friend in jail

@savypat (20246)
United States
September 6, 2009 11:32am CST
How do you handle this? Early this morning, 1:30AM received call, friend in jail, this friend had been picked up on an outstanding warrant after a traffic stop for broken headlight. The town she is in is 3 hours away from my home. It will be Monday before she is arraigned. She was driving her Mom' $30,000 car, Mom is in another state and not well at all. She has dogs, cats, chickens, and goats that need attention today, she lives about 30 mins away from me. Wait, it gets worse, she tells me they have found an outstanding warrant from another state and that state also wants her. She wants me to get her car, go get her money from her house, feed and care for her animals. So far I have no one to help. Suggestions?
9 people like this
26 responses
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
6 Sep 09
What choice have you got here. She is in problem and has vested her trust in you to help her out while she is under detention. For friend's sake a little sacrifice is needed.
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Good reply. *Pleiades
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
This is not a little sacrifice, it is very large and it means I will have to contact my own friends and ask for help. There is just to much to do for me to handle this myself. I have serious money and health constraints. I have always found help when needed and I am sure that will happen now. But she needs to start facing her own responsibilities and not running away. Thanks
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
7 Sep 09
sometimes people never learn unless they get the hard knocks in life and not coming to her aid might teach her a lesson or two.
• India
6 Sep 09
I never knew that law enforcement agencies are so strict in USA. Your friend gets arrested for having a broken headlight.Well we are quite lucky. My cars red tail light is not burning for so many days, and even though I want to change it, I was not able to do it because I was busy with my official work.Anyhow I will change it tommorow. Coming to your point, as there is nobody to help her, and since her mother is also living in another state, as a good friend, it is your duty to help her. Even though, you have nobody to help you, since your friend is in a big trouble, you have to help her.
3 people like this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
6 Sep 09
The friend was stopped for the broken headlight but was arrested for the outstanding warrants. =)
3 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
The broken light was not the issue, the out standing warrants were. Thanks
1 person likes this
@silvercoin (2101)
• Lithuania
6 Sep 09
It depends on the friend and on the importance of a relationship.I had a very irresponsible friend who just loved to use me when she was in trouble.The only thing I would do - I would feed the poor animals as they can't wait.I would do the rest only for an extremely good friend I've known for years.I can't believe you're the only person in the world to help her.Think twice before you decide.
3 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
I am sure you are right these types of people always seem to come out of what ever situations they get themselves into. Animals are my main concern Thanks
@PeacefulWmn9 (10424)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Sounds as though this woman is not responsible--two warrants? I think given the distances involved, and your own work load and health issues, this is a lot for her to ask of you. While, of course, the decision is totally yours, I would try to find someone to care for the animals by calling around--if she gives you phone numbers, or, I'd give her the money she wants from her home and let her do the calling! If she has to serve jail time in one place or another, I personally would have no choice but to call animal control if no one could be found to care for the animals, as I couldn't do all that on my own. Karen
3 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
If it comes to jail time or even removal to stand trial in the other state her animals will need to be re homed. This is what we do best iin the mean time they will be cared for.
1 person likes this
@Pleiades (847)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Yes...tell her it's out of your hands...but you'll honestly try the best you can. I don't know anyone who would offer their time AND gas to do the 6 hour round trip...but hey, if you can find someone who has absolutely NOTHING to do then go for it. I will you luck more than your friend...because you didn't ask for this mess. *Pleiades
3 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
My main concern are the animals and I will take care of that first. Thanks
@finlander60 (1775)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Let me get this right. She has TWO OUTSTANDING WARRANTS, AND IS DRIVING A $30,000 CAR THAT SHE DOESN'T OWN WITH A BROKEN HEADLIGHT, AND NEEDS YOUR ASSISTANCE. First of all, that car is probably in the impound yard and probably will not be released without payment of those charges. Secondly,she has money at home, of an amount enough to take care of the animals, and, apparently, chose not to pay off the reasons for the outstanding warrants. Thirdly, she has nobody else to call on. Fourth, you have no one that you can call on for help, either. These animals are the losers in this problem. Take care of them, if you can. The rest is up to her.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
You have the cold hard facts and I agree the animals come first. Thanks
@HelScream (2828)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
i have to agree on finlander60 there my friend I think the animals need your help more than your friend
@killersss (639)
• India
6 Sep 09
seriously dude tell her that it's out of your hands. but you should try your best out to do everything and to complete all the task given to you very well at least you should give it a try, i am not saying that you will succeed but you should try at least even if u try then you will be satisfied that you have done something and your confidence will improve and you will get ahead in your life. and that is what important you will get difficulties in your life but you should face them with confidence and you should never give up.
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
Thanks, I will do what I can and the animals come first.
• Philippines
6 Sep 09
I am sorry there savy, i just can't suggest anything. that's a problem she got into. i think it's best to have her a lawyer that would help her with the release. but she asking help from you, i don't know if you're up to it. seems to be that she's relying on you to help her..
2 people like this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
At this point animals are my first concern. Thanks
@dozhou (326)
• United States
6 Sep 09
If you can not handle it, tell her frankly, although it will ruin your relationship. Apparently, it is out of your ability. Leave it alone. Go ahead with your own business.
