How do you handle people saying you arent looking for a job hard enough"?

@Hatley (155035)
Garden Grove, California
August 22, 2009 1:03pm CST
I know that my son is really working at looking for a job and hew' was using monster on the net. I was talking to a resident here whom'I like and when I told him my son had beenout of work for quite some'time he asked me if my son's wife had left him because of that. wellI told'him my son wasnt married But I got to thinking what does one' tell people who insinuate that my son is just lazy and not realy'looking for a job. this hurts me as I know he is not lazy and that the jobless rate here in Ca has just risen even higher.He is not alone'out there looking for work.
6 people like this
26 responses
@John4Christ (1598)
• India
23 Aug 09
Well it is very common for people to say these things.......few months ago when I did not have a job, I used to hunt for jobs like crazy, I used to apply online, go personally to that place, send in resume, everything.......but then there are some people who just love to criticize.......but then trust me if you pay heed to them you tend to loose confidence in you and you tend to feel little demotivated......I just dont pay heed to them and i continued to look for a job and I did get a job after few days......and i am happy with it now....... This is a time of recession and people are not really hiring that many people and some companies are just taking advantage of that.......I pray that you son soon gets a job......
4 people like this
@GardenGerty (88952)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Aug 09
I am going to guess that your son is about my age, since you are the age you state. It is even harder at this age to find something that even resembles a career. I was down to only part time employment for about a year, when I had been used to having a full time job and a part time. I stuck with the part time and eventually full time opened up. Fool that I am, I even took a management job after about three months. I am salaried, and work all the time. On the other hand, it is a pretty nice company, and I like the people I care for and manage. But hubby's job of choice is a second shift job and we rarely see each other. We will both hold on, though, as we are having better income now than we have had in the eleven years we have been married. I would suggest for your son that he look into some different line of work that is people oriented, and he may still work his way into something else. As soon as hubby became 62 (it would be 63 now, I think) he took early Social Security. He also has a very stress free low paying job he took in addition. By doing that we have decent money coming in.
2 people like this
• India
23 Aug 09
Well actually I might just be your sons age......I am just 22 now......and a freshly graduated guy.......so it is a long way for me to have a son/daughter......hehe....... I have done my hotel management, and it indeed is a people oriented industry where you have lots of interaction with people, and I certainly agree that management jobs are actually good.......
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi John sounds like you got a really good'job and if you are happy with it thats even better'I think in todays job market the younger ones and'the]ones in the fifty age bracket have a harder time getting' a job unless they have some good qualifications
@qtquiggs (50)
• United States
23 Aug 09
hi hatley, sorry that someone could rude to say that about your son. I know what he is going thru, i have bben out of work since sept 08. i am on monster, careerbuild and check craigslist. only been on a handfull of interviews. I also cant and wont settle for that 10 hr job. i can not afford to. my mom 's friends are saying that the can not believe that i am still out but she tells them that i am looking but there is nothing out there. she knows that i walk the mall every couple of weeks to see if anything opens up and have now even tried to see if i can get a temp management job at a halloween store . it is impossible out there to find work, even using your friends as connections there is no guarantee of a job. all he can do is believe in himself and just keep pecking away. things have to start changing, we unfortunately have been victims of it all. i still feel like a failure at times when i am down. but i know that i did nothing wrong it was the company that i worked for that failed me. tell him to keep his chin up and good luck!
4 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi qtquiggs that was when he was laid off last 24th of september. its been a long hard path of looking and looking' and finding so many others for every job.I am going to 'suggest he try the temp Agencies as my woman friend'got her job through a temp agencyas they liked her work so much they'hired her for a permanent job.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 09
oh the halloween place they'll be needing ppl soon!!! THANKS qtquiggs i never even thought about them..it would temp work but hell i need anything!
3 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
ah yes any port now in this financial storm wish my'son'woul come see me today so I could give him some of the suggestions'everybody has given me.
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
22 Aug 09
There are way too many people out looking for way too few jobs, so I don't know what else the young man can do besides look. California has always been a tough place to be unemployed :(
3 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi fwidman and zoey darned right California just earned a dubious mention as having the jobless rate go up yet again.sob boo hoo. Its really bad here and in the town of Tustin there just werent'many jobs as some of the companies he wouldve applied to have just. get this,laid off 1000 employes. what the heck is going on?big'stores like Sears and Mervyns are laying off people, Mervyns went kaput too. I think if he were ten or fifteen years younger he would have a bit'easier a time.
