Sweetness drives in Friendships

@zandi458 (27952)
Malaysia
August 24, 2009 1:33am CST
Anger comes when I am empty and someone wants me to love, to give him what I need myself. The love is there but it is banked already and there is no loose change to hand him. And so I turn on him as though he has asked for the earth, when just a smile would have done. And then he does ask for the earth, because the little I could have given, I did not. If only I had been loving and and responding positively, I could have avoided many complications. When the love that is stored is touched, I can give freely and he would have been happy. Sometimes, a break or even sleep helps to dissolve our anger because in sleep, a change takes place inside us. Only with realization and understanding can we change anger into love and then it becomes a friendship. So why get angry? with anger I lose all my friends and besides, no one would like to approach me. It is said that anger even dries up a pitcher of water. Have you been annoyed lately with mylot friends? Putting up discussion to implicate others may not be in the true spirit of mylot.
4 people like this
14 responses
@mysdianait (64058)
• Italy
24 Aug 09
Love is sometimes under lock and key. Fear of being hurt, fear of the unknown, fear of going through a similar episode which hurt in the past makes us cold and incapable of loving. When a friendship cuts through the armour that we have put up and love sees the light of day then it causes fear to turn into anger and the love is repressed again and again. Anger is a negative emotion and it takes a lot, a heck of a lot for me to get angry. I have never been angry with friends either here or anywhere else. A friend would never give me cause to vent such a negative emotion. Others might try but not a friend. I have not had cause to be annoyed by friends here on myLot. Sad for them yes but not annoyed. In the whole time since I joined I have not put up a discussion implicating others, unless they were in the only category that is capable of making my blood boil, those that cheat. Among my friends there are none of those though.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
I can see that in you diana. The sincerity you have shown to others went unappreciated. Condemnation and criticism did not falter you. You are prepared to expect at least some things to go wrong with people here and that is the price of being a savior to many people. If you are able to step back calmly from situations and simply observe without judgement or criticism, you will begin to know what you must do that is to discern right from wrong, good from bad and true from false. Culturally we are world apart but coming to mylot has taught me to appreciate the good tidings mylot has united us as one big family. Anywhere in real or in virtual world there bound to be black sheep grazing among the lambs. Forget and forgive those who hurt you as they might not know what they are up to.
@mysdianait (64058)
• Italy
25 Aug 09
'Forget and forgive those who hurt you as they might not know what they are up to.' Zandi we might well be worlds apart but the bascis of right and wrong are exactly the same and no matter where we are when we are typing here, those basics unite us. MyLot has succeeded in bringing together users from every part of the globe and here we can become one family with no boundaries dividing. We can help each other just because inside each one of us is a heart filled with positivity. Here our location and beliefs vanish when we become part of one huge online family and all work towards one goal as a team. We can help those who are limping and guide those who do not see regardless of where they happen to be if those universal principles are embedded within us.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Finally the thorn in the flesh is gone. Good riddance! I hope everything is back to normalcy. Please warn me of reincarnation as I do not want history to repeat.
1 person likes this
@mrshughes (352)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Hello friend! Good day to u! I was so busy yesterday and i was angry yesterday with myself. Anger is no good in our life but sometimes we cant help it...but getting angry with friends here..no i have no right to get angry. Some comments hurts but thats there opinion of life. As u know..we can never please everybody, we can only please ourself. We have our life to look at...family to look after so for me friends are not so much of my priority but having said that..my life would be so meaningless if i wont have friends...i dont care if they are real or not but we all need friends to share our life and inspired our day. There is something in friends that ur family cant provide. I prefer having friends online...coz they tell u straight in ur face what the real score is...it hurts but then its good. I choose which discussion to respond..and i dont want to feel responding if i dont good at that discussion. I like to respond into something that i am good at. Sweety life is so short..we all get angry with our family with friends and with our life but at the end of the day...its us who suffers the most. Relax and dont let ur anger control ur life...smile and think of friends that cares. Have a good day baby. P.s i burned the cheesecake last sunday..my son was into mischief and i forgot the cake in the oven hahhahaha still was a good day.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Great you made the cheesecake. 2nd try will perfect it. You have said it all here and I have nothing much to add. Good thoughts from friends are always a big welcome. And you are an upcoming star in mylot. Keep that up and it is not too far away from now before you are able to see the bright star shinning besides your name.
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Wow so nice of u! Thank u for that nice thought of me. Im so happy to be ur friend...i see so many good things about u and u are someone that always have good things to say about life. THanks a lot. God bless.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Thanks for your appreciative comments. Yes, I don't know why I always end up writing on life topics. You are quite observant huh.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Aug 09
Oh zandi, it saddens me to read discussions like that! I don’t understand why this is happening to someone who I thought was quite level headed. You are quite right anger fuels hate and mistrust and takes all involved further and further away from a resolution and a resolution has to found or there will not be enough room for all involved. I am working on my anger, it is still there for many personal reasons and when I need to express it and try at least not to direct it at anyone, not always easy though!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
This discussion come about when I read a post that is attacking another person here which I think should never happen to a good site like mylot. Both the attacker and the victim are in my list. He was so vindictive and trying to sow hatred against another mylotter. When I tried to be the intermediary I was frowned upon and was challenged to delete him in my list. Mylot should not be a breeding ground for hate and anger. We all should treat it as a place of fun to socialize.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
25 Aug 09
I know the discussion you are referring to and I too have both on my list. I feel saddened and confused by this incident and it has left me with a very sour taste...
