Out of control 13 year old!

@dbabcook (390)
United States
August 14, 2009 10:09pm CST
Have any of you ever been involved with someone who has a child or children and that child(ren) were so totally out of control? My boyfriends son is so terribly out of control it is unreal. He is on his 2nd therapist and medication but as of right now after over a month and a half of his meds we are seeing a small (very) small improvement. This childs mother walked out when he was less than 2 years old and I believe that alot of his resentment towards woman is due to that particular fact. He is very hateful & angry. He has a habit of fibbing & stealing. He is so bad about telling lies that he doesn't even know the truth anymore. You can catch him red-handed and he knows it but he will sit there and lie straight to your face. We have other issues with him urinating & deficating himself. This happens alot but not an everyday issue. If anyone has any suggestions they would be very welcome. I am just at my wits end as to how to deal with this child. I love my boyfriend but am willing to throw in the towel just to be free of all of the stuff his son is putting us through. Unfortunately there is much more but didn't want to burden with all of the sorted details.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@bird123 (10501)
• United States
20 Aug 09
If I had the problem, I would have an mri done first to make sure there isn't a physical problem in the brain. If there is nothing wrong then I would keep trying new therapists until one connected.
@maximax8 (28490)
• United Kingdom
15 Aug 09
I think that your boyfriend's child needs professional help to explore issues that make him misbehave. I think it might have something to do with his mom leaving him at the age of two years old. He needs to learn the difference from right and wrong. He must find out that stealing is not acceptable. He is a teenager and that is a challenging time for any young person. I think the right way to progress is praise for the slightest thing he does right. I am a primary school teacher and that is the way I get through to children that misbehave. I know that some children like their work to be displayed on the wall. They build their self esteem and find out what they are good at like art in some cases. You could try giving him a morning, afternoon and evening session and then a target for each week. For example to be honest and keep his hands to himself. I mean he is not to steal but you should stick to positive wording. Then he could have a reward if he gets five ticks in one week. Good luck.
@dbabcook (390)
• United States
15 Aug 09
We have explored several reward options, the last one being a Point System, inwhich for everything he did good or right he would earn X amount of points then once he reached a certain amount he would be rewarded with something he enjoys. However if he did something bad then he would lose X amount of points. He did really well for the 1st day and had been rewarded with an hour of his favorite video games. Once his hour was up he began having an attitude and throwing a fit stating that it wasn't fair and that he never gets to do anything. How do you get to overcome this? Thank you for your post it was enlightening.
@Hatley (164640)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Aug 09
wow you have your hAnds full.he is probably acting out he misses his mom and perhaps he has never really given any limits.kids need limits even if they would never say so.sounds like he has a lot of problems you probably cannot handle. I would recommend your boy friend take his messed up son to a child psychiAtrist before he gets any worse.He needs more help than you or his dad could possibly give him. and its not your job.
@dbabcook (390)
• United States
15 Aug 09
We are currently (or shall I say I) am currently taking him to a phychiatrist on a weekly basis, but he refuses to open up. Every response to his therapist is very short and vague. I have suggested to his therapist that I believe that she should set him up with one of the male therapists within their office as I think he may respond much beter than he does to a woman. She has agreed but has also suggested that the therapist come out to our home, which kind of frustrates me as this child has already created such a mess with us and we are currently having CPS coming and making appearances at our home and now another company that does in-home visits is going to be coming out weekly for visits. I am soooo frustrated and depressed & am thinking that I am going to be needing a therapist myself very soon. I appreciate your response.
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Apr 10
Well i had my cousin kid who is so called notorious. And to get him under control is like carrying the mountains. He is tough tough and tough. And more over, he has all bad qualities, to disrespect parents and relatives, throwing things on them, breaking things. Finally we took him to doctor and i feel he is better now.