Does change bother you or is it 'just life' to you?
By mommyboo
@mommyboo (13174)
United States
August 26, 2009 8:04am CST
I'm not talking about coins, I'm talking about events or things. I got into it with somebody yesterday (not somebody here) about the fact that I DON'T like change. I don't. Unless I caused it, it doesn't set well with me, especially when there was nothing 'broke' to fix to begin with.
How do you feel about this? Does change bother you - whether it is something small like you expected one thing for lunch and you got something else, whether people are early or late without an explanation, or last minute interruptions that change the course of your whole day, or maybe even a whole month or year.
I bristle at it, I won't lie. I don't like being interrupted, and I don't like people screwing with plans once they are made. Granted, there are sometimes exceptions but it depends on my mood how easily the reason is accepted.
The discussion with my friend turned into them stating that they don't have a need to control things in their life - however, they are always frustrated and seething about 'the lack of control in their life'. Doesn't it seem odd that they'd blast ME about MY ABILITY TO CONTROL MY LIFE? It seems pretty obvious to me that they DO have a need to control things in their life but they aren't doing it! Why do I get attacked because I CAN? I would totally do it for other people who don't seem to be able to do it for themselves! Maybe they'd be happier people.
Bottom line, I think about what makes me happy. Preventing people from taking advantage is very important, and when changes are dropped on me like a bomb, it is super easy for someone TO take advantage. Therefore, I do what I can to limit and minimize any change forced on me to keep my life stable so I don't commit some crime because I'm so angry with people for putting me in a situation where they can take advantage because I'm already off balance.
If you're one of those who EMBRACES change, I'd like to know why. Does it serve you well? Does it somehow make your life better? I wish that had been my experience with it, but it hasn't been. Forced change to me has ALWAYS made my life worse, unless like I said, it was self imposed because it was needed (something was 'broke').
3 people like this
14 responses
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
26 Aug 09
I dont like change either, I hate it. The main kind of changes I am thinking of for me are life changes, for example one that is coming up is my daughter starting nursery school in two weeks time. She will only be gone for 2 and a half hours but its enough of a change for me! I hate changes to plans, like for example my family and I were all supposed to be going out for the day tomorrow and I was really looking forward to it, but now I find out my hubby has to work and so we cannot go! Yes I hate changes of any kind.
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I could have written this post! LOL! I felt the same way when my daughter started preschool. She started kindergarten this year and I was a WRECK for a few weeks! I have now settled down a lot, but now it's not an unknown and I am okay with it.
I would be bothered too if I had plans and then couldn't! I'd probably try to find a way to do it anyway, if there was a way.
@whyiswyh (170)
• Malaysia
27 Aug 09
Changes bother me so much but it is life itself as far as it is from my experience.It is more like forced decision that has put me in a derogatory situation rather than change. Change is good if I can see the importance. However, everyone wanted me to change my attitude but not theirs. Come to think of it, it is an irony. Everyone says change is good but their thoughts and action differs from what they really meant. I am so frustrated and angry at those who changes so easily and it is so fickle-minded. Finally they will throw their blame on me saying that I changed my mind when it was them who make me do forced decision. I would rather love to do stuff that I like than to follow them into a forced decision choice. The thing is they never know how I felt about changes. They would say like oh...changes are okay..changes are good but they won't change for the world..They say I dunno...and they can escape scoot-free. I can't as I am trying to be as respectful to them. One thing that angers me most is they are allowed to be themselves and I have to change. Always changes puts me in a worse position than a better one. Why wouldn't they understand what is the truth rather than saying it is only an opinion. The era changes so fast, nowadays youth and adults have a great disparity and it is not easy to follow the rules as compared to last time. You might think that last time's scenario and current scenario is the same but in actual fact that last time's fact is today's option. It makes me so angry when they don't understand what is obsolete and what is essential. Just my thoughts about changing.I hope none of you will sue me or screw me up after this post
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Hey mommyboo! I, once again am going to have to agree with you!
