Big problem with my Girlfriend please help me?

India
September 13, 2009 8:48am CST
Me and my girlfriend use midnight 2O clock to talk togather because of family members of Girlfriend. Yesterday when i called to my girlfriend then her mobile is Busy. her mobile is busy upto 1 hr. I send her 5 Messages to call me.That time i was angry and i send her messages of "You are lying to me...","You are playing with my feelings ..."Then after she switch off her mobile. Now when i am calling her she is Cutting my phone and switch off. Now we have no communication.Now i don't know what to do I know she is flirting with me but i am ready accept her.Please help me .... i dont know how to resolve this matter
8 people like this
38 responses
@derek_a (10902)
14 Sep 09
I would have to find out the true reason behind her behaviour and maybe there is another explanation you haven't thought about. As difficult as it is, you would need to remain patient until you get to see her face to face. Phones can be stolen or malfunction. Unless we can see for our won eyes what the problem is, then we cannot know for sure. - Derek
3 people like this
@Loverbear (4928)
• United States
14 Sep 09
You shouldn't have gotten angry. The girlfriend is in a bad position since her family really doesn't like you. Put yourself in her shoes. She is stuck on the phone with someone, possibly a family member, and when she finally is able to get off the phone she finds these horrible messages from someone she has chosen to love and trust. Is it really that she is flirting with you or is it that she is badly hurt by your calling her a liar and that she is playing with your feelings? You obviously aren't ready to accept her, as you behaved very badly! You need to let things settle down and let her get a little less hurt by what you said. Then when you finally get to talk to her, apologize for the horrible messages you left for her. I know if I received those kinds of messages from my boy friend I sure wouldn't be anxious to hear from him any time soon. And I sure wouldn't be FLIRTING with him by not wanting to talk to him or accept any communications from him. I would be hurt and angry at the childish and immature behavior that he exhibited. Now, you need to get a grip on your feelings and be patient. When she is ready she may contact you. Don't push things and think about the difficult position she is in, and not what YOU want.
3 people like this
@kprofgames (3103)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I have a few questions please. How long have you two been dating? You say that her family doesn't approve of you? or do they not know about you? I guess that is alittle confusing for me too. If she is on the phone, why do you think she is playing with you? She is busy with another call? Why would you interrupt that she doesn't care if she is your girlfriend?
2 people like this
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
20 Sep 09
Don't you hate it when the op doesn't bother to acknowledge their responders...especially when they ask questions???
@wolveren (1569)
• Cebu, Philippines
14 Sep 09
Two things. If you love her that much go find a way to settle this once and for all. If not, move on. If she doesn't want you to talk to you. Drop it. There is no sense in pursuing something that doesn't wanna be pursued. I hate playing games of catch me if you can.
2 people like this
@cbakin20 (151)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Well I'm not so sure that she is flirting with you. I can't believe that she is flirting by cutting all communication with you. I think that she's actually ignoring you, and she's doing it because you sent messages accusing her of something. You should try apologizing and figuring out a good way to get back close with her, otherwise you may just lose her forever.
2 people like this
@Maggiepie (7821)
• United States
14 Sep 09
[b]You actually thought it was a good thing to go against her family's wishes, & sneaked phone calls to their daughter at late hours? How could you think that was right?! Anyway, it sounds as if she has already "resolved" the matter. She has cut you off, & it was a good move, as you are obviously immature & unable to deal with a bit of frustration. Your accusations were baseless, from what you said, & the vitriol with which they were delivered would be grounds enough to cut you loose. But if she really thinks her cutting you off is "flirting," perhaps she's just as immature as you! I think you got what you deserved, & you need to grow up. Maggiepie "WHERE'S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?"[/b]
2 people like this
@debbie_19 (228)
• Las Pinas City, Philippines
14 Sep 09
You should have been patient. You're thinking too much. How long have you been together? Go to her house and talk about it over a cup of coffee or tea. And never forget to be calm and try not to be subjective and judgemental. Try to listen to her explaination first before jumping into conclusions.
2 people like this
@bamrahkirti (1819)
• India
14 Sep 09
Ya it must be very hard for you.I just want to know if there was any misunderstanding going on between two of you before?She might be angry with you that is why she has kept her phone busy.Do not worry,time is a great healer,everything will be perfectly all right.
