If You Died Tonight How Would Your Friends Of Mylot Know?

@wolfie34 (26793)
United Kingdom
August 24, 2009 3:54pm CST
Forgive me for being macabre and I am not trying to frighten you, but it occured to me what if I went to bed tonight and died in my sleep, how would my friends on Mylot know I had died? Neither my mum or dad would have a clue about my online activities, and certainly wouldn't know how to log in or contact my friends if this happened. They don't know how to use the internet, they are of that 'generation' So no one would know! I am sure after a few weeks, I'd be getting messages from friends asking me where I was. This has happened before when I suddenly disappeared, at the time I had no internet connection, but I was able to warn my friends that I wouldn't be able to get on line. But I couldn't warn my friends that I was going to die tonight could I? Have you ever thought what would happen and how you could let your friends know that you died tonight? Would your immediate family, partner know exactly what to do? Would you have friends that could let people on Mylot know What if you are single or live alone? And what if your friends message you and you have died, if you don't respond they will think you are ignoring them and they might feel they've upset you in a way, they may never know that the reason that you haven't replied or are missing from Mylot is that you have passed away Does this ever cross your mind when a good friend of yours who you only communicate with is by internet suddenly disappears without explanation?
12 people like this
30 responses
@jwfarrimond (4474)
16 Sep 09
Well, all of my online links, usernames and passwords are stored on a Word file so that whoever was tidying up after my demise can easily access all of my online "things" to close them down or post a "gone away, 'aint coming back" message on sites like this. Incidentally Woolfie, I'm 63 and my computer literate sister is 68 so just how old is this "That generation" that you refer to??
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
I hope I didn't come over condescending with 'that generation' as this wasn't meant to offend.
16 Sep 09
No offence Woolfie as I hoped to indicate with the smiley.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
None taken, I am always careful in my wording of my discussion as I would hate to offend anyone, that's the kind of person I am, great use of smileys, as you can't pick up the nuances in typed words.
@patofgold23 (5075)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
Hi there my good friend! Interesting discussion here.. oh wow..i never thought of that until you brought it up.. nobody in the house doesn't even know about mylot... I live in a very small town and I'm probably the only one here doing mylot.... what do you think I should do... what would you..I'm sorry to ask you but I just couldn't find a way to answer your question... wow you just put me in a dillema.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
Hiya Pat, didn't mean to distress you. However after getting so many wonderful responses, I have been given a solution, I am sure it will help you too! I know it's morbid, but if you write out your wishes and your instructions about informing Mylot friends in a kind of a letter, not official and not formal but a kind of will if you like. Do you have other online accounts? Not being nosey but I also found out that I hadn't thought about, my Paypal account who would know I had one? So I would write all this out in simple instructions and I would give it to my friend who at least knows how to get onto sites and knows how to use the internet rather than burden my parents who without being rude wouldn't have a clue. Hope this helps you my dear friend.
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
you're right wolfie.. I still have over $200 in my Paypal right now.. what a waste if I don't get to give it to my sister at least,.... You juust gave me an idea... something i never thought of....
16 Sep 09
I have done that with respect to everything else, but there's no specific instructions on it about all of my online activities. I'll modify it to include that now. Thanks for bringing this up Woolfie, good discussion.
• Australia
16 Sep 09
I have wondered about this a few times. My hubby wouldn't have a clue and my sons wouldn't know about my activities. Gaby rings me quite regularly, so the news would probably be relayed through Gaby. If there was warning - as in a serious illness - I would let a few online friends know by email, and they would pass on the information. No doubt my sons would later email everyone on my list.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
Hey is that the same Gaby with Gissi? Small world we keep in touch regularly and I love her bits, I have known her some time now x
• Australia
16 Sep 09
Yes, that is Gaby. She calls you a sweetie. I met Gaby here three years ago and we are good friends.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
26 Aug 09
Well Sweetie I would hope that it will not happen in a long time, but my Daughter would let a couple of my Friends know who would then pass the word on and eventually it would get to all my Friends But I do hope we are a long long way away from that As it does cross my mind that I might not wake up because of my Illness and knowing I stop breathing in my sleep it crosses my mind often Hugs to you xxxx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
29 Aug 09
Well you know Gissi and I do worry about you, but Gissi is good enough to let me know when we play together if you are ok xxx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
30 Aug 09
Yes I know Sweetie xxxx Oh and Gissi is now Gissi Glitter Paws hehehehe Love you Sweetheart and you know how to get hold of me if you need me xxxx
25 Aug 09
I have two friends on MyLot who I would consider to be friends who would notice I dissapeared. I also speak to them on Facebook though so hopefully my boyfriend would think to log into my Facebook (he knows my password) and let them know. It's a horrible thought though isn't it? I get very worried when I don't hear from online friends for a few days. It makes me wonder whether they are ok.
