do feel that manners are a thing of the past?

@mama_bear (1124)
Canada
August 13, 2009 11:50pm CST
i seem to remember, well actually that is not true, i seem to recall from watching those black and white movies that there was a time when manners were the norm. now it seems like a thing of the past. i for one find manners very sexy in a man, and that is one of the things that are liable to draw me to one. it is always shocking for me to encounter anyone with manners. by this i mean someone who is walking through a door ahead of you holding it open for you, whether you are heavily laden or not. those who give chairs to the elderly and people with children. all kinds of things. it just seems like in this fast paced world that we live in no one seems to care about common decency towards others. making noise for neighbors, carrying on to all hours, being confrontational when being asked to keep the noise down. just little things, the world has become a scary place since cary grant last graced the silver screen. i am nostalgic for a different time, when there were gentlemen and ladies. i guess i am old fashioned that way.
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
15 Aug 09
I am only 21 years old, married, and have two children, but I desperately crave for the old fashioned ways. I am very "new school" but my lifestyle is very old school and new school, and I was brought up with manners and to treat others how you want to be treated, and all that stuff. I am nervous that my children wont grow up that way, because of the way society is these days! Most of the people I know are so self-centered, arrogant, mean, and selfish greedy people ever, and wouldn't lift a finger to hold a door open for a pregnant woman. Cmon now, what has our world become? What is it going to be like in 10 years?... Scary.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Aug 09
you sound like a very intelligent young lady,keep on feeling that way and teach your children,they will 'remember what you taught them and will have good manners too,kids tend to imitate their mom.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
19 Aug 09
i am all about the old skool. oh my and three piece suits on a man. but i digress. you know what, i was watching mad men the other night and even the way they dressed to work back in the day. i mean women's voices were not really heard but they were expected to behave certain way, and work and the workplace were taken seriously. that is so not the case no. i totally out those who do not give their seats to old, disable or pregnant women, if you sit in those priority seats it is with the understanding that you will give them up if need be, when i am on the bus i shame them into giving the seat up!
@kcoregon (303)
• United States
15 Aug 09
You seem to share my feelings for this subject. I have always been taught and have taught my children to use manners, as it is important in life. And more times than not your manners can get you somewhere in life. Recently when I took my daughters out to eat my daughter held the door open for two people who were leaving. To my shock and amazement they walked through the door and looked as if they were entitled to having the door being held open for them. There was no thank you or even any kind of a smile or kind gesture. So it's not only a problem with people not holding the door but of people who do not say thank you when you do something nice like this for them. Especially to a child who went out of her way to hold the door open for you and her mother standing there holding her toddler letting you go through the door first. I just had a conversation about this with a friend of mine whose granddaughter was not taught about manners. She told me about how she taught manners to her children and how important it was in her house. But her granddaughter doesn't seem to have manners. She told me how happy she was to see my daughters use their manners and likes it when they come and play and help show her granddaughter the importance of manners. Manners aren't hard to use and they always seem to make for more pleasant conversation and interactions with other people. It amazes me that people can't see this and choose to live without them.
1 person likes this
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
19 Aug 09
see that really burns me because in spite of the fact that you have taught your daughters manners, at that point they did not see the benefit of good manners, i mean how hard is it to say thank you? i always say please and thank you, all the time and have a nice day. it warms my heart to see someone light up because some random stranger said that to them. the world would be a better place if more people had manners. like the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey. even when i am dealing with customer services and they are being difficult with me, i a still well mannered and will even ask politely to speak to their superior, and whenever i am speaking to someone who is being rude to me, i will give them warning that i am going to hang up if they continue in the same vein.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
14 Aug 09
I so agree with you. I think the young people of today for the most part are in their own little world and only care about themselves. They have the phone to their ear or in their hand texting away oblivious to what is going on around them. What has happened I think is that there are more people being raised without manners and or forget what they were taught when they were younger. Parents want to be friends instead of parents. I also believe the reason for this behavior is because both parents would have to go to work and the kids were left to fend for themselves. This is why I believe society has gone haywire.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
14 Aug 09
i am always so impressed when i encounter someone with manners, in all honesty though i do not really see the need for bad manners even when someone is being rude to me. the unfortunate thing is because of my appearance some people automatically assume that i am a certain way and cop an attitude with me. but yes i am the black clad somewhat formidable looking metalhead with the "scary boots" that look like a cross between an armored vehicle and footwear, yes i am the one who in the winter will help that little old lady off the bus, and walk her to her door so that she does not slip on the ice. i help people that i do not know with the shopping bags and all that. i will not sink to the level of all those other mannerless people, i shall soldier on even if it is just little old me in the thick of it all.
