Time Out or Spanking?

@cpamanda (694)
United States
November 13, 2006 11:08am CST
So many talk shows today look at children and discipline. Do you think spanking or time out is the best? Why do you think this?
3 people like this
25 responses
@bobmnu (8160)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Very good discussion topic. Need more like this. Both are approiate and need to be carefully used or they become meaningless. I once worked with a student who was given a time out for everything he did wrong. His time outs were for days a a time. When he was in High school he figured o out that he was grounded, Time out, until he was 45 years old so what the heck. I have found that short inconvient time outs work best. Spankings should be reserved for thiose things that are sever and you want stopped righ now. I have found that a quick light spanking can be more effective that a hard slap causing pain.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Thank you for the input. You make a new point no one else has mentioned. Any behavior modification used too much, will loose its power. I agree. So that makes sense, we should probably make use of both and some other creative means of behavior modification as well. Thank you!
• United States
15 Nov 06
I think both are good. It all depends on the situation. I was spanked as a child and I turned out great :). I didn't dare act up, especially in public...if I even started to act like I was gonna do something I got "The Look" and knew better. I think the biggest reason people don't spank their kids or get on to them as much as they should these days is because they are scared that they are going to get into trouble and/or get their child taken away from them. This is really sad because I have a friend that refuses to get onto her children at all because her kids while at school are given numbers to call if they are abused and they threaten her with it all the time if she doesn't get them everything they want. So when you see children that are straight demons you can thank the system that has struck the fear into people about disiplining thier children.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
15 Nov 06
You ahve some good points. It is a sad day when parents are afraid of their children because they can call and have social services in on them in a heart beat!
@jamie11982 (1662)
• United States
14 Nov 06
when my children are bad i give them a time out. But that also depends on how bad they are and what they did. If it is something as dangeris as walking in the middle of the road they get a spanking. tThey know better. My oldest is 6 and his brother is 4. I have 2 other children as well who are under 2 so the 4 and 6 year old is showing the example for the younger two.
1 person likes this
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
You have your hands full! I agree, walking in the road is dangerous and you must get your point across for the safety of your children. It is true that older siblings set an example. If they run wild, your younger ones will follow suit. Thanks!
@melody1011 (1665)
• India
14 Nov 06
I think it totally depends on the situation. Im not a mom so i cant elaborate more. But i dont think I would spare the child and spoil the rod. Sometimes a spanking is better than a time out especially when the child is too small to understand the smae.
1 person likes this
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thanks for the honesty and opinion. I appreciate the time you took to respond.
@flowerchilde (12518)
• United States
13 Nov 06
I'm divided. If spanking is done it should be done without anger, and surely limited. Time out takes more work, but should be enforced, not wishy washy, as should restrictions of tv, phone or computer.. Mostly I find people are given to extremes.. ten years of tv or phone, etc banning.. so ya have to back down or be Attilla the Hun! I do think it's ok to change one's mind, as in "I was angry when I said ten years, so we'll make that a week", or a day or two, whichever best applies as to the age of the child or severity of their wrongdoing. - You see folks who discipline their kids not at all, or ones who barely want their kids to make a peep or move.. Either way, strict or way lenient.. I think each are a cop out. Children want to have fences and bounds (reasonable ones) they can feel 'safe' in. All I know, lotsa angry, anti society, or violent kids seem to pop up.. but each extreme I mentioned, and movies and games can be contributing to that, plus abuses, at home OR school.. and both parents are way busy working in order to pay the bills. It almost seems like a conspiracy was carried out against, kids and family. Hope all the angry kids don't become recruited into extremist groups, for their sake and everyone else's.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Wow, you make some good points. Whatever method you choose, you need to follow through even if that makes more work for you. AND you should always take a moment to breath (count if you must) before the spanking or time out or restriction is announced. That way, it is calm and thought out. I think those are excellent points. And yes...... if those angry children all find each other on myspace or something similar...we could be in trouble.
@krizz420 (4389)
• Canada
13 Nov 06
I think kids need a spanking now and then. When I was a kid that what was what kept me in line. Im not saying beatings are good but a spank every now and then could'nt hurt.
1 person likes this
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Yes, I agree. They key is to pick the situation deserving of the spanking and not to lash out in anger. That would be bad.
@kittykatzz (1133)
• United States
28 Nov 06
there are worse things than spankings.. lol.. my children jsut arent old enough to recieve the type of punishments when they cant use the computer, phones, cars, or have to clean somethin yucky!.. they dont cross me too far yet.. but theyre still babies to me! usually preteen starts to be time for "actual" punishments and groundings,, cant really take away what they dont have yet! but the whole idea of a punishment is to learn that your mistakes have consenquences right? and the punishment should suit the crime to i think .. so spanking or hitting a child cuz they like yelled or took something they were supposed to or got a detention or something just doesnt seem to teach them anything except .. "well mommy hits me when shes mad... when im mad i can hit (sibling, other child, whoever)" i feel very strongly about this one..
