Kids of Divorced Parents

@laydee (12814)
Philippines
August 3, 2009 8:45pm CST
I don't really mean to pry, but with all the divorce going on around the world, what is it's real impact on the kids? Have your parents divorced? Have you yourself divorced? What are the implications of such situations to you and your life. Do you feel there's a true impact? or are you just like 'everyone else'?
6 responses
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
5 Aug 09
My parents divorced when I was just 5. It really was hard, in fact I went through counceling b/c of it. The hardest part is being torn between two ppl that you love. Even now, I'm 41, and I'm still in that spot. My parents live in seperate states so I can't spend time with both of them. I'm closer to my Mom but I still miss seeing my Dad. Parents really need to think about what's best for the kid and not just for them. Even if a divorce is the only option they should do everything they can to make sure that the kids get to be involved with both parents and not just one. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
5 Aug 09
Oh it's really sad how two people's decisions could really tear apart another, and usually a helpless one - a child.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
5 Aug 09
I think a lot of parents spend more time thinking about what they want and not what's best for the kid. I know that some couples are better off divorced but that doesn't mean that they both can't still be a parent and be there for their kid. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug 09
My mother and father never were married, but they had a standing relationship with each other that was never really civil. It was really hard growing up my life without having both parental figures in the household, and I think the same would hold true if it were a divorced family. In fact I believe it would be even harder for the child because they would know that yes mommy and daddy did love each other but now they don't, and for most of their lives having both parental figures in the house. But I believe if the parents can maintain a civil relationship with each other then the children will not have as horrible of an impact farther on in life. When a child witnesses what has gone on if in fact it is truly a rocky divorce, that can leave some mental trauma. It can also lead the child into bad relationships them self, especially if the parents never got along in the first place while the child was around. Furthermore if you are one of those parents that are considering getting a divorce please maintain a civil relationship around your child, just out of respect for the child, and their welfare
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
6 Aug 09
This is entirely true, it's even devastating for us adults when we find out that our partners no longer loved us, how much more for the child who didn't choose to have their parents, right? Indeed it's traumatic. I do hope more of us would think first before jumping into a marriage or a relationship per se.
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I'm a college student, I'm not married and divorced and my parents are not divorced either but I believed that there is a true impact on kids of divorced parents. Having a family with my parents as one is what I am very thankful of to my mother and to my father and to their strong love to each other, to their continuous faith in God and for taking care to us their children as long as they live. Imagine with seeing and feeling your parents separated from each other. I know as a child, we'll feel lonely and wonder why. Parents have the responsibility to guide their children to be a better person as they grow older. I think common impact on kids with divorced parents is growing up with emptiness of a father's or mother's love could lead these kids to do something not appropriate when they began to search of it.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Hmmm.. Perhaps these kids would have a certain 'trauma' of attaching themselves too much in fear that the things that had happened to their parents would also happen to them? I could remember how many times my mom would tell me that when she was little, she'd always see her parents fight because of her dad's womanizing. She had pledged never to fall in love nor get married. But eventually she did, and she was truly afraid that these things would happen to her again.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
Hello laydee, Divorced/separation is not good if just being use to escape all relationship.Getting divorce i guess had all reasons for choosing it rather than continuing to live together. For couples,most cases were,the incompatibility that causes arguments,financial status that leads into more arguments,cheating,falling out of love for many reasons.To many,it's not good,especially the society,it can be a gossips.But for the concerns,divorce is the best remedy to give them peace and air to breath. For kids,of course it's hard for the,confusions,hurts...but when they grow up,they will surely understood why it happened.This matter should be discussed with care to kids so they will not hate any of their parents.Most kids understand such situations when they witness the mother suffering,and crying,so,it is badly needed to be explained to them the soonest possible. I am not against any divorce nor i am advising this as a remedy,but,it's hard to judge why there are lot's of broken homes and families.There is always a big reason why this things happened.Only those concerns knows what is better for them. Have a good day always
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
True, we all have our reasons, and perhaps these reasons are valid. But in general, do you think divorces has done something bad to the kids? or is it not just divorce that makes these kids wilder.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
4 Aug 09
I was not married, but I just got out of a 5 year relationship a few days ago. He and I have a 4 year old son together. This is the 2nd time we have split. The first time, my son was so much happier, probably happier than I had ever seen him. The relationship was an abusive one...physical and mental. He didnt physically abuseour son. I think it does have an impact on the children. Kids need both parents. But as with my situation, sometimes the kids will be better off if you are not together. If I were with him I wouldn't be the mother or person I want to be.
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@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
4 Aug 09
I guess if that's the case (he's physically or emotionally abusing you) and your son or kid fully understands these things and he's rather than you'd separate, it could have some good impact (separation). I think we'll have some problems if the child doesn't understand why the family shouldn't be together.
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
6 Aug 09
My parents divorce was one of the hardest things I've ever dealt with in my life. My dad made it hell for everyone. My sister was 4 at the time and she ended up developing phobias afterwards relating to the divorce. I was in middle school and my mom and dad ended up dragging me in the middle of a lot of fights. I didn't really have the same problems my sister did, but it made me a stronger person. I don't mean that in some kind of cliche way, but I realized at a young age that I was the backbone of my family along with my grandma and even now it puts a lot on my shoulders and causes a lot of stress. My dad had an affair and didn't really bother hiding it from us. My dad became mentally abusive to my mom and I and physically abusive to my sister. Everyone involved suffered in some way because my dad is just a horrible person. My sister and I don't even have a relationship with him because he's done things, even recently, that I could never fully describe here with just words. There is defintiely a true impact in many divorce situations.