I have been crying these past few days.. I suddenly felt so alone..

@iskayz (5422)
Philippines
August 7, 2009 3:08am CST
Yeah, that’s true.. I don’t know why. I would suddenly find myself staring at nothing then I will feel something deep inside me, I can’t explain what it is and I would just feel like crying. Often times at nights I can’t sleep. I kept thinking how lonely my life is and suddenly I just felt so alone and then I’ll cry myself to sleep. These past few weeks I kept imagining how it is to get married. I would over and over again watch movies about relationships, about boyfriends and girlfriends. Movies like Maid in Manhattan and Monster in Law, movies that makes me feel shudder or flurry inside. Then my exes would cross my mind and I find myself asking, am I destined to be alone? This is just the first time these things happened to me. I am quite confused why I’m feeling this way. Am I starting to feel that I’m hoping and longing for someone in my life? I am still single and it’s been more than 10 years since my last relationship. I’m in my mid-30s already and I’m not expecting to have a relationship anymore. I know I’m not afraid to be single all my life but why am I suddenly feeling so alone?
7 people like this
25 responses
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
what can i say iskayz... except that sometimes this things just happen... you'll suddenly feel the emptiness... you'll want to cry even if you didn't really intend to... tears will just fall, smiles will droop and sounds will feel muted and you'll turn quiet and be silenced by the quietness of it all. i did feel that last wednesday night. and i thought of my ex too. the only difference is that my pain was still raw and quite so new compared to yours but it spells the same pain still. i haven't broken it off with my boyfriend yet but we have drifted apart already in the last few months so it feels like i don't have a boyfriend right now technically... if not officially. i also asked myself what the heck i was waiting for... anyways, i am moving on. and so should you. i don't plan to be single coz i wanted to get married and have a family of my own. it's not wrong to want someone in our life... but that pursuit i leave to fate. if it's meant to be it shall be done. the feeling of sadness and being alone, don't worry it's just a passing moment. like any happy or sad moment in our life, that too shall pass. right now, instead of wallowing... do the things you want to do and enjoy life. do something you haven't done yet and make new friends. somewhere down the road your path will cross with someone and you'll make a beautiful love story much better than the last one you had. it may not be like the movie flicks you watched, but a love story just the same. wish you the best!
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Thanks a lot myles.. It somehow felt a little better thinking that someday I'll make a beautiful love story of my own. Yeah, maybe someday my prince will come when I least most expect it. I'm not looking for someone at the moment, well maybe I am, I'm not really sure but you're right, I'll better leave that pursuit to fate. Happy posting!
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
i come from a big family and i'm often surrounded with kids as well as friends. i'm fortunate in that aspect because i can laugh a lot and do activities with them... especially with my nephews and nieces. in times like this, you need to find the things that can make you smile. sure, sometimes we will feel sad and lonely during the nights when we are alone... that's why i spend it with friends old and new, who make me smile and laugh and sometimes... forget. take up a hobby, do something worthwhile, and do something you enjoy and will make you feel good. mylotting sometimes does that to me and i enjoy it here. i also get to meet new friends.
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Oh that's nice that you have a lot nieces and nephews. My family is big too. I have lots of relatives but they're all grown up now. I only have one nephew and my cousin's kids well, I seldom see them. I also love to mylot. But there are times when I feel like this, lonely, it's like I don't want to talk to anyone, so I seldom go online. I have a hobby, cross stitch. I also have pets that keep me company. My friends live far and so is my family and so basically I am alone always. That's why I guess I suddenly felt like I needed someone.
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Awwwww! *Hug* I Know exactly how you feel! I've been single for my whole life. truth im 16 not 30 something and it doesnt bother me really only sometimes when I see my friends with guys and im like eehh great. But I know wat u mean bout the lonely thing, except for me its cuz i dont have too many close friends so tats y i feel lonely a loot of the time and sad a lot. And aww tats sad. but just hold on in there! Don't let it control u too much. when ur single u get to flirt with anyone u want and not have to worry about ur boyfriend or anything. But just try to be a little bit more daring when you flirt i would say. Maybe change up your hair and clothes to something newer and different. often a change in hair and clothing and makeup transforms a person and it can make you seem so much younger and freer instead of stuck in the same old thing over and over. :D good luck!
2 people like this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Wigima you give out great advice, I might even have to change up my hairstyle a bit because you are speaking true words to the our sister, God bless!
1 person likes this
@wigima5 (908)
• United States
8 Aug 09
glad to help. :) and i read ur response too, and it was very good as well. :)
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Ooww thanks a lot for the hugs.. I needed that.. And flirting? Sigh.. that's one thing I don't know how to. I don't know how to find and don't know where to start. I'm the type who just waits and I guess that's why I'm gonna turn into an old maid.
