Are We To Nice To The Disabled

@erikmama (12929)
United States
September 11, 2009 7:13pm CST
Today while at the grocery, a man was pushing his wife in a wheel chair along with a sopping cart behind him. Several people stopped and offered to help him, and his wife looked rather embarrassed. He looked as if he was also offended. Most people go out of their way to help eldery and disabled people, but do you think sometimes peole are to nice and end up hurting someone's feelings or make them feel bad by trying to much??
1 person likes this
11 responses
@randomz (79)
• Canada
12 Sep 09
i think it depends if they actually need they help or if you are just assumeing that they do
1 person likes this
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I am refering to us assuming they need the help just due to the disabiltiy
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@sender621 (14956)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Disabled doesn't mean helpless. We often treat the disabled like they can do nothing for themselves. Some of the embarrassment should rest on our shoulders.
@satan88 (586)
• United States Minor Outlying Islands
12 Sep 09
Some disabled people like it, some don't. I've seen an elderly and disabled man yell at a girl for not immediatley giving up their seat for him. There really are people who think they deserve special treatment and won't accept anything else. on the other hand, there are people who want to be more self sufficient and would be offended if you went out of your way to help him. Of course most disabled people are very nice and would just feel good that someone out there is kind enough to help him out. so in the end it depends on the person and the situation. You'd never know the persons whole story like how they became disabled or if it's a permanent thing that they've dealt with for ages or if it's just temporary thing they don't want to draw attention to.
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@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I have experienced that to. i think sometimes disabled people want the feel sorry attitude and since most of us do it, come to expect it. Im not saying we shouldnt help people by any means.
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@horsesrule (1960)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I don't think I would offer help unless it was obvious they needed it. Otherwise, they are like the rest of us and don't need help. And when you try to help people who don't need help, well, they're probably not going to appreciate it. That's how I feel about it anyway.
@busybren (258)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I agree. If the situation was obvious, then I would jump right in there and offer my abilities. I try not to "look" for people in need, such as the disabled, because they are trying to live as normal as they possibly can as well. Remember, they want to do things just as someone NOT disabled. They are trying to excel in their own situations too. Besides the fact that they may not appreciate it, they just might find it insulting as well.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
22 Sep 09
You have a good point, but I will atleast offer helop if they look like they need it. I only ask once though!
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Being disabled myself, I get a lot of help from strangers. At first I didn't want it, as I didn't feel I was that bad off. Now, things have gotten worse and I appreciate the help. It was hard to get used to people staring at me, especially kids. In the begining it was kind of embarrassing but now I'm used to it. I find myself hoping someone will get the door for me and stuff. I am always suprised when a young kid helps me or offers to, as they are usually in their own little world. Usually they will say there is something wrong with their mother or someone in their family and they know what it's like. I have a condition that isn't going to go away, it's degenerative, and people always ask me if it's my knees, and assume I'll be better eventually. I got tired of explaining what is wrong with me so I just agree that it's my knees or whatever they think it is.
• United States
14 Sep 09
Very good response Cerebellum. I am glad that now you are able to accept the help that others try to give. I know a lot of people with disabilities who have trouble accepting help out of pride or embarrassment or other reasons and sometimes I wish they would be able to move on and accept help because their life is already hard enough and even a little courtesy help from others could make things somewhat easier for them. You should be proud of yourself for being able to adjust and do what you can on your own but still be able to admit that you need help sometimes. None of us, even those of us without physical disabilities, can go through life without a little help sometimes.
@resssaaa (445)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
Sometimes it depends on the situation. Maybe he did not need the help at all and people just tried to help him. Or maybe he really need help but doesn't want the help. Some people find it offending though, maybe because they are embarrassed of their disabilities but actually there's nothing to be embarrassed about it. They're not the only persons who are disabled so they don't have to be embarrassed. :)
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
No, there is nothing to be embarrassed about because you have a disablilty. But I think a person who is persistnat can casue a bit of uneasieness
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I think a lot of people want to do what they can to help someone who appears to be in need of a bit of assistance. I know I see it all the time. People will offer to open doors or reach something in a high spot, or even help with a shopping cart, as you have said. And yes, sometimes I do think we offend people by offering to help them, though I don't know why this is so.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I offer to help people but if they say no i leave it at that. These people kept persisiting on helping which I think kinda embarrassed them..
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
For me, it depends on how the person would react. If the person is too senssitive, well I think he will be offended. But for those whou are understanding enough, they would understand that all we want is to help them. Helping others is never wrong. Unless if it's helping them doing bad things.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
22 Sep 09
What if it is a complete stranger then you do not know how they will react!
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
there are limitations but i do think some people who are disabled also take advantage of the situation that they are in so we just have to look at it both ways
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Im with you!!
@Hatley (164471)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Sep 09
erikmama no I dont think so and most disabled I dont think' feel that way at all,I know that I, beingwobbly on my brace and my bad leg and using a quad cane sometimes am very grateful to another person who gives me their hand or takes my elbow when I climb up onto a curb from the roadway. I feel about three or four years back and fractured myshoulder so badly I had to have a shoulder joint replacement. so my left arm doesnt worklike it should. so I am dreadfully afraid of falling in getting over an uneven spot or a high curb.so a helping hand is always appreciated by me.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I am grateful that there are still good people who will still help people out. I try to but inthis day and age and where I live it is osmoentimes dangerous
@coolcat123 (4392)
• India
12 Sep 09
Its their way of helping and none should feel hurted as people are trying to help him in any way they can. Instead the person getting help should feel lucky and happy as well that their are many people that are good enough to help others. Otherwise in this era of life, no body dears to help anyone even the neighbours.
@erikmama (12929)
• United States
12 Sep 09
Do you think people make these people feel bad? Like their disability prevents them from doing anything?
1 person likes this
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
12 Sep 09
I know what you mean. Actually most, if not all of them, want to be treated as equal to any of us. That is also why the term "disabled" has been considered offensive because it literally means "not abled". The more apt term now is "differently-abled" because these people are actually capable of doing things, but just not similar to what others can. SOme of the differently-abled does not want (or embarassed) to receive help because they feel like they are a burden to the society. They strive hard to live normally and so they want to be treated normally. Though we people are just trying to be courteous and nice to them, maybe the more appropriate thing we can do is to just provide them with a fair world. We should always follow the Accessibility Law and the Universal Design rules. Examples are providing ramps where there is stairs so they may access them because by doing this, we minimize our need to help them directly but still it shows how much we care for them. other examples are providing door latches and lever-type handles instead of knobs so those without hands may access the door. Providing Braille for every signage, employing large cubicles on public places, and sensor-automated facilities also help them live normally.