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
22 Aug 09
He might be having an easier time if it were ten or fifteen years ago instead of today Lots of things are falling apart here. The mall here where I live is closing stores left and right
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi shoeman he he oh yes our mall has also lose about five or six stores,.yes he should have changed jobs' five'years ago as then it would have been easy.
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
23 Aug 09
The one question that usually stops rude people, is to simply ask, "Why do you say that?" Being out of work is not funny, and you don't have to be lazy to not have found employment. Too many people like to think the worst of others. I think many of them have issues themselves and are just trying to make themselves feel better. Wish you son luck for me, maybe he will find something soon.
3 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi catdla nope being out of work is fAr from funny'now and it gets less funny as time goes on. Anyone would'get discouraged after awhile.
@mysdianait (63950)
• Italy
22 Aug 09
It's the same over here too. More people looking for jobs than there are jobs available. I became unemployed almost 5 years ago when the firm I worked for closed down and left us all without a job. I too heard all that about not looking hard enough, being too picky and all the rest but I just let it slide. I KNEW whether I was searching or not. I KNEW whether I was being offered jobs and turning them down or not. No-one else knew so I just let them say whatever they wanted and I would always retaliate telling them that I hoped they would never ever find themselves in the same position. People are always knocking you down further and you just have to smile back and remember karma. Bad will go back to those who are being evil, it always does. Just take a deep breath and smile and ask them, seeing as they are so aware of these jobs, why they do not let you know about them when they hear of them?
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi mysdianait yes good come back. I try to be patient'with people but tell them a lotof others Are in the same'boat 'and have been for months. if they know a job he could do let me know for heavens sAkes.otherwise keep quiet. He uses his computer to search too.What is really bad here is the cost of rent,you hAve to make a certain Amount of money just to rent an Apartment here.
@mysdianait (63950)
• Italy
22 Aug 09
I sincerely hope there are some sort of benefits from social services for those who are without a job and must pay the rent?
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hes getting unemployment insurance and for now is in a gov.rent'paid ApArtment with three other unemployed guys.
@vikkiz (519)
23 Aug 09
I myself dont have this problem but only because i am needed everyday of the week by different contractors, but on the other side of it my partner of 8 years has been out of work for 6 months now!! he got laid off and has found it impossible to secure another job since then!? I dont nag him though as i know hes activley looking hes even gone out and done window cleaning which has added an extra few pennys into the pot.Why dosnt he knock on doors offering services like window cleaning, house cleaning anthing that doesnt require a qualification and mabe like my partner it will earn him extra pennys till he does actually find a job? x
@vikkiz (519)
23 Aug 09
Or i forgot i dont know wether its the same in america but here in the uk we have loads of companys looking for people to distribute leaflets for 40-50 pound per week I know its not a full time wage but like i said earlier i could help him get extra pennys untill he did find some work??
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
we are in the US and in California where its'the worst in the whole country.places where he would' ordinarily give a resume are not hiring they are' laying off computer people and he has qualifications' up the wazoo so he has to make a certain amount' in order to be able to rent even a shabbyapartment.
@vikkiz (519)
23 Aug 09
oh right! you see im from uk so totally different over here, oh well i suppose hell just have to keep looking, either that or if his qualifications are needed elsewhere ie another state then why not tell him to move elsewhere where he can get a job and have a better life? or does he like where hes living now?
2 people like this
• United States
23 Aug 09
I think the resident is a bit out of touch with the world. Especially in CA it's worse than anywhere else, I think. I live in CT and I've been looking for a part time job to bring in some extra money. It's been two months and I haven't been able to find anything. Employers are just picking a name out of a hat. They aren't conducting interviews anymore or responding positively to follow up phone calls either. I have applied to over 20 jobs and they have all been filled. Everyone is looking for work. Good luck to your son, I hope he finds a job.
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
its been really awful here in s.ca as there are'so many laid off from every conceivable company.' the places he would have ordinarily looked are'laying' people off instead of hiring and he has to make'enough to pay the high rent here of even a shabby apartment
• United States
23 Aug 09
I hate to suggest this because it would mean leaving everything familiar behind, but maybe it's time to move out of CA. In a couple months you may not have any other options. I think it would be worth a try to make a better life somewhere else instead of suffering in your current situation. My brother also lives in CA and I have been trying to convince him to leave. He has a newborn and has been out of work. He can't survive for much longer where he is. There is no work for him there.
