I made my mother shut up. and now I feel guilty

United States
August 24, 2009 7:41pm CST
I was enjoying a movie when she comes in from the kitchen and starts saying the actress, who I admire so much, is ugly and walks weird. She goes on about it for a good 5 minutes and finally asks me. "She looks so weird, right?" and I say, "Would I be watching it if I think she looks weird?" without turning and looking at her. She didn't say anything. .
3 people like this
17 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Your tastes and hers are obviously not the same. I do this to my daughter all the time, most of the beautiful people she sees are ugly as sin to me If you feel that bad, go and talk to your mom and tell her that you feel bad BUT that is one of your favorite actresses.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Aug 09
I agree with you. She is his mom at least. Show some respect, and if you feel bad, just apologize to her that you didn't mean it.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Her mother actually. I would apologize to her. It's not her fault we have different tastes though I wish she wouldn't try to force what her beliefs are onto me. Thanks for the response
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Just as you would like her to accept your beliefs about such things, always try to remember that she is entitled to her beliefs as well. I am curious though, who is the actress?
@clorissa123 (4930)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Well, maybe you should keep silence for the moment, and not embarrassed your mother like that. Maybe show some respect at the moment. Well, what is done is done. You might need to say "sorry", even it was not your fault. Nonetheless, she is your mother.
1 person likes this
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
25 Aug 09
I have to agree with you Clorissa, when we are living in mom's house we have to show some respect and allow her to be the woman of the house. There is obviously some reason why she thinks the actress is ugly. Perhaps she doesn't want this actress to be influencing her daughter very much but she doesn't know of any other way to handle the situation without making snide remarks. I've done that myself at times with my own children concerning certain shows they prefer to look at on tv. But when children start getting up in age, there is very little that a parent can do without actually turning the tv off. But then the parent would be looked at as the bad guy, so what all can one do?
• United States
25 Aug 09
She seems fine now but I'll still go and apologize. Thanks for responding you guys.
@rsa101 (15541)
• Quezon City, Philippines
25 Aug 09
Yeah I guess parents and children develop separate taste as they grew older and apart from each other. Well, I guess if you were troubled by it I think the only solution to that is to talk to your mom. I think moms can understand your situation because I do believe that she went through that stage that they were no in agreement with the kind of likes and dislikes they have with their parents.
• United States
25 Aug 09
I did talk to her. She brushed it off and say she was only giving her opinion and that I could give mine as well. My mom is so cool. Thanks for responding
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (15541)
• Quezon City, Philippines
25 Aug 09
That is good to know and at least your guilt feeling was eliminated already. you have a good mom indeed. She is a very understanding mom I guess and you are lucky to have her.
• United States
27 Aug 09
lol, it isn't that big of a deal, don't worry :) I'm sure she thought nothing of it, and probably knew that you might have been offended at her remark. I get angry when my husband totally disses a few actresses that I like saying that they are ugly, funny looking, etc and I get all steamed up about it lol, it's kinda funny! Dont worry about it, it was just a small situation that I am sure ended up fine :)
• United States
28 Aug 09
Everything it fine right now and I'm glad. It's not like she can stay mad at me forever because she's my mother but I still don't like upsetting her too much. Sometimes some arguments are fun when neither of the people are being too serious. I'm glad you have a happy light-beat relationship like that with your hubby. Thanks for your response.
• India
25 Aug 09
Likes and dislikes differ from person to person be it mom and daughter or husband and wife. Does'nt matter on what you did. But you can always ask for a sorry by giving her a kiss. Maybe your mother was trying to act friendly by commenting. Mother and daughters always have difference of opinion and mothers always forgive their children. You mother would have forgotten about the matter long back.
• United States
28 Aug 09
I can always cheer my mother up like how all children are capable of. I was a little rude but her comments really did bother me. I'm not sure how bad what I said to her was but we all have our own opinion and everything is good between us now. Thanks for your response.
@coolcat123 (4392)
• India
25 Aug 09
arguing with moms is something we do it that time but feel guilty always after sometimes. mom's have a habit to go on and on with her words and we children have the work to listen and listen always. but todays child are smart enough to turn back and answer the alarming questions and letting the one to stop. but arguing continues and ends with a balst many of the times. but lastly i say that we should never argue on any thing with our parents as we know that they are always right other than in certain choices.
• United States
28 Aug 09
Sometimes with big fights I have with my mother, I just know I should shut up and step away but I couldn't help myself and talk back to her. I wish arguing with her is more like arguments with my brother where we both don't take each other so seriously. I'm glad this time wasn't too serious. Thanks for your response.
