Self Esteem and Happiness

@alokn99 (5717)
India
September 12, 2009 1:29pm CST
We come across this so very often Building self esteem and self confidence is the key to happiness and success. We generally believe that those who are happy also tend to feel good about themselves. Can you have a high self-esteem and still be unhappy ? Researches say that it's not always neccesary that people who have a high self esteem be happy. They give the examples of those who have "what it takes", but have not got where they want to. Do you believe that to be happy one has to have a high self esteem or having a high self esteem will make you happy ?
5 people like this
8 responses
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
12 Sep 09
I would just say what I think. I feel happiness is just a state of mind. It has little to do with self esteem. Self esteem does make us braver, more beautiful, assertive but there are people with low self esteem but happy. Many times, people with high self esteem, makes a person yearn for more and run after something which doesn't exist at all! On the contrary, a person, who has low self esteem, could be happy for no definitive reason.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
12 Sep 09
You are very right on both the aspects that you have shared Mimpi , and i too have seen these characterestics as well. On the other extreme, we have the examples from people having dictatorial or have the self esteem of authority but are not happy. Happiness is indeed a state of mind.
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
12 Sep 09
So true! High self esteem, well bit to high that is, could lead to offshoots of paranoic situations making people unhappy. People could be happy without a dime and not so even with the world with him.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
In fact as part the research they found that happy individuals with low self-esteem experienced more positive than negative moods. They can exist independently.
@balasri (26553)
• India
13 Sep 09
Both self esteem and happiness are different states of mind. Self esteem makes one to accept the responsibility for his actions. Self esteem means that you have integrity, motivation and are proud of your accomplishments. Self confidence makes you to trust in yourself and that makes you more lovable to others. So nothing could go wrong in being happy at the end unless you refuse to be happy.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
Very true Bala. It's your self confidence which speaks.
1 person likes this
@balasri (26553)
• India
14 Sep 09
Well it is words like these that keeps alive the self confidence of anyone.
@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
12 Sep 09
I think that is a question like "which came first the chicken or the egg?" The best answer would be a perfect circle has neither a beginning nor an end. I stole that from J.K. Rowling. To be happy temporarily self esteem is not a big deal if other people build up your happiness, but as you become happy, self esteem will follow, if only for a time, and if you build up your self esteem then happiness will follow. Like that you know.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
They can be seperate and be together. It's different for people i guess. Thanks
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@CJscott (4184)
• Canada
13 Sep 09
For me they are connected, self esteem is feeling good about who and where I am. If I can't feel good about that I can't be happy.
@KrauseHome (35522)
• United States
22 Sep 09
Personally I think it is quite possible to have High Self Esteem and still be unhappy. Many times people who become Doctors, Lawyers, etc might have made it once because that is what they truly wanted to be, and be very Happy and have others Happy with what they have become, and then as time passes things happen in their life and they find themselves feeling disappointed and unhappy and then feel like a failure because they think this is wrong for them to feel this way as well. I think this is why it is very important for so many to Stop and take a look at their life and what is going on around them all of the time, and make sure they are really Happy with where they are at. And when they find there are things in their life that are bothering them then it is time to take a step back and figure out ways for them to become happy with life again itself.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
22 Sep 09
I agree, We have to take time to reflect upon ourselves and where we have reached. Thanks
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
13 Sep 09
Hmmmmmmm, this is an interesting question Alok! My immediate thought was that yes, a person with a high self esteem must also be happy! But then I thought about it some more and came to the conclusion that the two don't necessarily have to go hand in hand at all. Self esteem is a basic human need really. It's the ability to evaluate oneself both positively AND negatively in order to determine a way forward. It's a self generated motivational approach that is often implicit, so not necessarily always a conscious action. Happiness is a state of mind! It's an emotion that requires a deeper level of thought and belief to exist. All in all though, I would generally think that happiness in a person is likely to generate a relatively high level of self esteem within them in parallel. The vice versa of this in relation to high self esteem=happiness is not so assured though in my opinion! I can be motivated or self analytical in order to do what needs to be done in life, but I'm not always going to be happy about what it is that I'm achieving!
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
That's what had occurred to me as well James, keeping one's self esteem up need not bring happiness as well. There are instance of people who are relatively happy with their simple things in life and yet have a low self esteem as well. Thanks
1 person likes this
@smilyn (2964)
• United States
12 Sep 09
I don't think having a higher self esteem can make you happy..I personally feel that higher the self esteem lowered are your happiness..You tend to be more conscious of your activities when you have a higher self esteem..So it makes you to look out for things rather than being natural..I think this can reduce your level of happiness more increasing it.
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
What you say is quite true. Thanks
• India
13 Sep 09
no doubt self esteem and happiness are interdependent.a happy person definitely feels more worthy and is high on the quotient of self respect.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
Thanks
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
13 Sep 09
People with high self esteem are generally happy with themselves and the world if their desires are realistic or while being ambitious they still have equanimity of mind.THis obviously means that when they do not have that state of mind ,they think that the world is at their feet and if their desires get unfulfilled they make themselves miserable.People with low self esteem can get unhappy if they set their goals high --they would lack the confidence to make efforts in the right direction and would once again feel unhappy.So, everything depends on their state of mind and drive within themselves. Whether a person has high or low self esteem , one's happiness ultimatley depends on the level of contentment one has.
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
13 Sep 09
It's the state of mind, as you have put it and happiness is a state of mind. Thanks