Do you wish all to respond your discussion as you want ??

@krajibg (11940)
Guwahati, India
September 15, 2009 1:26pm CST
Hi Loters, I am neither friendly nor inimical in my approach and I call a spade a spade. Would you still add me as your friend knowing that I am far from the cheap flattery? Many a soul is there who would dare not to contradict the prevailing theme and view in the discussion and if has to respond at all, does supporting the view or the perspective of the discussion starter. They are afraid of many things, such as rating, color of the star and all goody goodyness. How do you deal with such people keeping this point in view that thee is hardly any one who does not love flattery? Please share your view. love Rajib.
7 people like this
21 responses
• Dominican Republic
15 Sep 09
I could use some cheap flattery, but I don't really want it... When I think of a discussion I spect people to express their oppinion, with no holds back. I think honesty is the best asset a person can have, and when I say honesty, I mean STRAIGHT HONESTY. I'm one of those people that says what they think and don't change their mind because of what everybody else thinks. Happy MyLotting and have a nice day! xP
3 people like this
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi haylie, Nice words. None could be blamed for getting carried away by flattery be it cheap or serious. But in the process one is expected to see the bottom lines of the discussion. I do never expect all to respond on the line of the discussion for a discussion topic once posted is a public thing and the starter must be ready to see all sides of the things and should not expect unnecessary flattery while one puts his/her foot on your shoe and say what your post is saying. This is surely unwarranted of.
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
15 Sep 09
Hello my friend Personally I love a good debate, but its hard to do that here, written words don't come across the same as a spoken word so you may mean one thing yet your words are taken totally different then intended, its hard to be 100% honest in here although I try to be but you have to be careful, so I may say something one way but really would like to say it another, but I say to myself be careful how you word this it may be taken wrong,I respond from my heart but there are times I avoid a discussion if I can't find the right words for a particular discussion, I can't count that amount of times I have deleted because this may be taken wrong or that may be taken wrong, its not easy, this has nothing to do with my rating this has everything to do with how I want people respond to me. I know what you mean, but this is my take on it, hope you understand. Good question.
2 people like this
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi kitty, this phrase 'you have to be careful' speaks a lot. Why I need to be careful as far as it is a discussion and and a discussion could or should have diverse opinion placed and all are treated equally thinking that they all are healthy in their own way and accept that unless the opposite views are there and therefore the discussion is lively and hence fruitful. But this is not to be seen here. But why? There would be no fruitful discussion unless you are at liberty to air your reasoned and weighed out point of view.
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
23 Sep 09
Hello my friend What you said is true and would actually be wonderful, too bad we are not living in a perfect world, filled with perfect people Mylot is a great place and I would never deny that, we have alot of great posters here as well, but we also have some mean judgemental people here, I believe the good out weighs the bad. we all feel different, so you do things your way my friend, and I will do things mine, either way we will step on toes this is a given. Thank you. how have yo been? been a few days hope all is well.
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi kitty, What you have added is is all legit but how many of us are there to call a spade a spade when situation arises in such a manner that you are left with no choice but to accept or deny. In case you have denied the prevailing thing you are doomed and just tell me who wishes to be thrown to hell? Mylot is a great sie and there is no grain of doubt about this but there is need to modify some of the rules and the dos and the donots.
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
15 Sep 09
I am a dedicated devil's advocate. Controversy, contradiction, rant, stand up, supporting the truth or an idea .. that's what I breath instead of regular air :-P I don't get to understand people who are affraid to support an own opinion, specialy if is "against the wave". Oh, sure, diplomacy, yes, I know, I use when I consider is necessary. Yet diplomacy can't replace the reality. Therefor when I feel I'm against what one say, I speak up. And that won't stop me to be best friend with the one I stand up against. I know not all can do that .. And sometime I feel I need to stand against just for the sake of re-ignite one conversation .. that's what a devil's advocate should do anyway
2 people like this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Sep 09
No, you're NOT a devil's advocate. So there!
