Do You Find One Bad Comment From Someone Can Ruin Your Entire Day?

@wolfie34 (26792)
United Kingdom
August 22, 2009 3:48pm CST
Sometimes I wonder if I am totally neurotic and over sensitive with people, as you know I don't feel comfortable around people and I tend to keep my distance from people offline. Do you start the day feeling happy or positive and that bubble has been burst by a bad comment a stranger has made to you, or even a work colleague or someone in a shop or store has treated you badly. Do you find the day starts to deteriorate and it puts you in a grumpy or foul mood, just one remark has ruined your day and you start to over analyze that remark and why it was you they had singled out and then you start to take it personally, and it all escalates so all day this comment is rattling around in your head and you can't settle or become happy again? Tell me I am not the only one, this happens too often to me and yes I know I should toughen up, but with a fragile self esteem I do find that a remark made to me will knock my self esteem down like a house of cards. Do you wonder if it's you, if you have taken it the wrong way, but you know deep down this is not the first time it's happened and thus the only way to take it is negatively Or you've had a wonderful day and someone upsets you on the way home and you suddenly find yourself forgetting the wonderful day you have had and concentrating on that person who has spoilt your day?
3 people like this
19 responses
• India
23 Aug 09
Hi Wolfie, Overly sensitive tell me about it. I'm pretty new on mylot and it's my first forum site too. I put up a few discussions and got menial responses. The discussions were actually something I'm really interested in....so it made me feel like an idiot and out of place. But determined not to let it get to me, I still went ahead although very nervously. Then a young chap misunderstood something and accused me of copying an article word for word!!!!! And I hadn't at all!!!!! It just blew me off....and I spent the entire night and day depressed and the next evening eventually the tears came out for two hours continuously....what a baby I'm 40). I came close to deleting my account, but a few people's warmth made me think twice. Anyway whilst the depression was all going on, I realized how insecure I still was and it was awful! Just not on.....I don't know what happens to me. Now I have decided that I am not gonna start anymore discussions, until I find a good set of friends who will give me some inspiring feedback. Until then I will just reply to discussions. Anyway the funny thing is, is that I was surfing mylot the other day and came across your profile....and looked at some of your discussions.......and they were filled with so many replies!!! I scrolled pages back and more pages back, like 10 pages back and thought .....and it seemed anything from a 30 to a 100 responses! and I remember thinking "ahh what a lucky guy......it must do wonders for one's self confidence and self esteem" And then I was so surprised to see this! LOL......what is going on???????LOL The ways of the mind and emotion hey? I wanted to start the same discussion today but felt too insecure, coz if i had admitted my insecurity in public and not got enough good responses I think I would have been just wounded for the whole year and next! And thats probably not an exaggeration. My opener was going to be- do you think somebody like me should really be on mylot? But my confidence was so low that I just couldn't risk it. LOL I was also thinking that perhaps it's because I am a leo....apparently leo's needs lots of confirmation/attention/affection etc. But I think the problem lies much deeper than that.....abuse. Angelie
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
Firstly may I say what I wonderful, interesting and profound response you gave and for that alone I appreciate! Secondly I admire you for being able to cry, the one thing I say you are wrong is to call yourself a baby at 40 for crying. NO! I envy you, I wish I could cry, you are stronger than me in that you are able to cry. I was always taught from a very young age that boys should never cry! It shows weakness. Do you know something if I had the power to cry maybe I wouldn't be carrying around so much anger, hurt and hatred that I do today. And at the end of your response you said abuse! That is true for I have been abused numerous times in my life both mentally and physically which has made me deeply suspicious and paranoid of people. I feel more comfortable talking to people online. I am glad you have stayed on Mylot and please have the courage to start up discussions! I will add you as friend because I feel you have so much to give this site. And the response you gave well doesn't that make you happy that you have taken the time and thought to respond with a wonderful reply, so many people respond with one or two lines at best! So smile and be proud that you have contributed so much to my discussion and for that alone I appreciate!
