How often do you end up in a fight with your domestic help

India
August 2, 2009 3:34am CST
Getting good domestic help is no doubt a big problem these days, with both husband and wife working My cousin has engaged a domestic help but this lady seems to be very demanding, makes her own terms and conditions, but very reliable. She never turns up in time and wants to work only 6 days a week. My cousin wants to relax on sundays but the domestic help also does not turn up on sundays making things worse for my cousin. She is really fed up with this business, and often has a fight with the helper regarding this issue. She is not able to manage between work and family, and wants to maintain both. She is badly in need of a solution to this problem Have anyone of you faced such a situation, if yes how did you overcome it? Did you leave your job for this sake?
2 people like this
10 responses
@kprofgames (3103)
• United States
2 Aug 09
I can't say I feel very sorry for a person here. I mean I worked 50 hour weeks while raising 4 children, a newborn and was pregenant again. I didn't have anyone come help me everyday with my household. My husband needed to do more, but I didn't hire anyone. Everyonce and a while, I'd pay for a neighbor girl to come over or take all the kids to the park so had a day at home alone to really go through stuff, but other then that - I cleaned, cook and took care of 7 people here without requiring extra help. I think a person if they want their house a certain way they either do it or they let things slide. Maybe eventually she and her husband will come to terms on what is important. That or maybe her husband will step up and help her out more and they can save money from paying a person to be there everyday. Do they have children? From the way this is worded they don't. If they don't have children, then, I'm sorry, but what is the problem here?
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 09
Sorry Bamboo, but as stated above her friend is having trouble maintaing a career and household at the same time. Last statement is would you leave your job. I just don't understand how important the house staying clean is over a career.
1 person likes this
• India
2 Aug 09
It Is All About Money Honey - You Pay - They Work .. But Only Sometimes .. LoL ..
I Admire you for that determination .. But here in India The Womenfolk Feel House Work is Not Easy .. Here We Don't get packed food Items .. They Have to Be cooked, Utensils Cleaned etc .. We Also Have water and electricity Problem .. Dusting of the House Has To Be done on a Regular Basis .. But I Cannot understand the difference .. Work is the Same though .. Indian Women Will Not Agree With Me .. The Maids Here Get A Officers Salary in Big Rich Households Like elsewhere .. But I Think That Does Bother Some .. As Earlier They were Much Cheaper .. Thank You ..
1 person likes this
• India
3 Aug 09
Yes, actually without children it is not a great task to manage both home and office, but there are some who cannot manage both and this one is such a case. No doubt you have been doing a great job and hats off to you that too without a help. Anyway thanks for your response have a good day.
• United States
2 Aug 09
Uh, if you are paying someone then YOU make the terms, they shouldn't have been hired without knowing what they would be doing and when they would be working. I wouldn't keep paying someone who wants to slack off, not show up and what not. Just fire them. No reason you should be paying someone to argue with you. Plenty of people out there willing to clean for money, and NOT argue. I mean, just make sure what you want done is outlined and laid out ahead of time, that way if they refuse later, they know why they are getting fired.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Aug 09
The help was engaged on terms that she will not work on sunday, but later it was found very tiring for my cousin to work on sunday when she actually wanted to relax a little bit. Just by paying money we cannot get faithful and sincere workers these days. They cannot be relied. Thanks for your response. good luck.
@srganesh (6348)
• India
2 Aug 09
It is hard to get a reliable helper now a days.But it will be frustrating if they want to work at their desired time and not available when we badly need them.Your cousin has two choices.She should try to manage things herself and ask her husband to let out a helping hand for that.Other choice is look seriously for another helper.Cheers!
• India
2 Aug 09
As you have said gettting a domestic help nowadays is a boon in disguise. You are fed up by the time you get one. These days like other employees even they ask for holidays and leave on Sundays. After the hectic week we are forced to work on sunday with other househols chores. Most of the times they are a pain in the neck but we have to deal with such peole with prudence. So befriend your maid and make her work for you while chatting with her about her household affairs. They are happy when you get to their personal matters and after all you are not losing anything by sparing some time for them.
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
3 Aug 09
I can understand the dificulties of your cousin.I am staying at home and have always been a freelancing homemaker. However, I cannot survive without domestic help because , I do all other work at home singlehandedly.I relocated to this big city three years ago and for the past one year I have had no good experience with servants.Today, one has suddenly discontinued from service. I normally am very courteous to them but this place is teaching me a few lessons.Let your cousin get rid of the present one and keep another one.Let the second one last as long as she can.THat is all.We have to take them and leave them as they come.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
3 Aug 09
You have also said that the servant is reliable.If she is going to choose the time when she comes it is not possible for a working woman to manage.THe weekly holiday can be reduced to two days per month and your cousin has to manage if she is totally reliable and honest.But the erratic arrival cannot be put up with .
@divkris (1163)
• India
3 Aug 09
I think once every week when she feels she needs to take off (every week) with a very lousy work, cleaning the house. I think your cousin should just threaten her saying that if he/she continues to behave the same way he/she will have to leave the job as she (your cousin) has another great person to replace the maid. As you said it is very difficult to handle and also get hold of domestic helps now a day and people just tolerate thier tantrums :S
@daliaj (5689)
• India
3 Aug 09
I live in a hostel so I don't know much about these problems. The cook at hostel is a very nice lady, she cooks food on time and even compell me to have it (I was on diet, but fascinated by her dishes, and the diet is on hold for a whle Lol.) The maid who does laundry for me in hostel does a pretty good job. The only problem I am having currently from a helper is my driver. He is the who drops me in office and picks me up from office daily. Somtimes he won't come for work without notice. Most of the time he is sick (he says, I don't know what the truth is) and sometimes he say there is a probem with the vehicle.
@radx682 (327)
• India
2 Aug 09
Maids are very demanding now a days...My maid came late in the morning (12 pm)...I just asked her why she was late and I kept waiting for her...she at once showed an angry face and said that "if you want to emply another maid...you can go ahead...I cannot come early for these few days"...I was soo angry and I also shouted back at her saying that I don't need her and she can leave in a month's time till I find another maid...She agreed. But as month end was approaching...I was scared that she ll leave in a few days...as I have no maids around...so I politely asked her if she has plans to continue working here..she said she will continue to come...I was so relieved.. From that time, I decided that we should be little polite to them to get things done...because we ultimately suffer if the maids stop coming...
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
2 Aug 09
If ther person is being paid, then they should be doing their job. Things like how many days a week they come, etc., should be agreed to at the beginning and then followed through on. I think it's reasonable for a helper to say that they want one day of the week off - it sounds like your cousin is expecting this person to work 7 days a week, and in my country, this would be excessive. But the helper should be arriving at work on time and doing their best to complete their duties.
@jaizhi (260)
• Philippines
2 Aug 09
MY mom had a fight with one of our domestic helper. She is an all around helper. But when my mom is away she would lock my brothers and sisters in the terreces of our house and she would bring me at the neighboors and leave me there so she can go out and chat with her boyfriend. SHe treathens my brothers and sisters that if we tell our parents she will poison them. Since we were still young we easily get scared. One day my mom came home early and saw me on the street with the neighboor... and also saw my brothers and sisters in the terrece sleeping while it is raining (there is no roof). My mom was so mad she even sue the maid. Since then my mom decided to just stay home and never work outside again till we can all manage on our own.