@Daraiki (52)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
25 Aug 09
Actually if that's the only thing you said you have really nothing to be guilty about. I mean it's like you started insulting your mother's hairdresser. Every man has a right to his own oppinion and everyone needs to respect your right to your own choices.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Some mylotters are saying I should be more polite, some like you saying I have nothing to be guilty about and some saying mothers and daughters have their differences. I'm not sure how disrespectful I was but I'd apologized no matter since she is the woman. Thanks for the response
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
25 Aug 09
Mother and daughter sometimes do not see things on the same level. And yes, when we want things or we admire someone and she does not agree to it, we feel bad. Sometimes, when we cannot control things, we would say things that we will regret later on. I understand that you would feel guilty since you feel that you have hurt your mother's feelings. Well, you can apologize to her and say that you did not really mean it at all. What you were mad is what she had said and not to her.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Is it different being mad at her and being mad at her words? In that sense, I guess it would be impossible to be mad at the woman who raised me but I would be angry at the snide comments against my heavily admired actress. Anyhow, I apologized and everything is okay. Thanks for responding
• Malaysia
25 Aug 09
dont worry dear ... mothers are forgiving, they will forget once you hug and kiss her ... btw. i normally have this argument with my husband only ... at least your mother only said it, my husband will ask me to switch it off or change to another chanel if he does not like them ... sometimes i only watch the movies i like by myself cheers
• United States
25 Aug 09
Maybe you can make a deal with your husband so that you can watch his channel for awhile and he could watch yours but it is also fun to enjoy movies by yourself. Mothers are forgiving. She woke up this morning and told me a new episode of my favorite show in available now. ^.^ so forgiving
@sunny5u (2072)
• India
25 Aug 09
Few times this types of things happens to me also.But just think for one minute and answer it.Because we can feel bad for the words others say and become cool afterwards but we should never hurt others with our words.Then they will have confidence on us definitely.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Yes, people we love have confidence in us not to hurt them and it's especially true for family. I'm on good terms with my mother now so I'm happy about that. Thanks for your response
@Hatley (164485)
• Garden Grove, California
25 Aug 09
hi animegirl well us moms are sortof w eird too in that'after after our child or daughter let us say pops off with an irritated'few words we feel guilty too.we wish we thought the same way as you'over the actress or whatever it was. then sometimes we both come out and sayI am sorry I interuptedc your movie and Im sorry I snapped at you mom but I like this Actress. so all gets wellagain. I have hAd my adult son do similar to me and we both felt guiltyand finally both of us had to admit our guilt. families are funny,
• United States
25 Aug 09
I did apologize to her and everything is alright. She still say the actress looks weird since I've been watching that movie a lot lately but she will always have a opinion and it's okay if she does as long as she doesn't force it on me. Thanks for your response
• United States
25 Aug 09
I'm glad you made peace with your mom. I bet she is glad too. Good communication is the key to all healthy relationships.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Thank you. I tell my mother everything going on in my life and she does the same but we still fight sometimes over trivial subjects (things like how weird an actress looks -_-)
@peace001 (727)
• China
25 Aug 09
i am sorry to hear that.you know perhaps she wants to talk with you and share something which happened today,but you focus on the movie,let hie alone. so we should talk with our parent once we are available,you know she needs us.so don't feel so sad ,she will forget it,and you know her love is great and self-giving in the world.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Maybe that is what it is. She does like talking about her workplace a lot. It's a little boring hearing her stories over and over again but when she talks about them, I still listen. She does a lot for me too. Great and self-giving love? So true. Thanks for your response
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
lol my mother always did that back home she didn't like it if I ignored her when watching my favorite star I didn't tell her to shut up or say anything that will make her do that but I kept watching and ignoring her of course it was never worth it to fight her since she would say anything to win the fight but I like what you said to your mom I don't see anything rude about it in fact if I ever live with my mom again I will say the same if she starts acting like that it doesn't make sense anyway, why watch someone if they look weird? unless you like weird looking people :)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Since my mother likes talking during so many of my movies, I ignore her sometimes too and she doesn't seem to mind it. I should control my emotions better next time but I must have been that rude or else she would have been really angry. Thanks for your support. Happy mylotting
@doryvien (2293)
• United States
25 Aug 09
Sounds like a case of generation gap, eh? I am like your mother sometimes, I bash on girls/celebrities who look weird, at least to my liking. Your mother may have been a little rude to you, judging your favorite stars based on her own criteria, but I guess what you did was a little too disrespectful. You could have defended your idols without being, well, rude. The least you can do now is give her a big hug and a kiss, and say a genuine "I'm sorry". When my son does this to me I easily forget his fault. Cheers!
• United States
25 Aug 09
She easily forget my faults too. I think it's great she's so forgiving when I do something wrong so often. Thanks for the response. Happy mylotting
@wjx_fish (44)
• China
25 Aug 09
hi,i think you should apologize to your mother,you know everybody can express his viewpoint,the filmdom got develop every time because of the different viewpoint,So i think the only thing we should do is discuss when we meet different viewpoint not only to made somebody shut up.especially she is your mother,everything she did for you because she love you,did you think when she say that just want to make some talk to you,but she did not konw the actress is your admire. So i think we should consideration our parents evertime,becasue they love us so much.that is my opinion,l want it make some helpful to you.
• United States
25 Aug 09
I know she loves me and I love her too. There's a lot of different films out there for people of different interests. I'll try to be more considerate next time. Thanks for responding
@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
25 Aug 09
Mothers are good at laying guilt trips like that. Does she look weird, yes to your mother she does. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You can not change the past friend, and dwelling on it will only make you feel worse. Go, do what you have to do to get over. Whatever that may be, you know in your heart what it is. Then, take 5 minutes and think what the most wonderful in the world to happen to you could be. Feel the joy of the moment.
• United States
25 Aug 09
Thanks for that. I talked it over with my mother and everything seems okay. I would remember to use your method next time I get into a fight with her again. Happy mylotting