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I have also added you as a friend ;0)
• India
23 Aug 09
Thank you so much for your warmth, kindness and generosity. You have touched my heart and it made me cry again.......hahahhaa......ok I'll admit it I'm a cry baby......I would change my username if it were possible to simply "cry baby"...(but I can't now)......because I feel so small and vulnerable in truth....often when I sit here to type, I feel my whole body language change and shrink in age to a mere young child. I do appreciate you 'meeting me'in your reply.....to be met is such a wonderful thing, otherwise you can sort of get left in a numb limbo void. I wish there were more sensitive people about, I think this planet would be a very different place indeed. Being sensitive oneself, can also make one sensitive to others which is a good thing. As we know what it is like to be on the receiving end. All my life I have been a very emotional one, like I feel that I have wires that just don't exist in other people. My husband says that he has never known someone who is soooooooo emotional. Crying is important, it does help, but I have cried so much in my life Wolfie but the pain still seems to be there, the only thing that seems to relieve is it LOVE. So although crying can release steam, it never resolves anything, because I feel the problem is deep rooted in our 'system' on this planet. The system is not set up from an intention of LOVE, it's set up from a system of greed and power, so whoever come's into contact with it, they will feel jarred one way or another. Its like the pivot is all wrong. For the last 10 years or so I have been leading a very reclusive life, we have little to do with people as much as possible and then all is fine. We are happy and life is beautiful as we understand eachother deeply. But it becomes hard to make new friends because they know nothing about you or your motives and it takes many many years to know or trust anyone. I would really like to branch out and make good friends across the globe, but sometimes I think it maybe not be possible in this day and age as everyone has already been so burnt and are now so very cautious. What I mean to say is that, although you are so cautious about people, I am very grateful that you have extended your hand of friendship to me online. It means alot to me and I truly hope that one day you can find that place easily of crying and just letting the tears flow, hand out with me, I'm crybaby number one.LOL. Thank you for encouraging me to discuss, at the moment, I have lost my groove, and I'm tongued tied to start anything, but no doubt it will soon return as I meet gentle souls like yourself. It will help me get on my feet again. My husband cries very easily too, he is a very sensitive soul, but the thing that is really amazing with him is that he can take any amount of insult with a pinch of salt aswell. He is never abusive himself, but can always see the funny side immediately if anybody says something insulting to him. He once told me that he went on a certain site where the people were really rude to eachother, he found it fascinating because they were actually talking about something of great merit. Then after observing for many days, he wrote something very small, knowing he would be insulted very badly....but he wrote it anyway.....he wrote 'good night'....he received a torrent of insults from the other side of the world.....and it made him giggle so much.....that he was crying with laughter....he was able to see the humour in it all....and although being very sensitive, took it not personally one bit......now that for me is really something amazing and inspiring! A person like that must just feel so FULL inside, must know himself so well, be in his heart, but need nothing at all from anybody. He then went back and replied and congratulated them on their incredible and highly imaginative use of the English language for which he definitely ranks America world number 1.....(he's Irish)....and then they got even more angry.....and he laughed/cried even harder.....because there was an unspoken understanding that it was just an avatar persona that was swearing at him.....and he was actually tickled pink that they were spending so much time typing away to him....sitting in new york.....lol..... Anyway I'm sorry for rambling incoherently here, time I put myself to bed...haha...but I would really like to be sensitive but be more self contained too. Take care Angelie
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
30 Aug 09
I don't allow comments to ruin my day - but I do tend to brood on things sometimes, and probably read more into them than is warranted. I've realised lately that I've been pretty inconsiderate and have bored people rigid with my personal problems - and I wish I'd shut up and kept my ramblings to myself. I also posted a comment about my dislike of a certain food which upset someone - but at the time I just wrote my opinion without thinking of how it might come across. I have a very bad track record of upsetting people with emails, and once had my daughter not speaking to me for three years because of writing something on the spur of the moment and in anger - so I plan to be more careful in future and more considerate of what I write. It can be very easy to 'say' the wrong thing in an email, without realising how it might come across from the receiver's point of view - we can't know what goes on in other people's heads, or how they might interpret something.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
30 Aug 09
I was quite taken aback at how someone could actually be offended by your dislike of a certain food, I mean it's hardly a controversial subject is it, food? Oh well it takes all sorts, yes I agree in emails you cannot pick up the nuances of the conversation and the grammar also makes a difference as I am sure you know. Sometimes it's best to write our feelings out, even in anger and then rip up the letter or keep it somewhere safe, but hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it!