2 people like this
• United States
15 Sep 09
Well, I am sure you have figured out the solution, since this discussion was posted a week ago. I hope you have found your answers by now. However, if this had happened to me, I would want to know what the other two warrents are for....if they were only minor incidents that she just didn't show up in court for, I would probably do my best in trying to get someone to help her. If she had the money at home to get bailed out, I would try to find a way to get the money to her. If that was impossible, then I would have do my best to explain that to her....and reassure her that the animals will be taken care of. Spending time in jail for minor infractions can destroy a life and make it worse. I'm glad I am not in that position.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
15 Sep 09
Well it took us 5 days to get her out, and she has a court case set for one of the warrants the other is in another state and she is working on that one. One of the big lessons she learned was that she didn't want to go back to jail. I think that all of us involved with her have learned that same lesson. Bottom line was her animals were all taken care of and are safe.
• United States
15 Sep 09
Well, you seem to be a good friend to have ...I hope she realizes that.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
7 Sep 09
That's a tough spot savypat. Maybe if you talked to her mother you might learn about some other possibilities for help. Maybe there are family members that she may not get a long with but would be willing to help if they knew you were being put out. If for nothing else, her mother's sake. Good luck with this one.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
8 Sep 09
Mom no help here, hate/hate relationship. Thanks
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I don't understand people like this. We had a family member that was always in trouble. The problem is that if people keep bailing them out then they will NEVER learn. I say let her sweat.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Well she is going to get to do that, the wheels of justice turn slowly, even more so since the states have no money. They may even keep her a couple of weeks ant then let her go because it costs to much to try her. In the mean time help has arived and I will not have to feed twice a day for her animals.
@artemeis (4017)
• China
7 Sep 09
I do not know why you are placing so much emphasis on the animals when you have a real life friend who is living 30 minutes away from you. Let me simplify things and get a friend to accompany you since you are a little physically inconvenienced: 1. Go to her house and get the money to feed the animals. 2. Whilst you are at her house, call her mother at whatever state she may be in and inform her of her daughter's plight and her car. It's her car after all and if she can afford a $30K car and be away in another state traveling, I am sure she can be more physically and financially capable to see her daughter and get her car back. 3. Call some animal services or other of her friends or her mother to see if the animals could have an alternative home, should your friend get detain for a certain period of time. A friend has called you because she trust that you can do the needful and mindful to her plight. Animals is secondary to me and I do love animals just in case you may think otherwise.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
7 Sep 09
We have done all we can, a friend showed up to feed the animals and will continue to do that for a while, her family has been told but they are poor also and in a different state. It looks like she may be in jail for some time but hopefully someone will be able to visit her and ask her what she wants done with her animals. There is nothing more that we can do for her at this time. I hope she spends some of this time thinking about how to avoid getting where she is ever again.
@junmae (1592)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
If you have spare time i think you should go to your friends house, she is your friend and you have to helped her because she badly needed someone right now. Dont let her alone
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
7 Sep 09
She's in jail, she is not alone and her house and all are safe for a time.
@savak03 (6681)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Are you her only friend or just the one with a soft heart? I agree that the welfare of her animals have to be considered. They can't just be abandoned with no way to care for themselves. You may have to call the humane society though because she is probably going to be away from home for awhile depending on what the out of state warrant was for. She would have saved herself and everyone else a lot of trouble if she had just paid her tickets when she was supposed to. Unfortunately there are those people who think that lack of planning and foresight on their part makes an emergency on their friends part. You have limits to how much you can do, stick to those limits.
1 person likes this
@zoey7879 (3104)
• United States
7 Sep 09
I second that!
1 person likes this
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
6 Sep 09
This is a difficult problem.You can engage a person to look after her animals.You can also lend her money to face the situation.
@savypat (20246)
• United States
6 Sep 09
No money for that, but I will see to the animals if nothing else, they are innocent.
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
7 Sep 09
Oh Goodness Pat that is certainly not good I know a 30 min drive is not that far but in a case like this it is and I hope you are getting help on this as it is not fair on you I really do not know what to suggest Is she back at Home yet???
1 person likes this
• China
7 Sep 09
I think you can take care her animals, and take notice her relative, and about money and her car you should consider a lot, do the friend should do, that's enough.
1 person likes this
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
wow! what a hard decision. i guess its in the hands of the lawyer now. with regards to getting her money, maybe u could with the help of another friend but not you alone ok? the car, am sure it is impounded the minute it is taken from her. her animals, i guess u can do something about it like sending them to shelters (but that would cost would it?) then she has to shelve money for that. of course you have your own financial problems to take care of. i guess thats all you can do. ann
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Sep 09
Wow. That really sucks for her. It seems like you are very trustworthy, people trust you with the house, animals and everything. Reconize that jail only gets one phone call and it was you so you must be very special or close to her. Anyways, If I were you, I would pray to God and do the best I can to help her. I am a very friendly guy and I love to help friends in need. You could ask a friend that she knows to help you out with the animals also. I wish you the best of luck to your friend and yourself. Take care!