Do you sometimes find it hard to choose a best response for your discussions?

Woman Thinking - Okay lets try this again, this is my third attempt to add a picture this lol!

I was just going to add the picture of the woman by herself but that was a little boring and so I decided to make use of a dusty photoshop and create a banner thing for this instead. So I did one, added it, didn't like it, and after some more editing we shall see if this looks better.

This is an image anyway showing someone thinking about which response to choose :)

Dranz
August 29, 2009 5:45am CST
I was just reading the responses of an older discussion I did and I found it really hard to pick the best response since everyone had just been so open and helpful in their answers, and so I had to go for the one that spoke to my heart while teaching me something at the same time. Honestly though I was there for ages trying to choose between them they were all so good. Do you have this problem on occasions, and if you do how do you eventually choose the best response? Many thanks and happy mylotting, Dranz
8 people like this
16 responses
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Hello my wonderful friend It is hard to pick the best from some many good responses, I guess we have to do what works best for us, I don't start many discussions so I don't have that issue to often, when I do like you said I go with the one that stands out sometimes two may stand out but we can only pick one, I guess it would be a good idea to stick with the one who advice you will actually take or the one that touched a certain something in your heart, not really easy no matter how we look at it, there are some really great posters out here
2 people like this
2 Sep 09
Hi Kitty, I have noticed that you don't start many new discussions. For some reason I had always had you down as one of the people who started a lot, not sure why lol! I probably would be one of those people had I not learnt about the maintenance aspect of new discussions. I have too much to catch up on to start too many at the moment lol! I like how you described your choosing process. I sometimes wish I could pick 2 best responses as it is so hard to pick between them! Oh well, I guess that is a good sign since it means our discussions deserve the best mylot can offer lol! Many thanks for the response :) Dranz
1 person likes this
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
3 Sep 09
Hello my friend No I don't start many sometimes I will think of something and then I will start 1 like now I have a idea for one but for some reason I always have so many notifications and when you respond like I do I guess that comes along with it, but I will start discussions once I get the hang of this whole thing as for right now responding works good for me,Thanks for the response my friend see how long it took me to respond to this I am so backed up grrr
3 Sep 09
Kitty ~ Hugs ~ I think the way you are doing this could be a touch on the incorrect side. I mean reading that response there I got the sense that you were looking like this --- and a ready to snap mylot in two and storm off. If you want to start a new discussion then I think you should. No one will begrudge you that, and they definitely won't get annoyed if you take some time to respond. that is something I have learnt from my discussions about the inner workings of mylot. Mylotters understand what it is like to get such a backlog and stuff, so don't worry okay? All the best Dranz
@thea09 (18327)
• Greece
29 Aug 09
Hi DCLehnsherr, well I do my 'housekeeping' regularly as a friend referred to giving out BR's earlier. It doesn't take long and it clears down your own unresolved list. I always give a best response as people in general seem to appreciate receiving them, as I do myself, and it's just courtesy to do it when we have the chance.I don't find it difficult to choose as something will usually stand out. Another good reason for doing it is that if you get a comment from the reciever thanking you it will move your discussion back into play so new people will see it and maybe respond.
1 person likes this
2 Sep 09
Hi thea, Doesn't the act of giving a BR close the discussion? I mean not in the sense that it is locked and can't accept new responses, but more that when someone sees there is a BR they then decide not to answer? I don't go out seeking discussions from which I can get a BR, but when I see that there is a BR chosen I tend to go and find a different discussions that hasn't been resolved so I can add to it and maybe help the person resolve the issue. When I come to resolve my own I tend to use the BR as a way to do that so it can fall to the bottom of my discussion list out of the way. Many thanks for the response :) Dranz
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18327)
• Greece
2 Sep 09
Also some discussions are of the frolicking fun nature which never require any resolution but will still at some point receive a BR but are just tremendous fun to create or join in on. See my leaderboard disc of today as an example of just joining in for fun.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18327)
• Greece
2 Sep 09
Hello owlings, we haven't met before but I have seen some of your well composed responses. You may be glad that a comment I made on page one of this last week resulted in a change of heart with one disillusioned of giving out best responses now returned to the practice with full vigour. It's nice to have a little influence on here. When I have received a best response within hours of responding I have felt guilty as due consideration was not given to the other possible respondees.
