Multiple Marriages....

United States
September 8, 2009 6:12pm CST
Well, I am only 23 but it seems like the term marriage is a common act now a days. I remember like my grandparents and people of that age stayed married and were always together. Sometimes there was love and sometimes people just didn't want to get a divorce. It seems like now people have 2 and 3 and even 4 marriages and I am wondering what is the point in that. I can understand if a person dies you move on but for those of you that have done this did you think you were in love and wasn't? Or maybe you were too young? I would like to know the reason why this is happening so frequently now a days...
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
8 Sep 09
People are not as tolerant as before. We speak up for ourselves more. Especially the women. In the older days it was a sin to get a divorce. Men did not want a women who had had different men. All this has changed when reality took over. It is a fact that people change through the years. When you can except your partners change and or you change together, there is no problem. But lots of times the changes are too much and the partners cannot live together anymore, then it is time to move on. It is sad, I myself thought I found the right man when I was 18. I was married for 9 years. Since then, I have never gotten married again. I am afraid to. I like my freedom. hahaha!
@UmiNoor (3496)
• Malaysia
9 Sep 09
Are you saying, now it's not a sin to get a divorce? So something can be a sin in the older days and not a sin now?
1 person likes this
@Margajoe (4720)
• Germany
9 Sep 09
What is sin? Living together unhappy, to me that is a sin. Father and Mother screaming at each other because they can no longer get along with each other. Children suffer from this too. "When you don't have Love, you have nothing." The Bible even tells you this.
• United States
9 Sep 09
I like the point you made. It was like a sin to get a divorce. People frowned upon it even though the people in the actual relationship was not happy. People do change and I do agree women speak up now for themselves. I know that before women didn't get a chance to speak because they really had no options. They didn't work, didn't have skills and the man took care of them. Now a days women aren't only mothers but have careers and have a mind for themselves.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Sep 09
O.o maybe my view is naive but i would like to say.... ;p it takes two people that really care about each other, that the relationship is styblied by gaining something out of it..... but more like from just enjoying each other's company? What i see relationship starting for wrong reason, which lead to some bad things ;p.... TOO much EYEING/Looks than what kind of person is... or just because they look cool or have money etc.... Well personally i say go for it take it a shot, and before u do just make sure the person you marry you willing to sleep next to at night and wake up to them in morining and still be able to smile, and say "I am lucky to have you" =P
• United States
9 Sep 09
I do understand what you are saying but it seems like people aren't willing to try anymore. Some people get into a fight about something stupid and just don't even try to work it out they just start moving on or don't even want to accept responsibility for anything. I do agree that a lot of people jump into relationships because of looks or money and don't even get to know a person and then it turns out when the looks get old, or money can't buy everything they get bored and want to move on.
• United States
9 Sep 09
also i noticed that a lot of early prengancies lead to early marriges that been on raise for last couple years... which is really bad when kids have kids O.o and that already off to shakey start... I wouldn't be surprised if parent's fault doesn't lay in this somewhere, or just the individual's decisions... if more parents set down with their children to talk about saving it till marriage, or at least age of 21. For Celebrities in some cases is like fashion statement... or is not taken seriously anymore.... Like "I Love You" abused by the publicity so much in promoting products or used on daily bases just loses it language.... In my case since i can speak both polish and english, i use "i love you" in english like normal word cause it butchered so much that it doesnt have it meaning that it used too, but when i say it in polish the person i am with know truly that i mean it cause i say it on very rare occasion just to be able keep that meaning still powerful...
@marctiu (830)
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
I really love your discussion. I too am wondering why many people have this multiple marriage. They say that you should choose a partner well, because that partner that you are to choose is going to be with you for the rest of your life living here on this planet. It seems to me that the saying is already antique and not being used nowadays. I guess that these people are now trying a new method and it is called trial and error. I know that this sounds crazy, but it is the real deal and we have to face this. I may not be agreeing to this multiple marriage because it is so against the law of our God, and the thought of having so many wives, no offense to the Muslim because it is tolerated in your religion. I just want to point this out to my fellow Christian that they should be aware in the Law of God and not take it for granted. You know clearly in your conscience that it is very wrong and you should prevent and avoid it as much as possible. Aside from it is a waste of your time and effort and love. It is also a waste of money. This is all I can share and my opinion to multiple marriage. I hope I am not hurting anyone. This is just an expression of mine. LOLZ.... XOXO
• United States
9 Sep 09
True, but from what i noticed people now days... are REALLY scaried of being "TIED DOWN" both for women and men. Alot of times people get scaried for being with that one person forever... and sometimes just make excuess to get out of a marriage, because they bored, and they want something new, something fresh. Especially with everyone wanting their own freedom and career... and marriage (leading to family later maybe) Is more about the other person and less about you from that point.
