GOOD GOD , " You're Getting so BALD HEADED" !! Thanks Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

United States
September 13, 2009 10:40am CST
Yes that's exactly what my Dear old 82 yr. old Father told me this morning in that usual nasty condescending voice of his; It's nothing I've not heard a million times but yes I've always had thin hair and since 1996 when I had the car accident, had a bazillion trigger point injections shot into my neck, and skull, been on a boat load of medication all these many years, Yes my hair is thinning, thank you for reminding me, but he forgot to mention his other usual nasty remarks of ............ Good God You're getting so FAT..... D U H !!!! YA THINK????????????????? OR When are you gonna get that BROKEN TOOTH FIXED???????????? ummm When hell freezes over and I'm suddenly rich.. I am quite aware of all my flaws, but he is quick to remind me if not weekly, or daily you can bet its MONTHLY.... What a nice way to start ones Sunday I had gotten up and was in a "fair mood" until I left the farm but I'm trying to NOT let it get to me but it does; You've no idea of the VERBAL ABUSE I've endured in my 48 years of miserable life; He is quick to forget that his daughter ( me ) is the only one around to help him out when its needed, and he is quick to forget that he is not as perfect as he thinks he still is or used to be; Since his lung cancer bout about 5-6 years ago he too has put on LOTS OF WEIGHT...(G)! Yes I must admit it does give me great pleasure to see him with a big old Gut of his own; what can I say?? I've posted a picture of him when he attended a wedding this summer when his b!tchy-faced sister was here visiting back in JUNE...UGH!! I'm so glad I have mylot to come too to post about my feelings and such, I'm also glad I have my own blog, which I need to do lots of updating and writing on, it helps me air out my feelings... Do you or have you had a parent always putting you down?? Verbal abuse from a parent or other spouse? How's it make you feel?? I'm sick to death of it myself, but to be honest when my Father does pass away, I look forward to starting my life, I've been here for one of my brothers when he was sick and dying, and I was here for my Mother when she was sick and dying, and I've been here everyday of my Ogre of a Father's ill health, but where is his precious son????? He's busy with the stock market, and golfing, and well living the good life!! I know God loves me even with all my physical and mental flaws, and I know that all my beloved pets love me and that's all I care about, so now matter how many times a week my Grouchy a$$ FAther verbally attacks me I will hold my Fat balding head up high!!! So there!
3 people like this
9 responses
@jerzgirl (7978)
• Gloucester City, New Jersey
13 Sep 09
I know what you mean, girl. It doesn't matter how much we accept about ourselves, how much we know that THEY are the ones with the insecurities that require that they put us down to feel better themselves, the crap they say still hurts! My dad used to tell me or say in front of me how when the doctor asked him what he wanted (when Mom was either pregnant or in labor), he'd told the doctor "anything but a red-headed daughter". The last time was when my ex told him how he'd had a dream that I was about to give birth to a "Pippi Longstocking" - Dad said, almost without a gap of time, "Don't even say that!!" He then proceeded to tell my ex the same thing and then said, "And look what I got!" I was 31 - THIRTY-ONE YEARS of hearing that same crap over and over about how he wanted anything but a red-headed daughter! And here he was now telling my husband. As soon as I got Mom alone, I told her I'd had enough, that I was tired of hearing how I was not wanted, that it was time for Dad to grow up and shut up. She must have said something because he never said it again the rest of his life. No matter how much we've come to accept ourselves or to realize that we are NOT the unlovable things others might try to convince us to be, it still hurts that these people never have anything good to say and always feel the need to put us down to make themselves feel better. The digs always hit their mark, even after we've become strong enough to no longer believe them (and yes, hearing this sh1t from childhood on can cause you to believe that YOU are flawed, not them).
3 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 09
Photo of My Father taken in June of 2009 - This is dear Old Dad, 82 yrs. old and still a Horses's Pa-Toouuuttt!!!!!
Thanks for responding Girlfriend; Trying again to attach the silly photo that's supposed to be here; @@##$$##@@!! crazy Mylot hates me today (G)! Anyway I knew if anyone could understand it would be you as You've had to deal with so much too in your lifetime, same old sh!t basically; I'm so sick of it I really am. I wish I could just pull up stakes and MOVE FAR FAR FAR FAR AWAY.... but unless God dumps a boat load of money on me that ain't gonna happen either; I don't wish more cancer on my Father but I still Ask God a lot, God why can't you just rip out his voice?? TAke away that evil forked tongue of his for me?? Why God , Why?? it would be a blessing for me if he'd just SHUT UP....I know shame on me! Well I like red hair, so there!! Shame on your Father and Shame on mine maybe they will cross paths someday wherever that may be and they can fuss and cuss each other out huh? LOL!! I just don't want to be there; Well one way or another I have to get my silly broken tooth fixed, and soon , and once I start to lose my gut, ( mega weight) I guess all he'll have to b!tch about then is HOW MUCH WEIGHT I am (hopefully) gonna be losing, will more than likely lose more hair..(sigh)!! maybe I'll get a wig! HA!!! I just really needed to get it off of my chest today, I could post about his nastiness on a daily basis but I don't...I swear I could write a book and who knows maybe someday I will...won't that just p!ss him off whether he's alive or rolling over in his grave then...ROTFL!!!
