Depressed about living here ... again

United States
September 8, 2009 12:18pm CST
Hi. I know I keep harping on this subject, but I thought this was the best place to get it out. Talk to someone. I have so many problems, and the only wish I have that I wished could come true is getting out of this place. I did a stupid thing, which made me even more depressed. I went to look for rentals on craigslist. I do that every once in a while. Just to see if there is anything available. There was one, but as always, I can't call about it cause I am broke. The noise around here is unbearable! I keep asking myself why did I have to get sick. Why me? I wish I would get my decision from disability. Its been so long. But even if I could find a place to move to, a duplex or a house, that would be my dream. I still don't have the money to. I can't move any furniture so that will cost money to hire someone. Then these rentals go so fast. And finding one that will take rental assistance plus my cat, that is going to be like looking for a needle in the haystack. I am really starting to hate my life. Now I have a teenager here at home that has become mouthy to on top of everything. Well, maybe my dream will come true someday. Just venting.
2 people like this
5 responses
@satan88 (586)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
8 Sep 09
It's good to vent sometimes as long as it makes you feel better. A lot of people here in myLot would love to listen to you and offer advice. Unfortunately there's not much i can do to help with your financial problems but at least coming to myLot to make some extra cash is a good place to start. Maybe your teenager can help out and get a part job. It could help him or her develop some discipline and self reliance skills.
2 people like this
• United States
8 Sep 09
Hi satan88 Thanks for responding. It does feel good to get it out. It's ok that you can't help, it helps just talking about it. My son does work. He works on the weekend with his dad at a huge hotel. But he does have to use his money to pay his car insurance and gas. Plus he goes to school during the week. I don't want him to work during the week cause he just entered high school. I will just keep praying that something will change in the living situation.
1 person likes this
@lawana_f (327)
• United States
8 Sep 09
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am now on SSI. but it took three years to get it. I had hired a lawyer that said that my back problems dids not need to be turned in to Social Security until the hearing came around. I was lucky and going the the state mental health facility here in south Texas and they told me to go down and fire my lawyer because I have both physical and mental (depression) problems that they would help me. I got my disability in three months after they started helping. It was my children that took care of me and they were teenagers. They took over and paid the house off and paid all of the bills and bought groceries, and paid for my medication. For about a year all I did was set on the couch and veg. I could not do anything. For a long time I could not even do that. Setting hurt to bad. I was lucky and had children that were mature enough to take over and help. (well one out of the three anyway). Now I know that I will never have any money and never be able to sell this place and move into town due to the SSI limitations. I cannot work and have been through 6 back surgeries and will have another one the 22nd of this month. All teenagers go through tha stage you are talking about. It is hard for a parent. But I think the hardest stage of parenting is knowing when to keep my opinions to myself now that my children are grown. I forgot that God is there for us while I was so depressed. When I got better enough to remember Him then my mental health improved some and not I stay on all of my medication and pray alot. I may always hurt and not be able to do much, but having God in my life has made a world of difference.
• United States
9 Sep 09
Hi lawana_f, I can't believe it took you 3 years to get it. I have a lawyer, but I am not sure if he is a good one. I just pray he is. It is good that the state helped you so much. I have severe depression. I have had it since my 20's. I am now 43. My health problems have made it worse. You are very lucky that your kids helped to. Are you a single mom? I am. I was divorced 10 years ago. I am so sorry about all your back problems to. I have a bad disc that causes alot of pain. But I have to exercise everyday because I have diabetes. So I don't have a choice. I am very nervous about getting disabilty. I don't know what is going on. I am waiting to see the judge. I just hope it wont take years. I am only living on child support. It isn't even enough to pay my bills. So I am hurting badly. I have been for the past 3 years. I wish more than anything that I could work, but my depression and physical problems have always interfered with that. I could never keep a job long due to the stress and long hours. I know that God is there for me. I just don't know if things will get better. I pray they will someday so I can work again. But I don't know. I am in pain everyday from my back and headaches. Good luck to you.
1 person likes this
@lawana_f (327)
• United States
9 Sep 09
Like you I have had mental health problems for many years.
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
8 Sep 09
I think I know how you feel. I used to have a good paid job and am now disabled as well. I get half the money I used to get. I want to move away for here too, everyone here is so depressed. It does not make me very happy being between depressed people. I am depressed now too. I too hope some day, I will have a normal life again. I wish you luck, hope your dreams come true.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 09
Hi Margajoe, I understand. I have severe depression as it is and living this way has made my depression worse. I am not thrilled about living on SSI since it isn't very much money, but I don't have a choice. I just hope I get approved. Someday I hope I can get better. I have hope for that. I hope things get better for you to. Thanks
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
9 Sep 09
Yes I try to think of it this way: "Things as bad as they are, can only get better." Someday things will look sunny again for both of us. Take care.
1 person likes this
4 Oct 09
Hi, I do not know your full situation, but it sounds like you are at the end of your tether? I am gussing you hate the place where you live? I am so sorry for your situation, that must be horrible, and to have a mouthy teen to deal with (been there) will not be helping you. I hope you do find what you are looking for in the future, you sound so down.. Keep venting, it does help, and to know that people understand, and can sympathise with your situation. Good luck.
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hi Forestgold, Thankyou so much for responding. You are right. I am very down. I have been for years. When I first moved in this apartment it wasn't that bad. Then all these people started moving in. There has been vandalism (including my car and my son's car) and so much more. I blame myself for moving in here. It isn't fair to my son. He should be living in a nice house like I did at that age. I just wish I had $1000 so I could get out of here. But Idont so I have to deal with it. I am waiting for my disability to come through. I will just keep praying it happens soon. Take care and thanks
6 Oct 09
I'm sorry to hear that hun, I do hope things get better, and that you get out of there a.s.a.p. It cannot be easy, not liking your own home, i hope something else comes along, and soon for you..
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I hope that you don't think that I've neglected you because I haven't. I've just been a bit busy lately but I saved your discussion so I could respond to it. I have a suggestion that may work, if you find a rental that will let you have your cat and of course, you like the place, tell them your situation and see if they'll work out a payment plan so you can get the security deposit paid a little bit each month. As for moving the furniture and all, your son and his friends could help you do that. And please please! Keep calling your lawyer! Call at least once or twice a week to see what he/she is doing and get all the updates. MAKE SURE THEY'RE DOING THEIR DAMNED JOB because they could be holding onto your case in order to get the maximum amount that they can get. If you keep on them, they'll want to get you out of their hair. Seriously.
• United States
5 Oct 09
Hi cats, I am sorry I didn't respond to your post earlier. Today has been very bad. She was making alot of noise again and I banged on the wall two times. Well, this really made her mad and she came to my door and started beating on it. Well, I ignored it. I didn't want the stress of a blowout. And my son's car got vandalized. I wish I could find something. I looked today online and there wasn't anything affordable. I am just so depressed. Ive tried to contact my lawyer but all I get is a machine. I keep trying though. I hope things are better with you. I have prayed that your kittie comes home soon. Take care, hugs
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
6 Oct 09
You need to call your landlord right away and let them know what happened so they can call this air head gal up and put her in her place right now! I'm serious!! You really need to protect yourself and if that means calling the cops and landlord then do it!! As for your lawyer, call him again and this time tell them that if they don't call you back TODAY, you'll find another lawyer who will! That usually works!! Sometimes a few short words makes all the difference in the world! I sent you an email.... I was in a hurry and couldn't finish it earlier today and had to leave in the middle of it all but I finished it, although short and sweet so to speak, but want you to know that I do care!! Hang in there sweetie, better things are in your horizon!