@manigp (25)
• India
9 Sep 09
Hi, Now-a-days the mulitple marriages culture happening just like that only.This is because of way of living style changes and culture and generation gab also. The most valid reason, the people do not want to adjust with any one or anythings. Just what ever they want to do, they do. but this will not work in after a marriage. Our indian culture is going away because of this
• United States
9 Sep 09
Adjustment is something that I did not think about. Sometimes one may have to change their ways more than the other and the it is hard to adapt. Some people want to change their partner and not change themselves and marriage should be about both people.
@zhuhuifen46 (3486)
• China
9 Sep 09
Older generation people were caring a lot about family responsibility, and consequences of divorce. The females may also be restricted by their financial status. Nowadays, people more or less tend to follow their feelings, and may feel they can find solutions to their children, if any. Personally, I think one has to think more carefully before marriage. It is important to find the right person, be ready to accept his merits and demerits, and also his background and family.
• United States
9 Sep 09
Finding the right person and being ready to accept everything is a big thing. Also, a lot of people break up because of the others parents or certain family members. I don't see why. I was in a relationship with a latin guy and I am american and I guess everything was different. And when he started chaning (not for bad) his parents hated me and that caused a lot of problems between us. I think in general when we get into relationship we have to accept all good along with some bad..
• India
9 Sep 09
i think your opinion is wrong. i am married and it has nothing to do with havibg duties or contracts.its about the fact that we love each other and plan to be with one another no matter what.if you dont like that,good for you.
• United States
9 Sep 09
I am not saying that marriage is having duties or contracts but it is different then it used to be. Love is a huge part of it and trust. If you love that person and want to spend the rest of your life with that person go ahead and do it. I don't have anything against that.
@satan88 (586)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
9 Sep 09
I don't understand it either. I just think people are more selfish these days. I blame it on western individualistic culture. And while i'm at it i might as well blame the media since they're everybodies favourite scapegoats.
• United States
9 Sep 09
I think some people are selfish too. They get into relationships but still they can do whatever they want without a spouses consent.
• Philippines
9 Sep 09
personally, i still think that is so here in our place. although there are really exceptions to this but only quite a few. i had been a widow for almost 6 years now and marrying again may have come to my thought a couple of times in the past but as i see it, i think i am enjoying myself in this state again ... blessed singleness! yeah, i don't need to adjust to someone else's temperament, seek his opinion or his permission on things to be done and i can just go anywhere alone. let us admit that even if married, there are times that we want to go out alone. in short, it is spelled i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-c-e! (although i must admit that being alone with children to care for has its bulk of disadvantages, too!)
• United States
9 Sep 09
I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T do you know what that means. It is a great feeling to have the ability to do on your own and not seek others permission to do something.
@UmiNoor (3496)
• Malaysia
9 Sep 09
Hello, Previously during our grandparents' time the women only take care of the home and the children. They are totally dependent on their husbands for financial and emotional (if there is) support, so divorce is very low. Because of this dependency, the women would stay with their partner even in an abusive relationship. It has nothing to do with love. Maybe for some but not all. I have a friend whose grandmother seek divorce after all her children are grown up. She now lives with one of her children. So for her it's from one dependency to another. Nowadays, because of education and better opportunities, both men and women are financially independent so if a married couple find that they don't get emotional support from their partner, they'd just go their separate ways and get a divorce. It doesn't matter if you're young or old. It's all about the things that you don't get from your partner.
• United States
9 Sep 09
I totally agree with what you said. I see more and more that women are becoming more powerful and sometimes even have a better career than the man and they feel like they can do whatever they want. They don't stay in the abusive relationships because they know they can make it. Personally I don't think I could depend on a man for everything because you never know what may happen. If I was to get a divorce I wouldn't end up getting anything.
@dbabcook (390)
• United States
9 Sep 09
I personally have been married and divorced twice. My first marriage was to someone about 4 years younger and from England. We did love each other but I think there were just too many relationship barriers as we were from 2 different countries (he believed it should be one way and I another). My 2nd marriage he was 9 years older, he ended up being deceitful and a cheater. So that is why it happened in my unique situation. I have since found a wonderful man whom I wish I had found earlier in life as I can tell in the time we have been together that we would have lasted a lifetime and he has even said the same thing. However, in todays society I feel that a great many people are just getting married either for the sake of saying that they are or for all of the perks that married couple can get. That is just my opinion and I am sure others have different views.