New toy to my son.Would you buy toys to your kids each time they ask you?

@Zhizho (1352)
Indonesia
August 31, 2009 2:11am CST
Hi there.Yesterday,we shopping to the mall and we take our son.He was two years old and really like tranportation toys.He has many toys at home such as car,plane,train etc.But When we take him every time we going out,he must be ask it.It's make us as parent worry.So,have you strategy or how to limite his desire to buy toys more and more.Thanks for your advice guests?
2 people like this
13 responses
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
I don't take my kids to mall when they are below three years old. To avoid the attitude of "asking mom and dad to buy." You can do that too. You can provide other recreation for your son. Like going to the beach, visiting grandparent, going to church, park and museum. When they are above three years old, they accompany me to the grocery. When they choose an item to buy, I put it to our grocery cart if it is best for them. If not, I explain why we cannot buy it. Then, I stress out, how lucky I am to have a child who listen to mommy. You may do the same too. Now, my kids are in school age. I never meet any problem with them while shopping. I buy clothes they want but they know that we buy what they need only.
1 person likes this
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 09
Hi..I always take my kids because I have no helper who could take care him.I take him too walking around such as visit our family,go to beach or visit the zoo.Yes,you are right,to kids up three years,they would be accept the challenge when they would like to buy something.Anyway,thanks for share here and your advice.
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
Well i don't have babies but i guess it would be better if you only buy your son toys occasionally. To avoid making him a spoiled brat, you should minimize granting his wishes.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
1 Sep 09
Thanks for your comment friend.I think,you are right to buy toys base on occasion.And I have to limit his desire.Now,maybe it just because he is not understand yet although I have to educating him from now.
@vingyan06 (2489)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 09
Hello friends, I think most of the kids love to have new toys every time they go shopping. koalapenguin, I agree with you, we should not buy toys for the kids upon all their request. Buy some toys once in a while should be okay. What can we do when the kids insist want to buy that particular toys and refused to leave the toys shop? what if he is asking you to buy a very expensive toys? What if he throws tantrum in the public? It is not easy to handle a kids when they insist want to buy toys. But of course being a experience parents, we will have our way to handle our own kids. happy Mylotting!
@bing28 (3798)
• Philippines
1 Sep 09
Why not if there's enough money, it's our joy to give the toys that would make our little darlings, happy. Yhough if we think we beougt him a lot already then you can just divert his attention to other things like it's time to be eating at his fave fastfood or just go to the playground.
@bitoffun (203)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I like Sids reply. My boys are 21 and 18 now. When they were little the thing they always wanted was the gum machine stuff. I always would give them 2 quaters at the beginning of our shoppping for groceries. If they behaved they got to use them if they didn`t they had to save them and wait till the next trip. I don`t remember why they didn`t pitch a fit every time I said no to a toy but they didn`t. I just remember that from the very beginning I never bought them a toy on every trip so they knew if I said no then it was no, thats it. Now my 21 year old used to love cookies and if I went down that asile he would just throw them in the cart. I learned quick not to go down that asile if he was with me. lol.
@smart44 (511)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
its not necessary to buy toy to kids every time they ask for it, sometimes you say no to them, and tell them why you say no. Tell them and explain them why you cannot buy such toy. The childen will understand you about it, tell them that you need to keep money for it since not everytime you have such money to buy for it. Allow them to know that is difficult to raise money just to buy all their needs. explain them one buy one and they will understand.
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
1 Sep 09
Hi smart.You are right it's not necessary to buy kid toys everytime he ask.I have to firm to say no.And try to explain to him slowly.Sometimes,I buy it to don't let him cried in public area.
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
My three year old daughter has been asking for a barbie bike... everytime we go to the mall or when she sees a picture of one... she would plead to me... but then... a bike is like out of the budget right now... and there is just no room for one in the apartment... So, everytime she asks for one... i always tell her that ther is just no room for a bike in the apartment... and i promise to buy her one when we have a bigger apartment with a yard... and young as she is now... she actually understand me...
@Zhizho (1352)
• Indonesia
31 Aug 09
Proud to have daughter like yours.She could understand about your explaination.Maybe it depend to us as parents how we tell about the reason and I think that we have to tell the truth.Don't make unreasonable think.Anyway,thanks for share here friend.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
15 Mar 10
My older son was quite good about that when he was younger (he still is). He would ask for something and if we refused, he would quietly come along with us. But my younger one who is 3 now...gives us a hard time every time we go shopping...especially at the toy section. He will ask us for all the toys or vehicles there. I say 'No' and continue with my shopping. He keeps asking, I say 'No'...continue...this goes on till we pass this area. Most often than not, he's sitting in the trolley....so there are no tantrums or problems. After a year of 'No's, he is slowly getting the point and the tantrums are reducing and he is resigning himself to the situation.