@guybrush (4660)
• Australia
30 Aug 09
I think the person concerned had issues with something else, Wolfie, and took offence about the food comment as an easy 'out'. I had been very self-obsessed and boring, rambling on with my problems - admittedly, when I went back and read the last few emails I'd sent, I realised how boring and selfish it sounded - but I'd also always trusted this person was ballsy enough to tell me when they'd heard enough. Never mind - life is full of disappointments, and you definitely can't see into other people's heads or work out exactly how their cogs are turning! Life mooches on!
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
30 Aug 09
I refer to these people as emotional vampires. They do their best to suck the positive energy out of you. I've learned to stay clear of people like that, but, once in awhile you'll still run into a bad apple here and there. That can't be helped. I can be overly sensitive myself and I've learned to take it with a grain of salt. But, there are still times when something is said that will really hurt me. These people are total downers and don't need my attention. The one thing I can suggest is to learn to recognize this type of person and that way you can stay away from them before they get verbally abusive. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija
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@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
30 Aug 09
Some people though are wolves in sheeps clothing (except me naturally!) and they may be nice to your face or smile at you but they can turn at a drop of a hat or they will gossip about you behind your back. There are always bad apples I agree wherever you go offline or on, learning to tell which ones are the bad apples and becoming immune to their bitterness is indeed the key.
@sandi109 (162)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I can totally relate! I've been happy and cheerful thinking the day was going great and then out of nowhere someone will say something mean and spiteful and suddenly I feel like I wish I could just crawl into bed and have a good cry. It's hard. I tend to over-analyze things as well, going over the events in my head wondering if I did something wrong to offend the person. Worse yet, if it happens at work I find myself making mistakes or having difficulty concentrating on what I am doing because I am so upset. If I could just go take a break for a half hour I would be better. But at work unfortunately that is not usually possible! I get the sense we are a lot of like. The thing to do is try the best you can to distance yourself from what has happened immediately after. Take a break, go talk to your friends, a relative, anyone. That's how I'm wired. When I'm upset I need to vent. My sister, on the other hand, needs time alone when she is upset. So do whatever you need if possible. For long term issues you can't forget another thing is to try to journal about it. Write down what happened and why you are upset. Pretend you are talking to that person and tell them why you feel this treatment is unfair. Lastly, if you are a believer in God, try giving it to him. I know it sounds corny, but it works. There are a lot of mean people around, and much of the time bad things are going to happen. Just remember, many times people are just having a bad day and they don't realize what they are doing. Many are oblivious. So they are not worrying about what has transpired, only you. Holding on to these hurts is destructive so try to let go the best you can. Pray about it. Talk to your friends. To Relatives you trust. Just remember, there are probably other people in the world going through exactly what you are going through. As hard as it is to do, try to forgive as much as you can. It's what we would want others to do for us. I hope this is helpful.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
Thank you sandi what you have said has been very helpful, what I used to do which I have thankfully stopped is that I would seek solace in gambling which I know now is NOT the answer but if there was a 'trigger' during the day i.e. a comment, something said to me or I have had a bad day I would stay up sometimes two to three hours on the net gambling, money that I couldn't afford! To block out what had happened, like an escape. Wow I have stopped that, I am currently going cold turkey on my addiction and it's working, I do keep a 'self esteem' journal and I am seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. A therapist once told me that rational thinking was my greatest weapon against those that try to hurt you, trouble is putting it into practice! It also stems from the fact that I have been badly abused in the past both physically and mentally and so I am highly suspicious, paranoid and in truth afraid of getting close to people offline.
