Am I a big prejudice boob because...

United States
September 17, 2009 11:00am CST
Ok listen. I need some help I think. I am a single black female. I was on a couple of online dating sites, you know to find Mr. Right Now. I've met some interesting characters for sure. I was told by a couple of guys who were not black but responded to my profiles that I was a big prejudice boob because I told them that I prefer dating black guys. So does this make me prejudice? I mean really, guys can be a picky as they want right? You know, they want tall, they want blonde, they want thin, blah, blah, blah. Why can't I specify what I want without being called names. WTF as my daughter would say. Little did these name caller know, but my ex-hubby IS white. Now I didn't marry him because he was white and I didn't divorce him because of that either. I'm just wondering. If you have an opinion, I'd like to hear it.
6 people like this
21 responses
@cwong77 (2011)
• Malaysia
17 Sep 09
I think you are just stating your requirement and preference.. and nothing to be prejudice about.. you see, sourish grapes are everywhere.. and if we just put the note that we do not have preferences, you may be called 'no mind' or something like that.. so, who cares what others has to say, as long as you know what you want.. all the best in searching for the Mr Right, and I hope one day, you get to the one that loves you and your daughter to the max.. someone that loves you more than you loves him..
2 people like this
@marguicha (90589)
• Chile
17 Sep 09
Noone can tell you that you are prejudiced because you prefer one type of man over another. You are not making a generalization, just specifying what you want for you. We all have a type of man with certain qualities towards whom we feel more attracted. We can change, of course, if we meet someone and like him, but not beforehand. I always wonder about those online dating sites. People can be very rude because they just want to have some fun and are not serious at all. I feel that the good thing about meeting people personally is that your body tells you things about them that you canĀ“t catch over a computer even with a webcam. Have fun and take care!
• India
17 Sep 09
I think you are a big prejudice boob, because, I a brown (we are black in color, but we like to call us medium fair or brown or wheatish etc.). I am really cross with you, because I cannot date you. Since you will not select me, I shall call you a prejudice boob. Seriously speaking, everybody has a right to select his own partner. In that way the whole world is prejudiced. Everybody has their own choices, but they never come out openly. In India, every male would like to marry a girl who is very fair, and vice versa. Conclusion (WTF) you are not a prjudice boob.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
LOL, Thanks.
1 person likes this
@ravinskye (8243)
• United States
17 Sep 09
I don't think that makes you prejudice at all. It's not like you are saying you don't believe different races should date. You just happen to be more attracted to black guys then white or any other race. Just like some guys are more attracted to blonds with big boobs vs brunettes with brains! lol. Some people just go on those sites to attack others. My friend had a guy come on and leave her a message saying she looked like she was in her 40's (she's 28) and that she needed to lose some weight if she wanted to find a date. That she should look more like him. She has a few extra pounds but she isn't fat and she looks 28. He came out of no where and just cut her down as far as he could. I hope you find a nice man who will treat you right.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
I'm sorry to hear that your friend had an issue like that. Sometimes I just wonder if those types of sites are filled with people that just want to hurt people's feelings just because they can sit and hide behind a computer. It's nuts. I hope she did have some success online. I'm not having much, but I guess I'll just keep at it. Thanks!!!