@dbabcook (390)
• United States
31 Aug 09
When I first had my 1 and only child I have to say that I did spoil her and give her any toy she wanted so long as it could be afforded. I have over the years learned that you need to teach them early that money can be hard to come by and that we can't have everything we want. They need to realize that if they are given everything they want when they want it that there will be nothing for them to look forward to later. Have a great day.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Being a single mom, I never had the option of indulging in my kids like that. I just did not have the money. At the time, I felt very bad about it because, as a parent, you know, we all want to give our kids everything...the world. I used to tell them that if they really want it they will save their birthday money, xmas money etc. and most times....they found that when they saved the money up, they just really did not want it. If it was something fairly inexpensive, I would tell them that I would try to budget it in for them and I did. I felt horrible but i had 4 kids and I had no choice when it came to that sort of thing. As they got older they learned to work for things that they wanted and I think that because we were so poor they learned survival skills and the value of money. All but one of my girls is very good with money. The one that is not good with money is a survivor. There were times when we had some extra money as they were growing up. I never let them know because I knew that tomorrow we could be scraping again. We just have always lived very frugally for the most part. The times we splurged were memorable. You are not going to limit your son's desire for more but you can limit your desire to give him everything he wants by knowing that you are doing it for his own good. That being said, I would not go to a mall and bring a kid without giving the kid some spending money.
@mdp50126 (10)
• United States
31 Aug 09
i have four kids and when i take them to the store I know they will each ask for something they have learned no is no. When my son was 2 he would ask for a car and if I said no he would start to throw a fit so I would make him take a time out right in the middle of the store. If he did it again I would stop my shopping tell him that since he is throwing a fit we are leaving. I would pay for my things and take him home and he would have to take a time out while the other kids got to play. It did not take him long to realize no means no and if he throws a fit he will definately not get anything.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
31 Aug 09
My children were for the majority of their lives to date, very spoiled. However, my husband and I have decided that the time for spoiling them is over. They are getting a little bit older (6 and 2) and they think that if they see something that they want that they will automatically get it. It's a mistake that we made with them when they were small, and not a mistake that I am proud of. So, now, even for our two-year-old we have them do chores around the house. Something as simple as pouring the dog food for the dogs or putting trash in the trash can for our little one and they earn their own money. Then, when we are out at the store or the mall, if the kids see something that they would like to have they can either buy it for themselves if they have enough money or they can continue to save if they don't have enough money.
@ibuemma (2954)
• United States
31 Aug 09
Definitely not! And I think they got used to to my answer either "No" or "maybe". But it's rarely I buy them right away each time they ask. I teach them already that "money don't grow out on tree". I have money, but there are other thing that we need to buy than a toy. And also I use the birthday and christmas as a reason. They always get toys on those days. And if I said "maybe" I challange them to clean up their toys and choose the one that they can donate or give away, since they don't have enough room to get new one.
@Raven7317 (693)
• United States
31 Aug 09
My 4 YO loves cars, trucks, trains, planes, construction vehicles, etc... He has many, many toys...but I wouldn't call him over-indulged. He understands when I say "NO" that I mean "NO." What I do is, when I know we are going to a store that has toys, I tell him, "we are going to the store to get XYZ. We are not buying any toys today. Okay?" When we get to the store, if he asks to go see the toys, if I have the time, I say, "we can go see the toys when I'm done shopping, but we aren't buying anything today." Then I let him check out the toys and sometimes I let him play in the aisles. But I never buy him anything if I've already told him "NO." If he finds something that he MUST have, I tell him he'll have to wait for his birthday or Christmas. He's very good at this concept, in his 4 years, he has only thrown 2 temper tantrums in stores because I refused to buy a toy... the last time he did this, he got a time out at home and it's never happened again. Also, we have instituted a policy, now that he is older, that for every new toy he gets, we get rid of one old one. So I remind him in the stores, "if you want to get that XYZ, we will have to choose one toy at home to give to someone else." (We are trying to teach him to give to other little kids who are less fortunate than he is.) If you are firm, and consistant, he will get it. Tell him ahead of time, where you're going, what you plan to buy and whether or not the trip includes buying toys for him. AND don't waver from that. Good luck!
• India
31 Aug 09
All children love toys. Every now and then my son ask for a toy but i don,t buy him everytime he asks but on some special occasion i will specially buy a toy for him. If i am going on tour for some days then i will buy from that place some nice toy. My son is fond og different bykes so everytime hewill ask for a byke so whereever i see some good byke i will instantly take for him.