based from a real story

By eM
@eLsMarie (4148)
Philippines
September 7, 2009 5:07am CST
LOL! sounds like i based my post from a movie but i'm going to share something about my cousin's decision of choosing a guy over her children. the story goes this way.... my cousin got married from a 17 year old guy who happens to be her classmate from one of her subjects. she was also 17 at that time and since she really wants to be with the guy so our family decided to let them get married after she'll give birth to their first baby. everything was okay until they already had 3 children. my cousin and her husband used to quarrel at petty reasons and so after having the fourth baby they planned to file an annulment since divorce isn't legal here in the Philippines. all of was thought that the reason behind why her husband left is because he was in love with another woman. we hated the guy for so long and even his children were totally against their own father. this year, we found out that the real reason why they broke up is because my cousin was so much demanding when it comes to financial matters. but that's not it... my cousin's husband was now the one supporting his 3 children in their studies but the other child was left alone with her mother and my cousin's other man. she left her own children over another man. the worst thing about it is that they were planning to get married, unfortunately, my cousin was legally married. i just pity the kids because my cousin only thinks of herself. his new guy according to the people who knew him was irresponsible and has a lot of bad records in our society... we already gave up from convincing her to come back.
9 responses
@med889 (5958)
7 Sep 09
This is really bad though because I feel the kids will suffer as usual in such a decision made by parent, the worst thing in this is the future of the children, they are going to grown up with what has been imposed by an adult of the family.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
my cousin's elder daughter was starting to really hate her mother because she saw her younger sister and brother suffer from my cousin's carelessness. our family were unaware that the children most of the skips their meals just because my cousin wasn't able to cook for them because she as so busy calling her new boyfriend.
@med889 (5958)
7 Sep 09
This is really the worst we can expect out of this decision made by the woman. I just hope things can be a little positive for them.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
i'm still hoping that she'll give up her youngest daughter to us because that child was the one who suffers most. my cousin took the child and live together with the guy... if you could only just picture out the physical appearance of the guy, my God!!!!! he's co scary... HUHUHUHUHU
@KaraKATAD (246)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
That's a sad story. Well, I hope your cousin will change soon and realize her wrongs. But as family, I think you should continue to try to convince her to come back. Blood is thicker than water, and you need to show her what she has done wrong. At least her parents must take responsibility for their daughter. Also, the husband with the three children should get compensated since it's hard to be a single parent.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
10 Sep 09
we're already tired of convincing her. if blood is thicker than water, it wouldn't be fair if we're the only ones applying it. if she'll come back, we will still welcome her but if she doesn't, we can no longer do something about it.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
Hello eLsMarie, This is really a sad thing.Your cousin has all the right for herself,but she must think about her children. And having 4 kids already ugh!!!... While reading your story i am having headache too..hehehe.Once married and had 4 kids already isn't she satisfied with her life and concentrate with her kids?I don't think she had enough with her first husband(enough problem not to re-marry again)... I always hate thinking why there are woman who doesn't learn their lesson from first experiences...It's not bad to have another partner(she needs it,thats her opinion)but she have to always consider her kids future,thinking that,she might get pregant from this second guy...whoaaaa...what a conflict and more problem i guess would arise,unless she married a rich one who can afford to send all kids to school then maybe i can say she has this good reason to marry that second guy ...im really having headache (lolz) Anyway,i am happy to read that your family never agree with her wrong doings now.Just hope that you can still give her advice my friend.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
in my own opinion, whether my cousin has children or not, as long as they're married she shouldn't be enter any romantic relationships to anybody... she's always making her life miserable and complicated... i pity the kids a lot.
@trisha27 (3498)
• United States
7 Sep 09
Wow, I can't believe that she would make such a decision as that. That is so sad that she decided to abandone her children like that and leave completely out of their lives and go with someone else. I hope that she eventually realizes what she has done and make the right decisions.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
i think slowly she's starting to realize that what she did is terribly wrong... last time her new boyfriend's mother came into my cousin's sister's house asking our help because she can't handle my cousin's attitude. she told us that my cousin almost stabbed her boyfriend just because she's jealous with her lover's friends... what a life!!!!
@indybaty (373)
• Panama
7 Sep 09
I think that they way this ended is sad for the mother, but it doesnt have to be sad for the children. Trust me, just like Dr. Phil says: Children would rather come from a broken home than to "LIVE" in a broken home. Whatever trouble your cousin had, it just went over her head and it is something that other people with common sense should feel sorry for, because their is nothing more precious, valuable than family. Umm before I dont make any sense (sometimes I have the habit of not explaining myself well so please be patient!). Every married couple has their issues... for a marriage to last it takes commitment,respect, responsability, communication, caring,patience and above all faith, love and hope, if one of those characteristics are lacking, is only a spiral for the worse. When quarrels ar not solved and escalate, when you become so selfish (sp?) that you dont even think about your spouse and childrenĀ“s wellfare, when you try to seek the "answer" to your family problems with an affair or just tagging it with an excuse, that I married too young, that we are different blah blah blah without giving it your very very best and just cruised around hoping your spouse does everything... then, Im very sorry my friend, but I feel that your cousin doesnt deserve this man, even more after all he has done for his family. I will pray for your family, for they will survive after this difficult time, I can sense the strength of your family and even if they are children, they are strong, and they will learn from this.. in one way or the other. I will pray for your cousin as well my friend. Take care!
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
thank you very much for your prayers... the whole family is need of it especially that my other niece is still living with my cousin. i hope that my cousin's lover will really take good care of the child because, weeks ago when my cousin and her daughter visited in their house, i can really tell that her daughter has been losing so much weight. i know that my cousin isn't happy with her decision. she just sticks to her lover just because of her stupid pride. one day, she'll be very sorry for doing this to her children... :(
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
7 Sep 09
It is sad but the ones that suffer the most are the children. I know this is what upsets you and I don't blame you if it were my family I would feel the same way. Just remember that one day when she decides that she wants a relationship with her children that they will be the ones to reject her. She will then know how it feels.
• Indonesia
7 Sep 09
whoa, ite really surprised me, your cousin really is a something, hate her so much that she abandon her child [the worse thing human being doing], why don't you take care of her son instead of asking her to turn back? IMO that is much much much more better for your family
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
the father of the children is the one taking care of them but there's still one child living together with my cousin and her new lover. we wanted to get the other child but my cousin doesn't want us to take care of her daughter.
• United States
7 Sep 09
that happens a lot,unfortunetly.often they find out sooner or later the other man wasn't worth it either..by then it's too late. no divorce in the philippines? yikes.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
only annulment... :( i wanted them to be legally separated so that the children can have a better future with their father... they'll be much safer when their father are the one taking good care of them...
@Khushi309 (139)
• India
7 Sep 09
thats sooo sad. i feel really sorry for ur cousin's husband. he must have been realy strong to put up with ur cousin for so long, seeing as how bad her nature turned out to be. and him taking care to his children even after all this happened, thats really applaudable. and i have negative comments about ur cousin which i shall not make, because i feel i have no right to judge without listening to both sides of the story. but from what i have heard so far, i side with ur cousin's husband on this one...
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
7 Sep 09
before, we used to hate my cousin's husband but later we realized that our cousin was really the cause of the problems... you can judge her anyways she left her kids for the sake of her own happiness. i never imagined any mother can do this to their children... :(