Are you a YES or NO person?
By neelianoscet
@neelianoscet (9615)
Philippines
September 5, 2009 5:10am CST
A YES person have a troubles saying NO in order not to disappoint a friend, employer
or a family request to agree with their plan, invitation or things to finish a task
at a certain period or deadlines as agree by you. Saying Yes all the time, means
you are a person who are obedient to your superiors, who follow order without
questioning, and as long as you could do the job done..Then, you are likely to be
the favorites employee of the year, a great acquaintance who could be reliable all
the times, and a deserves to be rewarded for your best efforts. If you are a NO
person, you always refuse a friend, relatives or your boss request to finish a duty
on a specified deadlines or time given to you, which often lead you being
criticize, putting you always in a bad light. And, if you always say No, then it is
mean it's time now for you to move on or transfer work or be your own boss as you
are really having a hard time to follow order, finish tasks on a deadlines and have
difficulty dealing with your co-workers.
How about you? Do you always says to yourself that you are a YES or a NO person? Or you are in between of the two? What do you think will be the other benefits and the advantages of being always a YES or a NO person?
9 people like this
24 responses
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
5 Sep 09
I'm always a yes person, to whatever i do.. No matter how inconvenient it's for me, or i'm in a disadvantageous position, i will still be saying yes.. lol =D I find it hard to reject anybody, or their request. If i can do it, i will do it.. BUt if i cant, i will still try my best, and fulfil their wish instead.. lol =D 
As such there will always be ple trying to exploit my weakness upon that area, and now i've learnt to say no.. IN order to protect myself, and being taken for granted.. haha =D
As such there will always be ple trying to exploit my weakness upon that area, and now i've learnt to say no.. IN order to protect myself, and being taken for granted.. haha =D 
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
yeah, it is true in a situation when you like to put yourself in their own shoes, if you happen to be rejected you would feel the same things and it is not a good feeling being rejected but for me, it is not also a good feeling to say yes or no all the times when deep inside, you would like to says the exact opposite..
1 person likes this
@bjcyrix (6901)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
Im more of a "Ill see." kinda person. If the situation or the task being asked of me can be easily done or that I do have the time and capability to do it then I will say yes on the spot. If I know that there is no way that I can shift my schedule or that I really rather not go or cant do it then I wont hesitate in saying "no".
However, if I do wish to do it myself or go to that event but I feel or think that there might be some conflict with other work, then Ill say "Ill see if I can make it." Id have to shift or change my plans for that day so as to accommodate the new event/work that is being asked of me.
I say that instead of a yes or no because I really dont want to give false hopes and false promises to the one who has asked me to do it. I dont want him/her to expect that Ill do it then just disappoint them if I cant because of some conflict. Its better to be honest about something rather than saying yes or no just to avoid conflict or wanting to impress someone, even if he/she is the boss.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
It is better to be frank or honest with your ability to say yes if you could commit and very confident you could finish what is being expected of you rather to pretend to say yes all the time when in fact you could not do it. Then, it is also right to say No when you really mean and not for a reason you say it to escape your obligation to do the things as expected by your superior to finish on deadlines or in a specified time. Then, come the abuses if you say yes immediately without thinking if the things being ask of you is good or wrong then you are bound to commit sudden mistakes for failing to verify its authenticity and if you say No it will reflect in your personality as being incapable and untrustworthy never dependable which are hard to stand out as being recognized above the rest. Then when you say it depend or you first think before replying, you do this to avoid resentment and blaming self for the wrong decision..
1 person likes this
@mindym (978)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I am usually a yes person because I am a people pleaser. However, I think that some people take advantage of the "yes people". With time, I have learned to say no to certain things. Sometimes I feel bad/guilty for saying no, but I need to look out for myself, not just others. So, now I think I am still a yes person with an occasional tendency to say no.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Having full freedom to say yes and no should be an excellent opportunity for every one. What is a free will if one's mind unable to uses it entirely? Then, I must say you should say yes, because you like it and say no, because you do not like it. That is in a simple terms, it is a test of honesty and not pretending which a lot of people fall from that category. Because one is afraid to reject other people and like to see itself as a pleaser rather than say no, when saying yes have more benefits than saying no..