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
7 Aug 09
At 50 and single, I can afford to say it is not as bad to be alone as everybody portrays. In fact, it is scary to think of several chores that line up in a relationship, transforming the human in me into some automaton. I take pleasure in getting up late, and leaving things as they are, or keeping my home as clean as it can get. I spend hours enjoying bath, and can afford to splurge on everything I desire be it a nice dress, or a nice big cake. I am not scared to be obese. I have nothing to lose. I am not scared of being dumped for somebody better than me. And as far as old age is concerned, there are ample friends who can take turns, and end up waiting for another 3 years for their next turn. And of course, there is Internet, which also gives me money! hopefully!. That does not mean you will not get any relationship at your age. You will. The last time I enjoyed one was as late as 45. So enjoy while they last, and accept your nature. If you can adjust to all the drudgery, by all means get into what everybody does. Else enjoy life with a difference. It is not bad and this is a first hand experience.
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hehe you made me smile vandana.. Yeah, being single means freedom on everything. I also love the fact that I can wake up whatever time I want to. But I'm just curious, haven't you felt lonely at some point in your life?
@vandana7 (66851)
• India
10 Aug 09
From where I come, we have a maid coming in the morning. And when I go out, the watchman and his family invariably greet me, and have a few words to spare. The grocer is friendly (he gets good business), the baker and me we share a passion for collecting coins so we always have some news to share, and the vegetable vendor - she is always giving me recipes some of which I try and fail. I have friends who send me so many forwards that invariably I smile at least once a day. I used to work so I have colleagues who are all still in touch with me. I have a few friends with whom I go to temple to wash my sins, and I love reading jokes. I am crazy about music. I sing reasonably well, and my maid also enjoys listening to my screeching :-). Whenever my father is around he stuffs cotton in his ears, forcing me to sing still louder. There are however moments when I have been hurt. People have asked me to take the responsibilities of their children as they feel I have too much to splurge - especially after 40. These perhaps are the only few moments when I felt I should have had a child. Ironically, these are also the moments when I felt - well, if isn't she finding it a burden now - and so I am better off. But please, dont let me influence u. My life is different - my thinking is different. I am happy this way. I truly love being independent. Ur nature might be different. I just wanted to say well - even if u miss the bus, the station where u r is quite pleasant if u care to notice it. That is all. And before I forget, let me thank u for asking me to be ur friend, I am honored. :-)
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
I like the way you described you everyday life. I think it's interesting. From the moment you walk out the door there is something that always makes you smile. I'd say you've got a friendly neighborhood there. I also love being independent. That's why I chose to live alone here in my hometown. This sudden loneliness and feeling of being alone just came and bothered me so much that it made me cry at nights. I guess that's whats different between us. From what I see, I think you're taking life lightly with happy thoughts when I'm having mine as though it's like a problem. Maybe I needed to change how I would handle life this time to make things better even when they're worse.
• United States
7 Aug 09
i feel alone all the time dont really have much friends to go hangout with cause everyone is so busy with school and work. sucks being me i guess with everyone doing things without me just stuck at home with nothing to do. life is not good for everyone. some good and some bad different for everyone i guess.
• United States
8 Aug 09
Try to fill your time up with some busy work. Sometimes getting your mind off things will be great. Get back into school or do something active. Pick up some hobbies that you can enjoy. Sometime the world won't wait for you. You'll just have to pick yourself up and figure out fun and exciting things to do in the mean time until your friends become available. They can't stop moving the world just because you don't want to spin it. God bless
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hi azn and doggy.. I don't have much friends either. My friends live far out of town and so we very seldom have time to go out and chit-chat. And why is it that if you're feeling lonely, people always say to go and hang out with friends. I do that sometimes, but when you're home nothing changes, I am still lonely and alone.
@ivan2000bd (1010)
• Sweden
10 Aug 09
AFTER going through your message i am feeling very sorry for you. i know how hard to stay alone. i have passed five years of my life but i didnt lose hope. but i will give you a suggestion and that is to go back to your familly and spend some more time with your parents. you will feel better. and find some friend either familiar or some one from the net and try to be good with them i am sure you will solve yoour problem very soon.
2 people like this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
10 Aug 09
It is the situation most people feel at times in life.I think you are making youself more sad by thinking so much. It will be better if you can just take away thinking from that line. engage in activities that you like to do.
2 people like this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hi subha.. I will try to organize a picnic with my family and relatives hoping that it would keep me busy for awhile. I'm also planning to get a new puppy. Having a new puppy can get my mind thinking of other things. Besides, I know a new puppy can make me smile.