@owlwings (39738)
• Cambridge, England
31 Aug 09
I often have the greatest difficulty choosing a 'Best Response'. Some discussions genuinely cannot have a 'Best Response' because each response may be a personal view and there is really no way that any response can be better than others (there may be some which you can immediately say do not qualify but there may also be many which are equal candidates). I usually do 'BR' in 'batch mode' ... in other words, I suddenly think 'OMG ... I have all these unresolved discussions I need to deal with!' and open the list and start from the bottom. Many of them are many months old, so have probably had all the exposure they're going to get. Really, a Best Response can only be applicable when you have asked a question that demands a specific (and complete) answer. Often, the concept doesn't fit well with what I (and, I hope, MyLot) define as a 'discussion'. In these cases, I tend to give 'BR' to those people whose responses have the longest tail of comments (because these are usually the most interesting). I also, though, award plusses to everyone who I think made a significant and thoughtful contribution. Sometimes I'll add a comment to say "Sorry I wasn't able to give BR to you too!" If in doubt (as I often am), I will try to award BR in rotation - there are usually individuals who routinely qualify for BR so, if I haven't given it to them in one discussion, they will often be a strong candidate in another. All in all, I would rather see a rating system where the discussion owner has more weight than others but where everyone has a chance to vote for BR and the final decision is due to popular preference rather than an individual whim.
1 person likes this
2 Sep 09
Hi Owl, Wow I just loved your idea of leaving comments to people who you think also deserved a BR. I don't think I would have seen that on my own, but it sounds like a fantastic idea, and one I will definitely use in the future with the heartfelt topics. I agree what you said regarding those as well. When someone pours their heart into something for me I feel bad about choosing between them. The way you explained about topics that shouldn't have a BR was interesting as well, I haven't come across that idea before. Not sure I would want to have the BR as a public vote though, I can only imagine that resolving things would take a long time if we had to do that, I wonder too how many members would actually vote. Oh well... Many thanks for this response, it was a completely fascinating read :) Dranz
1 person likes this
2 Sep 09
PS: For making me think and teaching me so much you got the BR this time. I just loved your answer :) Dranz
1 person likes this
@owlwings (39738)
• Cambridge, England
2 Sep 09
Thanks, Dranz! You make good discussions and you get good responses. I sympathise with you when it comes to giving BR in some discussions. I sometimes leave mine for months before I pluck up courage to deal with them!
• Australia
29 Aug 09
I also have that problem sometimes when I have to go back and choose a best response for a discussion I have started a long time ago. I think that if someone has really helped you out with a post, then give them the best response. If there are no helpful posts don't just give out the best response for the sake of it, I wouldn't give out the best response at all.
1 person likes this
29 Aug 09
Hi pweety_princess, Ahhh, you know for some reason I hadn't thought of not giving one if all the responses are useless, though when you said that it suddenly made the 'unresolved' section of the site seem a lot more sensible! I hope I never have the problem from that angle though, it would be horrible to imagine never getting good responses on a discussion lol! Many thanks for your rather enlightening response :) Dranz
• Australia
30 Aug 09
Even though you'd like to give a best response to a discussion with a response that doesn't even help, it's better if you don't if the post is not helpful. Why give person credit for not being helpful? I know it's annoying sometimes since you want to get that discussion out of the unresolved sections, but I seem to ignore that section and barely even visit it.
2 Sep 09
Hi Pweety, I haven't been visiting that section either to be honest. I think I did once really early so I could see what it was, but since then I stay away from it and just go to my discussions via the 'started' tab instead. It feels much friendlier lol :) Dranz
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Aug 09
hi dclehnsherr hAtley here.I quite often run into that problem' because so many mylotters are very inteligent and give great responses too.So I read and reread and pick the one that shows'the most time taken maybe in being clear and checking for typos,or'maybe the person seems to know a little more on the topic than the others. those I give the best responces to.
