Church or Civil Wedding: Which is more "stronger" in holding the relation?

@mobhomeir (7558)
Philippines
September 6, 2009 4:59am CST
Hello mylotters, getting married would not be an easy decision in your life. As what I understood this is the other half of your life that would be at risk. Why? Because if your marriage would not be successful the situation and the future of your children would also be at risk. Each of the couple, of course, would find a way that they both have a strong hold to keep their relation stick well to each other for the welfare of their family of course. If they could come up on one decision it would be a legal wedding. Now, there were some that would prefer to a Civil wedding as well as Church wedding. There were couples wedded legally at the church that were not successful as well also as being wedded by just a civil. In your point of view, specially to those who plan yet of getting married what would you prefer guys; Trial Marriage? Why? Civil Wedding? Why? or Church Wedding and why? Let's share our opinion ladies and gentlemen...
7 people like this
34 responses
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I agree with you in some point, my friend. But I don't agree in what you say that enter into marriage is risking half of your life?We see some unsuccessful marriage because people beyond in this broken relationship is not believe in God. They have no fear and faith in God, that is why they suffer from this broken up. If they have faith and fear in God. They cannot do anything harm to their partners. If they have fear in God, they can't do anything wrong to their partner. If they have fear in God, they can't just go away without a reason. If they have fear in God, they can't cheat their partners. If they have fear in God, they don't make any relationship with someone else that is not their partner. Everything is in consideration with God, fear my friend. To make the relationship intact and last forever. Civil or Church wedding is the same in the eyes of God, my friend. Whatever you choose. The important things is that you respect the sanctity of marriage and be sure that you love the person you present in the eyes of God. If both of the couples, have no respect the sanctity of marriage and have no fear with God. I don't think that relationship is survive?
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Yes my friend, it is well elaborated. What matters most is a true love and respect not only for both of the couple but also to our God who are the master of our destiny..thanks for responding..
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
Well my friend..we've got married with my partner at the church because we strongly believe in our faith that to be wed is a sacred thing and it need a blessing from the third party which is our true God...thanks again for commenting..
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
I firmly believe that everything must in consideration with God. To be successful in marriage life. Because both partners have faith and fear with God. There marriage relationship is eternal and love never ending...How about you my friend. What do you choose? When getting married?
2 people like this
• United States
10 Sep 09
To be married in a church or not I think the only reason this would be an issue when it comes to someones preferences. I think this matters not as much as the couples conviction to become one and make it last a lifetime not just play house for a minute till they grow bored and divorce.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
Yes you have your point, but for those believers they must need God intervention for His blessings. For if you both God's chosen one He would never permit that you would be broke up in your marriage...but it depends on how's your belief ...thanks for responding...
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
10 Sep 09
I prefer a Church wedding, and that's what hubby and i did, about 4 years ago. I guess cuz we're both catholic, from quite religious backgrounds, so there wasn't a question as to wether it'd be a Church or civil wedding. I'm not saying Church weddings are better, but that's what we both preferred, but what makes a marriage work, is not where you get married, is how you live your marriage, how you love and cherish each other, how you support and complete each other, no matter where you got married.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
Actually, in my own opinion, if you're strong in your faith you must need God intervention, for His blessings to His children who would get married...thanks for responding...
@frinces (433)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Church wedding, because couples who have gone to this type of wedding are God-fearing and they consider God as the center of their marriage. But I think it is not on the way couples were married but on the attitude of the individual on their relationship.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Yes well said my dear sister...there should be a third party and that's God Himself..thanks again for responding...
1 person likes this
@Ritchelle (3790)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
it depends on the couple involved (provided they are compatible: have the same way of thinking)on which would be heavier in importance between a church or a civil wedding.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
Yes I agree with you my friend...wherever you may be wed if both of you never had truly love and respect with each other that all be in vain...thanks for responding..