Thank God! I hate change too! I have never found it go be
my "friend"! I also agree with the "If it isn't broke, don't
fix it!" If something is working, leave it alone! I don't like
to be forced into doing things either, especially if it isn't
my idea and if it isn't going to suit me! I don't know if I
think that I have to be in control, but maybe I do in a way!
I never looked at it from that point of view, just that I
hate change! I have a friend that says that to me all the
time, but I don't see her changing either! Sort of like your
friend and her life is a mess from what I can see too! She
basically has a big mouth when it comes to me, but she can
never admit when she's wrong and she is wrong alot! I was
doing her a favor Sunday by writing a letter for her and she
was screaming at me and I wanted to knock her out! She is
just a beotch and thinks she knows it all, but yet SHE needed
MY help with the letter! It's things like that which she does
that make me want to kill her? She wants to be in control,
but she is out of control! Does that make sense? (We need to
talk)So I do totally understand where YOU are coming from
because I think somewhat on the same level and don't see that
there's anything wrong with way of thinking!
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I think we were separated at birth and we are really soul siblings or something lol. Almost every time I read a post from you, I could have written it. I HATE being forced into things, although if you can talk me into thinking it's my idea, I may go along with it because then I can own it. I'm sure I'm only like this because there was a point in time when I was forced into always doing things someone else's way. I hated it back then too. Now that I can buck the system and I never really HAVE TO do it someone else's way, I make sure that I DON'T. Having to live through that really has made me stiff and I don't feel like bending. I don't think I would care as much if I had never gone through that, or if I had the type of personality where I just didn't care about much. I have a strong personality though and my main goal is not to just make everybody around me happy and appease tension. My goal is for ME to be happy too.
I don't need to be in control of everything, just MY life, so things that affect my life count. Many times I feel like the people who get all whiny and think I don't have the right to control what affects MY OWN life are somehow miffed or jealous because they can't seem to control THEIR lives. That's all I can figure, because otherwise why would they get whiny and think that? I NEVER think it's bad for people I know to control what affects their lives. In fact, I praise them for it! Why can't people do that for me?
@chillpill90 (1936)
•
26 Aug 09
change is just a way of life everything changes and we need to learn to accept changes.
2 people like this
@thebeaddoodler (4262)
• Lubbock, Texas
26 Aug 09
I've always wanted to settle into a nice comfy rut and stay there, but somehow something always happened to my nice comfy rut and I had to climb out of it or get buried in a mudslide or something. The older I got the harder it was to accept change, but I have learned to accept the fact that without change life gets stagnant. If a change gets dropped in my lap, I b@tch and moan for a while and then start channeling the direction of the change because if I don't - -well once again I get caught in the mudslide.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Oh, I change when I have to but my overwhelming desire is to either prevent it, or steer it the way *I* want to go. Case in point, changing plans. Once I was on the way to a movie with a friend and we got in a car accident. We weren't hurt, but the whole thing turned into a huge hassle. I told him that I still really wanted to see the movie so we'd just go to a later showing once we dealt with the police report since my car was still driveable, just damaged. He thought it was odd but I told him that our day had already been ruined, I really wanted to see the movie and regain a little bit of normalcy. I was 19 when that happened, I would still do that today. As far as other changes, I b*tch and moan too, and I also come up with decent reasons why the change is not necessary - especially if it was something just DROPPED on people like a bomb for no reason. Occasionally people see my point but most of the time they don't. I still try, I can't not try. Sometimes I get enough information and then I DO embrace the change because I finally see the point, sometimes I don't have a problem with it from the beginning because there truly WAS a point. I just wish that people could all be convinced there was a point BEFORE anybody implemented something that threw most people into a tizzy.