1 person likes this
@lkruger (92)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Spankings for the right things, but not to physically hurt them to more or less put fear in them. You don't want to leave bruises and such.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 06
i'm sorry but i spank my kid. time out means nothing in my house. he understands that if he does something bad he will get a spanking.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 06
spanking
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 06
foolishness is bound in the heart of a chidthe rod of correction will drive it far from himi believe in this sayin quoted from bible
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Nov 06
time-out
@kush12 (312)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
YOU HAVE TO BE CRULE TO BE KIND. AGOOD WACK ON THE BUM NEVER HART ME. THE SMART ONES SOON GET IT BE GOOD OR GET WACKED.
1 person likes this
@trina73 (239)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Spare the rod, spoil the child. I am a firm believer of spanking. I was never spanked, I was whupped! My kids wouldn't know what to do if I told them to take a time out.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Hahaha, you are too funny. I see a lot of children in my office at work. Some of them, I would like to spank myself as they are destroying my office and their mom says...honey you are going to get a time out. I was spanked and I turned out great, if I do say so myself.
@gingerjo (170)
• United States
13 Nov 06
I agree and have this verse on our paddle
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
I know sometimes I am blond. Spare the rod, spoil the child that seems as though that is against spanking. Can you tell me more? Thanks
• United States
13 Nov 06
I was spanked as a child and I was terrified to misbehave. I turned out ok. Nothing urks me more than being at a store and a little beastie is screaming it's head off and the mother does nothing about it. Spank it! Put fear of god into the child. Jeez. Just because you can't control the little brat doesn't mean the rest of us should have to hear screaming/temper tantrums while we are trying to shop.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Restaurants are what gets me. When I am trying to eat dinner and a child is not hurt, just pitching a fit. That bugs me terribly. And I love children so much!
1 person likes this
• Australia
14 Nov 06
What bugs me is when you have friends and their children visiting you, the child is getting into everything, you're constantly telling them to put things down, and the mother sits there and says nothing! Just lets you discipline the child, and then makes you feel guilty because she tells you that she believes in letting them explore and find out for themselves! AARGH..that is such a cop-out!
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I guess I am lucky. Most of my friends do good about watching their children. I only have one friend that makes me tell their child no. She does not visit often, so not that big of a deal. I can understand your situation though and how frustrating that really is.
@zuri25 (2127)
• United States
13 Nov 06
No Spanking - No Spanking
I give time outs to my daughter who is two years old. Growing up the child of an abusive father, spanking just doesn't sit well with me. I realize that there is a difference between "hitting" and "spanking", but I just don't think it is effective either way. My fiancee spanks our daughter if she gets out of hand and wants me to back him up when he does, but I just can't. It bothers me that much. In my mind, it's not okay to hit your kids, in any sense of the word.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Nice picture. Where do people find these things? I can understand your point. I am sorry about that part of your life. I was in an abusive relationship, but it was not physical. I am so much better now though. I hope you and your fiance can work it out where you can both be happy with the results you see in your daughter. Good luck!
@zuri25 (2127)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thanks. The internet is full of these things. Don't be sorry. It was a bad situation, but I'm a better person for it and I don't think I had a bad childhood overall. As for my daughter, parenting is definitely a learning process for us. We will come to some sort of compromise, it's just going to take some time to figure out what works and what doesn't. Thanks again! Have a great day/night.
1 person likes this
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I guess I need to spend more time looking for pics to upload. I have dial up though, so it is slower. Good luck with your daughter and your fiancee. I know it will all be great! Parenting must be such a challenge.
• India
13 Nov 06
Spanking
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Thank you.
• United States
13 Nov 06
My mom used to make us going pick a switch (part of a tree) that she would spank us with. She broke plastic cooking spoons on us when we were real bad.
1 person likes this
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Oh gosh, my grandparents used a switch. My mom would use the back side of my hair brush. Man, did that hurt! But I behaved from them on.
• United States
13 Nov 06
There have been times when spanking is appropriate. A quick whack on the bottom is a quick reminder of the fact that you have done wrong. I would give my children the opportunity to right themselves, but if the offensive act was repeated they would get a smack. I did give time out in the corner. Never longer than 15 minutes to ponder what was more important.
• United States
13 Nov 06
I agree... spanking isn't good for every situation. But there are sometimes when a time out or grounding just isn't effective.
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
13 Nov 06
Yes, I think that both can be appropriate at different times. It would depend on the situation. Thank you
@JessicaD (115)
• United States
13 Nov 06
we do both, sometimes a time out is just not sufficent enough. I prefer to use the time out first
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thanks. I like the picture on your page.
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
13 Nov 06
i dont agree with hitting children. you should start discipling them from a young age (without violence). if you do that, then you most likely wont even need to get to the point of hitting them. so many parents think its ok to be easy with their kids when they're young, then they wonder why their kids are so bratty and disrespectful when they get older. its called early discipline..dont wait til its too late!
@cpamanda (694)
• United States
14 Nov 06
You make a good point. I do think you need to start off with discipline. That way they learn it at an early age. Thank you.