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7204)
• India
25 Aug 09
hee! I am here . . . . . I have to say, that is one sad thought, i don't want anything to happen to you or any of my friends... i will keep hearing from you:) and so will you..... . . . . have a nice day pinklemonade!
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
It's good that you have someone to trust with your passwords. Yes I agree it is a horrible thought, but in today's precarious world we have to be prepared. I tend to live day by day now rather than plan too far into the future, no one knows what's around the corner!
@dramaqn (1990)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I must say I've never thought about it, but I can still answer the question. Luckily I have become close with two friends on here. One lives here in Ohio and the other next door in Illinois(Chicago). The friend in Chicago I know would definitely come on here and post something. Especially if he doesn't get to meet me in person before I die. His phone number is in my phone and my oldest daughter knows who he is. In fact, their birthdays are close and his mom and my birthdays are close. So, you see the bond of that friendship is sealed and we met here and he would definitely let you all know.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
That is good you have someone to carry out your wishes for you. Trust is very important in any friendship.
1 person likes this
@asweetie (1188)
• India
16 Sep 09
hi wolfie, No one knows when the almighty would say your time is up on this earth and now the time to leave. Unfortunately i dont have anyone who would tell here that i am no more. I got only one real life freind here and i think he would definitely post a discussion here to pray for my departed soul and remember me as a girl who was never rude to even the rudest of people here. Thats all i hope but i am not sure there is any other way to tell all others because none of my family members know which site i am on and how many net friends if any i have.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
16 Sep 09
At least you have a friend that would let others know. Unfortunately we all encounter rudeness and it's good that you can be polite to those that mean rudeness.
@Hatley (164506)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Aug 09
wolfie you just gave me a thought.I am here at Gold Crest its a retirement assisted living center.we each have our'own rooms and range from fifty to ninety. a care giver is supposed to check on us when we are in our rooms to make sure we are'okay so if 'something happened to me they have my son's cellphone number' but unless I gave them some way to contact mylot none of my'friends would know. wow b I am 82but healthy but nobody knows when its his or her time.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
I hope I am not being impertinent here, but you don't come across as 82 my dear friend, I don't picture you as being 82, sorry I digress, I would certainly miss you as you have always been supportive towards me and I enjoy receiving your responses x
@anangf (1148)
• Indonesia
25 Aug 09
Hi wolfie, reading this discussion and other users responses let me think a lot..... To be honest, i never prepare for anything, especially for my own online activities. And because of this, make me little worry..yes, a little...Because of we are life then we are ready to die, like or not this is the deal.. I think we should prepare for anything what will happen next than what we leave behind. So, i will choose for let my own activities gone with me and when the day is come, i did not want to remembering all my online activities as the last one i'm thinking about.. happy myLot. Let the happiest thing make us enjoy the life
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
I guess once we have gone, none of what we leave behind matters, we have moved on, hopefully to a better life to start again, lets hope.
@anne25penn (3310)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
I live with my mother who has liver cancer and has no idea how to operate the computer. So if ever I do die in the next twenty four hours, none of my internet friends would know that I have passed away. Such a weird topic, but a relevant one. Why is it relevant? Because not all of our online friends are known to close relatives or friends. But these online friends may be the ones who know more about us because we get to share so much with them and they in return. So it will be such a sad thing if ever someone passes away. Mylot members will only think that this person is just inactive or busy to login to mylot. =(
1 person likes this
• India
25 Aug 09
This is a very practical and pertinent question over which I have pondered many a times. Though I don’t think that I would be missed much, yet I would like friends and members to know once my account is ‘terminated’ forever! Well, my husband is no good at all in remembering things (and with me gone, he’s gonna go further downhill LOL) so I have thought of waiting for my son to grow up and then maybe I’ll just note my user ID and password in a chit of paper, seal it in an envelope (just like good ol’ mystery novels)…’to be opened after the decease of Sudipta’ and it would contain a message from me to everybody here which my son would post for me…nice planning, what do you think?
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
That is excellent planning I agree! I have had some marvelous responses regarding this discussion and it has given me some good ideas too! So thank you.
@x_Jo_x (1042)
24 Aug 09
Hmmm i like the idea about writing a letter with passwords and such so that my parents can let people know. Also i have my best friend on Mylot so she could let people know i guess and she could let msn contacts know maybe. I would trust her with my password.
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
24 Aug 09
A good trusted friend is perfect and yes a letter would be good too, along with strict instructions, planning ahead so to speak, bit like a will but less formal.