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi dancce4life we have been seriously thinking about just that as we know it could get even' worse.my son might have to go to some place'where 'he more apt to find work, get a job save some money'then' get our stuff out of storAge,pick up me And just'move heck out of here.
• India
22 Aug 09
What a rude man? Honestly some people are just so weird...zero sophistication. Perhaps he was asking innocently as his own wife may have left him for the same reasons?....either that...... or he's just a silly billy.....with zero idea of whats going on on the streets....hence not much going on upstairs I would say. Don't worry about it Hatley it his problem not yours. Angelie
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hisritrinity nope he was never mArried so maybe thats'why He is a resident here at Gold Crest retirement center'so think 'hes just not up on the real world out there.For every job opening theres a crowd of hundreds so it takes a lot of 'time to get anywhere.
1 person likes this
• India
22 Aug 09
Ok, he needs to read the newspapers or watch the news then! I wish your son good luck, hope he finds one soon. Hopefully this recession won't last long hey. Angelie
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
yes he is out of touch with the real world.most of the'people here do what I hate,they sit all day every day their eyes'glu ed' on the television and dont even go for a walk.yuck.
@ulalume (714)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I'm in a similar position. I would suggest he look on Indeed.com, as it compiles job results from many sites (including Monster and others). Other than that, it is not really laziness. Its just hard to get a job. If he has another schedule to adhere to as well, it increases the difficulty (I go to college full time).
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi ulalume sorry to hear that.I will tell him' about Indeed.com as that sounds like it would be so helpful. here there are so many more out of work than there are jobs its really' apalling,they crowd into places and only a few' are even called.
1 person likes this
• China
23 Aug 09
Why not toundertake?we can handle ourselves.Toundertake,please!
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi not sure just what you mean but he has undertaken looking for work daily for almost a year and that'is' most depressing for all.sooner or later the ' economy will take a turn so we have to look' and also pray.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 09
I know exactly what you mean, I live in California too and the job market is so hard right now, I have been out of work for a year. It is extremely hard, I don't have much experience so I went back to school to try and get some knowledge to help me out, but people who have lots of education and experience still have a hard time. My brother got his bachelors from UC Davis and he had a hard time finding a job. My boyfriend is very hard on me about not having a job yet, and he is always so quick to point out some person that he knows that got a job, when he forgets to realize that they have experience in food service, I have none, so of course its going to be easier for them to get a job in something that they have experience in. So you are very right about your son not being alone, don't listen to those rude people, its easy for them to judge and look down their nose but they turn out to just look like fools because they have no clue.
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi yes its really awful right now in California' as there are so many more applying for jobs than there are jobs. and if you have experience'that' should help however the companies my son would' ordinarily' apply to are not only not hiring but they are'making things even worse by laying off a lot more people.
@meapas (2435)
• India
23 Aug 09
We should not pay any attention to loose talks and silly remarks. These people like to hear their own voices. Keep on trying, some where there will be an opening. Best of luck.
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi meapas yes its best not to listen to idle talk as I know my son is doing the best he'can'and I will pass on to him all the various job' suggestions I have received. he is trying and that is all anyone can do.
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
23 Aug 09
Do your best to ignore that person, they pobably didn't mean it the way it came out. Times are tough right now all over, but I have faith that things are going to improve soon.
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi polly yes indeed hope and our faith that willkeep'us all going
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
23 Aug 09
Hi hatley! I had been accused of the same thing myself over the years so I know exactly how that feels! People can be so cruel and not understanding! Unless they are in your shoes they have no idea and no right to say a damn thing! My own mother didn't stick up for me either! She felt the same way! She thought that I was being lazy and not really looking for a job even though the market was really bad! And that was years ago when the market was much like it is now! It is just nosy people doing what they do best, being rude! It is very hurtful and made me even more angry then I already was! Try to ignore them the best you can or just tell them off! As long as you know the situation that's all that matters! And as long as you continue to give your son the support he needs to keep going on that is what's most important! My mother didn't go that for me!
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi opal oh that would really hurt when your own' mom thought you werent trying hard enough.At least' to strangers or just friends you can say bug off'but you can hardly do that to your owm mom.so i do try' my best to be supportive of him
@GardenGerty (88952)
• Marion, Kansas
23 Aug 09
You do not handle them, you just get on past them. They either never experienced anything this rough, or they have forgotten as they have gotten older. My husband went through six months of no one even interviewing him, then another six or so months of just a tiny bit of work here and there, and that was even before this recession. He is a wonderful person, and I was hurt for him. It just is not easy. You can always come talk to us here, Hatley, and keep your chin up. We know it is a tough economy.
