Silent for her parents

@taztheone (1726)
India
August 28, 2009 10:27am CST
Last day there was an Incident where a girl had to choose between her parents to live with. Its bad to hear that her parents were finally divorced & since the girl was a minor, the court asked her Opinion to choose with whom she needs to stay. The girl was silent!!. Hence the court gave the verdict that she stays with mother! What do you say? If ever you where at her place, what would have you chose for??
13 responses
• United States
28 Aug 09
My parents divorced when I was really young and the courts decided that I should live with my dad because of my mom's poor financial situation. The woman he married afterwards was really mean and abusive. It took nearly four years for my mom and her new husband to get me back and into a healthy environment again. If I had been given the choice it would have been to stay with my mom. If my dad would not have been getting married to such an evil person then I would not have minded living with my dad. But it is very hard to have to choose which to live with. I feel very much for the little girl.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
To be honest, its really sad to hear such stories. All we can do is sympathize on them & nothing more. I always tried to do my best to help people in mental pain. I think people should be understanding, caring & more loving so as to avoid such problems. I wonder why you Dad didn't say anything to her if she was torturing you!
• United States
28 Aug 09
My father drove a truck and was gone for weeks at a time. She didn't do anything in front of him. It was not until he finally caught her in the act like the third time and there was no denying the marks. He finally divorced her when he could no longer believe her over me and that she was not going to stop. After that, I went to live with my mother and stepfather.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
I only heard of such stories & never thought I would actually hear it from someone. Don't worry things will be good in future as time will certainly give you something good.
@vandana7 (57210)
• India
28 Aug 09
Really unfortunate for the child. I wish the parents would realize what turmoil the child is going thru for their inability to adjust to each other. Somebody I know in person once said keeping a marriage intact requires a lot of intelligence. We cannot really fathom the pain of tender hearts. And they dont say much as they dont have a way to express themselves as yet. Is it so difficult to adjust to each other for the sake of that little bundle of joy? But I think choosing mother was wiser. This is because a girl child, rather any child finds it easier to confide in mother. There can be pedophiles, and other problems that only a mother can protect the child from. If the child was to be left with her father, she would hesitate to tell such things. More so because her father would have many male friends, and she wouldnt be able to express what she is going thru. I wish her all the best from the bottom of my heart.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
Very well said, Keeping marriage intact really needs intelligence as well as understanding & love so that the young hearts wont get hurt. I think people should think about others atleast about those in the family.
• India
28 Aug 09
Thats a tough one. Poor girl. If a child is equally happy with either parents, then it's impossible for the child to choose. I hope the Jude made the right decision. I think if I had been in her shoes, I too would have just remained silent. I wouldn't be able to choose. The judge would have had to choose for me, using his better judgment.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
Choosing between parents to me is one of the most toughest decisions one could ever make!. I can only wish that such situations should not happen much as I just can't imagine the child's mental condition.
• India
29 Aug 09
Sure. But it mat have been even tougher for the child if the parents stayed together, perhaps they were fighting too much, or the husband was abusive, so in the longrun it may have been better for the child mental condition this way. Sometimes I child knows which parents it wants to be with but being so stunned and nervous it can't speak infront of the crowd. Perhaps the child had spoken to the judge behind the doors.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
Well That's great, always coming up with some interesting scenarios & trying to see all the faces of a coin!. Well what if it's this way that both father & mother loved that child a lot & he too loved both of them & its just their misunderstanding or lack of compatibility which led to divorce, then comes the real side!!
• United States
29 Aug 09
This is the hardest thing to do and you need a tough decision of it.You cannot decide specially when you still kids.If ever i will decide i would rather to choose MOM specially the day when i go to school because the father will very busy to his job..Thats what ive heard of my friend too...Thanks
• United States
29 Aug 09
Yes parents are responsible for them but you need to choose between Mom or dad...
• United States
29 Aug 09
Thats life we need to move on if that happen.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
Generally Mothers are more gentle & caring in nature. Mothers love is the best you can get in this earth. however it is always incomplete without fathers love.