2 people like this
@clarkbody (141)
• United States
17 Sep 09
In reference to the term prejudice it simply means to pre-judge. That's passing judgement on someone you don't even know because of passed experiences, racial overtones, and/or stereotypes. You have to ask yourself why you perfer a black man instead of a white man. I don't think anyone can honest say that what you're doing is prejudice. If anything, you're making your preference clear. As you stated, you have the right (and should) to determine what you want in a man because, yes, men do it all the time. Not having a preference is much worst than having one if you asked me. Do yo thang, girl. I aint mad at cha. LOL
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
I don't think that you are predjudice at all. I am a single Native American female, and (as you can see in the pic of my ex-husband) I prefer Native American guys. I don't like all of the hair that white guys have. There is just something that turns me off of a hairy chest. I don't know what it is, but I don't like guys with hair. One their head, yes. Everywhere else, no. I also like guys who are taller than me. That leaves out most foreign guys because I am 5' 8". It's not overly tall, but I'm pretty tall for a woman, and when I put on heels, it adds about 3 inches. Most of the foreign guys I have come into contact with have been around 5' 6" or shorter. That just doesn't fly with me. And I am more attracted to darker skin and hair. Add all of that together, and you have a Native guy. I guess what I'm trying to say is, we each have our own preferences. It doesn't make you racist, it makes you normal.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 09
I think the people saying that to you are morons. WTF is right! We ALL have our preferences for who we'd like to date, some like tall or slim, blond, freckles, curly hair, no hair, glasses, black, white, brown, whatever! It doesn't make you a bad person or prejudiced in the least! I am a small white female, I happen to prefer tall white men, sorry, that's my "type". I don't think it makes me a bigot. We are all attracted to different things, why should you have to be with someone you do not find attractive just to please some idiot's set of standards? THEY don't have to live with your choices, YOU do. Forget them, they're just jealous that they can't have wonderful you, that is not YOUR fault! I married a tall man, he was my "type" but also a great guy. Ten years together and I still look at him and think he's hot. If you're gonna spend your life with someone, shouldn't you be ABLE to look at them even years later and still find them attractive?
1 person likes this
17 Sep 09
I am a white female and I tend to be attracted to dark males, whether they be white, light skinned black or asian etc. But then again, I have been attracted to the occasional blonde cutie. I take it that you are saying that you just tend to fancy black guys more? It's not really racist with you I don't think, more of an issue of looks then. The thing is, white people tend to be called racist if they ever say things like that (ie. they don't want a black partner) and it does seem as though such a remark from black people about white people is more acceptable. For example, I quite fancied Denzel Washington until I heard that he refuses to play love scenes with white women! If Tom Cruise said he wouldn't do a love scene with a black woman I think there would be uproar! Interesting discussion topic!
• United States
17 Sep 09
Yeah I do think there is a bit of a double standard about who can say what and who gets mad about it. My mom hated Elvis because he made some comment back in the 60's or something stating that all a black man can do is shine his shoes. So she decided that she wouldn't listen to his music ever! And that's kind of a long time really. I am more attracted to black men but that's not to say that if a nice guy from another race sparked an interest, I would see where that goes. On these dating sites people tend to ask "what are you looking for?" then when you tell them, they get mad. I guess I hate rejections too though. LOL
17 Sep 09
Bless your mom! You know I never believed that Elvis really said that because I got the impression he really admired black music and artists because of the way he sang and performed. Elvis shocked white America at the time because he was considered too black for swinging his hips and singing with some soul, lol! It was all stiff upper lip stuff before Elvis. I know that Tony Curtis is often quoted as saying that kissing Marilyn Monroe (in Some Like it Hot) was like kissing Hitler, but not so long ago I watched an interview where he said it wasn't true and they were actually getting it on at the time of filming! Anyway, best of luck in finding that sexy man!
@Eisenherz (2912)
• Portugal
18 Sep 09
Well, I think that in these websites you're entitled to pick the charachteristics of the men you're willing to meet, right? And so do they. You see, they both have to fit...maybe they fit into what you desired but you didn't fit into what they wanted. Did you check their specifics? Maybe it was just that and you're making a fuss about such a little thing.
• United States
18 Sep 09
I did check their specifics and most of those guys I didn't really feel that there would be right for me anyway. But they generally were the ones that brought up the subject of race. They would ask if i've ever dated a white guy and usually that's when I told them that I preferred dating black guys. I even had one guy respond "everybody like black." LOL I thought that was an odd response but at least he didn't call me a racist.
• United States
17 Sep 09
I don't think wanting to date a black man makes your prejudice against whites. We all have people we are attracted to...I think the problem was with the men not you. Besides, you stated your preference you never said that if the right guy came along and happened to white or hispanic you would not date him. So what exactly is there problem? Don't let them bother you. I met my husband on a dating site, but I met a lot of jerks too!
