Let the children pay for their own fault

@ypyanyan (956)
China
August 14, 2009 11:31pm CST
Child has done damage to the interest of others things,should the chilren apology to others? Some parents think that small children ,do not know what,if the insistence of others on a apology by our children here on the list.This approach seems reasonable,but it is wrong. Japan's well-know scholar of cutural anthrophology Mr.Gao Qiaofu in his "ugly Japanese" book, describes in detail a true story that in those years,Mr Gao Qiaofu a university in Peru Visiting professor,he and a pair of professors from the United States and his wife live side by side,One day,the couple's small son accidentally kicked a football in his home on Mr Takahashi,a variety of glass were broken.
2 people like this
10 responses
• United States
16 Aug 09
It is important for children to apoligize for what they did wrong and truly know and understand why it was wrong. I also try to find other ways of avoiding what caused them to do something wrong. Part of making mistakes for everyone is owning up to them and learning from them. It's important for kids to understand this so when the time comes that they made a mistake, they're not going to be incredibly upset by it, but realize it's a process in life-learn from them, apologize, and move on.
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
As long as a child is 17 years old below, they are still to be guided and pruned under their parents' or guardian's supervision. If a child makes a mistake,due corrections must be made immediately and they must explain to the child why he or she must apologize. Prolonging or delaying the correction leads to confusion, causing the child to think "Why should I listen when they don't even agree with each other?". An example I would give is a relative of mine who has a little boy who loves to raise women's skirts. The grandparents were aware of such act, and say, "How cute. He's just a kid".When the kid grew up, he turned up to have a string of bad relationships with women. Parents have to be consistent all the time when giving discipline. But the other problem is that there will be consenting relatives who will say that "He's just a kid", or when an adolescent begins to question the said discipline implemented and needs to apologize. For me, I will not allow that and I still have to point out to my future kid that " son or daughter, you did something wrong to this person. You must apologize." Kids are resilient. They are most likely to cry when you correct them. They learn once you tell them of their mistake.
@zhangscu (59)
• China
28 Sep 09
By the way, the author of "Ugly Japanese" (Minikui Nihonjin) should be spelt as Takahashi Osamu in Japanese Romaji instead of Chinese pinyin "Gao Qiaofu". In my opinion, Children should learn to bear responsibilities when they are very young. If parents show and apologise for them whenever they have done wrong, they will not build their own personality. They just think, I am a pet of my father and mother; they will get everything ready for me ... .
@dorannmwin (36609)
• United States
16 Aug 09
My children have been taught from the time they were old enough to both talk and to learn right from wrong, that when they do something wrong, weather intentional or accidentally they are to apologize. My son, who is two years old, will even apologize to the dog when he accidentally steps on her tail. Perhaps this is the reason that all of the other parents in the neighborhood say that our children are the most well behaved. Both of my kids use good manners when they aren't at home and both know to be apologetic for things that happen. I honestly think this is something that isn't done enough any more with children.
@Hatley (132688)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Aug 09
hi hatley here i think here in the US we do ask our' kids to apologize if they have done damage to something 'or some person. If its A lArge damage most pArents will 'pay for it themselves so as to make restitution then hAve the kids pay them back by doing chores and getting paid for them. they have to repay a certain amount each month til the bill is paid off.
@lynnemg (4541)
• United States
15 Aug 09
I think that children should be taught at a very young age to take responsibility for their actions. When they are young, an apology is normally sufficient. As they get older, there needs to be more depending on the circumstances. For example, my 5 year old step-son stomped on my daughter's toes a few weeks ago. Of course, she cried, and it hurt her. I made him apologize, and explained to him that he doesn't like it when someone hurts him, he should not hurt others. He is a soft hearted little guy, and just those words and having to apologize were enough. He understood. Now, last summer, when my oldest was 11, he, along with my other two, ages 7, and 6 at the time, were throwing rocks and bricks over a fence into a lady's yard. She was very upset, even though they didn't actually hurt anything. So, in that instance, they all had to not only apologze, but also pick up all that they had thrown in her yard. This made them not only take responsibility, but also show their remorse.
• Philippines
15 Aug 09
wow that is really sad. i don't know about children in Japan, they have such a weird culture. i remember watching video in youtube about how you make fun of terrible moments in a show.well, there was this boy, giving out flowers to bigger little girls, but on the second one he was ignored, when he was about to go to the girl, he fell, down...so humiliated
• Indonesia
15 Aug 09
Some old people will think like that. A grandpa or grandma who loves his/her grandchild really will just say : He is still a kid, it's normal if they are a little naughty. But I think it's not correct. If our children made any mistake to anyone, we have to teach him how to apologize. More important is teaching them to have respect on others. And this respect character, we should plant it in our children since they are kids, so when they grow up they will know how to treat others correctly.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
15 Aug 09
When my daughter, who is 8, says or does wrong, I force her to apologize to whomever it is that she has wronged, and then I explain to her why it is wrong or what the proper course of action is. It is true that accidents do happen, and generally if damage is done, she is made to apologize then as well and it's been that way since she could even begin to pronounce the word "Sorry". I refuse to allow my child to contribute to how crappy this world has become in the "bad attitudes" department.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
15 Aug 09
When my daughter, who is 8, says or does wrong, I force her to apologize to whomever it is that she has wronged, and then I explain to her why it is wrong or what the proper course of action is. It is true that accidents do happen, and generally if damage is done, she is made to apologize then as well and it's been that way since she could even begin to pronounce the word "Sorry". I refuse to allow my child to contribute to how crappy this world has become in the "bad attitudes" department.