Do you hate flattery?

@daliaj (5689)
India
September 8, 2009 4:26am CST
I hate it to the most and it is something which I can never learn. I have seen people taking advantage using flattery especially at work. One of my collagues got promotion and good hike in salary by flattering her boss. I will never praise somebody if I don't feel it. I won't say a person she looks good in the dress only because she came in new dress. I should feel that the dress looks good on her inroder to praise. What about you?
2 people like this
20 responses
• Malaysia
8 Sep 09
Well,ladies sure love flattery. It is the best form of pleasing someone with things they seldom hear. This will endear you to her and you may have a chance to be her confidante if she trusts you. Yes, it happens at work too. Lady bosses are susceptible to praises from high heaven. So, it would not be surprising that person who do that brazenly, is quickly promoted over others who are more capable.
1 person likes this
@beeduzhe (138)
• China
8 Sep 09
It seems to me that some praise may become some kind of flattery,for example,if a father say to his son like that,wow,you are very smart,it's praise,but the same sentence may become flattery if this father say to his boss.In my point,praise is helpful in some of relations,but we can use it for benefits only.I don't hate it,cuz promotion or more salary can not be achieved by several sentences.It needs some other efforts. By the way,I really hate those people have no skills but flattery,in some words,they are breaking the society rules.And I will praise them for their ability of flattery at the same time in front of other people,let them know how ugly they are... beeduzhe
1 person likes this
@sblossom (2170)
8 Sep 09
I think I have similar idea like you have now. I have never done anything in my life including at work. I don’t know how to do it and I also look down the behaviours. But to many people it’s necessary in life.The world is very practical and I do see some people who use their skill to flatter their boss got big profit. I sometimes understand them. my pricipal is i would not do it but i should have the ability to know who is doing like that and try to avoid them.
1 person likes this
• Boston, Massachusetts
8 Sep 09
hi dalaij, i hate flattery too. if you are not sincere with your words and compliments pleassssssseeee stop saying artificial words and praises it will not work for me. i am very sensitive when it comes to compliments and praises, i know who's doing and saying it for flattery and i can feel who's sincere and really mean it.
@VANILLAREY (1473)
• India
9 Sep 09
I also hate such people. It seems that there is always one in every office. I know I could also do it. But the way I am, I find it hard to lie or say something which I don't think is right or appropriate.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
9 Sep 09
There is not only one person in my office, there are many people like that. I don't like to do it. I have never learned the act of doing it. Even if I do it, I am sure that they can make out it from my face impression. I don't think it is a right way to behave. Thanks for the response.
@zzyw87 (1260)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
I am of the same opinion as you. I like being praised only if it is sincere and true. I don't like people flattering me just for the sake of being nice or having something to talk about. The same goes with me. I only praise people if I really think there is something to praise about. I don't go flattering people and giving false compliments. For example, I don't tell someone he/she looks nice when I don't think he/she looks nice at all. That is why my friends and family know that when I compliment someone, I truly mean it because I seldom give out compliments.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
9 Sep 09
I like your response and I believe it deserves best response. You are very clear about when to praise. Yes, I hate people who flatters just for the sake of attaining attention or get a place in the good book of their supervisors or relatives. I don't want to achieve anything in life by flattering. I have the ability and hardwork with me, that will bring success automatically to me and not by flattery.
• United States
9 Sep 09
I agree we shouldn't praise someone unless we are sincere but I think you have to be careful - you say you don't like flattery and you also don't like too much praise - my question is how do you know they are not sincere? To suggest someone is faking it if they are simply commending you on something can actually be quite rude in itself. I guess some people are obvious with it. But we can also be paranoid and reject the slightest compliment, which I think is a reflection of lack of self esteem, in me - that I just don't believe they could truly think anything good about me so they must be insincere. Which frankly is my problem, not theirs...lol
@daliaj (5689)
• India
9 Sep 09
Too much praise in the sense..........what I mean is.. I don't like it when somebody praise me and I feel that I don't deserve the praise. Otherwise I am fine with that. I don't praise anybody unless I feel that they are worth praising. Hope you got my point. Thanks for the response.
