SHould you compare one grandchild from the other?

@Lakota12 (42794)
United States
August 20, 2009 10:21am CST
Am asking this for there might be different opinions on this. Here is the thing . Mygrand daughter is 4 going on 5 but she still has training wheels on her bike which she wheels around very fast lol. BUt her other grandma keeps saying they need off of there as she is old enough then tells that one of her grandsons jumped on a battery operated 3 wheeler and rode it with many crashes. Well It was a 3 wheeler and had balance I dont think its fair for her to judge our grand daughter by this do you?
10 people like this
24 responses
@tdemex (3547)
• United States
20 Aug 09
This is society, and pier pressure in it's truest form! Family shouldn't do it but the reality is they do! Getting upset about it won't solve anything, talking about it won't work, it's become the norm in our society! Grin and bear it! tdemex
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
Not sqaying a word! I just get tired of her repeating every thing I say too. Like she just thought of it! but I say nothing about this either for I have known her along time know how she is and I have even worked with her at seveeral jobs. Thanks for input!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
23 Aug 09
Heh. Well getting upset and saying something maybe doesn't SOLVE anything but at least it makes everybody aware of how YOU feel about it. People in general don't want someone angry with them ALLTHETIME, so eventually they will learn not to say such things in front of you, and then it becomes a matter of what matters to them more - being able to see you or saying snippy uncalled for things. If they want to be around you, then just tell them they won't be able to be around you unless they learn to keep their mouths shut. If you think that doesn't work, it does.
@tdemex (3547)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I agree 100% except it's family and then all bets are off! tdemex
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
20 Aug 09
No, I do not. The granddaugther will go at her own pace and should not be judged by the other grandma. Your granddaughter will balance different from a boy anyways, so the time will come when you and her mom will know when to take off the training wheels. Tell other grandma, thanks but granddaughter is not ready for a bunch of crashes at the age of 4 going on 5 ! Keep her safe as long as you can.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
thanks for responce and input . I grew up in the age where ya could get out on the street and teach yourself how to ride took me a day and crashes up the gazooooooooooo but I learned on my own which I think she will do when ready.
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
20 Aug 09
LOL, I grew up in the country and alls we had was a dirt road to learn on. Of course it make the crashes easier with dirt being softer than pavement ! I had this big old bike wiht hugs wheeels that grandaddy got somewhere and almost every time I road it I had a crash ! I have the scars to prove it too. Your grandaughter will be fine in her own time.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
25 Aug 09
lol I think so too they havent tried it again yet amy be when other grandma goes back to Tenn for her operation we can do it then.
@jcj_111776 (3221)
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
Hi Lakota... To answer your question...no. That is the number one thing my mother doesn't do AT ALL. She is proud of all her grandchildren... 3 from my brother, 1 from my elder sister, 1 from my youngest sister and 2 from me. She respects their strengths and their weaknesses. My son has developmental delay. He's almost 6 years old but still can't talk in his age level. The most that he can say are two to three words. My mother understands that my son may talk on a 2 year old level but there are so many other things that he can do that we are so proud of. And she encourages those strengths. She doesn't compare my children to my other sibling's kids. She may worry at times that my son is still unable to do things that he should be doing at his age. But she never ever tells me why he's not like his other cousins who can do this or do that. As for your grand daughter's other grandma, you should talk to her if she reaches a point that may hurt your grand daughter's feelings. She may not even be aware of the impact of her words.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
Thats the way I feel too. and I am very proud of my grand daughter well al of my grnad kids. This one has the most imagination ya ever saw and she has to play with us grownups or by herself!. No other little kids here in this neighborhood. Hopeing she can get into pre-kinder so she will have kids her age and learn to get along and finish up one thing at a time! Oh if that other grandma hurt her feelings she would let her know she stomps off when mad or she goes with fists clenched and makes angry sounds. BUt she is the most loving kid ya ever saw and she never meets a starnger. I had a nephew that never talke3d till he was just about going to school then he never shut up lol so there they take their own sweet time too. HE will come along in his own fashion!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Aug 09
When it comes to imagination, your grand daughter and my son should team up. When he starts playing, he will use just about anything and suddenly, it's a car. My son grew up with no other kids around, too. The people who live across us, have two young boys. But I heard them cussing at such an early age.That's why I've decided not to let my son play with them. I want to hear him talk in long sentences, not to hear him cuss! Oh, I hope that when your grand daughter enters preschool, she'll have a great time meeting new kids and having new friends. My son cries when he can't go to school!He loves being at school that he gets upset when he's unable to attend his classes. If I'm guessing it right, I think I saw a picture of your grand daughter in Raia's Fresh Beginning site.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
oh yes thats her. Me and her have a thing where I use my hand to talk to her nothing on it. and she pays attention to that hand just like its a person my daughter is amazed at that. I also have pics of her here in my profile!
