is 23 years old. I had even stated a discussion in this mylot site asking people how they would react when they see a special child in their family. Iam happy that i am a special mother becuae normal mothers have normal children whereas i am a special mom of a special child. I am also happy that god chose me to parent such a child. They just need abundance of love and should be treated like one of us. Happy mylotting.
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
2 Aug 09
I applaud you. Its beautiful what you said. Your daughter is special. :) God bless you and your family :)
• India
3 Aug 09
Hi cbeee3, thanks for your blessing. Happy mylotting.
@CRIVAS (1820)
• Canada
2 Aug 09
I personally would not be ashamed. However having said that, I am not sure if I would be able to help take care of them either. I have two children, three pets and a lot of responsibility to deal with already. I would be happy to spend time with them, take them out and have fun, but I still think that they would need someone reliable to take care of them full time. I think that anyone who is ashamed of having a special relative, should be ashamed of themselves because it just proves that they have no good in their heart. I think that it is great that you take care of her and I am sure that she appreciates all that you do for her. I am sure that there are places that you could take her in a wheelchair or something, I would definately do some research. Happy mylotting.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
I'd be glad to take my aunt for a walk in the park but unfortunately she's not staying with us anymore her cousin which she considers her true sister,took her and promised to take care of her.. I'm missing her sometimes and sometimes I'm thinking maybe she's happier with her sister.I'm happy though that she's in good hands.
@scgyzdj (18)
• China
2 Aug 09
frist , I consider you are a good man. if I have a relative who has illness or abnormanlity or authism.\ I would't ashamed. I will take good care of him or her. You must think like this,if you are a disableman.your friends and relative will how to do with you. bye
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
Thanks man,I believe that everybody has goodness within them..it's just that not everybody is brave enough to show other people. Thanks for the respond.
@robert19ph (4584)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
hello Azaerus, I don't think so. If I have a family member who is abnormal, I should show to him/her my love and concern even more. That I should protect her/him to anyone who is mean to her/him for that matter. It's not her/his fault being that way and nobody likes him/her to be like that. The best thing that I can do is to take care of her/him and understand him/her.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
Taking care of them is the only way how to work things out,being ashamed of them hurts them more mentally,physically and emotionally.Sometimes,without proper care this could even worsen their disability or abnormality.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
2 Aug 09
I would not be ashmaed if I had someone with a disablitity. Love is patient, love is kind. It sees nothing but love. If you truly love someone it shouldnt matter if they have a disability or anything else.It is time consuming, but God made us all, made us different for a reason, and Goid dont make mistakes!
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
True,showing them that you love them makes them think and feel that they're normal,means no disabilities and abnormalities.
@lazeebee (5468)
• Malaysia
2 Aug 09
Nope, why should we? They didn't asked to be born physically or mentally challenged. It is sometimes very heart-wrenching to see them, especially young children, trying to learn something or master some skills.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
SOme of us know how to deal with these kinds of situations but some just don't know how..they're just acting more abonormal than the sick person..It really is sad to see many children suffering because of their physical or mental disorder,people should know how to give each and one of them attention and care.
@busybren (258)
• United States
1 Aug 09
I find absolutely nothing about such a condition, to be ashamed of. There is no telling why these things take place in our lives, but for some reason IT JUST HAPPENED THAT WAY. You should not feel anything, but acceptance. Be grateful that the person is still with us, I say. Great question.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
Yes,be greatful indeed that we still have them on our sides..and with this also comes acceptance.. Thanks for the respond..
@kassdaw (593)
• United States
1 Aug 09
Well to answer your questions, the reaction to an illness or disorder shows a lot about a person. If your reaction involves staring, avoiding or even making fun of the person, you are a bad person. I have family members with mental illnesses, disorders, and birth defects so I see them as people and I love them very much. They need extra help with things but they shouldn't be shunned because of something they can't control and didn't even want. I could never be ashamed of anyone with any type of medical problem.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
I think they're not totally a bad person,the only problem with them is that they are embarrassed to accept the truth about the ill family member..the worst is that they cannot accept the fact that they have a family member who cannot function as a normal human being does...but there's nothing to be ashamed about here..and some just can't face the reality about that..