• China
8 Sep 09
Me too. I will not flatter, but also do not want to learn .Dealing with people, sleek point is necessary. By flattery, to gain reputation and status,as the dog wagged his tail ,begging for director to the bone, as ridiculous and pathetic.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
9 Sep 09
Yes, exactly! I have seen many people who use flattery for coming up in life. I don't agree with it and I think those advantages are temprorary. Whatever you achieve by your ability and hard work only will retain with you. What is the point in getting promotion through flattery and not able to do the work according to the promoted post? It is better to get achievements which are worth by your work.
• India
8 Sep 09
oh!! i can actually feel ur pain the same i too experienced when my street smart collegue managed to have her way at everything by flattering the boss. i have constant dreams of knocking her down as well as my boss too. but this world is full of such items.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
8 Sep 09
Yes, the world has lot of people who flatters. My colleague does it all the time and it irritates me a lot. It was constantly disturbing me for a long time and it also affected my sleep and health. Later, I left everything in the hands of god and believe there will be a day of justice.
• India
8 Sep 09
I just detest flattery. The moment a person starts flattering i become cautious and know that the person wants some job out of me. I too don't like singing praises to get my job done. I would prefer to be straighforward and frank.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
8 Sep 09
I hate it when sombody praises just with a hidden purpose on mind. I can't take it if I think the I don't deserve the praise. I will never praise anybody just for the sake of doing it. I don't know to do that. I don't think I will ever do that. Thanks for the response.
@picjim (3003)
• India
8 Sep 09
I fully endorse your view.I can't bring myself to say that which i feel is untrue.But i feel in this material world of ours it is people who resort to flattery that go far.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
8 Sep 09
I am happy to find another person who hates flattery. It is something I am sure that I can never do. I also get upset when people praise me too much. I mean when people praise me for something which I am sure that I don't deserve. Thanks for the valuable response.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
26 Aug 11
Flattery is against moral values. The more it pisses me off when we are not appreciate the true value, and lose to those with low potential, but skilled at flattery supervisor. Bowing and flattery, cancel individual verticality and diminishes them morality . And the man annoys me that no matter how down you want to be is impossible to keep it, because society has learned in all being and its structures, with flattery.
@sasalove (1710)
• China
9 Sep 09
I do not fight for flattery. In my opoion, flattery is a skill that make your life more colourful. I will be in a great and pleasand mood if I got an comment from others and truely form the inner flattery. I feel that I am the spotlight that others could not held paying attention to. Surely I do not like the social flattery that surrounds me, which will drive me crazy and I would not liek to talk to that guy. And old saying, " Every coins have two side" if you can utilize it well, it will be a sharp sword for you.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
8 Sep 09
Well I wouldnt say that hate flattery, but sometimes I do feel a bit a awkward when someone tries to flatter me, especially if there not being honest and there just using flattery to gain something, but if there trying to give me an honest compliment then I guess I dont mind it.
@Bluepatch (2481)
• Trinidad And Tobago
8 Sep 09
Flattery works like a charm depending on who you do it with. In my office it works like a charm and I've seen executives here get through with things others can't because of it. It just makes the other person feel good and reassures them of your co-operation. Once the boss has that he has somebody he can use. That's why it works.
@prinzcy (5082)
• Malaysia
8 Sep 09
I might like flattery, if it's true and sincere. Some might be said with no meaning in it, like just want to go with the flow. Like when I wear a new dress, someone might say, "You look beautiful." because it fit the situation, not because I really look beautiful in that dress. And I hate it for people to use flattery to get something like promotion and to their own advantages.
@dawnald (84129)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Sep 09
I don't take compliments well as it is. So flattery seems just way over the top to me and is very uncomfortable. Especially when it's obvious that the person who is doing it wants something.
@vandana7 (56834)
• India
8 Sep 09
It depends from whom it comes I think. There are a few glib talkers, I get irritated when they do it. But when a person who rarely talks or is very honest almost always pays a compliment, I feel certain it is true. Then I dont hate it, in fact I like it very much. :-)
• Philippines
8 Sep 09
that is what i really hate in an office like that. lots of flattery and lots of left-handed compliments are made just to play favorite with the boss for whatever ulterior motive in mind. we can easily detect people in our workplace doing this. ah, office politics ....
@preethaanju (3000)
• India
8 Sep 09
People who flatter are wolves in disguise. They are unreliable and can change colour like a cameleon... I hate flattery. I know who i am. So even if people say good things about me i hardly care, because i know who i am thx