2 people like this
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I believe it is whatever you can afford. It does not define the love you have for one another. Now that you got me on this. My sister and her husband just now exchanged vows for their 25 yr ann. They did it the new way with my dad (who is a preacher) overseeing. It is called a civil union. It is like a normal wedding, but it is also referred to as a covenant marriage by some. It is the most beautiful thing you could do. This can be done at a church or courthouse. Each party covents their love for each other under the eyes of God. As we all know god is everywhere even the courthouse. You covent yourselve to love, respect, and be true to each other the way God intended a husband and wife to be. I guess I could have made this a new discussion instead of response, but you made me think of this and figured would share. Thanks for the discussion.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Oh really...so, I presume you like to have it in a civil wedding huh? well if that would have been agreed by the two of you then go ahead...I just wish you all the best..congratulations in advance...thanks for responding..
1 person likes this
@ShepherdSpy (8544)
• Omagh, Northern Ireland
7 Sep 09
I don't think where you have the ceremony is that important to the stability of the marriage..I'm not familiar with the breakdown of statistics on the subject,but divorces result from both Civil Ceremonies and Church weddings...The Key issue here is how much commitment the couple have to one another,their wedding vows,and any family they have.I've one question on your discussion-What exactly is a trial Wedding?! There's no such thing as a Trial Wedding Ceremony,or trial Families as a result..You either Live together as Man and Wife,maybe later choosing to go through with a ceremony,or You make it official from the start in front of a Minister or Civil Official and witnesses.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I got that my friend...thanks for responding..
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
7 Sep 09
My fiance and I will be married at a church. I do not think that it matters very much how you are married when it comes to if your marriage will last. You and your other half are hte only ones that can decide whether it will last, if in fact any problems arise. Many people go through a marriage with few or only miniscule problems arising, and those are the ones who look at life in a great way and make the most out of it. With more and more people falling victim to depression, it makes marriages a little harder because of all the stress that comes with the responsibility. Children and supporting them, not to mention the bills one faces just by owning a home! Though my fiance and I have chose to be married in a church and we have our reasonings for that, if we were to have been married by the magistrate I do not think it would make much difference as to how our relationship is or will be. We both strive now to be communciative, and when we take our vows, it will be our solemn promise to bond to each other, and to cleave unto each other so as to be stronger together, and to be loving, caring, kind and to leave no secrets that would make our marriage difficult or rocky. I've heard and seen the first year of marriage to be the most difficult and I can see where people say it is. The responsibility of bills, though I myself do not yet know the responsibility of such nor does my fiance, even so it must be grand. We see from our prospective how his parents struggle with bills. We know it's inevitable we will do teh same, but the money is not our but god's, so many troubles shouldn't bring us down!
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I like that my friend...well, good luck and best wishes...congratulations in advance..thanks for responding..
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
7 Sep 09
It doesnt matter where you wed or even if you wed. The strength of the couple depend upon the couple themselves. I have know people that have wed only to break up later. I have also known couples that were never married had kids and grandkids and stayed together for life.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Yes I agree with you my friend...it depends on what kind of relationship the couple has...thanks for responding..
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
It really doesn't matter at all where you chose to have your wedding, whether it is civil or in church, because love and commitment are what bind a couple together, not where it takes place. My parents actually wanted us to have a church wedding, but instead we had a romantic garden wedding at a nice venue that I had picked out with harp music playing in the background. Do I regret that I had a church wedding? No, absolutely not because although my husband and I are very spiritual people believing in God, we just didn't feel the need to get married in a church is all. Everyone is different and you should do what feels right for you.
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
7 Sep 09
I forgot to mention but I will say that in 10 yrs we plan to renew our wedding vows, and this time it will be in a church in Europe, with family & friends followed by reception in a castle.
1 person likes this
@ilyzium (1197)
• Canada
8 Sep 09
HI, Most people don't seem to realize that you can be a spiritual person yet not go to church and that's what I am. :)
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
That's you're will my friend...I never know why you said you both are spiritual person and yet you never wed in the church...well maybe you have a good reasons then...thanks for responding...
@savak03 (6684)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I am a firm believer in marriage. However, I do not think that one kind of wedding will make a stronger marriage than any other as long as the marriage is legal. The key component to a successful marriage is communication. As long as the two people keep the lines of communication open and respect each other their marriage will be long and strong.
