How would u react if u get the mail of your bf's ex in his inbox?

@diillu (5128)
September 2, 2009 3:50pm CST
How would u react if u get the mail of your bf's ex in his inbox? Okay, we share passwords of our hotmail and yahoo account. We are having long distance relationship, so we thought it was important. And when I woke up this morning, I just thought about checking his emails and I think it was already more than 1 month that I didn't check his mail. I saw the name, I knew it was his ex so I opened it up. It wouldn't have made me angry, if it was all friendly. But from that mail I couldn't see anything that sounded like a formal mail. It all started with the dear thing and of course with the nickname they used to call eachother when they were still together. Dear and the nickname.. I was already furious when I was on the first line. And on the last line, she was asking for his number and asking him to call him as soon as he gets that email. I was furious, we had the fight... but we made up. And I wrote hell of a mail to that girl asking her to stop writing any more mail to my bf. She mailed me to clear things, and said that it was just friendship and blah blah.. If it was for the hell should she had to call him by their nicknames. I know I am jealous, and I am angry but I think I have got every right to be. What do u say? Or what would you do?
2 people like this
5 responses
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
10 Sep 09
If you are sharing accounts I think that you should have strict rules about what type of stuff you can and can't read. Sometimes when my boyfriend is expecting an important message and he is not at home I will check his e-mail for him, but I wouldn't read anything he gets in unless I have asked him first. I feel he deserves this privacy and he wouldn't do this to me aswell. I am not judging you for doing this, I am just explaining that you should both feel comfortable with what you are sharing with each other and which things should remain personal. I don't think I would like it if my boyfriends ex-girlfriend was giving him nicknames etc. but I wouldn't get into a fight with him because she tried to contact him. If you were the first to open the e-mail, than there is no way he could have replied to her in the first place. If he really loves you he won't have anything to do with her aside from perhaps being friends. And quite frankly, if someone wants to cheat they will make sure they do not leave traces and he wouldn't use an e-mailaccount you know or use any e-mails at all. Not to get you worried, but this is my point of view. In short it comes down to one thing that every relation needs: trust. You will have to learn to be less jealous to not 'choke' your boyfriend with your love. A little jealousy doesn't hurt, but don't start making conclusions if you haven't got any proof he has this kind of contact with her. All the best, a long distance relationship sounds like a lot of work and I do understand it's harder to have a healthy long distance relationship than a relationship when you get to see each other more often.
1 person likes this
@diillu (5128)
28 Sep 09
Thanks ..!!!
• United States
2 Sep 09
It isn't your business to be going through his personal mail, and guess what people can stay friends when they break up with someone and therefore the small things like nicknames etc. can still be used. Plus do you know the reason for her wanting him to call? It could of been something that he was involved in. You were too quick to react and if my boyfriend did this to me I'd break up with him.
@diillu (5128)
3 Sep 09
Well, he does the same with me. We share the passwords. I know after break up people can stay firends but I think it's not necessary to write all the mushy mail with the nicknames they used to use. It's over. She get to understand that. And if the mail was all friendly I wouldn't have reacted that way. Beside she was the one to contact my bf and asking for the number. Not my bf.
• United States
3 Sep 09
Do you know the intention behind her asking for the number? No. Do you know if he didn't email her before in the same manner? No. Because he can easily be deleting his outbox even with you knowing the password. And the wonder who asked to exchange passwords to begin with. Normally its the females because they are too insecure.
@diillu (5128)
4 Sep 09
Well, don't tell me males people don't get insecure. And I think I quite know that my bf wasn't the first one to do. If so then they would have already have had their number exchanged. The girl wouldn't be after him asking the number or asking him to contact him.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
3 Sep 09
Of course u have every right to be angry and jealous!! hehe ^_^ And even though u might not have the right to 'invade' his privacy by checking his email, but he's supposed to tell u that his ex has been wanting to contact him.. IN a relationship, everything has to be opened and shared among couples.. If not, once it's being caught in a situation like this, it will be very hard to clear up the misunderstanding, especially when it's a long distance relationship.. And that, she's even using nicknames during their courtships, goes to show that, she has not given up.. THus, all the more your bf should let u know about it earlier..
@diillu (5128)
3 Sep 09
We do this to eachother. We share the passwords. He checks mine and I check his. But its not that frequent. It's just for sometime. It was the first mail that I read from his ex. She was all mushy using their nicknames. I dont know why she wants his number. IF there was anything information she needed then she could have askd him in the mail. Seems like shes not over yet.
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
4 Sep 09
Definitely, she's not over him yet!! Thus, u need to be more careful now, and that your bf should be more open with u.. If not, it's best that u let him go..
@rb200406 (1825)
• India
7 Sep 09
Well it is natural to feel furious but it is also neccessary to have beleieve in you bf.You have to trust him.If he really had any other intensions than he would not have shared his password of email with you.
• Malaysia
6 Sep 09
It happens to me long time ago.But it was not through email.It was through my bf cellphone.His ex text him in a friendly way asking for my boyfriend email so that she can add him up on Skype.I read it and i was so mad about it,plus my bf confess that they were still in touch and lately become close again.All i do is just let it,i went out with my ex bf..i spend less time with my bf and didnt even took c are of him like i use to.He then come to apologies to me and asking me to be with him back.I get back ti him with so many condition that i ask him to follow.Till now he is still folowing the rules. I dont want to be faithful twards someone who is unfaithful to me.Hope you will do propriate action to settle your problem my friend.