1 person likes this
2 Sep 09
Hi Hatley, I have definitely seen that mylotters are very intelligent. I think that is what I really like about this place, even if it does make choosing BR's really difficult lol! I like the fact you pick BR's by time ken, you sound to work in the same way that mylot does when it comes to earnings lol Many thanks for the response :) Dranz
@webearn99 (1744)
• India
29 Aug 09
That certainly is the case. If I get several responses that I appreciate, I do get confused. Sometimes it gets so hard that I have to go by other considerations such as presentation of the argument and such things. It is agonizing.
1 person likes this
29 Aug 09
Hey webearn99, You definitely sound like someone with experience of this problem. I like the way you chose the responses though, thinking about presentation of the argument, I will definitely remember that for the future. Many thanks for the response :) Dranz
@vandana7 (67531)
• India
29 Aug 09
Yes I do DCLehnsherr. In such cases, I select the first person who mentions all the points as briefly as possible. I do have an opinion on debates that I raise. I look for answers that will change my opinion with very concrete reasoning. It rarely happens. I remember tdemex is one person who did that in one of my discussion, and I had no problem whatsoever in deciding that one. :-) Most mylotters write what some of the previous posts have already stated, only in a different language. :-)
29 Aug 09
Hey vandana7, Wow that must have been an amazing response for you to remember it even now, I look forward to that experience in the future should I start debates. I normally do this to learn, so I guess I pick the response that has taught me the most about a certain topic though this does cause me problems when I learn lots of things from different people and have to choose between them lol! Many thanks for sharing and happy mylotting :) Dranz
@Sandra1952 (6052)
• Spain
29 Aug 09
Hello Dranz. At least you think about your best response. I've visited discussions where there are only a few responses and the discussion has been open for a few hours, yet the best response has already been chosen. To me, this signals that the discussion leader is never going back to that discussion, whether she gets more responses or not. I like to leave at least a week before allocating a BR, unless one of the responses just leaps out at me. If it's a fun discussion, I choose the response that made me laugh the most, and with other discussions, it's the one that has been most informative or most appropriate. If no response sticks out from the rest, don't feel obliged to award a BR.
29 Aug 09
Hey Sandra, I have gone to a few discussions today and come across that problem and so have left again because it didn't feel right responding there. I think when I first joined I chose a BR quickly, but then someone reminded me of the FAQ and the 7 day thing it advises, and now I try to give people time to respond before choosing a BR. I will definitely take your advice that if none leap out I don't choose a BR, that was something I had been wondering about before, and it does seem to make sense to give someone a chance to post a best response, even if it is months down the line lol. Many thanks for the response and happy mylotting :) Dranz
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
Yes we do Dranz. I think everyone spend a hard time to select a best response. By the way, i want to congratulate you first for having a very good reputation. A 10 for just posting 142 responses. Totally admire you there. Sometimes, to avoid wasting time, i select the longest or sometimes if i get really lazy for waiting the loading part,i select the very first person who respond to my discussion.
1 person likes this
29 Aug 09
Hey koalapenguin (awesome name by the way), And here I was thinking I had the 10 ranking because I had posted so few responses and so people hadn't got round to marking me down yet lol! Thank you for the congratulations though, you just made my day :) I have definitely noticed that the longer the response someone gives me, the more included I am to give them the best response. Though choosing between longer responses is murder because of all the reading required lol! Many thanks for this lovely response, you really did put a smile on my face :) Dranz
• United Kingdom
29 Aug 09
I used to give a best response in my previous discussions but then I got thinking that it really doesn't matter whether I give a best response or not. I tend to like posts that are quite indepth! A lot of effort and thinking time has gone into these posts and so I think that they probably deserve a best response but I guess I kind of gave up the habit! Nice communicating with you again Dranz. Andrew
29 Aug 09
Hey Andrew, I like the idea of picking best responses to give someone that little buzz of knowing they were chosen, I have had a few and it always gives me a happy jolt so I have started to like doing that for other people lol! That and I think it closes discussions that get too old, it seems to close new discussions anyway lol! It will be interesting to see if after a few months here I become the same, I could have the newbie love of resolution or something at the moment lol. Many thanks for your response :) Dranz
@thea09 (18327)
• Greece
29 Aug 09
Hi Andrew, do you like to receive best responses at all? If someone made a blanket statement that they'd given up the habit it wouldn't enhance their reputation in my mind. I never write a thing expecting or hoping for a best response but if I had two discussions only to choose between and one was in the habit of giving and one was not then I'd go with the former. Maybe you can slip back into your old ways as I do actually believe it does have some effect on your own rating when you do this.