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi Garden thats it ina nutshell.I hurt for him as I know he'is' qualified to do computer programming as he hAs done it for'yrear yet they are laying off programmers instead of hiring so he has to' search for other things he could do
@Jathop3 (42)
• United States
22 Aug 09
With the economy nowadays, it sure is hard for your son to get a job. But hey, on the other hand I think he's lucky to have an understanding mom like you. In most cases, not only we ( me and a couple of my friends ) got pressured by outside influences, we also got pressured by our family members who think we are nothing but lazy bums, where in fact we try hard to get a job, which is hard sometimes considering that we are also full time student and need to fit the work sschedule around our school schedule. So the fact that your son have a parent like you is a very good thing. it's a good thing that you'll be there to give him some mental support troughout this hard times. I hope your son will find a decent job soon. :)
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
I have tried to keepfrom pressuring him as I read the pApers'and watch the news daily on the TV And know how bad the job situation really'ius and that he probably is doing all he can do.all Ican do is pray.
• United States
22 Aug 09
Hatley, my daughter has been out of work for over six months. She has been very diligent and has a lot of skill and experience behind her as a graphic artist and is now willing to do anything (almost). Finding employment here in CA is very difficult. She was living in Venice where there are more employers as well as more people looking for work. Now that she is getting a divorce, she's living with me in Hemet. She's having difficulty adjusting to the heat here. I have a hard time with the heat every year :-o but anyway, back to finding work. Hopefully she'll start looking soon. She's not lazy.
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
joyce I feel for your daughter its just darned hard'to find 'jobs here in California and in the field he wants,they are layingoff instead of hiring. He is open to try other fields but he has to make a certain amount of money'just to be able to rent an apartment once he is off the paid for housing.its certainly worrisome.we had no relatives to stay with either.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
23 Aug 09
It can so disheartening to try so hard to get a job and not having much luck. I am going through a similar situation although in my case my lack of success is because I am particular about the hours I can work because of my little daughter. People do make thoughtless comments and as much as they should be ignored it is difficult not to feel upset by them during difficult times. Your son should feel proud of his abilities and keep telling himself that it is the unemployment statistics that are against him not his skills or motivation. I wish him luck and to all the ones that insinuate he or others like him are lazy !!!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
thanks paula it is disheartening and he has'to keep telling himself he has skills that someone'is 'going to need, and keep on looking and eventually' he will luck out. he cannot afford to settle for'places'like macdonalds as he had to be able to make enough to afford'to rent an apartment rents here are horrid right now
2 people like this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Aug 09
hi alice thats so true and sort of sad as they might stillhave certain limitations on their health. its a truly bad situation and does not look very good yet. nothing has'changed and it just seems to get worse as more companies let go more employees
2 people like this
@Theresam (1181)
• United States
23 Aug 09
My husband will be getting laid off in about 30 days. It is the worst feeling. He has already gotten his resume ready and his game plan done. He plans on making finding a new job his new "career" until he finds one. He is already a bit down and depressed.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Aug 09
Theresam...My husband got laid off first of the year. He still laid off. I know how you feel. Tell him not to be real down just yet. Things are starting to pick back up for employment. We search every angle everyday. My husband has the possiblity of call back. He works out the local operators hall. Just keep that head high and never come up. He will find something soon. I will be thinking of you often. Have a good day and keep smiling.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi both of you this seems to be hitting people' all over the US I hope other countries are not' going' to begin thinking of us as a third world country we used to be really strong, now lot of my' favorite companies have laid off people and closed a lot of their stores. the companies'that my son had hoped to applyto are cutting jobs now
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45647)
22 Aug 09
It's funny how the people that tell you that you aren't looking hard enough are all either in a nice cosy job or don't need one themselves. Tell him to shove it Hatley. Things were always better in the old days. Well today is tomorrow's old days and it's tough!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Aug 09
hi pikey oh yes this is tommorows old days and it'is really tough. I dont know if I could handle it. But for some reason I could always get a job but'that was because ' hospitals were always notoriously short of help.
@Hatley (155035)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Nov 09
hi alice yes indeed as it seems that the few hospitals I have worked in and been a patient in are always complaining that they are short staffed so why not cut out the red tape and hire people now. seems really stupid to me.