1 person likes this
@suesan35 (479)
• Sri Lanka
25 Aug 09
Good question wolfie. If I were to die tonight, no one would know. I live alone, both mum and dad have pased away. My siblings are all in other countries, I never see my neighbors in the morning, since the doors are locked no one could get in. Vow, vow and double vow. How would MyLot get to know? How would anyone get to know? Now that really gives me food for thought. Any ideas anyone?
• India
25 Aug 09
Only one idea, it is always better to have a companion, either a man or a woman. One should not die all alone.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
I am single and I do disagree with you that everyone should have a man or woman, some people like myself prefer to live alone and prefer to be single. Happiness is not always having a partner or relationship in fact it can be the opposite, but I digress I think if we have good friends we can trust then we can enlist their help in informing others of our demise.
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Hi wolfie! My mylot friends wouldn't know. My husband does have an account on here, but he hasn't used it in a while and even then he'd rather read than participate. My kids are too young to mylot, so they wouldn't be able to help, even if they could. My mom doesn't own a computer, nor is she even interested in being a part of the Internet world (I'm trying to change her mind about that). Basically everyone in my offline life is either too young or just not interested in mylot. So, the only way my friends on here would know is if they read the obituaries and chances are they wouldn't recognize me anyway because I wouldn't be wearing my black teddy or red bathing suit! LOL Happy mylotting!
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
29 Aug 09
Now that is one thing we WOULD miss you in your teddy or bathing suit, sorry forgive Wolfie for being naughty ;0) I blame the heat!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
1 Sep 09
So, that's the only thing you'd miss?
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
I asked the same question probably around last year in my case nobody here would know what happened to me my husband doesn't know my passwords and doesn't like going on mylot he never really thinks much about people he meets online I told him about mylotter friends sometimes but that's about it so unless it's my last wish, he won't bother going on mylot or tell my friends by e-mail about what happens all my online friends still keep in touch with me strangely the real life ones disappear into thin air never replying to my e-mails but those ones might not be friends anymore, yes?
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
I did check first to make sure there were no similiar discussions as I always do before submitting any discussion and I didn't find any duplicates, but after a year I guess I can be forgiven, but two great minds think alike! I always know how to tell who your good friends are is when you hit rock bottom or you really need help, those that stick around are your true friends, when the going gets tough friends don't leak the sinking ship!
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
lol don't worry about 'repeating discussion' thing I never really care about that there are quite a lot of similar discussions to mine posted all these years I replied to them too, it never mattered to me unless it's a copy and paste even those I am not here all the time I might have missed it and you're right. only true friends are worth holding on to
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
24 Aug 09
I don't know haow my friends here would know to be honest. There really is no way that I have to alert anyone here if something were to befall me. I have thought of people before when I see them here alot and then suddenly they are gone. I do often wonder sometimes what has become of them. That's a good question though...we should figure something out about that.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
24 Aug 09
That is a great idea worth thinking about.
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Actually since my Hubby is on here too I'm sure he'd post a discussion to let everyone know...at least I hope he would. I also have a couple other family members on here so I'm sure someone would do it. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
29 Aug 09
That is good that you have family members who can do this for you, I also realized it's not just Mylot it's other accounts you may have set up on the internet, and probably Paypal account too. Food for thought for sure my friend.
@kprofgames (3103)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Yes I've thought of that. I honestly keep a 3 ring binder listing all my important documents, where to find things, bank accounts and living will and my daughter knows where that is at. It lists all the places I go, log ins and even who to contact if something happens to me. I've had that happen before, people dropping off and no one knows where they are. The most important online contacts have my home number. My children are aware of them and I live a list of people to call to let them know so then that person can spread the word around. I think it's the repsonsible thing to do really.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
Wow, you sound very organized and well prepared! In this precarious world we live in no one knows what is around the corner and life is after all NOT guaranteed, don't matter how old you are. We need to be prepared for every eventuality.
@bunnybon7 (37205)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Aug 09
i live with my son and i've told him all my pass words etc. and told him when it happens i dont want friends to wonder. so, im sure when he recovers a little, he can do that.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
Wow I admire your future planning, you are well organized.
@underdogy (700)
• Thailand
25 Aug 09
I am new here but this is the best discussion I've been so far. It is very difficult to comment so bare with me if i cant think a reasonable comment for now. I Agree with their statement that writing a less formal so called will is a good idea, atleast there are people who can pass information to the people you know here in mylot, provided with strict instruction of passing it only once your gone. Good thing i have a friend who joined under me, perhaps she can be my spokesperson.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
25 Aug 09
Thank you for the compliment and a very warm welcome to Mylot to you. Yes a spokesman/woman is an excellent idea!