@Ithink (6136)
• United States
21 Aug 09
As a mom of 8 and a gramma of 10 I believe all children develop at their own pace and to push them is not always helping them. For her to compare a bike to a 3 wheeler is insane, they are totally different and the one is totally balanced unlike a bike. I had one daughter that it took forever to teach how to ride a bike yet some of them jumped on and within a day was screaming "LOOK MOM, NO HANDS!" What is it with the no hand thing and kids?! LOL
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
the NO HANDS is fun shows ya have good balance and can make the bike go where ya want by your body! Thanks for input
@Ithink (6136)
• United States
21 Aug 09
Yeah but it is heart stopping for a mom! LOL!
@Hatley (157768)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Aug 09
hi lakota no its not at all fair.we are talking about two different children. I would tell grandma no2 that 'comparing two different kids is like comparing an apple'and ' an orange. no two kids will behave exactly the same'way 'and we should not expect them to.judge not lest ye be judged. Tell grandmom no2. the subject is now closed.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
HAvent really had time to do it to day as daughter and i and grand daughter took off and got away from the house for awhile he he he . ANd she soon will be going back to Tenn for her shoulder operation and then be back for good. I just have to think to point out he got on a three wheeler and she is trying to do a 2 wheeler and not getting the hang of it after one time of doing it.!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Aug 09
After ONE time? sheesh... it can take awhile for kids to learn to ride a bike. One time probably isn't going to cut it.
@mommaj (22773)
• United States
20 Aug 09
If he had many crashes I don't think she is saying the training wheels need to come off for that purpose. I think she sees how well your grandaughter rides her bike and thinks they should come off because she can balance the bike. If she is comparing kids, there is obviously nothing to compare and no one should compare children especially based on safety issues.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
She hasnt tried to balance the bike but goes like a whirl wind on it with the training wheels Daddy left themn both down. and Other grandma comparing to kid that got on a three wheeler not a bike!
@mommaj (22773)
• United States
20 Aug 09
Don't pay attention to the other grandma. If she doesn't care the kid on the three wheeler is wrecking when it's more stable than a bike, she certainly doesn't need to be watching the kid when she's on the bicycle. Someone will be scraping her up off the driveway. How HORRIBLE!
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
20 Aug 09
As far as I am concerned every Child to it's own and when the Child is ready she will do it herself, she will not be ready till she has confidence, she should not compare little one to other Children at all Little Princess will soon enough let you know when she is ready No wonder for the talk to the hand lol Hugs
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
yup your right hugssssssssss
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48803)
• United Kingdom
20 Aug 09
Lol you knew what I meant there
@KrauseHome (33258)
• United States
25 Nov 11
Personally this is NEVER fair to compare one person to the next no matter who they are. People tend to have so many different traits and personalities, and when it comes to children some tend to be more advanced than some of the others as well. I feel in situations such as this, the Best thing to do is give them time and when they are ready they will do what you are wanting them to do.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
26 Nov 11
REally not this was 3 years ago now my grand daughter hates all foods she used to love and for some reason nope to my understanding the ohter grand ma eats evert hing plain now granddaughter says she wants hers plain but then she wont eat it if I fix it that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
@EliteUser (3971)
• Australia
23 Sep 09
Hey, I think that comparing the grandchild from the other is the worst thing you could possibly do. I would personally never ever do that, they are going to be different, so why compare them when they are different? Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
23 Sep 09
I am not the one that did it was the other grandma that was visiting! you also have a great day!
@MsTickle (24966)
• Australia
27 Aug 09
I'm sure everyone has already said that this is not fair as everyone is different. Ask the other granma to have a go....bet she can't do it even with training wheels. Your little one will do away with the training wheels when she is ready but she must be encouraged and helped. She will probably take a few tumbles and someone must be there to help her up and get back on her bike. We all need moral support when we are trying to accomplish a new and difficult skill.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
27 Aug 09
LOLOLOL asking the other grandma is funny she cant even get into the swimming pool with out help! and I know I cant fit on that small bike . Other grand ma dont know how to swim either! have been trying to teach her along with grand daughter but right now she cant for she is going for shoulder sergury soon. So guees that will be next year!. OF course we will be there to support her SHe just inst ready. and I taught myself so that might to the way she goes!
