Excuses

@MoonGypsy (4613)
United States
August 6, 2009 3:36pm CST
i hate it when people make up excuses, and act like their intentions are everything other than what they are not telling you. for example, my boyfriend just made new friends upstairs that he could smoke and drink with. he says that it is not about that, but he doesn't want to be bothered with them when they don't have drink or smoke. what infuriates me is when he makes excuses for just having to go upstairs. if i come up with some reason that's good enough for him not to go, he automatically has a way out. lol. this is really making mad. no, i can't talk to him about it. in fact, i can't talk to him about anything that he will disagree with, or else their will be an automatic argument. what i hate the most is that he takes the fact that i am anti social, and uses it against me to make "friends", and have a good time with out me. he says that i am always invited, but that's as real as his relationship with these friends of his. lol. when people say that, "well, you WERE invited". they don't really mean it. in fact, they are banking on the fact that you won't take them up on the offer. and he knows that i won't. therefore, it bothers me even more. i just had to vent this out. it is going to be bad for him when he walks in the door, but probably not as bad if i get some of it off my chest.
4 responses
• United States
24 Nov 09
Hello moomgypsy, I am not trying to be mean or hurtful but to be perfectly honest with you, this doesn't sound like a relationship that you should be trying to fix and build. I have no idea what your situation is with him and how often this sort of thing goes on and maybe some people will jump all over me for saying not too spend more time trying to fix it but it sounds to me like you become second to his good times. I will tell you, I was in a relationship when I was younger close to what your going through. I never really thought anything of it and then throughout time I realized that I was what I called myself as a house girlfriend because i never seemed good enough to take out when he was with his friends. And it was that same if I were to mention anything about what he was doing or anything even close to that he would get mad and always say nothing and if I cared I would go with him and I would say I was invited and same excuses but the only thing was with my ex the friend he hung out with had a car that only had two bucket seats so if I was invited where was I to sit??? I guess I am basing my response off of my old relationship but I would just be careful because a lot of the things you are taking about don't sound that good and when you are in a relationship most of the time you are trying to build a future together and you just have to think do you want to this to be your future? If you can't express yourself and talk to him know are you ever going to be able to? I would just be careful, it sounds very suspicious to me..I wish you the best.
• United States
24 Nov 09
This advice is pretty good.
• United States
6 Aug 09
I would keep an eye on your boyfriend. Maybe there is more going on than meets the eye. Its really pathetic that he would use something like not being social against you but it just shows how weak minded he is. I would say he probably is losing interest in you if he does not want to be around you. Perhaps you should start preparing yourself for a breakup. You should start organizing your things or if where you live is your place then just put your boyfriends stuff in one place. Then the rest would be up to you. But give this some thinking maybe he just needs to spend some time away to "hang out with the guys" and talk about guy things. But if its really obvious that he doesnt want anything to do with you then dont stay with this person as you will just get hurt later on worst than if you ended it now.
@MoonGypsy (4613)
• United States
6 Aug 09
no, he couldn't care less about talking about "guy stuff" he is only using them for what they have. i know it for a fact. his whole family is like that.
• United States
24 Nov 09
MoonGypsy, I think we might be sisters..lol. This is my exact problem sometimes. I am getting tired of this too. How long have you been dealing with this?
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
25 Sep 09
Hey, Yes many people try and make up excuses, but in actual fact, the reason that they have provided us with, isn't really good enough. I hate it when people do it, but most of the time I try not to make up excuses where possible. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!