@benny128 (3621)
22 Aug 09
I must admit am of the opinion if someone gives me a bad comment then its their problem not mine and its water off a ducks back. In this world there are great people there are also people who like to put other people down as its boosts their tiny ego's lol, You can never get on with everyone and some people are just not worth the time and effort, if someone puts you down or doesn't like you then it aint your problem its their's. You can bet your dollar the person who is putting you down has no self worth or esteem and the only way they feel better is by degrading someone else.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 09
That is true! I do need to get myself a thicker skin so that comments bounce off me, I tend to be like a sponge I seem to soak up negativity from others and any compliments are disregarded! You have the right attitude, I do need to toughen up, maybe once I have worked out how to keep my self esteem at a higher level I can laugh at those who deem it necessary to put me down at any chance they get.
@benny128 (3621)
22 Aug 09
its easy just remember there are nice people out there and there are people who have nothing going for them other than to put others down due to their pitiful existances. I had a guy at school an old school mate, who once we left school used to say little comments to me everyday as he lived 2 blocks from me so bumped into him at super markets etc etc. I didnt let it get to me, and guess what the reason he puts me down is he is jealous as he has no life himself, he gets off putting others down he's been divorced 3 times the 2nd wife took his kid away from him when they divorced, he lives in a rented house and has never worked in 4/5 years. Basically he has nothing going for him other than putting people down. In short putting people down makes him feel better, so ignore it and associate with the people you get on with, and ignore the idiots that are just there to drag you down its a harsh world out there become the hunter not the hunted and treat everyone that deserves respect with respect and ignore the ones that dont.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 09
Thanks Benny! I guess I personalize too much and think what is wrong with me, when in actual fact it's their problem, I guess because I have been bullied for most of my life I am suspicious and paranoid which doesn't help my thinking and so I tar everyone with the same brush and I think ill of everyone. I have a lot of work to do on myself and I realize this, I am getting therapy but it's a slow process, I've got 9 years of abusive relationships to work through as well. Hence why I don't like to be around people and prefer my own company and I am far happier being single.
@nannacroc (4049)
22 Aug 09
Yes this has happened to me a quite a few times and someimes the comment has affected me for a few days after. I try hard not to let things others say worry me but sometimes it just plays on your mind whatever you do to try not to think about it. For me it's usually something one of my daughters or grandsons say that puts things back into perspective. having said that, I have just left a job because the comments were getting to me so much I couldn't sleep. You're still special and we all need to believe in ourselves more.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 09
You know it's funny my dear friend that I can give out great advice but sometimes I feel sad because I cannot practice what I preach, I also think it's weird that I can feel so confident and happy talking to people on line and yet when I go outside I become a different person entirely. But on another note I count myself extremely fortunate to have wonderful friends like you who rally around and support me and give me great advice, make me smile and make me feel better about myself. I am sorry you had to leave your job and I too have been there, life is too short to be somewhere that is having a deep impact on your home life and your health. It's their loss because they have lost a wonderful person in you and no doubt a blo*dy hard worker, shame to say that they will never admit it!
• Brazil
22 Aug 09
OMG this also happens to me. I have a ton of friends that come to me for advice, because I'm a very good listener and I give good, reasonable advice, but I feel like I don't have all that much control over my own feelings. Sometimes it is REALLY easy to ruin my day. At least I'll be a few hours moody and monosilabic. It's not a very good thing specially when you have a long-term relationship, 'cause nobody is perfect, and all of us have to deal with things we don't like. The funny thing is that after a moody period, I just can't keep it inside anymore, and I'll either talk to that person, or I'll let it go and forget it. But until then, it just eats me inside, mess with my sleep and all that. I worry too much, I care too much and sometimes I guess I'm just pathetic. But I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one...