2 people like this
@doggyhouz (548)
• United States
8 Aug 09
That isn't a good sign. I hope this hasn't last for a long period of time. Depression isn't very good. Try to go out and hang out with some friends and take your mind off things. Or maybe go out and try to find a nice girl to get to know. Take some risk in your life, not life threaten ones. But try to enjoy some time with some fun. Mix it up a little. Usually we have to face obstacles in life. Especially when you plan to get somewhere and while getting there boulders fall into place. The more obstacles the better the glory. It is taste even better and you'll be even more better at that skills because you've faced more obstacles along the way to achieve higher standards. Just feel good about yourself. Find a calm place and a good hearted individual. God bless
2 people like this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
I haven't taken a risk in my life yet especially in relationships. Maybe that's why I have let a few good men pass by without me even trying to see how it would feel to have them. Suddenly I felt regret to have not taken those chances.
2 people like this
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
oh, i can relate to your story now lol.. though i have boyfriend. im on my early 30's and whenever we have a little fight with my boyfriend i cant help it but cry specially upon going to bed thinking if im destined to be alone and its so sad to think that at my age. yet, there no one beside me and i feel so all alone. I didnt watch love story movie or any movie that one of the main character die at the end. most of the time i watch comedy.. that will make me happy and forgot about my sadness even just for temporary.
2 people like this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hi homeshoppers.. Love quarrels do happens in a relationship, but at least you still have someone, officially. And that you have a greater chance to get married someday. Not like me, no one at the moment so it's a blurry future for me. I'll try to watch a comedy for a change. Maybe it will help to lighten up my days a bit. Happy posting!
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (35522)
• United States
13 Aug 09
These are natural feelings that everyone has, and even with those of us who are married there are times I feel alone as well. All I can say is maybe it is time to find some things you enjoy doing and find ways to go do these. Find time to even get out a little more and explore. You never know who you could meet and might help your outlook on life as well. As for not wanting to be alone and wish you were married, if you are a Praying person and believe in Gods will it is really all up to him. There is still plenty of time for you to find that special someone. You just need to be open to meeting them when they are supposed to be appearing in your life as well.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
13 Aug 09
Hi!I have been thinking what other things can I do. I mean I have other hobbies like cross stitching but I feel I could be doing the same things over and over again. Can you suggest other things that I could do? I know we don't have the same interests but maybe I could try what you can suggest.
1 person likes this
• India
8 Aug 09
I also face the alone mind complex that u have been into recently.Only the difference is that of the time.I have been in this for past 10 years as I have no friends to rely on and this lone complex has now just got into my head.That is why I am here on Mylot to have some opinion expressed and get my self a bit relieved .
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Yes.. Being able to share your feelings here in mylot is a relief. And knowing that there a lot who have felt this way somehow and they're still ok, gives me the encouragement to make myself feel better. Happy posting!
1 person likes this
@glambank (221)
• United States
8 Aug 09
Yes, your not alone. I have had similar experiences. The best solution for me is to talk to someone about my problem or better yet listen to their problem. However if the problem persist you may need to seek professional help.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Listen to others' problems? That's strange.. In my situation I don't think I can do that. Well not until I'm feeling ok myself. Maybe I'd rather seek professional help.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
If you would dwell to much on those negative aspects of your life, especially about the issue of loneliness, then you will be causing much loneliness to yourself. . . Do something productive to make your mind working and busy with other things. . .
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hi doris.. I'm trying very hard not to think about this loneliness. I'm keeping myself busy with other things. I cooked, watched TV, listened to music, visited my relatives and tend to my pets already. But sometimes, loneliness just comes and I suddenly feel it. Making me stop from whatever I am doing. I guess it's not just in my mind that I am lonely, but it's in my heart..
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
8 Aug 09
We all get this way. It is apart of life at times. Dealing with the difficult crappy stuff and trying to get through it can be difficult. I am married and there are times I feel alone. My husband has not done anything wrong. It is just how I feel at times.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Well that's kinda different. You have someone with you all the time and yet you still feel alone sometimes? Why is that? Does that mean that we doesn't necessarily need someone in our lives so as not to feel alone?
1 person likes this
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
hi iskayz! I'm 30 too and I am not yet married (im a single mom), nor even thinking about jumping into any relationship for now...that's because I'm so busy with my responsibilities, and I like to keep it that way... I do feel lonely sometimes too,,, adn you know, if you nurse that feeling, the more you'll get depressed. better keep yourself busy and not entertain any negative or depressing thoughts... fix your eyes on your goals, and one day, good things will come unexpectaedly, that might include your prince charming!=)
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Oh so you're a single mom. How old is your kid? I'm glad that you have someone. At least you have someone who will grow up with you for a long time. My prince charming? Well, hopefully someday I'll be a princess whom my prince will search for.