• Philippines
30 Aug 09
I promise myself that i would take a peek on my old discussions but unfortunately i broke that promise again and start doing responses and comments. choosing the best response, basically the response would be close to your topic or answer to your topic. mine is almost completely endless query
2 Sep 09
Hi Letran, I can only go around and look at my old discussions when I am looking at new ones in another tab. Doing it the other way is enjoyable, but doesn't feel as fulfilling somehow lol! Good luck choosing your BR's in the future and looking at those old discussions (if you haven't already done it lol) Dranz
• United States
30 Aug 09
hey there DCL again lol:)and i just went threw all my past threads and wow..that was hard!! i sat here reading everyones posts and id look over and over until i felt there was just ONE best response..and i hate it because there were soo many that had awesome responses back to me,i wish we were aloud to give at most 3.lol..but i pick whatever one helped me the most,and there were even a few that made mew laugh so hard i just had to give them props..have a good one! April
2 Sep 09
Hi April, Ahh you came across this the same way I did (and probably will again as I need to go and resolve some more discussions lol). I have definitely got to agree with the 3 BR idea, I would love to be able to chosen more than one on the really heart felt topics, it seems bad choosing one over the other in those. Many thanks for sharing and good luck choosing in the future lol :) Dranz
@levyx22 (187)
• United States
29 Aug 09
Yes, it is sometimes very difficult to find best response to some of the discussions. Many of the answers are good and full of knowledge, but when it comes down to it, you just know the one that it should be. I appreciate all of the people that participate in my discussions, even though there aren't many, which is why it makes it a tad bit easier for me to pick a best response.
29 Aug 09
Hey Levyx22, I really like that idea that we just know which response to pick. That is a lovely way of putting it. I have to agree on the joy of picking from a few responses only. I have really grown to appreciate that and can't imagine choosing from like 40 or 50, it must be murder lol. Many thanks for sharing :) Dranz
• Malaysia
29 Aug 09
I have yet to do this. I have very few postings. Anyway, I think I must have a criteria for choosing a best response. Like you, I think it must be a response that touches the core of my heart. It must also be logical and implementable, as the case may be.
29 Aug 09
Hi gracefuldove, I wish you luck choosing your first best response when the time comes, it is an enjoyable (albeit occasionally hard) process but definitely worth it :) Many thanks for the response and happy mylotting :) Dranz
@joyce959 (1562)
• Philippines
29 Aug 09
Hi Dranz. I also have some problem in giving best response. I still have some unresolved discussions until now. I guess it will take time for me to give best response for some discussions. I chose the best response depending on whether i was satisfied with the answer or it is the most appropriate discussion to my topic.
29 Aug 09
Hey Joyce, I can see myself having unresolved discussions for a while too, though hopefully because I can't choose, rather than having none to choose lol! I like how you pick yours through satisfaction. That is probably part of how I choose mine since the satisfying ones are more likely to speak to me. Many thanks for sharing :) Dranz
@bingchen (1126)
• China
29 Aug 09
yes,i found that i have met this same question.every body has his owned opinion,this is very common thing,so what they said at mylot i think that it have his reason,so i can select and easy to appear this question.but the best response for my discussions only just one.