Do you still use the shirts gifted by your ex.?

@daliaj (5689)
India
August 31, 2009 3:37am CST
Last night, I went to train station to recieve my cousin who paid me a visit. I saw my room mate Asha's ex. bf there. They had a break up one month ago after an episode of many dramatic events such as throwing stones at each other, sadistic activities, and suicide attempt. I was surprised to find him in the 'red shirt' which she gave him as a gift. I am very sure that the shift is presented by my friend because I also went with her to select the shirt. Do you still use the dress materials presented by your ex.?
14 responses
@rberon1985 (5394)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
In our place, it is a common practice when boyfriend and girlfriend break up, they return all the things that was given by the boy or the girl to each other. But not all practice this kind of thing, most of all only.In my situation, I have never an opportunity waring the shirt given by my ex- girlfriend since as what i have said, we return the things given to each other, thanks for sharing.happy mylotting!!
@daliaj (5689)
• India
31 Aug 09
It is a good practice to give the things back. In that case there won't be any remains of your old relationship which keep pricking you. Usually, in my place we don't give the things back and msot of the cases the break up happens with a fight or not in a good mood. One of my friends, broke glass materials and put the clothes on fire presented by her bf, when she had a break.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
That is really a pricking situation. In our place, if they can still remain as friends, after the relationship, they still try to do it. And sometimes, after being friends again, they started to develop again until they fall in love again to each other. Most of the people in our place is friendly so it is not really hard to socialize with.thanks for sharing.happy mylotting!!
@daliaj (5689)
• India
31 Aug 09
I was wondering you are from which place and just saw that you are from Philippines. That is good if it works out. In my place, people are very possessive and the current partner won't like it if his gf is keeping friendship with his ex. How does it works in your place? Is it ok for a guy if his gf is keeping contacts (friendship) with her ex.?
• Indonesia
1 Sep 09
Hi daliaj So far, I've one ex (my first bf) and one bf now. My first bf gave me purple simple t-shirt and I like it. Purple is my favorite color. Although that t-shirt too small, but I could still wear it, so I worn it. After we broke up, I still use that t-shirt only if I need to go to the market with my mom, and other relax going out. Maybe because its simple looks. I don't have any problem with that. Maybe it sounds strange, but I think every things have feelings too, and I try to separate the person who gave it and the things. I don't like my ex, but I like the t-shirt,so I will keep it. How will that t-shirt feel? Only because hate or bad relationship with the giver, now it is left or thrown away? So I still use it. At first, I remember him but as time goes by, I can forget him and see that t-shirt ans it is, not haunted by my memory of him anymore. I will explain it to my bf if one day he ask
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Sep 09
I feel this is a very good response and it deserves best response. You should not throw away oen of your good shirts only because of the reason that you don't like the person who gifted it to you. I am happy to see that you are not connecting the shirt with the person. You are seeing shift and the person are two different things. That's good attitude. Thanks for the response.
• Indonesia
1 Sep 09
Thank you, daliaj At first I hesitate to write my true response here because when I see previous responses here, most of them said they won't use it because memory or considering his/her boyfriend feelings now.. Have a great day and hope your friend who go to work with the same bus with you won't make you wait tomorrow (hehe, remember your discussion about waiting?)
@Sanziana (88)
• Romania
31 Aug 09
LOL. If he continues on wearing it maybe it's because he wants her back and in this way, by showing off like that, he tries to transmit his desire in a subtile way( well...not that subtile :)) ) When I broke up with my ex boyfriend I throw it away all, I believe that if you intend to start from zero again you need to get rid of everything that it is old, that doesn't represent what usually did it in the beginning. I can imagine that one possible reason is that he still cares a lot about her and wants to send this indirectly to her, maybe he wants reconcilation. ( I can't stand the idea that he doesn't have any shirts!)
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Sep 09
LOL. I don't think that he doesn't have shirts either. I will say that the shirt which I am talking about suits him very well and it is pretty expensive. He may not want to throw a nice shirt for the breakup in the relationship. Sometimes people broke and reamin as friends. In those cases people keep the gifts. Thanks for the response.