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
11 Oct 09
yeah,sometimes,i think i am a principal person,if i could help others,i would try my best to help,but the premise is i should be free,and i think i can do that!
Saying yes is not obligatory as well as saying no as i believe every one have their own free will to follow their own instincts never to let others do the decision for you especially in crucial matter and feel guilty after wards if you let yourself influences or dictated by other people. So it is better to speak only what you think are good without forcing as it the long run nobody would benefit from your own decision no other than yourself.
@cheriezhao (246)
• China
11 Oct 09
yeah,sometimes,i think i am a principal person,if i could help others,i would try my best to help,but the premise is i should be free ,and i think i can do that!
@vandana7 (98778)
• India
5 Sep 09
This is strange. I have some characteristics of both. Well, for one - 90 percent of the time, I am a yes person! But I also have a mind of my own. If I am sure I am right, I would do anything to stand by it (except when I am likely to lose good friends). I stick to the deadlines. And I my co-workers did not find it easy to get along with me. So I dont really know how I should be classified. :(
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
You are really in between of the two, as you think you are a yes person when you follow all the rules or the tasks being assign to you by your superior then because you could not says No, you just follow it but deep inside of you rebel and you could not show it in order not to risk your job..
3 people like this
@myneurotica (8)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I am one of those people that is trying to hold myself in the middle because of the fact that because when I say yes it seems as if it secretly staples a sign on my back that say "Fool me,please" or "kick here" The more you say yes,or sure okay, it seems as if a line forms.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
You have the point there, a lot of people says yes when in fact she like to say no but restrict to says in order not offend her superior or those in the higher authority. being a yes person when you always follow what is being ask of you, without analyzing what it means and just follow it,,It would drives you to rebel secretly to say no because you are present to please the people and not to disappoint them. In cases you would like to say no,you would be label as a snob or hardheaded who always follow his impulses..
2 people like this
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
that is really true, but not all the times, their are times in our life that we say yes as you mention in your first reply like it is like conceited to every dictation when it its feel you do not want to proceed but you still do it to please other people and not yourself..You say no in a right valid reasons and i think the person who will receive it would understand you if you explain it in a good manner..
@myneurotica (8)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I can agree with kun saying yes to everyone and even if it's too much sometimes. But then I have been taken for granted so often, just because others can. I guess I am going into a finding who I am period and part of it includes finding out how others have acted toward me as a result of wanting to please everyone. I realize that sometimes it is a statement in itself just to tell some people the word no.
@mybeatrice (203)
• China
9 Oct 09
hello neelianoscet, good discussion.
well, I think it is really difficult to say no to my boss if he asked me to do something, like prepare the documents or others, but those are things that I should do, do I have no the right to say no, but if he asked me to do something like wash the floor, tidy the office, then I would surely say no, because it is not my task, I will ask someone who is responsible for this to do those things. Luckily my boss is very nice, he never asked us to do something that is not our business.
To friends, all my friends know that I am a person who would say to truth, if I want to do something, I would say yes, if not, I say no.
I know sometimes, in order to get along well with each other, we should do some sactifice, like do something that we don't like.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
26 Dec 09
hi beatrice,
yup, being a yes person means being obedient and become submissive to the authority or to those person who have a higher position such as in work, schools etc..But, then again being yes should only be applicable if one could get benefit from it and some say yes to maintain harmonious relationship with colleague, neighbors and peers. But, when a person command or demand you something which you know are bad even with the sense you could realize the person command or demand is wrong..then, you have the right to refuse it. That the reasons human is not similar to animals who know to reason out...