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
I am also saddened by this bad blood coming from friends that has been aired here publicly. I hope everything will normalize soon otherwise the virus will spread fast and infect everyone. We leave the final judgment to the admin to settle it amicably before it deteriorates.
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Hi zandi458 I have to say no, I have been truly lucky thus far with my connections here on mylot, if one of my friends say something that hurt my feelings which may happen since I am overly sensitive I would write them a private message explaining my feelings and hopefully the situation will be resolved and we can move on.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
If you stay here longer your sensitive emotions will change and you'll be strong in facing criticism. You have yet to meet sarcastic people who speak their mind out without any regard to others feelings.
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
25 Aug 09
HI zandi458 I know one of these days this may happen, I have read some cruel post responding to other posters, I know my day may/may not come, when and if it does if they say something I find unworthy of my response I will ignore them, simple as that, I am here to be happy and respond to discussions that mean something to me, I am not here to feed peoples ignorance. Thanks so much for the response and advice.
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
25 Aug 09
I respond to every kind of post and most are right along the lines I always get which are mostly upbreat on most things
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
I will try to emulate your style lakota. See you have big figures by the side of your name which make me proud of you as a friend. You are a very consistent respondent.
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
25 Aug 09
thanks for the compliment! hugs
• India
30 Aug 09
Wow.. What an wonderful explanation?? Especially in the very first paragraph. I will pass this discussion to my dear one. so that some more understandings could come with us each other. Its true, I show my angry often to my dear ones. means, not having much love towards them. as zandi explained here, "Anger comes when I am empty and someone wants me to love, to give him what I need myself" our dear friends/relations must realize that our sweetness towards them remains the same always. they must understood us in our bad times and should be a support. In stead being a suppoprt in our bad time, and started fighting that i am not at all good in caring or i am busy with something, then "pure for sure". I will burst out in angry towards my dear relations. Nowadays i reduced much of my angry and fight as I confirmed no use. better i try to be more patience in explaining my situation, when i am not in a good mood. But dear Zandi, Even we fight with full angry, the real ones always stay with us. I think, I have 3 relations like that, in never avoiding me, even i gave them many hurts. I still have other few decent good friends. I am wishing to make them too in my permanents friends list. Its all about understanding, from two sides. Take care.. Happy postings.. Have a nice time!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
2 Sep 09
There is nothing better than to be able to show your sweetness to people around you especially those who are dear to you. I am glad that you enjoy reading this post. Have a nice day mylotting.
@krajibg (11936)
• Guwahati, India
26 Aug 09
Looks not a zandian approach here but this is a lovely post. The poem like first part is more absorbing. Asked for love but that is banked and have no loose case in hand. Life is like this our desires and aspirations have been caged and we are left with open face. The anger part is probably true. when you get angry over such matters a sound sleep surely heals the wound. And we are there to get our wounds healed not through anger but trough love. Just a look, a smile and a friendly gesture. All is over.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 09
It happen occasionally especially when it is full moon.
• United States
26 Aug 09
I haven't been getting annoyed lately over other MyLot users. I try either being nice to them or I try not commenting or starting a discussion for the most part.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 09
Some people are too emotional that cause them to flare up when they come across discussions that doesn't go down well with them.
@23uday (2998)
• India
25 Aug 09
Hi friend, SWEETNESS DRIVES IN FRIENDSHIP I have a so many friends are their but in that only few friends are sweetness friendship with me.A good friendship never breaks in life.I am having a few friends we are all good friends forever and ever our friendship is from schools days long friendship.I will never lose my friends in my life. friends bring happiness to our days and joy to our world. friendship is a treasure of happiness joy and sorrow. have a good day.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Be thankful for your friends. They've helped you in the past, treat them with respect and they'll be there for you in the future.
@GardenGerty (104102)
• United States
25 Aug 09
No, I am not angry, or annoyed, and it is sad when friends here are angry. I try to stay clear. I once made the mistake of joining in with a friend who felt angry, before I knew all of the story, and I only embarrassed myself. I will not join in with people who are fighting now, because it is not profitable for me, or for MyLot. I do take a break and get some sleep when nothing else will work for me.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Yah....I have done that too by going in between two feuding friends by responding to a discussion only to be told to delete him from my list. I have no reason to do it but stay firm on my feet and did not delete as asked.
• India
24 Aug 09
there are many friendship sites.like my space and mailfriends.which are free of cost try them
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
But mylot is the best.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
24 Aug 09
you do know anger if the result of fear, in the case of friendship it is often caused by fear of exposure of your true self that for what ever reason you keep hidden. I have not invested enough of myself to cause me fear here on mylot in fact I don't expose myself to this much in everyday life, I have been burned to many times.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
Glad that you have found your right footing in mylot.
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
24 Aug 09
My lot or others,,keep sharing ur love,, and u will realise it never reduced,,as a matter of fact that love multipied,,There is no need to be angry at anybody,,we are learning to be caring and loving set of people,,Its hard but never impossible to control our temper,,we do get bad vibes sometimes,,but say what, that's life,,smile and move fwd
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
friendship - We should make friendships in life.
The warmth in our hearts, like the sun, reaches out and touches everyone.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
In views with this my friend. Yup! we can change anger into love. We can make realities to happen as great friend. But if that already in a year I don't think it can be done. Ok that's my share in this discussion hope I can contribute something...have a great day!
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 09
Anger is part of human nature. Frustrations and stress in life is the main cause of anger in every human. But the opposite is sweet and we can always flip over and turn our anger into love.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
28 Aug 09
Hello friend, I agree with you. That the opposite of anger is sweetness because after having arguments with your partner it is make sweeter for the relationship again..lol. Take care!
1 person likes this