• United States
26 Aug 09
Heck no we should not Mya is eight and her training wheels are still on her bike She is really not into riding it.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
26 Aug 09
I figure she will tell her dad when she wants them gone. hugs
@whiteheron (4223)
• United States
22 Aug 09
I would recognize that all children develop at different speeds and that all children have different skills, talents and abilities... One child may ride a bike quicker than another.. While another will speak quicker than another... The grandson as he is a male may be more quick at developng the motor skills. She may be more quick at reading... It is okay that the other grandma notices and comments... Okay too that the parents of your grandchild and you ignore her comments and do what you and they want to do.. All people have a different perspective.... People do notice things about people and do sometimes make comments. It is though important that your little one have an uncritical eye in you to balance the other grandma... You will not change the other grandma and getting upset with her for doing what she does only causes you grief.... The chances of her changing her behavior because of your complaints will be limited,small.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Yes I know and have known this woman for 12 years she still gets to me repeating what I say or buts in with threats to grand daughter if she dont do something. ya dont use threats they dont work lololol I will get over it I just egnore her mostly
• Malaysia
21 Aug 09
Just like we should not compare one child with another, we should not compare one grandchild with another too. The comparing puts pressure and it may not turn out well if the grandchild is unable to cope with expectation. It's just wheels. What's next? I remember my grandma preferring my brother over my sister and me. I did not love her less, but I did wish that she did not do that because no matter what, she was supposed to be the woman who loved me well. I did not hate her. Just that I wished she did not do that.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
I understand what you mean. you would have liked to be loved like the rest.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Aug 09
Huh. I hate when people do this. My daughter is 5 and she still has training wheels on her bike. She needs a bigger bike, to be honest which is why we haven't taken them off. She has a power wheels quad too and a three wheeled scooter, and as far as that goes, riding a bike requires balance. Three or four wheeled things don't lol. Nobody has to learn how to ride a three or four wheeled vehicle in the same manner you have to learn how to ride a bike. I did explain to my daughter that once you learn though, you'll always know. I can still ride a bike although it takes me a little to get my bearings. She has other friends who also have training wheels, some are her age, some are older, some are younger. My best friend's son is almost 4 and he's been riding his bike without training wheels since he was 3. He is also a Wii whiz, he plays like crazy, while my daughter will just look at him stupidly if he hands her a controller lol. It also has something to do with exposure to things, for instance I didn't learn how to ride a bike or swim until I was 9. My daughter learned to swim when she was four, and she'll probably be riding the bike without extra wheels soon. Swimming was a bigger priority because of the pool lol.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
thakns for your responce and yup all kids are different and 4 and 3 wheel things are alot differnt than a bike. I learned whenI was about 6 I think went to my cousins that had a bike and tried all day loong till I got it scrapes and all. My cousin was so mad her mom let me use her bike then I got my bike when I was nine for Christmas had tons of snow on the ground but I got out and wrote it
• Singapore
21 Aug 09
shouldnt compare kids also have their moral and pride too !
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
yes they do thanks o much for responding!
@polachicago (19143)
• United States
21 Aug 09
You can not compare kids or even adults....in fact some kids are slow in athletics but very intelligent and great students....maybe some are fast in bikes, other are faster in math... have you heard the story of animal school?
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 Aug 09
No I dont think I have heard that one dont sound familar. thanks for in put hugsssssssss
• United States
20 Aug 09
Every child is different. She will be ready when she is ready. The "other" grandmother needs to realize that we all do things at a different pace.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
thanks for input and yup she does. And really she hasnt been here long maybe a month altogether as I have been here all the time. and I let the parents decide or her about this. Now I have been teaching her to swim but I know how to swim the other grandma dont swim I been trying to teach her at age 62
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
20 Aug 09
No need to rush,, it is better to wait and see ,when u are more convinced
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
thanks also if she would stay on the grass would be best to to start with!
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
20 Aug 09
Grand children are so very dear to grandparents' hearts and they all think that they know what is best for them. In this situation, I don't think the grandparent who is comparing a training wheel bike to a battery operated 3 wheeler is thinking clearly. 3 wheelers can be very dangerous even deadly, a bike with training wheels are dangerous only if the child gets hit by a vehicle or falls and scrapes a knee. I think the finally decision on whether to remove or not to remove the training wheel should be left up to the child parents and the child.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
thanks for your input yup thats what I think too
@walijo2008 (4649)
• United States
20 Aug 09
No, I don't think its fair either, some kids learn faster than others do, it doesn't matter how old they are. I have a nephew that still had training wheels on his bike when he was 8, they finally took them off and he had no problem riding his bike, he took off on it like he'd been riding it without them for years, it was his decision also to take them off. I think when she's ready to take them off she'll let you know.
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
20 Aug 09
thnaks for input and I am sure she will as she is very opinionated