• Brazil
22 Aug 09
OMG, maybe the pathetic thing came out wrong. I meant I sometimes feel pathetic being that way, but now I see that I'm not, because those problems happen with other people too all the time, so it makes me feel better about myself to see that I'm not alone in this. (I'm not calling you guys pathetic, god no LOL)
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
22 Aug 09
Depending on who is talking and what they've said.. yes. I don't bat an eyelash when someone who doesn't know me calls me a nasty name.. Usually I laugh and blow them a kiss. If someone I was close to were to say that in a non-joking manner, I'd be getting very upset.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
22 Aug 09
PMSL, you put a smile on my face because I just imagine blowing the bloked who had a go at me tonight a kiss, ignorant piece of X&&&*%% I guess as a lady you can get away with it.
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
23 Aug 09
ROFL I'd do it even if I had a willy. There's nothing I enjoy more than embarrassing those who have nothing better to do than to talk crap about me =)
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I love your attitude and thanks a million for making me smile and cheering me up, what's more I was astounded that willy got through the Mylot spellchecker as being an acceptable word to use! Usually it says a particular word is violating Mylot WTG!!!!
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I used to be like that but not anymore it was hard but I let things go over my Head now, I am sick of getting upset over petty People all the time, also I can't let things get to me that bad anymore as it puts stress on the Lungs and well I took sh*t for 41 years well no more Hugs Sweetie xxxxx
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I need to develop a tougher skin, I feel exactly like you taken sh*t for too long, especially from my ex's and bullies. I think you have to do it for your own health as they can drag you down if you let them. Hugs to you and it's a bit too hot for me and Gissi to play today! Besides I think he would rather stay in and look after his mum he did say you were feely poorly this weekend, animals know don't they, they are sensitive that way! xxxx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
Hi Sweet yes I am poorly but feeling better then what I have in the last couple of Days Gissi has been poorly to he has been to the Vet on Friday and Saturday, but he is ok now Love you Sweetie xxx
@derek_a (10902)
23 Aug 09
I think that we all from time to time get "hooked" by a comment that someone can say to us - either face-to-face or on line. It can go around and around in the mind driving us nuts. What has generally happened here is that a past "issue" has been triggered - an issue that has been constructed by the mind at a time of extreme stress or trauma, when a belief was set up to always react to that issue should the situation arise again. This happens because we are mostly driven by our beliefs and respond automatically from a subconscious level where beliefs are formed and reacted to below our conscious awareness. If we can make the unconscious belief conscious again, we can resolve it and stop reacting in future. When this has happened to me, I have never tried to "pull myself together" and forget about it, as this will only make it stronger. I need to stop what I am doing and focus on my issues - not fight my mind that has become almost obsessed. Writing stuff down is a good way of externalizing what's trapped inside. I aim to stop trying to eradicate my mood and just let it flow (this is called, paradoxical intention). When I am doing this, suddenly I will realize that it has completely disappeared. This takes time I know, but I have never found that it is not time well-spent. I have used these techniques for years on myself and my clients. Personally, this does not mean that I never get hooked any more, but it does mean that if happens very infrequently. - Derek
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
For me it's triggers, I find that a comment made will trigger off something that has happened in the past, the comment then gets bigger as I think about it more and it starts the snowball effect, why does this always happen to me, everyone hates me, it's because of the way I look, I am easily picked on, abused. I have been both mentally and physically abused in the past and thus triggers flashbacks too. It's trying to put it into context without it starting off as a snide or critical comment to me to somethign that has escalated out of all proportion.
