Teenager not going to school.

teenager hiding - she is hiding behind a stuffed animal. She just wants to left alone
@Tazzlady (174)
United States
November 13, 2006 8:30pm CST
I have a 17 year old that is doing everything she can not to go to school. She has even sat in the guides counseler office just to not go to class. She calles me from school saying she is sick or she will start crying in the guides office and have them call me. She is my god child I got custody of. If you have any advice Please help.
3 people like this
20 responses
• United States
14 Nov 06
Tell her if she does not go to school then she has to get a full time job and start paying rent!! Make her get off her lazy but and do something with her life.
1 person likes this
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I do not want her to drop out of school. She does have a job and she pays for her personal items.
1 person likes this
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
This is an update to the problem of her going to school. She finally can and talked to me late last night. It is not a problem with anyone at school. She states, She is walking around in a haze. With her not being able to graduate at the end of this school year. She will have to have another full year of school to graduate. She has found a half way house she can live in while she goes of the last year. They will help her learn how to pay bill, work a buget, and help her find a good job, or what ever she wants to do with the rest of her life. She will stay with us tell the end of this school year. She will be 18 in July. But, I will stand my ground and not sign her out of school. Tough Love is needed sometimes. Life is hard it is better to learn this with someone who cares.
2 people like this
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
15 Nov 06
The halfway house sounds interesting..it is usually hard to find transitional housing for teens when they turn 18. Did you find this through an agnecy or school counselor?
1 person likes this
@Aeval39 (774)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Wow, some of the people that commented on here are really brutal! I've just recently passed the 17-year-old stage, so I think I can somewhat relate to her. This doesn't sound like lazyness, something is obviously bothering her. The first thing I would do is talk to her. From personal experience, it's important to let her know that you WON'T JUDGE her. Just let her talk openly. If she doesn't want to talk to you, get her to talk to the guidance councelor, or a psychologist. Since she is trying to stay away from school specifically, then I think I agree with some of the other comments on here - someone in class is bothering her.. or maybe even a teacher. Good luck, I hope everything's okay with her, and the two of you get this sorted out.
1 person likes this
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thanks
@blazin (175)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I feel for the young one. Depression and anxiety can have a powerful influence on our lives. Things probably just seem overwhelming to her. Not only that whether she admits it or not kids can be extremely cruel. The pressures exerted on teenagers nowadays are astronomical. What she needs is a friend. Someone who will listen and take her side. A confidant. Even if her thinking needs adjusting she needs someone willing to take the steps to help her. Someone who will reach her with love and compasion and help her through this bump in her life. I hope all goes well.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Thank you, I have tried the best I can to be their for her. She has a few friends but they are mostly in Florida where she is from. I only got custody of her when she was 16. She has made a few here but not to many with a good head on their shorlder if you know what I mean. But, she is bond and determed to move out when she is 18. So, I think the half way house is the best thing for her. (Read up-date on first comment)
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Thank you, I have tried the best I can to be their for her. She has a few friends but they are mostly in Florida where she is from. I only got custody of her when she was 16. She has made a few here but not to many with a good head on their shorlder if you know what I mean. But, she is bond and determed to move out when she is 18. So, I think the half way house is the best thing for her. (Read up-date on first comment)
@blazin (175)
• United States
16 Nov 06
Of course you have. You would not even be posting this discussion if you did not care deeply for her. Just keep your head up. Try to remain positive. Think back to what it was like growing up and the intense peer pressure back in high school. Reach the heart and Love her. You'll reach her.
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I'd sit down with her and have a heart to heart, and find out why she doesn't want to be in school. She's going, just sitting in the guidance office. When I'd had enough of school, I just stopped going all together. Something's going on, whether it's someone picking on her, or what.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I don't know if anyone is picking on her. She is not the type to let that bother her. She just does not want to go to school. She wants to get her GED. She has 2 years left cause she has failed several classes in the past 3 years.
@Signal20 (2281)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Just read the previous comments/posts. Why don't you let her get her GED then? I ended up dropping out at 16, took my ged test at 19 and passed. There's nothing wrong with it these days. Maybe it'd be better then to have her fail out of school-which is what's going to happen if she's not going. It's much easier to pass the ged test when you're younger. She'll be 18 in less then a year, what's going to happen if she drops out and doesn't even bother to take the ged test then? I still say there's some underlying problem though. If she's already in therapy, just keep up with that. Let her take the test, and have her get a full time job then. Just my 2 cents.
1 person likes this
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
She wanted to go back to high school instead of going to an adult high school. She made the desation to go to high school not me. I will not sign for her to get a GED if she wants to ruin her life she can I will not help her do it!
@Jshean20 (14367)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
This sounds a bit familiar...is it possible that she's suffering from depression??
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
She is already in thropy.
@brokentia (10396)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Is she taking any medication for depression?