• China
30 Aug 09
hi,taztheone,it is a serious topic for me ,i am sorry to hear the girl's misfortune.As the parents should give the child a good atmosphere to live,if there is no love between them,they should choose the best way to solve the problem which will not hurt the child,for the child is innocent.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
31 Aug 09
This is the reason why I prefer love marriage over Arranged marriages(as in some countries). Its better to marry a partner whom we know about than marrying an unknown partner. The important fact here is Love. the partner should be loving & understanding so as to avoid any problems in future.
• India
29 Aug 09
first of all i feel sad for that poor little girl...asking a child to choose from her parents is like asking which eye do you want among the two you have..
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
That's right you, gave a nice comparison.
@kcoregon (303)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Well I think either way it is hard. When I was four my parents divorced and my brother went to live with my mom and I stayed and lived with my dad. They chose this because my dad did not want to be without at least one of his children. Less than a year later he decided he couldn't raise a child on his own and sent me to live with my mom. Apparently I was a daddy's girl and was really upset when I went to live with my mom and thus begun our strained relationship. As for if it were me in court and who I would chose it would depend on my parents. Whoever I had the bigger attachment to would be my first choice. If the attachment was equal I couldn't decide.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
Oh that's really sad. There is one thing that I'm not so clear of, why is that your dad couldn't raise you. If You were suffering over there then its fine, otherwise if I had a child, I'll go & plough the fields & make money if money was the problem or else I would have done anything to keep my little angel happy. Don't worry, even though you suffered a lot, you will get a lot of love in your life from some way or the other!
@jasmeena (850)
• Indonesia
29 Aug 09
What a sad story!I can`t say anything..i agree with the opinion that couple who has minor shouldn`t divorce..It really affects them psychologically..couple must understand the essence of marriage, and try to improve it when they have problems, and think about the future of their children`s life
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
Once the couples take some decisions, they really don't like the the idea of going back. If its divorce, then divorce. Some times a little bit of bend down can do wonders, even though I agree that there are scenarios where either one of then cruel or not good in their character.
@mrshughes (352)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
Oooh i feel very sad for the little girl. I cant imagine myself to be in that case. If i have to choose, i think i will just be silent like her. I will never know what to do or say. I feel very sorry for her.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
Its really nice that such a situation didn't come in our own lives! & I really feel bad for my friends situations.
• Malaysia
29 Aug 09
Well this seems to be a tough decision to make. Its just like asking whether you want your left eyes or your right eyes. Its hard to see without both eyes. I would say its very important for parents to decide on their divorce if they have a child. If you do not have a child then its just your own life is concerned but when you have a child, furthermore a minor child, dunt the major couples have the sense to think of the little girl.i would say they are selfish parents.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
I agree that parents should be responsible enough to take care of their children rather than causing such pain to them
• India
29 Aug 09
Its very hard to chose between your parents.Its truly like chosing between your two eyes and from what you say i think that the girl is a child and children needs both their parents.It would not have been the same if the girl is an elder but with children its different they need both and I don't know what made their parents to divorce but before getting divorced if they have thought atleast once about what would happen to their daughter if they are divorced then they would have done like that.All parents those are going for divorse now a days think that if there is enough money with them they can take care of their children but along with money both parents should be there for a child.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
29 Aug 09
In today's world, people think of themselves & for their happiness. Many marriages can be mend back with a little understanding, a little sacrifice & with some love.
• India
28 Aug 09
It is very hard to chose from parents so i would pray to for never put in this condition to anybody. It is very sad incidence because child requires both father as well as mother. It is not a toy that child has to select one. Child requires both father and mother that is why he has created male and female as a parents.Both father and mother take responsibility of child differently because of gender , so both are required in one's life. have a nice day!!
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
I completely agree to what you've said. Its true that a child need both parents attention to live up a normal life.
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
28 Aug 09
Choose between living with my dad or my mom? I think this could be the worst case ever, and the hardest thing to do especially for kids. That's why I wouldn't suggest a married couple to divorce if they still have minors in their family. It would leave a very deep scar on their memory and mind. If I were the kid, I would choose to live with my daddy. When I was younger, I was closer to my dad, so that would be my answer if I were in her position when I was younger. But now... if it happens to me, I wouldn't choose anyone. I am old enough to live by myself, and I am so glad that my parents are still get along together.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
28 Aug 09
Very truly said. This would be one of the worst scenarios for a child to go through. It will be one of the most toughest decisions to choose for kids. You know there is a trend that girls likes father more& boys like their mothers.