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
15 Sep 09
me - yes, I am dawnald - no, you are not me - I know I am dawnald - you don't know nothing me - really ? dawnald - yes, really me - ok, then I am the devil dawnald - no way, I am me - then I am the advocate dawnald - no me - but yes dawnald - no! no! no! me - oh, c'mon .. dawnald - nope me - stop that! dawnald - hehe, don't you know that a woman will always must have the last word ?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Sep 09
lmao You let me have the last word even though you had the last word.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
15 Sep 09
Hi raj, I love flattery, it boost my ego. But make no mistake I am not easily convinced by flattery. I read you loud and clear. I don't see anything odd about you. I am able to get along with all the nuances of people from different backgrounds. The pressure of not being like "everyone else" so optimistic and cheerful, is worse than actually experiencing negativity. We all thought, somehow, that something must have been terribly wrong with us, making us unable to embrace positivity. But again we have our own principle to uphold and need to respect that. It becomes increasingly evident many people do not like to go against the grains for the reasons you mentioned in your post. Their merit is established if they can agree with the convictions and decisions of the poster. Some of course are more philosophical about it. "Why hit your head against a stone wall?" Why jeopardize your reputation, color of star etc.. People don't uphold principles anymore. Sincerity, integrity, loyalty are calculated in commercial terms, or in terms of power and thinking is by rote. Discretion is always the better part of valor, and slowly, there are more and more who see the merit in saying yes. Think of the returns! But count me out on that. Because of my no nonsense attitude to certain quarters, I have never landed myself in the top notch. Even so, I still love this place.
2 people like this
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi Zandias, Well, you are better experienced than me here in regard of such issues. I feel terribly upset when I observe that people un necessarily agree or to say in the plain language see eye to eye even when things are different in their own parlance. This double standard is harmful not only to us but also to the whole of the lot community. I feel One should open up with whatsoever consequence that would follow. In doing so one could violate the TOS of mylot but this does not mean that all the things in the TOS are valid and above criticism.
@Citychic (4078)
• United States
15 Sep 09
Hi there Krajibg, hope you are doing fine today. As for me, I would rather a friend tell me the truth, rather than to sugarcoat things so as not to hurt my feelings. I have noticed that here at mylot if one comes out and call a spade a spade as you have mentioned. You may not get very good responses. But then again if it's just your point of view, why should you be denied that priviledge. If I'm going to remain an active member or mylot. I am going to have to play by the rules. Leaving aside flattery, I believe that you can say anything that you want to with people. Baring in mind that there is a proper way to say just about anything with decency and respect. Hope you get my point. Happy mylot!
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi there, I can see your finger. But that is not the case with the people of mylot. Just observe how many are there who would call a spade a spade to put him/herself in trouble as the sail is trouble free? Rather they would accept the nonsense than going against your version and I feel if this tendency is to persist mylot would soon be inviting artificiality for when there is no healthy debate and healthy contradiction in the exchange of the ideas there would not be a good discussion and we, specially I am not here merely for some some cents.
• United States
15 Sep 09
As I want?..NO! That is the point of discussion..for one to think and be able to present and represent their opinion to dissenters. Too much agreement would make us mentally lazy. I, for one, can't afford that. I'm getting close to the Alzheimers age group. DISENT! DISENT! KEEP THE BRAIN JUICES ALIVE! I much prefer that folks be honest (to themselves) in their approach to a discussion than be in total slobbery kissy azz agreement. And should it turn into a 'stone the heretic party' (mental shrug)..its not as tho I haven't been in that position before.. ENJOY!
@krajibg (11940)
• Guwahati, India
23 Sep 09
Hi there, The truth is ever biter. Even th emylot admin is not ready to receive any criticism that might have had a negative effect on its TOS. If you like flattery that whatsoever you have said is correct I am the last person to go with you. I know the distance between falsehood and truth. Those who dare not face the truth start bragging you.
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Sep 09
I may LIKE cheap flattery, but I'm pretty sure I don't NEED it. :-) Actually I'm uncomfortable with flattery anyway, and I'd rather have you just come right out and say things (as long as it's done politely).
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
15 Sep 09
(turn on full speed the sense of humour before read) Oh, you are so right, dawnald. As allways, you just pointed to the essence of things. I praise your wisdom, dawnald. Your words are so much delicate and full of deeps .. You are sure the best and the most kind person living on earth since inventing of hot water. Please accept my warm homage for all you do and say. (hehe, the cheap flattery you don't need, .. )
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84131)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Sep 09
Dear Friend WMRaul - As usual you have a deep and thorough understanding of what I am saying and a warm and insightful way of replying back. Oopss.... Did you want some cheap flattery?
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
15 Sep 09
WOW ! Is it real ? Do I had an real positive answer back from you ? I can't belive it .. I wonder what the topic starter have to say about this ...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
Hello Rajib, good day. regarding your question, if i allowed one hundred eighty four thousand to reply to my discussions it will take more than a month for me to respond to all them and that's why i prefer no. but that's good because you see people only interested in your discussions.Have a great day
@mysdianait (64059)
• Italy
16 Sep 09
You could put up a task and pay other users to comment on your responses if you get that many
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
mike...has a secretary? who gorjee
• India
16 Oct 09
Hello my friend krajibg Ji, Well, I always accede to everyone's request to make everyone my friend without peeping into one's profile. Next I response first to all my friends circle and all in particular without thinking as my subject or not. This way i get exposure to many new platforms. I get many new ideas. I have never dis-liked anyone here. May God bless You and have great time.