• United States
17 Sep 09
You are right Martieann. I never stated to any of the responses that I ONLY dated black guys. I just told a handful that I preferred black guys. Obviously I've dated other guys from different races because like I said my ex husband is white. LOL But these jerks didn't know that. I was just wondering because if only 1 or 2 people mentioned that to me I probably wouldn't have questioned anything, but since more than that stated that I might be, I started to scratch my head and wonder. I always responded nicely to everyone who took the time to reply to my profile. So it wasn't like I was rude or anything. I guess my thinking was, if I were truly a bigot, I might not have taken the time to respond at all. I was simply saying hey thanks for viewing my profile, here's my preference, blah, blah, blah. Funny thing was that I couple of these guys were on a African American dating website. I think a lot of my Mylot-er friends are right, they are just jerks. LOL Thanks!!!!
@daliaj (5689)
• India
18 Sep 09
You don't think that you are prejudice. Marriage is something which you have to go according to your preferences. You have all rights to say that you want to marry a black person. It doesn't say that you are a racist or prejudice. I support you and I am totally backing your opinion since it is marriage. I would have told it as prejudice if you were looking for a maid or a gardener who is black. Go ahead'; don't mind.
@dhart87 (53)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I do not think you are prejudice. You have to right to date whoever you want, and you have choices. That does not makes someone prejudice, and maybe you just want to do something different. Those guy just do not understand that your preference is to date a black guy at the moment, that does not mean your are wrong for making that decision. Well, I hope you find Mr. Right and have a wonderful and happy life together.
@sid556 (31006)
• United States
18 Sep 09
No you don't sound predjudice at all to me. Like you said, some guys prefer blondes some prefer redheads etc. We all have different attributes that we prefer in a person. Sounds to me as if you were just being very honest. I wouldn't let these people get to you.
@suchi60 (913)
• India
18 Sep 09
You have your choice and freedom of expression. Keep it and forget what others have to say about it. There are sure to be some 'black sheeps' and these guys who let you know their mind belong to that category. What you do is your choice and you don't have to live by what others think or say. Happy hunting!
@twooten (64)
• United States
18 Sep 09
girlfriend let me tell you, don't even be discouraged by those small minded men who make comments like that.. because if the truth be told they have their preferences just as you stated. i find that most people that comment on you commenting on what you like and want, those persons usually have no goals in life, low self esteem and nobody is really giving them the time of day. so they feel like making ridiculous comments about you will make them feel better. take me for instance, i am a black female in her 30's. when i first was thinking about marriage i always said i would marry a hispanic because they don't mind working. not that black guys don't like to work. but lets face it there are so many of our young and old lazy black men that its a turn off for a female looking for a mate. then you have the white men that love money alittle to much that they would do anything to get ahead and to be on top. this is not good either. not all white males just some of them. then you have those in between, you know, the latino, french, those who call themselves caucasion, then you have the interacial brothers who look good on the outside but are hell sometimes on the inside. Girlfriend i say live your life, be specific about what you want, and by all means to hell with what those that think otherwise about you. i mean afterall, your the one that has to be live with that person day in and day out. :)
@Rosemango (106)
• Trinidad And Tobago
17 Sep 09
I think when it comes to dating and love we all have different things in a person that appeal to us and while I don't think you are prejudice I do think you are limiting your option. If all that attract you to a person is their look then your decision is ok, but if you are looking for the complete partner then you should not limit yourself, someone of a different race may posses everything you are looking for.
@mommaj (22711)
• United States
17 Sep 09
Maybe you should tell them with that type of response there is no way you would ever go out with them because they act like your exhusband! HAHA. I think if you are seriously looking for someone you should be picky. If you prefer Blonde Jews then you have the right to search for that. Maybe they just couldn't resist your personality shining through the internet. Personally, I'ld be leary of them after replying to you like that.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
17 Sep 09
No, I don't think that a preference to date within a particular race is any more prejudice than any other preference. I don't know where these guys got their logic.
@candaceb87 (1362)
• Canada
17 Sep 09
i don't think that makes you prejudice in the least. I think that everyone has an idea of what they want in man/woman and they should be able to express that, So I guess if this guy had said that he wants a hott tall blonde skinny girl then he wouldn't have considered that prejudice but it is the exact same thing. I think everyone has the right to express their likes and dislikes with out having to be judged for it! I say just ignore idiots like that Have a good day :D
• United States
17 Sep 09
No I don't think that makes you Prejudice... Like you said everyone has a preference and in your case its to date within your race. I think they are made because your not interested in them.