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
13 Sep 09
And you put up with this abuse? Why? Why not make him appreciate you by backing off quite a bit? Don't go to his aid every time he rings the bell!! And when you do go to his aid, the first damned time he cuts you down, you should walk away right then and there and leave!! You do not deserve such treatment from ANYbody but especially not your father! Trust me on this because it's exactly what I had to do when my mother got so sick and now they're feeling every bit of it because neither hubby or I are there daily or even weekly basis anymore. We got damned sick and tired of the abuse, and yes it was verbally, so we backed off and it has worked like a charm! Now they're so happy to see us and welcome us with smiles and open arms. Let your father wallow in his own charm for a while to learn all the things you do for him then maybe he'll change is attitude towards you. If not then don't go back!! Let him figure out how to manage! He has such a mouth, let him figure out the rest!!
2 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 09
Hi Cats, how are you?? WE've had so many major blow up's over the years its like breathing, I don't know how to function without being be-littled and ragged upon; I have three pets still out at the farm, so there's no way to ignore the Grouch on a daily basis; Even when I am sick like I was last weekend with the flu, I had to drag myself out the door and run to the Farm to see to my Pets, I dare not ask his highness to do it for me for one stinking day, he'd rather shoot them all than to take care of 2 dogs and a cat for his daughter that he already despises...you know? Its a long drawn out ordeal Cats as to the "why" I do what I do for that man, hopefully I will be rewarded for it when I die cause I'm sure not getting anything for it now in this lifetime; I finally got the photo to attach ( sorta) to this discussion, if you read this go back up to Jerz's response the photo is there;
2 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
14 Sep 09
Yeah, he even looks like a pop bellied grouch! Boy does he have a lot to talk about!
1 person likes this
• United States
15 Sep 09
LOL! Exactly... His Gut and weight are the results of his medication after his lung cancer, his heart problems, breathing problems and just plain NASTINESS , we all have MAJOR GUTS in our family but I'm just the prime target for some reason...he has to have someone to "bi!!!!TTTCCCChhhh about...
@ElicBxn (60771)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I guess you must love him on some level because I'd bet the AH leaves what ever money he has to his son...
2 people like this
@ElicBxn (60771)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I don't know how it would be if it were my father, but when the roomie's father does that kind of stuff I shot it right back at him - your getting fat too - looked in a mirror lately? or mustta gotten it from you...
2 people like this
• United States
15 Sep 09
LOL! Yeah I've smarted off those kind of remarks too for many years all that gets me is another hour long ranting from him and that mouth of his;
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (60771)
• United States
15 Sep 09
well, ya know, you have the control of walking a way, not talking on the phone and leaving him to stew for a few days - shunning actually works
@Tantrums (949)
• Philippines
13 Sep 09
I guess that's why they're called parents (Pair-Rants) My mum would usually notice every flaw, Including hairstyle! But I don't care, as long as I'm confident in what I have, I'm okay...
2 people like this
• United States
13 Sep 09
HI Tantrums: I love that name (G)! Welcome to Mylot!!! I also liked what you said here, Our Parents being referred to as ( PAIR-RANTS ) that's Brilliant!! LOL!! And oh so true;
1 person likes this
@kellyjeanne (1576)
• United States
20 Sep 09
He sounds like a dream of a father! Boot him in the butt for me! What kind of a dad is he to be that way toward his children? It reminds me of my family and how they all were toward me. That's why I haven't had any contact with my family for over 15 years. Remember that you are a good person and worthy of being treated well by others. God bless you, sweetie! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija P.S. Mija will be glad to scratch his eyes out for you!
@yecal10 (145)
• United States
14 Sep 09
I also have had thin hair and yes, it is upsetting and makes one feel so vulnerable. As to your father's remarks, remember this: When he judges you as "something," it doesn't make you that something, it just makes him a person who needs to judge. As to waiting for your father to pass away to start your life, start your life now. The future is but a dream. Now is all there is.
@GardenGerty (96818)
• Marion, Kansas
13 Sep 09
The stress of dealing with all of this disaster plus his downrating is probably a BIG contributor to the baldness and to the fatness. My mom never was deliberately hateful (to her way of thinking) but she did get in some pretty good verbal blows. I miss her. I also know that what she went through growing up was ten times worse, and that she learned her sharpness at home.
@Polly1 (12649)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Here ye, here ye, lets hear it for Jan. you know I'm a fan of you, I will be on your side. In some ways you and me have lots in common. I have an opinionated momma, she can be something. She has mellowed some, she has to be careful with me, I am the only one she has here. My two sisiters live out of state. I even tell her she has to be nice to me, I am all she has. She has a friend that has a negative opinion about everybody and everything, it drives my mom nutty. I tell my mom that is her punishment friend, she is a payback for all the attitudes and negative opinions that she has given to people. If you ever need a sympathetic ear, I'm here, I promise I will be nice.
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
13 Sep 09
Hi Jan, How rude and mean your dad is to you. Where do people get off judging your appearance or anything else about you. Next time your dad says something about when are you going to get that broken tooth fixed, tell him when he gives you the money. When my Mom was alive, she and my twin used to talk about my weight behind my back. After I had my hysterectomy I struggled with my weight and now because of all my health issues my weight is uncontrollable. My mom and twin would have a hay day. My hair has thinned over the years from medications as well. People are so quick to criticise heavy set people blaming it on overeating and lazyness. It's so wrong. You hold your head high!! Hugsss Leenie