• United States
31 Aug 09
Yes, I do. Just because they gave me a shirt and then we broke up doesn't mean it's no longer my shirt. Generally, I'm not really hurt if someone dumps me, and I'm definitely not if I dump them.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Sep 09
That is a good attitude. I have seen people who become very emotional and get hurt when they are dumped by somebody. I think there is no need to be worried and take the situation as it is and think about the next step. Worrying will affect the health of the person and it has no positive effect. You don't have to throw away a good shirt that suits you well only because of the reason that you broke with the guy who gave you the gift.
@tutor19us (455)
• India
31 Aug 09
Well, I have received many gifts from friends. But I always keep the gifts. I also never expect them to return my gifts. Its kind of nice to keep wearing clothes that someone bought you with love (Ok, at some time atleast). Even if you break up with that person and have moved on, you tend to remember those nice things that you said and did when you use the thigns that were gifted to you during that time.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Sep 09
I think there is nothing wrong using the things if you really like the things regarless of the fact that you love or hate the person who gave you the gift. I will never throw away a nice salwar of make up set only because of the fact that I am not in good terms with with the person who gave me the gift. Thanks for the response.
@kryzell (921)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
I believe I don't have anything left, that's from my ex. During one of our huge fights, I returned everything to him. When we got back together, he tried to give me back the other stuff I returned to him... but a few weeks after that I went to travel, and one of my baggage (with his stuff on it), got mixed up in the airport... to make the story short... I lost what's left of his stuff. Ironically, a month after that incident... we broke up. I guess it's destiny that I lost his items.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
1 Sep 09
I think it is destiny too. Now, you don't have to worry about meeting him again and avoid the scene of giving the things back to him or keeping the things with you thinking about how to get rid of them or being in a confused situation of whether to keep them or give it away. Thanks for the response.
@srganesh (6348)
• India
31 Aug 09
That means he is still in love with your friend.At least he has a soft corner for her until now after all the dramatic fights.Nobody will have the gifts of the ex if they hate them like anything.It stays with them to remember the sweet moments they had before.Cheers!
@daliaj (5689)
• India
31 Aug 09
I don't understand why he still keeps it. I doubt he still has a soft corner towards her. He may think that the shirt suits him well and doesn't want to leave a nice expensive shift whatever be the realtionship. He many not be in a new relationship to throw the shift away to show his respect to the new gf. I don't knowl; it is confusing. Thanks for the response.
@bluishrose (2291)
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
maybe some but not all. If ever I have a new relationship thats the time I'll stop using the things my ex gave me. Its one way of respect to my new partner.
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
me too... i used some.. but if ever i'll found someone i'll see to it that i never used any of my ex's gift because its an insult for my new boyfriend...
• Philippines
31 Aug 09
Nope. Only one of my exes gave me a shirt. And it was one of his worn-out shirts...haha. It was sweet and cute at that time. He gave it to me as a remembrance of him. Now, I don't even know where that shirt is. I guess i gave it away to a homeless person. Let's just say I'm not very keen on remembering him.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
31 Aug 09
Lol. worn-out shirt! Anyway, it is good that you are not keeping it now. It is a way of giving respect to your new partner. Usually, guys won't like if his gf uses things gifted by her ex. Some may be open minded to take that. Thanks for the response.
@lubeimao (118)
• China
2 Nov 09
For me ,i will not use everything my ex boyfriend give me ,that doesn't mean i will throw everything out ,the expensive gifts i will give back to him ,and maybe i will keep something for momerizing ,such as ,a samll note or cheap necklance .
@dolmitta (221)
• India
2 Sep 09
Dalia i feel that he strongly loves her. If he gets another chance he would love to get back to her. Thats what i think. ;)
• United States
1 Sep 09
If there isn't anything wrong with the shirt, then why not? It certainly would throw off your ex if they see you later in life wearing something they bought you. But I say as long as it doesn't bring back painful memories, if the shirt fits, wear it.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
1 Sep 09
It depends on the quality of the shirt. If its a shirt that I like, then I would wear it. After all once upon a time there was a lot of love in it, eventhough the relation is no more, somethings will still remain
@nomoso (652)
• India
31 Aug 09
I dont have a ex but i would prefer wearing it. Its just after all once we depart from the relationship. So i think it just another tshirt you can use it. May be my comment wont suit those who are in relationship. Because the tshirst would always make us remember about the relation. So its better to avoid. My response is always contrary so do bare with my response.