2 people like this
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
15 Aug 09
Hello mama bear. It's not right for people to judge you based on your looks. I'm frustrated with so many people because many of them are "mindless herds" who just go with the flow of society. They conform because that's what society dictates. I think it's pathetic.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
16 Aug 09
i agree about passing judgement, i mean i guess that it is human nature to judge on appearance and whatnot. i try not to do that or be obviously rude to people, i mean with some their appearance is pretty much what you see is what you get.
@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
15 Aug 09
manners what are they??? it's fast becoming a thing of the past. i make sure kids say please and thankyou when they get something of me. back in many of our parents day you would have gotten your but kicked if you were rude to an elder, but now it's who cares. my mum was sorta strict on us but nothing that wasn't for our own good. so i'm sorta the same with my son so he doesn't become a rude child. it was funny to see, i've been with work with my work mate for 5 yrs but we've never been in public together.he can be very point blank, and rude at times, and that's what i've mainly seen of him. but he'll then do things for me at work, i get a bit frustrated with him cause he will do something making me feel a bit less. it's annoying when he does some things cause i can do it. then he got dobed in to help do something with the boss and i was helping to. it was different seeing him all dressed up and acting like a gent. my mum is rotten for getting me to help, but i'm happy to do it. so there are still some people out there that are willing to help others, and show some manners. just wish there were more.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
19 Aug 09
ha ha yeah i am usually horrified by bad manners particularly when exhibited by my friends or people i know, it is very embarassing for me. but i do tell people about themselves if they are being rude.we definitely need more mannered people, that old fashioned courtly behavior. i mean i am a pretty modern forward thinking female, but i do have my old fashioned side. i am nostalgic for a time that i never really ever experienced. guess those old movies completely ruined me for life in the real world.
• United States
15 Aug 09
Very much so! I am always finding people to be very rude, especially on the road. Drivers are not as courteous as I would like to see them being. I also find that people dont say thank you when you open the door for them. Generally, lots of people now expect everyone else to bow to them ...
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
19 Aug 09
yeah even front line personnel at establishments, it is like they cannot wait to brush you off so that they can continue texting or talking on the phone. so rude, and it is not just limited to young people, the older people are doing it too.
• United States
15 Aug 09
I was taught that manners were a very important thing in life. I'm pretty old-fashioned also. I always think that manners also somewhat "attracted" girls. Honestly, what girl would want a rude guy? If he's ugly and really nice, he at least has a good aspect about him. If that guy changed his look, girls would fall in love. Girls like funny, nice guys don't you think?
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
16 Aug 09
hmm sadly no not really. unfortunately girls are drawn to a bad boy because they feel that they can redeem him. sadly the nice guy falls to the roadside. i do so like manners though, they are very attractive, sexy even.
@divkris (1163)
• India
14 Aug 09
Well i thought i should opose the statement when i saw the discussion first. but when i read throught ht edescription i do agree with you. People have become very self-centered and cannot see anything other than themselves now-a-days. I think the humanitarian inside the person has been put off to sleep and this why most of the people lack manners.
@mama_bear (1124)
• Canada
16 Aug 09
ha ha thanks, i can understand that these are trying times that we are living in, and people are frustrated, distrustful and angry. they are angry with society, with the system, with the government with the war that is going on. people are freaked out and scared and it manifests in them being more closed off and not being neighborly. it is sad when you fear you neighbor, or when you do not want to interact or get involved. i miss the old days.
@dlr297 (5387)
• United States
15 Aug 09
You are so right people just do not have any manners any more. about a month ago i was in wal-mart and i was standing in the check out line and this young man was running with his cart and he ran right into me, and knocked me down, instead of him coming over and helping me up, or finding out if i was ok, he just started yelling at me for being in his way.. The cashier came over, and so did the person in front of me, but not even a im sorry from the man that hit me. It is like their is just no respect for any thing any more, People just do not use common sense anymore when dealing with others.
@Hatley (164652)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Aug 09
hi mama bear yes manners are now often forgotten in this era. I live in a retirement center. I am not really disabled but I have a brace on one leg and walk with a cane as I have'painful arthritis. well sometimes when I come down from my room'on the second floor and the door opens onto the first floor=,some people waiting dont let me out but crowd in around me and jostle' me so that i have a hard time just keeping my bAlance. i try 'to get out as quickly as I can but my bad leg slows me a bit.' I do think that good manners wou ld make those waiting pause long enough to let me get off so theres spAce for them to get 'one,why try to knock me down in their hurry? And again there is one dear man who sees my fix and steps forward And takes my arm to guide me out safely past the people in a hurry.