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
9 Sep 09
For the most part I would always say that I am a YES person. I am always saying Yes to people when I feel it is of my Best interest. The problem can be sometimes is still no matter what sometimes finding people who will respect me as I am as it seems like I am usually one of the ones left out in the end.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
It is really hard to find a person who will honestly appreciated although you always agree and like to please him all the time. Then, realizing that this person who receive never ever know to compliment you despite your efforts to please him all the times. That is why before saying yes we need to think many times if it is the right decision and the probable outcomes after we say yes. Then, the consequences of action would also depend on you as you conceited and gives consent to this person to owe you some respect but if he show the opposite it means that this person only use you to gain something from you, but in the end it could not be trusted. So, it is important also to say yes and no, when we really mean it and for the fact of pleasing another person when in fact the mind and hearts of yours rebel. It is better to tell the truth in saying yes or no rather feel guilty afterward saying it to the wrong person or with the right person without feeling resentment afterward..
@Soniasony (1827)
• India
9 Sep 09
MOst of the time am a YES person to my friends .. I dont tell NO at any time if anything is asked . Yes I may be unreasonable most of the time but I do care about them so I am not in a position to say NO and I dont regret that at any time.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Saying yes is a mark of a person who like to please people all the time even sacrificing her real likes and dislikes, but most of the times satisfying the need of the people around her are the things on the top of one's priority..
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
8 Sep 09
I've always been a combination of the two but always seemed to be on the losing side. If I would say "yes", I was taken advantage of. If I was to say "no" then I was criticised for not being a part of things or I would be automatically left out next time. Try as I might to please others or please myself, I would be in the wrong....always. Why is it so?
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
If you would always think that you both end up as a feeling loser then you have to be more cautious and analyze first the situation before giving a replies this is necessary that you would never regret your decision by saying yes and no..Some people are force to say yes all the time to please other or to make her appear as a positive person. While when you always say no, you would be label as a negative person, who always looking on the bad side. But, it is necessary to say no, when you think you are being abuse and have to stop it before it ruin your life..
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I used to be a yes person because I was afraid to tell someone no and make them mad at me. I got tired of it though because most of them were just using me to get what they wanted. I learned quick how to say no without feeling guilty for it.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
Yeah, saying yes all the times have bring good things and bad things too. The good things by saying yes you build a good reputation as being dependable and could be available anytime they seek your help. Then by saying No, some people think that you are a snob or you says it to escape from your commitment or obligation using it as alibi. On the other hand the right to says No is good if you see the proposal or invitation as a venue to abuses your kindness..Then, you have the right to say no..
@blackbriar (9076)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I'm an inbetweener. Usually I'll help a friend out but there have been times when I just couldn't and regretfully had to say no.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
18 Sep 09
Yeah, saying yes depend on the situation and you are not oblige to do it if you do not like to say yes Then, saying yes when you really presume it is alright to say when you have enough reason to make rejection or refusal which you think are very appropriate to say no.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
14 Sep 09
I am in between, at work, I always say yes although there are times its battling inside of me to say yes, because I already gave lots of sacrifices at work and its nonsense when I have done job because it is never appreciated. I just say yes because of the thought that I am capable of anything. Inside my family, I can easily say no or yes to them since they know me and we have freedome there. We only reconcile if we have a problem. We all can say yes or no.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
14 Sep 09
Hi greychunny, hope your day today is not gray..lol..well, you're such a person who say yes just like any person who could not really suppose to say no to a superior or else she get mad. As a superior is a very dominant authority and would likewise not really always act responsive to subordinates reasoning and mostly listen to her own judgment. It is only a rare cases of a different scenarios that a superior are willing to exchange ideas with her subordinates and understand their situation. I could tell by your writing that you are not satisfactory appreciated. Don;t worry. I'll be the one to make a compliment for you..ha..ha..ha..You're a good and responsible girl. You just do your best and hoping on the long run you will reap whatever you desires is will be achieve..
@amyson (3498)
• Philippines
4 Oct 09
well,i can say it depends on the situation but most of the time i am thinking very positively in everytime so it helps me deal with the situation then it will give me some confident to do the things that i pursue.