@jules67 (2790)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
I think it would be good to be upfront than to flatter people. We should not give people false assumptions just to be friends with them. If one does not want to respond to my discussion, then that is fine with me.
• United States
16 Sep 09
I agree with you. I have been told several times that I speak my mind- (I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad)-and I will call it as I see it too. I don't think there is anything wrong in your approach, but I think it's how you go about saying the "truthful" things. I'm a realist.... I don't get responses to my questions like I would like, but it's ok....I move on.
• United States
16 Sep 09
I like people that say what is on their mind, if we all settled for flattery, than we would all be in some sort of abstract world!?!?!
• Malaysia
16 Sep 09
when I first started posting on MyLot, I was happy to respond to all those who left comments on my post. Now, there are just too many. I am so frightened to start new topics for fear that I could not manage it anymore. I may have to apologize to all that I have failed to respond. I do not care what they think. I am not interested in the stars and all that gobbledygook. I am only interested to providing adequately good feedback on relevant issues raised by those who responded to my post. Rajib, it is alright if you do not agree with me on any issue. Just speak your piece!
@calai618 (1781)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
What attracted me most to MyLot is the fact that it's a discussion community which is open to anyone--- status, nationality, color, intelligence and money have no bearing at all. Because of this, I expect interesting discussions and lots of surprising ideas from each and everyone. Most of the topics here are concern personal life experiences and unique ideas and ideals so different views and opinions are expected and should therefore be respected. Personally, everytime I read a discussion I try to provide a response as honest as possible. There's no need go with the wave because there isn't a right or wrong answer anyway. As long as you provide a very useful discussion and essential points are raised, you'll be rewarded anyway so there's really no need to provide an obvious answer to please anyone.
@jwfarrimond (4474)
16 Sep 09
It'd not be a discussion unless there were people with differing views involved and I'm not above playing the devils advocate myself having been known to come out with some controversial statement and then arguing the point even if I don't actually believe in the point that I'm arguing for. My object being to provoke a discussion and not to make a point. Which of course, is just what a devils advocate does.
@abanerji (1026)
• India
16 Sep 09
hi dada! when it comes to responding to a discussion i write what i feel regarding the issue. being frank enough, i don't spend much time to ponder over the issue. i keep the perspective which is my first instinct. i follow the first instict and then respond. if the second instinct seems better i add on later. i don't think about starts or rating while responding to a discussion. there is point in participating for flattery. i love to be appreciated for my work. flattery is false apprecition. it wont help me get enriched but it might help in developing false pride within me.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
16 Sep 09
I don’t usually buy cheap flattery. It is nice to hear but I need more than that. I don’t just like the responses that I want to hear; I want to know what is on other people’s mind. It is wonderful to encounter a kindred soul that thinks the along the same lines as I do but it is just as enriching to hear an opposing view and possibly learn a thing or two as long as respect for one another is always top priority.
@mentalward (14697)
• United States
16 Sep 09
I would much rather have friends who tell me their opinion or help me to gain insight or knowledge about a particular thing than I would like to hear flattery or someone saying what they think I want to hear. Some people need to hear that their opinion is the correct one. They need that flattery because they simply are not very secure people. I can understand why some people do not want to "rock the boat" by voicing their real opinions; I'm just not one of them. I will agree with someone when I honestly do agree. If I don't, I will voice my opinion but try to voice it in a way that will be heard and not simply ignored or start a fight or debate. I will avoid certain discussions if I know for a fact that they are going to cause an uproar because, I believe, life is too short and too precious to be arguing over something when the end result will be the same as it was in the beginning: everyone still having their own, differing opinion. If I feel strongly about the topic of the discussion, I will most definitely say what my opinion is but I always make sure it is understood that it is ONLY my opinion and that everyone is entitled to one. So, to sum up, yes, I would add you as a friend, ESPECIALLY because you are far from the cheap flattery.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
16 Sep 09
No, I never wish that everybody will respond to my posted discussion because I understand we have our own opinion to express and not everybody likes my discussion. Like me, if I have no personal knowledge about a certain topic and if I have nothing to say then I won't post my response.
• Philippines
15 Sep 09
theres nothing wrong in responding to discussion though ont make it too personal like you are affected to it. remember that we are here to earn money and that we dont know each other. and that we're just sharing our ideas here. if you take it personally then its your problem not them. better concentrate responding thinking that you will earn. happy mylotting.