2 people like this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
You are very right my friend, I strongly believe and agree with you...thanks for responding...
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
Hello Martin, Civil or church wedding is not what matter when it comes to strong relationship.Both were legal marriages,actually,before having the church rites,couple should have the the marriage lisence from the civil registrar office....so...civil wedding is very much legal and valid ones. Not to mention the grand wedding of prince Charles and princess Diana,the whole world witnessed the couple tie the knot and made their vows all over the globe,but still the marriage didn't last a lifetime. While there are unknown unwed couples living in peace,simple life,happily living together without the civil wedding,no wedding ring,no ritual rites. Every woman dreamed of having their dream wedding,wearing their dream gown...but only few were able to fulfill wedding dreams,and...much fewer had their wedding/marriage becomes successful according to their standards of a happy and perfect married life. Happy Monday amigo
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Well said mi bonita mia...is this based on experience? he he he he I think you're right. It doesn't matter where or what place where you've been wedded, what matters most is the understanding and respect with each other that could build a strong foundation on their relationship that their children could benefit from it...thanks again my beautiful friend...
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
aha...partly were based on experience and partly were of research. Before, i used to look at unwed couples unacceptable and i had the thinking "what kind of girl is it to go on live-in/living together without marriage and having kids".But,after so many meetings with people who were in such situation,having talk with them and knowing first hand information direct from those people,...little i realize that,most of them were even happy and had a successful relationship minus the wedding rites. This is an eye opener,we can never judge a relationship which is stronger and which is not,based on the grand wedding or simple ceremony.Sometimes,people who say's "wedding/marriage is just a piece of paper" i don't want to argue with them,becoz,partly they have their own reasons to prove why they don't believed in marriage and wedding rites. And for those who had grand wedding ever published on newspapers and flashed on tv screens...uhmn...we can only count in our fingers who's wedding remain successful...remain successful or just hiding the truth behind not to have their lives being intrigued or being the gossips in media world. wow...i talked too much,can't hide my tactless oipinion hehehe...now you know how talkative i am amigo whew!!!!don't tell Nicolas Cage ok..promiseeee
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
6 Sep 09
Neither is stronger because it is not a church or civil wedding that guarantees a long and fruitful relationship. That's why we see people filing for divorce everyday. It's not about the place you get married, or how. What matters is the foundation of the relationship which is built on love, care, trust, honestly, loyalty, perseverance and other things that keep two people together. If you had a strong foundation and a good mutual understanding of expectations, open line of communication, then even if you would get married at the back of a pick up, you can be happy. There is no guarantee to happiness. Forever is not something that is guaranteed to each and everyone of us. There is no accurate formula to a lasting relationship although it starts with what I've just mentioned above. That's why human relationships are complicated. Personally, I would not have a "trial" marriage but I would like to live in before making a decision because there are some things that you only get to see or observe once you are living with the person.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Yeah well said my friend. Maybe to those who would insist on both weddings would just let the couple be recognized by the community or their faith...you're right no matter where would you be wedded, what matters most would be the kind of foundation that could hold you both in the long period of time with your family members...trial marriage are for those who are not yet sure of their feeling and for those who afraid of their exclusive commitment with each other....thanks for responding...
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
8 Sep 09
Well all have our reasons but I don't believe in rushing into anything. Most of my older friends (ages 40 up) said that if they could live with their wife/husband before they got married, they wouldn't be married to them today because there are so many things that you learn about a person only when you start to live together. Back in the old days, it was taboo to live in before getting married. Today, I think society is more liberated in most places. Anyway, thanks for responding, too. Cheers.
