Dates, Dates and More Dates!

@letsee77 (227)
United States
August 19, 2009 4:47pm CST
Hello all. I wanted to talk about dating. My cousin is always seeing someone new, a week, sometimes two, if she really likes the person maybe a month. This is the thing though, she always tries to find something, anything, wrong with the person she's seeing so that she can be single again. Or at times it's almost like she gets bored with the person and wants something new. Sometimes I think she just likes that feeling of a brand new relationship and when it's gone she splits. She does it the wrong way too, for the person she's seeing she just drops off the face of the earth. No goodbye nothing, just gone. When she's not seeing anyone she talks about being alone for the rest of her life and that she don't want that to happen. She wants to share her life with someone, but thinks it'll never happen. I don't know what to tell her anymore because she just keeps repeating the same cycle. Well she recently got back with an ex boyfriend, one she left because she didn't like his drinking (understandable) she seems really happy but this is always how it is in the beginning. I hope it works for her this time around. Do you know anyone that is like this? Maybe it's some kind of fear of commitment?
2 responses
• United States
22 Aug 09
LOL they say the grass is always greener on the other side. We start to see it more and more that people are just not happy with what they have or with whom their with. They keep cashing after the next best thing what makes is worse with that can come an addiction to the high you get with a new person. The hope of "this is the one". LOL I usually take a year to figure out if the guy is right for me and my friend say I need to push up the learning curve. I guess I'm just slow but I just can kick a person to the curb that quickly we all have issues. I theory if I find someone who puts up with my crap I need to be happy and put up with their crap but everything within reason.
@letsee77 (227)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I agree, it takes time to get to know someone and that's really the point of dating. You'r going out learning about eachother, compatibility and all. I like to take the time to get to know the person I'm seeing, unless of course that person is abusive, or has some negative effect in my life, of course those people I won't continue to see. You'r right though I think she likes that feeling of being in a new relationship, of being with someone you really don't know the whole starting process of a relationship, but how will she ever find someone if she does not give them a fair enough chance. If she's got to pick at them to find something she don't like just so she can move on, she's not really being fair.
• United States
22 Aug 09
Maybe she is not happy with herself? Some people think it's the partners responsibility to make them happy and in reality they don't even know what it means to be happy. Happiness comes in small doses, if you don't learn to appreciate the small things in life you will never be happy because you will always chase the next big thing, car house whatever it may be. Just my opinion.
@letsee77 (227)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Well it's true in the saying that you have to love yourself before you can truly love another. So this could be, I never knew her to be unhappy as she never says anything negative about herself. Sometimes she's actually a little vain. But maybe she is keeping her true feeling to herself. Maybe I will bring it up once while we are talking, in a positive way and see how she responds to me.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
19 Aug 09
OMG.. Hahha, this sounds JUST like a guy that I dated a few months ago. He's either been with or chased after just as many women in just as many months too. We're still good friends, but I find it hilarious that somehow his new interests somehow get my phone number, IM information, or email address and contact me asking me about his character.... He was really sweet to me when we together, but is as fickle as a flame in a breeze... I suppose what they do with that information is their problem \ Honestly when it comes to people like this I'm not sure if it's as much a fear of committment as it is a matter of them making sure that THEY LEAVE before they GET LEFT. That way they can skate by on believing that it's never their fault that they're alone.
@letsee77 (227)
• United States
20 Aug 09
It's funny that you said his new interests get your information, as it's the opposite with me. The guys she leaves end up contacting me either by email or on myspace. Asking me if I've heard from, or if I know why she left them. Is she ok. I feel so awkward, I never know what to say. I know they find me through her page as we are friends on the myspace, but not my email. I've only ever had one call my house. So you think maybe they feel relationships only last so long and they don't want to feel rejected if the one their seeing wants to break it up, and so they get out before that happens. It's very possible, people can convince themselves of almost anything. Though if that's the case it is their fault that their alone. Especially in my cousins case, because these guys that write are always very hurt that she just dissapears on them. I think you have a good point, thanks for the reply. :)