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@derek_a (10902)
25 Aug 09
I think that if/when you get into a meditation regime, you will start to recognize how things have been put together into your mind due to your earlier experiences. We all have "minor" flashbacks. In the east this is known as karma, and their meditational practices are a means to transcending karma and recognizing that each of us is a creator of our own universe. To be able to re-create our lives the way we want them, we first have to unravel the intricacies of our karma, in order to move on. Our past does not have to predict our future, and self-realization empowers our ability to create the future we wish to have. - Derek
@malpoa (1218)
• India
23 Aug 09
Hmm it happens to me. Sometimes because of my being preoccupied with some nasty chores, listening to these comments only make my day duller. It so happens that theother person is in a very bad mood and he either snaps at you for some of your remarks ar deeds. But to get an entire day spoiled is a waste which I cant help hi hi. Previously i used to get into cold war to the person responsible for this for days now I have cautiously reduced it to a day or sometimes even less. Ignoring any effort from their part to contact me or sort things out are also one thing I do hi hi But this never happen all the time. Atimes it so happen that the same comment which spoiled my mood for an entire day wouldnt even try to get even minutes of my attention. I think I have to blame it on my mood swings.
@malpoa (1218)
• India
24 Aug 09
For me, punishing those people who distroye dmy mood is easy. I give them this silence treatment!!! hi hi it is easier and requires less energy. Better still it gives you some me-time, good eh? hi hi. But I need a lot of coaxing to get into talking terms though hi hi
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
It takes a lot of energy and negativity to be mad and cross with someone, but when they have made a nasty remark or comment about you it's very difficult to let it go over your head and forget about it, you get angry, frustrated and you want to punish them and this all takes energy and it can also be very tiring as well and you are giving the person who has done this control over your emotions.
• United States
24 Aug 09
I know exactly how you feel and I am the same way. I have self esteem problems as well, and have had a few mylot days where someone is unnecessarily mean to me because I post in politics and people feel the need to personally put down people for some reason, and I have had it ruin my day before. I have also had it happen to me offline as well, it is very hard for me to "just let it go" like my boyfriend tells me to do when he starts to get irritated with me. So you are not the only one, because I do the same thing.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
24 Aug 09
To be honest I tend to stay away from controversial subjects on Mylot I find it safer and easier that way, because you leave yourself wide open for verbal attacks if someone doesn't agree with you.
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Aug 09
hi wolfie I think most of us have had days like that'when' you are really happy and someone bursts your bubble' and you think oh my what did I do. I read these discussions' yesterday claiming that if we dont answer the responses' we get from our discussions we dont care at all, and would'you respoind to a discussion if it had no other responses. It'really made me feel angry and hurt and upset All day as I know a lot'of us do make more discussions at one time than we can really handle.but' the person making the pronouncement thatwe didnt care, was judging people she didnt even know. there are a lot of valid reasons one 'does not always comment immediately on the responses one gets to ones 'discussion.You may have had to work overtime,you mAy be ill or' you mAy hAve just got yourself in a corner with more responses'than you can answer all at once.I think we all do the best we can and w e should cut each other a little slack.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
There are a hundred reasons why not every response can be answered to, and the person needs to respect this and as you say cut a little slack, we all lead busy lives, things happen, we have families, children and especially in the Summer holidays when the children are off school, if we are feeling down ourselves and the list goes on, to actually say that people don't care is a harsh blanket statement and quite frankly they need to get to grip that if it was a perfect world everyone on Mylot would respect each other and answer every single response we got, but hey there are only 24 hours in a day and we don't sadly live in a perfect world, so get over it, that's life! Sometimes those that judge have no grounds and are covering up empty lives themselves, people in glasshouses and all that!
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
23 Aug 09
It happens to me most of the time. Some comments ruin my mood and I get angry. Sometimes I am able to shrug it off while sometimes it can stay in my head for the whole day.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I guess it depends on the comment, who it is from and what frame of mind you are in, I think I feel it more because this time of the year my mood is low as the heat gets to me, and depression is more prevalent so I tend to find insults and bad comments affect me greatly.