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
No, But I need it. Ha Ha
@baysmummy (1638)
• Australia
14 Nov 06
Have you or the guides office actually tried to find out whats wrong? Has anyone ever thought that maybe there is a problem that she isnt telling anyone? maybe she is being pick on or having troubles with her teachers or whatever, i think you need to tell her that you are there to speak to whenever she needs it and she has to feel comfortable speaking to you about this stuff if she doesnt feel comfortable talking to you then she will never tell you anything! i think something is going on inside that teenagers head or in her class or around or in school that is making her do this! Good luck!
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I am going to go to the guidence office and talk to them tommorrow.
• United States
15 Nov 06
How did it go at the guides office today?
@rakinitin (686)
• Canada
19 Nov 06
My daughter went through the same thing at her age. For a long time during her school years she was getting B's and teachers said had the potential for A's. She indeed made the Honor role in the 10th grade. Shortly after that she went downhill. It was not her friends. Amanda is very straight laced and only has friends who are the same. No smokers etc. Anyway, she began being sick all the time, missing too many classes, coming home after my getting a call from the school nurse and lots of times I knew or suspected she was faking. She became VERY unmotivated. One minute she was fine then the next all hell broke loose. Eventually I suggested she talk to someone outside the school to talk about other things besides school. Eventually our family doctor diagnosed her as depressed. She went to a professional. It took a few years but she is on her own in a different city now and engaged to be married. There are certain phases teenagers go through that are hormone activated/related and they need to learn how to cope while going through it. Life is always changing. None of this is to be seen as any kind of advice or comparison. I only hope some of my words may help somehow.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
19 Nov 06
Thank you. That does help. She is on meds. for depression. I just hope she will understand one day why I did not let her quite.
• India
19 Nov 06
Then plz ask her interest and do accordingly
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
19 Nov 06
She want to get her GED and I will not let her. I will not be the reason why she dropped out of school. I will stand my ground on this.
@GardenGerty (101611)
• United States
19 Nov 06
Where I live we have an alternative school, but it has a long waiting list. Students come in, finish their high school requirements at their own speed and get a diploma. I knew a girl who got pregnant, transferred there, and finished two years within two months. This age is real common for depression and apathy. I hope the halfway house works for her. When she turns 18 won't she be able to sign for a GED herself?
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
19 Nov 06
I tried to get her to go to an Adult High school and she did not want to go. Thanks
@hdbueg (611)
• United States
19 Nov 06
make her go. If she misses too much you can get in trouble for not sending her.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
19 Nov 06
I do make her go. She is aware it will get me in trouble. She just does not care. I have now received a letter stating she refuses to do write off for her being trady to class.
• United States
15 Nov 06
Im sorry that your god child dont want to go to school. When I was 17, I loved going to school. I didnt like studying but I just loved being at school. Maybe she is having trouble with her friends, these day, it better to have at least high school diploma to get a job. Maybe you can sit down with her and just give her time and ask her what going on. Good luck.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Thanks
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I would ask her what she wants to do with her life..there are a lot of charter and technical schools that will teach kids a profession at that age when a regular education isn't working for them... If it were something she was interested in...she would most likely go and learn a way to earn a living at the same time.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I have asked her that and she keep changing her mind. Please read up-date. Thanks.
• United States
14 Nov 06
I would just try talking to her, asking her why she does not like school or if there is something going on with another student or a teacher that she does not like. Just try talking to her and if she is too embarrassed to talk she can write it out and leave it under your pillow and you will do the same.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Please read update on first comment. Thanks.
• United States
14 Nov 06
talk to her
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
Thanks
@suzieque (2336)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
Graduation - 2 girls graduate, cartoon
I think you should have a heart to heart conversation with her. Ask her why she doesn't want to go to school. Is she having problems with anyone in school? And tell her that most jobs requires high school diplomas now, and tell her that she only has one year to go and it'll fly by.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
I have tried to talk to her. She just has to learn thing the hard way.
@krizz420 (4388)
• Canada
14 Nov 06
Id tell her if your not going to school then you will have to get a full time job and start contributing to the house hold bills. If that does'nt work no extras to be given till she smartens up.
@Tazzlady (174)
• United States
14 Nov 06
She wants to get her GED. I will not sign for that.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
19 Nov 06
Don't give in! Is she sees you giving in she will keep doing it. Don't answer your phone, she will have to stay at school or tell the people at work that answer it to say you are out. If you enable her behavior she will continue it.
• United States
15 Nov 06
I think there is something wrong that she isn't telling you. Maybe there is a reason why she doesn't want to go to school and she is hurting deeply. Have you tried asking her if anything is bothering her? I pray you can figure out what is wrong and that she will be fine with going to school soon.
@bhchy1 (6052)
• United States
15 Nov 06
I would ask her what she wants to do with her life..there are a lot of charter and technical schools that will teach kids a profession at that age when a regular education isn't working for them... If it were something she was interested in...she would most likely go and learn a way to earn a living at the same time.
@tonebob (137)
• United States
15 Nov 06
Sounds like you just need to get to know your daughter better, that would help.