@AndrewFreyne (6281)
• United Kingdom
27 Aug 09
I'm not too keen on change myself although I don't think that this is a good attitude for me as I realise that change is going to take place whether I like it or not! I like to feel that I am in control of my life, I like to know where I stand and unfortunately change does not help me in relation to this. Change is part of life I guess, we've probably heard this countless times! I have certain plans and goals and I'm thinking that change may pop in somewhere along the line to disrupt them, I hope this isn't the case but you never can tell when it comes to life! I'm trying to adopt a new attitude whereby I welcome change as I feel that it may turn me into a stronger person in time, it may help in the building of my character. Anyway, I like to think that I am in control of my life and if there are any changes that need to take place I want to make sure that I make them and that they are not dropped into my life like a ton of bricks! Andrew
@EliteUser (3964)
• Australia
22 Sep 09
Hey,
No, change doesn't really bother me, I think that it is all about life. If nothing would change in our lives, then every single thing would be the same, and it would get quite boring if you ask me. Make sure you have a good day, God bless and Happy Lotting!!
@wonttakelong (3555)
• United States
26 Aug 09
Because of my OCD and anxiety disorder I dont deal well with change
logically I know its part of life and it symbolizes growth but I dont like it
it throws me off and it takes me forever to readjust
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
I often wonder if I'm ocd lol. I don't have anxiety, nothing to the point where it affects my life, and I'm also not ADD. I rarely get bored, I'm not even sure what that would feel like. If I like something I could do it forever. If I don't like something, I could just never do it again and I'd be happy.
If growth is always going to be so crappy I just don't need to grow any more, that's my take on it. It takes me awhile to readjust too, for me I need to know everything to be comfortable. Once I know I also need to know what I can do to change anything I DON'T like. When I have some semblance of control, then I can again function normally. It's not knowing and not having a way to prevent things I don't want from happening that cause issues for me.
@pankajugale (69)
• India
27 Aug 09
This question is slightly difficult to answer because changes can be classified into two categories i.e A good change and a bad change. Good changes often makes your life more comfortable and happy. for example: Falling in love can be categorized in good change, because suddenly in your lonely life , you find someone to care and to think of. so it obviously a good change i would say its a change in life that everybody deserves. But on the other hand if you take a look at bad side of change , its nearly unbearable. for example we can take losing any near and dear one. its a bad change in our life. For so many years you live with a particular person and suddenly the person gets away from you too quickly that you can't console and stabilize yourself.
So i would say there is nothing you can do about the change in the life but to see the life changing, so conclusion can be drawn that whatever change happens to your life just go ahead accept it get with it and live with it. After all it's yourn own life.
@taztheone (1721)
• India
26 Aug 09
Once Upon a time even I didn't like changes at all. Then I learned that changes are a part of life. It is the fact of life that changes will happen. No two days are similar, even you are not the same after 10yrs. Once I transformed into a position where i like changes, I feel that now i cant live the in a same place or on a same condition. Even i rearrange my home every month, not to mention I keep my mobile updated every week with new ringtones & screen savers.
Once you get the hang of it, you feel good about the happening around you & the changes happening to you.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
You'll laugh at me then... I tend to keep the same backgrounds and ringtones, I usually keep a purse till it falls apart, I'm just comfortable with familiarity. If I want something different, I'll go for something different but not generally with things I'm super used to. If I change too many things at once, then I don't realize it's MY text or email alert, I don't think it's MY phone ringing, etc etc.
@suchi60 (912)
• India
27 Aug 09
Cange is imperative, whether you like it or not and the best way forward is to adjust and live with it. Cribbing over change will not change things and this can only lead to further depression, so thae best thing for you, my friend, is to accept change as part of evolution and go with it.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
31 Aug 09
It just irritates me. I'm all prepared and ready for one thing and then something else happens and I'm suddenly unprepared. Nobody can prepare for everything, although I do try to have basic things set aside. I can handle most things, even a crisis or emergency but when something is not a crisis nor an emergency and just brought on because someone else wants to be a moron, it really gets under my skin. I know I do whatever I can to not CHANGE things up on people last minute. I think it's a pretty rude and disrespectful thing to do.
