Am I old fashioned in that I believe if you love someone you dont cheat on them?

Not at all. I think, if you enter into a relationship and think that you are going to cheat on your partner, then I suggest you don't. In the process, you will be hurting other people. I hold the same philosophy as you do and I still do not get why other people cheat on their partners. For me, it is the worst way for a relationship to fall apart. I can understand it much better if one partner would admit to falling out of love instead of cheating with another person. I believe this is such a painful experience and would not want others (my partner, to be specific) to go through that ordeal.

If what you say is the rule and not the exception, I feel that we as a people have began to loose our way. Even if you did not bring religion into the discussion there should be a certain amount of respect and loyalty to the person you are with, especially if married. To on one hand profess to love someone but then on the other be with someone else is the worse form of disrespect. If you have pledged yourself to one, and that relationship is good, why would you ever want to disrespect it. If in saying this you can be thought of as old fashioned then clearly I am and proud of it. I believe in honer, respect and trustworthiness. If you are not any of these then you should never be in a serious relationship? If you can't be trusted in a relationship then where could you ever be trusted? Good post and you are far from being simplistic. If someone feels you are, they do not understand the problem.

The whole idea of a relationship today is 'I will live with you through thick and thin ..... until I find something better!!' With that sort of attitude it is no wonder that relationships don't last. Please! There is always someone better to be found - that is until you have lived with them for a while and then amazingly you find out they are not perfect. haha

I don’t believe it has anything to do with being old fashioned Hatley but it has everything to do with living with a certain amount of honesty and integrity. Cheating hurts, it is one of the worst betrayals of love and if the 'L' word has been spoken in a relationship and two people are exclusive to each other cheating should not be tolerated; if you are not happy with the one you’re with, get out only then you will be free to see somebody else; that’s my take on it.

Hello my friend Like I mentioned in your other discussion my eyes are playing tricks on me so I will respond to this in the am when I am fresh just wanted you to know I saw this, I do agree with you and you are so right I see this myself and ask the question, what the heck are you thinking putting up with this. I shall return.

Being faithful to one person is not old fashioned, but it is depending on the person's mind. Some do a courtship for fun, so do for serious matter. If that's out of dated, i'd rather be a conservative person then. And living together, i don't think it's necessary. It is may if we are married. By sleep togetherbefore that period, will cause sin.And that sin will influence you after you married. Sorry to say this, but i have to tell you the truth before you step too far.

Yes, I think you are being old-fashioned but not in a negative kind of way. I believe I am old-fashioned too. And that is the way it's suppose to be anyway. Who ever said that whatever is new then it's the right thing to do? It's not only the modern thinking that is right. No wonder people nowadays have more miserable lives and things are a lot more complicated than the old days. During the times of our grandparents, living together without marriage is not allowed, cheating on spouses is not tolerated and divorce is never an option. I like it that way and I want to live my life the old-fashioned way before I believe it's a much better way to live our lives

i think what it comes down to these days is boredom. we are an instant society and if someones needs arent being met, they move on. i think faithfulness has gone by the wayside because people just dont want to wait or make an effort.

Well if your old fashioned then so am I. I believe that if you feel that strongly about wanting to cheat then your not really happy being married. If your that unhappy then you need to make some changes. I think when you cheat your only succeeding in hurting the one your married to. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

That is terribly old fashioned, Hatley. It's also called love I don't know what to call those that take a cheater back, maybe it's just lust or something

If you are old-fashioned in your beliefs, then I am too. I detest it when I hear of someone cheating on their partner or spouse. My first marriage ended in divorce, largely because my ex-husband didn't remain faithful. I think that monogamy should be expected whenever you are in a relatonship, and I also feel that a person who is dating should make it known whether or not they plan to date monogamously or date around. The fact that there are so many cheaters in the world is definately not new news, it dates way back in history when it was common practice for a man to cheat on his wife, and whether she knew or not, she stood by him because there was no divorce. I think that even then, it was wrong to cheat. I can say that I firmly believe that those who remain faithful in relationships will find more pleasure and happiness in life than those who cheat.

Being trustworthy, loyal, and committed to a relationship is not old fashioned. Cheating has been around for centuries. You might say cheating is old fashioned. Tomorrow is my 32nd wedding anniversary. Here is a little secret that we have learned in our family. My mother tried this and we have too! I prayed for the person I should be with. I did not wait for the person to drop out of the sky. I spent time in education, working, living, and socializing with people. By the time the person I was meant to be with came along I knew who he was by who the other people were not. There are no perfect people in this world but you usually get what you expect. I expected someone with values, kindness, integrity. There are many good young men walking the straight and narrow even in the single life, looking for a girl with those same values. The world will try to scream at you that you are out of step. Honey, if they think you are old fashioned, check to see where they are at in 30 years and where you are at. P.S. When you say, "I do," that is when the praying should really start. My mother always said that marriage was one of the hardest things you would ever do. She was right, but it is so worth it. Know who you are. Don't ever sell yourself short and expect someone to cheat on you or abuse you in any other way. Have a heart to give and love. Be strong and live life on the high side. Oh, and living together is for the birds. You ain't got a thing until you have the ring and your children have a real daddy!

Hello Hatley. No, you're not old fashioned, and regardless of the trends and statistics, I personally know many people of all ages are faithful to the partner they love, married or not. It is such a precious trust, that once broken, it is hard (though not impossible) to rebuild the relationship. I would never ever want to do to another that thing I would hate done to me. Nor would I stay with someone who simply could not remain faithful. It simply must be a sacred thing to truly work ... in my personal opinion. Good discussion. Karen

I think the woman in the relationship wants to believe that her man won't cheat again. That he's seen the error of his ways. I think every woman that's been cheated on and then gave her man a second chance is hoping that they are that rare statistic. Also men have a way of convincing some of us that it was just a one time thing. A moment of weakness. A lapse in judgement. yada, yada, yada.

I don't think it should be old fashion but I see it alot. I think young lady shouldn't put up with it and throw them out. I have been married a long time and would never put up with cheating. If you put up with it it is going to happen. If every woman would stand up and say no more most of this cheating would stop.

I definitely do not think that cheating is right whatsoever. I don't think you are old-fashion in that respect. If a woman or a guy is with another person that constantly cheats, then they have no self respect for themselves. I think the living together after you are married is definitely more old fashion. But then again, I am currently living with my boyfriend. It's hard to live apart, especially with the prices of rent and whatnot, we can't afford to live on our own. That's a huge reason that we are living together without being married. But also then again we have been together for 4 years, so this is definitely a long term relationship and we do plan on getting married.

Hi Hatley, I don't think peo0ple know the meaning of love these days when you would give your life for some you love so I reall y think there is not enough love for each other or maybe on the man's part for his partner if he is going to cheat tie and time again, I just think its lust not love. Tamara

Hello Hatley, I am 24 years old now so you can classify me as "young" or "modern" but I do have my moral values very deeply rooted in me, thanks to the upbringing of my parents. I think it is totally fine to be loyal to one partner. The people who keep running after women/men and cheat their partners all the time will never have peace of mind. One of mistake is okay and it would depend on the situation whether the person can be forgiven or not but it should not be habitual.

No I couldn't tolerate repeated flings. It would show immaturity to me. Thankfully me and my partner have always been faithful. But I have noticed too that it is something that is becoming very rare indeed!

I believe that although cheating is wrong I still think that you can love someone even while you cheat on them. There are many reasons why people cheat and although it's not an excuse it's a reason. If someone cheated on me I don't think I would end the relationship without talking to them to find out why they did it and what they want.