• India
23 Aug 09
I myself suffer from the same thing as you. Sometimes, some bad comment ruins not one day, but many days! Anyways, I know that this should not happen. Maybe feeling bad for a few minutes is o.k as we are human.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
It's learning how to ignore that comment or shrug it off, rather than to accept it and dwell on it making us feel sad and then that comment controls us, we need to develop a thicker skin so that unwanted comments bounce off us!
@bonbon664 (3470)
• Canada
23 Aug 09
Rest assured, it's not just you. I find I can be very sensitive about what people say about me. I have a weird fault where I care too much what people think of me. I try to put on a tough exterior, like I don't care, but, inside, trust me, I care.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
I tried that once my friend, tried to develop a 'couldn't give a damn' attitude but I couldn't carry it off, because sadly I do give a damn and I am sensitive and I do take things to heart, but I guess we look upon this as a negative aspect, whereas it can be an endearing and warm part of our personality which can attract others, providing they are not bullies and control freaks.
• Canada
23 Aug 09
Heck! Never mind a bad comment, how about a bad dream/nightmare? I then wake up from it, and my day goes downhill from there! So to say a bad comment was made to me, yes, I get crabby, miserable and want to be left alone. Don't bug me!
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
Good point sis! Nightmares can kill the day and you just want to go back to bed and wake up tomorrow, because you know it sets a precedence for the whole day, it's ruined before you even get out of bed!
@cripfemme (7715)
• United States
23 Aug 09
I've (sadly) found that exact thing. I'll be minding my own affairs and then someone will come and be stupid to me. Often as I have a disability, this kind of behavior involves asking someone else what I'd like to order in a restaurant acting all together like I'm not there. Such people have spoiled perfectly nice days out and I've (wrongly) often taken out my anger on able-bodied friends who I was with, as a result.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
When you are disabled, people presume that you have lost all of your senses, and it's so damn patronizing too, so I hear you, if you are blind they think you are deaf too, if you are in a wheelchair they think you have no capabilities at all and speak to you as if you were stupid. Well tell take Stephen Hawkin one of the most intelligent men on this world, I say no more. Sorry to digress but that hit a nerve there. Sometimes the people we love and care for get the wrong end of our tongue when in actual fact it should be the people who have hurt us in the first place to get the anger!
@master101 (223)
• Indonesia
23 Aug 09
I found bad comment affected me, yes. That's why we all must careful on what we said to others, even if its online. The thing is about internet, people feel free to comment anyway they like, because they were able to hide their identity. In real world, for people see who we are, this didnt happen that often. But to let bad comment ruined our day? Well, I dont think so. Atleast, I wont let it happen.
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
Exactly when you are behind a computer it is so easy to condemn and be rude to others and hide your true self. Thanks for your response and welcome to Mylot
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
23 Aug 09
Hey wolfie! Nope! You are not alone my dearest friend! I, too am just like you! It could be a beautiful day and I might actually be in a fairly decent mood and I might overhear someone make a negative comment about me and I will be shot down like sh1t! Or someone will say something that will totally ruin my day and I will be upset the rest of the day and night! That is what happens with people like us who are overly sensitive! It sucks doesn't it! And we are on completely different sides of the ocean and it happens here and there! Can you believe that there are horrible people here where I live and there where you live! I wish I wasn't so damn sensitive too, but unfortuately we are and we take these things to heart! Just remember we have each other! Love, Opal
@wolfie34 (26792)
• United Kingdom
23 Aug 09
And that alone is very comforting dear friend! I wonder sometimes if I should toughen up, but then that makes me 'not me' if that makes sense. I have tried to 'not give a damn' but it's so damn hard, because deep down I do care and I am soft, and I am easy going and placid, but they make me vulnerable and bullies like vulnerable people, it's a double edged sword do you be something you are not and don't like or do you be something that is open to abuse by others? It's between the devil and the deep blue sea. But knowing there are other people, other 'good' people who are like me is a comfort. Hugs x