.
.@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
11 Oct 09
Yeah, saying yes and no should depend on the situation and with your final decision as you know yourself better than anyone else. One need to be forced to follow the command of other people but should need to think twice before undergoing any relationship agreement by two couples who are in -love. then, have to say no when you really mean no..
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
11 Oct 09
yeah, most of the times as a people pleasing other people too. then say no if you really mean it would not hurt anyway..
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
It is right to say no, when you feel very tired and exhaustive as it is not alright to sacrifice one's health to fulfill the demands of other while denying yourself the ability to take a rest when you already had perform enough. Then, you have to says no when it is appropriate and you could not perform it well rather than saying yes all the time when deep inside your mind is telling you to stop. Then,you still continue to says yes to please other people is the same as pretending to be okay when you are not really okay...It is also important to tell or inform your superior in advance your reason of turning down his request with valid reasons to make you believable..
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
5 Sep 09
I used to be a yes person afflicted by the ‘disease to please’ until I decided enough was enough and to say no more often.
It was not an easy thing to do and I still find it difficult! I had to learn the fine line between assertiveness and aggression.
For a close friend or my sister it would be very rare for me to refuse.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
5 Sep 09
Sorry! I have no idea why this posted twice! My apoologies.
@uicbear (1900)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I'd say I am mostly a yes person. I have a co-worker who thinks I am so much of a yes person that I often get taken advantage of by my family and friends and work. But the thing is, that I like helping people and being there for them when they need something. I don't mind coming to the aid of a co-worker when they need a day off. I don't mind baby-sitting at the last minute if i don't have something already planned. I have gotten better at saying no when I don't want to do something, but I still feel a little bit bad about it.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
You are really a certified yes person as in everything you do is to please another person or people around you rather than disappoint them by saying no. Probably, you really are up to be a good fellow and would even feel a slight guilt if you happen to say no, because you think so it have to be no..It is better to say yes when it benefits many and say no is better than to pretend to say yes or agree all the times when deep inside, you are thinking to say no..
@bloodcakelover (420)
• Malaysia
5 Sep 09
I was somewhere in between..but after thinking for a while i think i am 80% 'no' person and '20 %' yes person.I will only say yes to my mom,brother and friends,old people and those who seems kind to me no matter how much i dont like what they ask me to do.the rest i will consider about it first.I just dont want to be use by others.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
That is a right attitude as if a person keep saying yes it may be lead to abuses and when following order if you never think enough and just follow it..it looks like you are not using your brains for proper reasoning. It is better to remain honest, if yo do not like to do or perform what is being ask of you is better option than keep following but deep inside of your mind, you rebel against the one who ask you do a things or accomplish without feeling being force to do something out of obligation not by personal choose alone..
3 people like this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
5 Sep 09
I find myself being a yes person for the most part. Maybe it's just easier to please the people you care about that way. When I have to be a No person, it has to come with strong convictions.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
Yeah,that is true being a yes person is like building a good image and even if you have the tendency to say no, you instead say yes in order not to disappoint people. But, for me it is alright to say no, when you really mean it. After all it is you who know yourself well than anyone else. Stand strong in what you believe and you are safe with it..
@MrZenic (81)
• Singapore
5 Sep 09
I guess im more of a YES person but sometimes i do NO. This is because i don want to disappoint the counter part. There are exceptions though. Saying YES does build good relations especially among workers in decision making. So i guess im a 'between' the two kind of person.
@neelianoscet (9615)
• Philippines
5 Sep 09
That is nice things to keep all things in balance between being an all time yes person than being No all the times only discourages productivity. It also mean that being yes to reply on any instruction is a good things and it will becomes not good when you continue to follow order when you think their is some mistakes on it. The, for implementing a No in all we do is not good as it mirrors a person have lots of insecurities failing to follow instructions while it is also right to says no when you think the instructions is leading you follow wrong decision..
3 people like this
