when can you say that your partner does not offer much effort ....

By eM
@eLsMarie (4148)
Philippines
August 23, 2009 9:31pm CST
in your relationship?
1 person likes this
5 responses
• United States
24 Aug 09
The biggest thing my boyfriend doesn't really put forth much effort in is making plans to see me. I'm always the one that suggests doing something when it comes to hanging out or making plans together. Its very frustrating and I wish he would just make plans every now and again that way I would feel like he wants to see me too.
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@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
is this a coincidence? my God! we're at the same situation. i guess that's the reason why i'm beginning to doubt about his feelings towards me... :( how i wish he would initiate plans for us to meet and hang-out.
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@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
24 Aug 09
Ungh.. I've went through this with just about every guy I've dated. Now, I don't even keep around people who might say that they're friends if they never make an effort or sometimes even the first effort to be communicative and willing to make plans. Friendships and relationships are give and take and if that doesn't stay in balance, chances are someone's not going to be happy for very long...
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• United States
24 Aug 09
Well I know my boyfriend loves me I just think he has a different way of showing it. I think guys tend to not put forth effort because they feel like we would do better at planning. I don't know. But I would talk to your boyfriend about why he does it and tell him it is making you doubt your feelings. That way you can at least hear his reason and see if you can okay with it or if you would like him to change it.
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@lixiaoyan (179)
• China
24 Aug 09
when he hasn't given messages or calls for me before my important matches or performances ,I will doubt that whether he really see me as his important one .I have quarreled with him about this reason.Luckily ,he hasn't did that again after my complaining.
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@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
yesterday, i confronted him also... i guess they're just waiting for us to open up before they'll decide to finally make a good move...
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• China
25 Aug 09
Yes ,maybe.
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@larish (2195)
• Philippines
24 Aug 09
For me, a person in love will make all possible things to make his girlfriend appreciate him. I always have no doubt that no matter how hectic one's schedule is if he needs to see his girl he will do everything to go to her. If this isn't possible, I guess he might have found love to someone else or he is too tired to please his ggirlfriend. This is only my views on this. I always believe that men do the extra mile for the love of their life.
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@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
i agree... i guess i was just too selfish. i forgot that he has other priorities also and i'm glad that he assured me yesterday that he won't do things that will surely ruin our relationship... :)
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@weasel81 (2502)
• Australia
24 Aug 09
i think that would be when your expected to do everything , and run round doing his bidding and his only. the only good answer to him, is one of you lying on your back legs spread (sorry shouldn't be so rude) but it's the way i feel, guys should make the effort to do something in the relationship, even little things can make me happy.
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@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
i very much agree... :) i'm not really into something that makes him keep moving. i just want him to make me feel that he made an effort and i don't give a damn to how petty it is... :)
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@lealuvy2j (1989)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
As much as possible, I will try to avoid saying that my boyfriend is not exerting any effort in the relationship because the first time I said this to him, he was very hurt because he thinks he is doing the best he can. After that, It made me realize that in reality he is exerting a lot of effort, I just tend to overlook the things that he do because I am expecting something else from him. Sometimes, it is how we look at it that changes it. I suggest that before you say that your partner is not exerting a lot of effort, try to appreciate him and the things that he does for you. Look for characteristics that made you fell in love with him in the first place. A positive outlook can be of big help in a relationship. :)
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
what you've just shared with me is same thing that i have been experiencing right now... i felt so guilty for not being able to appreciate the little things that he does for me... :( i made a mistake