2 people like this
@taztheone (1726)
• India
13 Sep 09
Ravi, something like this can really get you tensed & I can perfectly understand your feelings. Because once upon a time even I used to b the same. Now I have Learned to control my feelings & how to deal with girls. First of all please don't keep your complete heart oh her even if you love her really o much. If this relation breaks up, Obviously you will get a new girlfriend. So try to learn the game of hearts so as to succeed with relations. Now what you can do here is cool down. Calm down rather than going with the pressure. Tim is your answer. Give some time, may b a day or two & then try to contact her someway & unless you contact her, you won't know what actually happened. When you talk to her next time, don't show her that you will die without her & have an attitude that 'if its not her, then someone better than her' but don't be rude or show much attitude. Life will move on & after a few days of trouble, everything will again fine because its the game of life. If you patch up e=with her then that's good or if there was some problem, try to solve it in an intelligent manner. I was similar to you around 4 yrs back. Never think that girls are life but girls come & go, definitely hurting your heart. Some times I like that feeling of hurt. I'm sure things will be alright in your life Happy Lotting
@snowy22315 (56053)
• United States
13 Sep 09
taz the one has a good perspective on this. Let her wonder about what you are doing for a change. I think it is good to branch out and have some other interests other than possibly caling your gf every night. I hope you can resolve the rest of this situation. It is not good to feel used and taken advantage of.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (56053)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I would just back off for now and do nothing. Let her come to you because she is just kind of playing you for whatever reason. She may have a logical explanation but it might just be that she wanted to see how you would react. If she is looking for a reaction, don't give her one. If she has an innocent explanation I'm sure she will tell you.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Sep 09
I am agree with your opinion friend , Just follow it right now ,happy later :-)
1 person likes this
• Jamaica
16 Sep 09
I believe you are way too sensitive. Something could have been wrong with her phone sweetie.You could have also scared her off by the way you were acting.The best thing to do is wait for her to come around, give her some space. Then when she comes around sit and talk to her about how you felt.
1 person likes this
@AKMEDIA2 (328)
• United States
15 Sep 09
I don't think she is flirting with you. I think in my opinion she is upset since you accused her of lying to you. You need to try to apologize and let her know you didn't mean it in that way and that you were just scared or worried about her or whatever it was.
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
15 Sep 09
If I understand correctly like another mylotter her family does not approve of relationship. Maybe she was at a family function and could not answer the phone, it could even be that someone else was using her phone when it was busy. Could that be possible? I do not know how long you have been with girlfriend or if this is a long distance relationship and the phone is the only way for communication. Jumping to conclusions before giving her a chance to explain sure does not help the situation. It may make her defensive the next time she does speak to you. People do not like to be accused of things when they are not happening. You should be able to tell when you do get to talk to her the next time whether she is blowing you off or if mylotters are right and it is actually innocent.
1 person likes this
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
15 Sep 09
Hello friend, I understand what you feel about this. But don't be a fool, for a feeling that is not real. You said that she is only flirting with you. Why are you being so reacted? Just leave that feeling with your girlfriend. She is not love you, my friend. If you continue loving her, I don't think if you have a peace of mind? Those kind of girl is not worth to be love. Their wants is only to played and need not be love. There are many girls out there, my friend. Girls that really worth to love and be love. But if you want her to be by your side. Don't communicate with her through phone. Just go and talk to her for good. If she really that hard to understand the situation...Thar's the time you decide and think my first suggestion...Have a nice day!
@jdyrj777 (6556)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Her family may not be allowing her to communicate. Or...if what you think is real why would you want to keep communication???
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Sep 09
this is a long distance romance? If so, then email her with the subject being I 'm sorry. Write what you really feel about her and then you have to do the hardest part, wait. if she doesn't respond to your email, then it maybe over. Her feeling may have changed. If this isn't a long distance rlationship, then go to her and tell her you are sorry and see if you can star again. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@clarkbody (141)
• United States
14 Sep 09
I was just reading the responses of others and I noticed that you have been given some very helpful advice. I hope it helps. The only thing I would like to say is to reinterate that you need to settle down and just give her time to contact you. Then ask her what happen. You may find that you are getting all worked up over nothing. Also, if this is a sign that she may be wanting to move on, then you must let her do so. Allow people to be a part of your life, but you also have to let them decide whether they want to stay or not. If she's ready to move on then you have to let her.
1 person likes this
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Getting angry never works. Making demands of her also never works. She's not yours to command. She might have decided that you think she is your property, and has cut you off. Back away. Give her space. If she doesn't come around, then she's not interested in you.
1 person likes this
@drakkar (50)
• Philippines
14 Sep 09
This situation is very common to lovers. Every relationships needs to be stronger that if you care much for the relationship. Every experiences in a relationship particularly this what we called lovers quarrel certainly is among those factors that make up a strong relationship. All you need to do is understand the feelings of your partner. Give both yourself a time to relax and unwind, after that try to talk to her seriously. Im pretty much sure that when that time come, an open mind is at hand.
@ladygator (3469)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Are you sure that your girlfriend is not married? It seems like a very suspicious thing. Usually when someone does a thing like this they are hiding something. If her family is very strict and she is worried about them, there could have been something going on at home. When you started saying the negative things you most likely turned her off. That type of aggression can be viewed as a potential controlling relationship.