1 person likes this
@lynettebyc (2416)
• China
7 Aug 09
Hello, iskayz, sorry for your sorrow. Relationship needs efforts from both part, so why not go out and have some fun with your friends (male and female), maybe you will meet your Mr. or Ms.Right some time unexpectedly. Relationship has nothing to do with your ages. I doesn't mean that you have to find some one who will accompany you for the rest of life when you're young. You meet and then that's the time. Do be frustrated, believe in yourself and others, give yourself a chance and try to love others and yourselves. I'm sure you will find someone. Besides, you're not alone, you've got lots of friends, And Your PARENTS, Families, they won't let you lonely. Hope this will help you. Looking forward to your smile. Good luck.
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Thank you for hopes lynette.. I have not fully recovered yet but I'm trying.
@Graceekwenx (3163)
• Philippines
7 Aug 09
Hey! i have the same feeling! I am turning 34 this year and i dont have a boyfriend too! Blues! It sucks all the more when you got nothing to do, nothing to get excited about and nothing to look forward to. This happens most especially during holidays when you see people all smiling and you think... what are they so happy about!? what on earth is wrong and why am i so grumpy?! It would be a lie if i say that i am not panicking to think that my age is the marrying stage. It would help if you exercise often as this would help release happy hormones. Keep a wholesome social life, like go out with people who shares the same interests as you. Dont be alone. I am not a religious person but it would be a very good help if you pray often for strength and hope that what you are feeling right now is sure to pass. Believe also that you are meant for something else. I am not an expert in warding depressions away... I sure do hope that i was able to help. Hang on.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Yeah I feel the same when I see people with loved ones walking together so sweetly.. I can't help but wish that I'm walking with someone too.. I kinda envy those people who have someone in their lives. I never had too many relationships in my life. Sometimes I feel I am unlucky in love even when most at times I would suggest others not to feel lonely without someone. But I am feeling it right now. You said to believe that I am meant for something else. Actually, I have been praying to give me signs what He wanted me to be and hopes that He answers me soon cause I really feel I need to know where and what should I be.
• United States
7 Aug 09
It's alright. Everyone gets that feeling. When nothing is happening in our lives, no change, nothing especially bad or especially good, when everything is still, we feel alone. No matter the age, everyone feels alone. Sometimes it passes by itself but sometimes you have to get yourself out of it. Try calling a family member or even more nontraditionally, a good song from youtube. Experts have said chocolate and ice cream makes you happy too. I hope it helps. Good Luck.
1 person likes this
@iskayz (5422)
• Philippines
10 Aug 09
Hi anime.. Yeah, I think my life is so still.. I can't remember how long my life has been like this. My family lives far from me. Actually, I have just came home after 6 months of staying with them. Yeah, it's kinda nice to be with them but I'm used to living independently with just my puppies with me. Ice creams and chocolates. I didn't know eating those can make a person happy. Maybe I'll have some today.
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
8 Aug 09
Sometimes we want to be alone, though it's sad to be. We know, though all the reasons why but we preferred to cry. At the end of the day we need a family so maybe while there's still enough time for us to enjoy life we must take the oppurtunities to do so. Mingle with friends, attend occassions and meet new ones, pray to God to give you someone who'll be your inspiration, someone deserving of your love and someone who may give you the happiness you're longing for.
• China
8 Aug 09
hi,iskayz. Do not worry.To tell you the truth, most of people had the kind of feeling once.I dont know others how to face this problem.But when it comes to me, i would go out and enjoy the beautiful nature or talk to my friends.Just keep yourself busy,and you will overcome it. Be positive!
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
7 Aug 09
Been crying for the past few days........... Hello ISakayz, sorry to hear that you are feeling so bad. It just sounds to me as if you are going through some growing pains. Are you happy with your work? Usually that's something that will take your mind off of people. I feel the same way sometimes too and I know that it's a good time to get out the house if I start feeling like that. Maybe you should think of a short trip that you could take so that you would not have to be alone. While some alone time is actually good for us. You need to make sure that you are not spending too much time alone. Since you are still young, I"m sure that you will have no trouble meeting up with someone else that will some day make you an acceptable partner. So don't worry about the future because the future will take care of it itself. You simply need to focus right now on trying to make yourself happy. A good thing to do whenever you are feeling really bad about your life, is to try doing some kind of volunteer work, that too will get your mind off of self. I will surely be keeping you in my prayers dear, now cheer up and put a smile on your face. You are loved by more than you realize. Happy mylot!