1 Aug 09
No i wouldnt be ashamed of them, they are still a person regardless of whatever disability that they have. I find it quite sad that people feel that way about people with disabilites. Imagine if that were your child? It would break my heart to think people thought that about them. I think the people that are "ashamed" are actually frightened because they do not know about things and not knowing about things and understanding them scares people and makes them act the way that they do.
@Azaerus (821)
• Philippines
1 Aug 09
These people who are ashamed are more abnormal when it comes to thinking.They're just not normal enough to care for those people who have disabilities.Maybe they're just afraid that when people sees them they'll tease them for having a disabled relative..though nothings wrong with having a disabled relative..I think the only thing that's wrong is how some people acts and thinks when it comes in dealing with these kinds of matters..
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Hello Azaerus, I admire you for your good deeds.It's not an easy task to take care special people/relatives.You are one of a kind,God blessed you. I won't be ashamed if i am in your situation,nobody wan't to be born in an abnormal situation,nobody even wished for.Special people needs a lot of care and special attention and we should endure lots of perseverance.This is really a hardwork for the family,so,we should not laughed to them. I really admire your courage and patience my friend
@mobhomeir (7565)
• Philippines
3 Aug 09
Honestly NOT at all, on my part. She/He is given to us by God and the blood that runs in her/his veins is ours also. She/He is part of the family what and why should I be ashamed of....Nice topic my friend..
@radx682 (327)
• India
2 Aug 09
Not at all...such people are special ones and are God's children...there is an innocence in them which is unique... We should treat them well..they do not know what is good and bad in this world...they are like angels and we should be blessed to get an opportunity to serve them...
• United States
2 Aug 09
No i would not be ashamed of them because they are still family and i would love them no matter what. No one can help what they are born like. We have a family friend who has 3 autistic children and if they go through the right courses and therapy they can live like a normal person, you can barely tell anything is wrong with her oldest son.
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
I certainly wouldn't.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
2 Aug 09
No, I would not and am not ashamed of my family members who have disabilities. In fact I am quite proud of them. None of my family members were born with disabiities but I have three family members who have become disabled through the course of their lives. One of my cousins had cancer as a child which caused her body to be disfigured (a minor thing), but she is now about to finish nursing school where she is going to work on a pediatric oncology unit. Another of my cousins was involved in an accident where he lost his leg. The third is the worst though, he was in an accident that caused him to be paralyzed from the neck down. He has continued to go through life for the past 21 years and gone to school and composes music. His mother is a retired nurse and takes care of him 24/7. He is successful in his own way and lives his life just like any other person.
@cbeee3 (2064)
• India
2 Aug 09
I am so very proud of you Azaerus.Its wonderful that you take care of your aunt and I am very happy that you have decided to voice your opinion on this topic.I do not have any relatives who have issues of this sort,but I take this topic seriously and would like to participate in it. I for one would never be ashamed of a person who has an ailment of this sort. People like this are just different from us in some way and they still deserve all the respect and love we can give them. In fact, I think they need more love and patience than us "normal" people need. When I look at people like these,only 3 things come to my mind. 1- How blessed I am, and that I should be happy for what I have. 2- These people are sweeter and more innocent than any "normal" person.One just needs to look beyond their handicap. 3-I try and see if I can help or make them happy in some way.Very small things can make them smile and I would love to make them smile. God bless you and your family, and a special *hug* from me to your aunt. :)
@selina0625 (1383)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
First of all I want to thank God because we don't have one in our family, that everyone in our family lives a normal life. Secondly I really like to say that I admire your kindness and patience towards your aunt. Your mother I'm sure is very proud of you. I can't say that I understand how you feel because I really don't ...but if ever I we do have one in our family, I will not feel ashamed of that person because as you say they have feelings too and they never wanted to be like that.
• Qatar
2 Aug 09
Hi Azaerus :) I'm really proud and I want to thank you that you have that feelings and these ideas towards sick people and ya you are absolutely right those sick people are really poor and they didn't ask for this to happen so, no I wouldn't be shamed at all if I had sick person in my family !! I have my nephew got something really strange ,even doctors don't know what the matter with him !! so, I don't know if he is really sick child or usual ,or I shouldn't even call him sick !! coz every time doctors say something different and new with his condition.Actually, he is 4 years old can't speak or walk even he his eyes sight is little bad for 4 years child " shortsightedness" , when you call him rarely respond to you by looking , his afraid of walking and really breaks my heart when I hug him coz he looks happy when I do that !!