How do you make a co-worker treat you with respect?

@Virgie60 (556)
United States
September 17, 2009 1:10pm CST
I have a co-worker that basically treats me with little respect. She is constantly on me telling me that I am doing things wrong in not a nice way. She says things like "stupid you forgot to do this", "dummy you know you forgot to give them soup" or she yells at me that I forgot to ask the customer how they wanted their meat done but when another waitress does the same thing she politely asks them. I also think she told my employer that I was complaining about my recent lack of hours because another waitress told me that when she asked the boss how come she wasn't getting many hours either she said "Yea I heard that "my name" was complaining about the same thing but Oh Well" That co-worker had no right to tell my boss that. It really burns me. In fact I think she is trying to get me to quit my job. I need to work and she knows it so why is she mean to me. I have always been nice to her. I have given her clothes of my sons for her boys, I have given her VCR tapes of ours, etc. I have to admit right now I do feel like quitting instead of putting up with her. What can I do to get her to treat me nicer?
5 responses
@shajerrl (311)
• China
18 Sep 09
Actually good personal relationship is the foundation for your success in your work life.maybe you should try to give more respect to your co-workers and also find a right time to discuss with her openly about your relationship. of course, maybe this is a little bit difficult only from your side, if you can find another guys to help you to mediate your relationship?
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I have given this co-worker nothing but respect so I really don't understand all of this. She seems to have gotten worse lately. Not sure if she is feeling threatened with the new employer or what. Thanks.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
18 Sep 09
You need to talk to your supervisor or your employer about this. This is not acceptable behaviour in the workplace and you have every right to stand up for yourself. I would tell her nicely, as another responder suggested, to stop talking to you like that and let your boss know each and every time she insults or belittles you. Once she realizes that you are not going to continue to silently take her cr@p, she might stop.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I hope things will improve. The trouble is that the boss really likes her and thinks that she can do no wrong. Oh well, I will keep on plugging along and hope for the best. Thanks.
@StarBright (2799)
• United States
17 Sep 09
When she speaks to you with disrepect, tell her right then and there in front of everyone not to do it. "Please do not call me names. I do not like it. It is disrespectful." Make a note of the date and time that she does it and what was going on. If someone else makes the same mistake and she does not do that, make a note of that too. I am talking about a paper trail. If she continues to do this (3 times), then take your notes and go to your employer and complain. You are entitled to be treated with respect in the workplace. Do not quit your job unless you have a better job. No one should chase you away from your income. Continue to be nice to her but keep her at a distance. Also, you know how she is, be careful of what you say about your job. She will try to burn you anyway she can. You see this coming, so watch out. Good luck.
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
18 Sep 09
Very good advice. From now on I will be very careful about what I say, how I act, etc. Thank you very much.
@taztheone (1726)
• India
17 Sep 09
I think others will treat us the way we treat them. so if you are nice to them, they will also be nice to you & if you respect others, they will also respect you. Also forgiveness is the greatest power for a human to use. If you forgive others, your value will increase. Happy Lotting
@Virgie60 (556)
• United States
18 Sep 09
I too have always believed in treating others the way that you would want to be treated. That is why I am baffled by this co-workers behavior toward me. But I will just keep on trying to be nice to her and to do my job. Thanks.
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
18 Sep 09
Pretty clear what she is tryng to do... she needs the hours too...if she can get one person fired... then she can get those hours for herself. That kind of happened tomy husband just recently.. he was ona huge consturction job of a casino hotel/resort in las vegas....supervisor of plumbing and mechanical. He went on nights as he had to be there to surpervise the installation of all the pools that are aluminum and due to the sun and heat, they hve to install atnight to keep the heat and reflection from the sun down..(the welders do) Has nights for 6 weeks. well things still go on in the office during the day. I told him he needed tojust stop in once of twice a week, and show his face, see whats going on.. you know.. out of sight out of mind. He said no, he wasnt going to wrok on his own time and he is sending in all his paperwork to all those requesting it and everything is on time and under budget, etc. Well, nigh shift ended, he went back in and the next day was layed off. A week later, a friend found out that another guy, that couldn't even do what my husband did, was kissin' up to everyone while my husbaad was on night shift, saying he could do it, and his salary is less (than my husbands) and he will gladly finish it for them. So the idiots layed off my husband nad now that guy is in "control" and he has never even worked a high rise before, much less a multi billion dollar hotel/casino/spa resort! I hope the whole thing crashes on this company for doing this! Cutting experience for money only gives inferior quality to a structure- they deserve it to crash. But I say that to say this....you could maybe just ask her why she is always correcting you. See what she says, and if you can find anything in her explanation as to maybe somethhing going on you dont know about. then go to your boss and "kiss up" say something like, "I do need more hours, but you have my word I will be doing the best possible work I have always done for the hours I do have. But if you do get any additional hours, just know I'd be more than willing to cover them for you." Since you don't know all that this person said about you to him....now you have covered yourself.... and maybe given him second thoughts about things she might be saying about you and if he is smart... put two and two together and stop listening to her.. and when lay off time comes... might think twice before letting you go. You gotta cover your own butt...as no one else will. Good luck to you.