@kid221 (150)
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
Hi Mob.. Getting married in church or in civil rites are both the same, in my opinion, since the sanctity of marriage will be consummated. With regards to the questions which among the two rites make a marriage strong doesn't answer that question. I think it is within both the commitments of the married couple to to be strong with their marriage in the face of trials and problems. I think marrying in either or both rites does not guarantee that they will end up together for the rest of their lives. Again, it will be on our commitment to our partners, honoring our responsibilities and obligations to them, and our ability to make rational decisions for the relationship. Church wedding is binding with the blessings of the church as well as according to the law. You can not marry in church unless you will get your marriage license first. For civil rites, only the lawful public official will administer the marriage rites according to the mandate given by the law of the land to him. Only according to the church, we must submit for marriage with the blessings of a priest. It is still the same for that matter. BOth of you have affixed your signature in your marriage contract and signed a life contract to be the man and wife of your family..
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
4 Oct 09
Hello Kid I like what you said..I agree with you. I posted this topic because there were some people debating on which is most stronger in couple commitments with each other...you're right because civil and church weddings are the same in terms of bonding commitments. It would be for both the couple how they would manage their relationship to last for a life time...thanks for the nice respond...cheers
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
7 Sep 09
In my opinion I think that it doesn't matter one either way as far as the where is concerned. I think that you do need a minister to marry you. But you need to make sure that the person that is setting your vows also has a pretty stable view on what it means to be married. But more important you have to make sure that you are absolutely ready to make that lifetime decision. I made sure that I was ready to be a wife. And that my husband was ready to be a husband. I also had to be realistic about who he was and who I am. We are our own person as well as a joined team. I am not always gonna like him and its not always gonna be that roller coaster love affair giving you the butterflies in your tummy. It will be hard and it is work hard work at times. But we are in it for the long haul and wont stop or give up. We have been married 7 years and I adore him. He adored me. But there are times that we are mad as heck at each other. We got married in a church with a pastor that we both held in high respect.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Yes my friend, one big reason to prevent the couple from breaking up easily would be their respect to their solemnizing officer and their faith, if both are religious believer...thanks for responding...
• Canada
11 Sep 09
For me it does not make a difference. It's not the type of ceremony that makes a wedding strong, it's the people who make the MARRIAGE strong. Two people need not even get married to have a commitment, and those who do get married may or may not last. It is the people who determine the strength of a marriage, not the ceremony.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
11 Sep 09
Yes I got what you mean.What I know Civil wedding is for only here on earth and church wedding is for God's intervention.. but for those truly believers they would of course prefer a church wedding...thanks for responding..
@sugarlen (138)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
We Catholics believe that a church wedding is much better than any kind of marriage. With God's blessings, the tough married life will be easier to bear.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
I understand that my friend because like you do, I have also a faith of my own that believe also Church wedding would still be the best from all Civil because church wedding has really God intervention and blessings..thanks for responding...
@elmiko (6630)
• United States
7 Sep 09
for me any way you get married doesn't show how strong the marriage is going to be in any way whatsoever. it all depends on how you can deal with living with somebody in the long run. some people rush into marriage instead of really getting to know someone. for others marriage just feels natural to them. some people on the hand are just harder to live with than others. some people shouldn't even get married in my opinion because of so many divorces they have had. really when i think about it the strongest marriages are when 2 people with strong religious backgrounds get married in a church. so for me church marriages are the strongest and more likely to last.
1 person likes this
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
I respect you opinion my friend...maybe it depends on the strong relationship of the couple..thanks for responding...
@AKMEDIA2 (328)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I don't think a wedding is about all the glitz and glamour of a church wedding. I think whether or not its church or civil has no bearing on how long a marriage will last. It's whether both people love each other and are willing to work things out.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
3 Oct 09
Yeah you're right my friend...church or civil wedding has nothing to do with a successful marriages. but for those believers church would be preferable that civil wedding...thanks for responding..
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
none of these weddings ensure a long lasting relationship with a spouse. it wouldn't matter if it was church or civil wedding that a marriage would last your whole lives. the documents are the same anyway... but church wedding would be preferable. its romantic and makes the marriage sacred because not only are you bound by the vows and the signature on a piece of paper, you are bound by a common religion and a common faith that you feel more secure in both you and your spouses love because those vows had been consecrated by God and witnessed by God Himself and the people who are the most important in your lives.
@mobhomeir (7558)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Well said my friend...I like that...I agree with you... thanks for responding...