How did you feel the first time you got to live by yourself?

September 25, 2009 4:30pm CST
Hey mylotters, Tomorrow I get to have my first experience of living by myself, and it makes me curious to know what the experiences of other people have been. In my case my grandparents around going on holiday and in a moment of genius I decided to ask them if I could house sit. Much to my surprise they said yes (which I think means they trust me ) and so tomorrow I get this chance for the very first time. I have been dying to give this a go for a long time because I do work quite well alone, and to be frank I need a holiday. A really long one away from this house to recharge some rather depleted batteries lol. I am really hoping I will revel in this experience and leave it with the knowledge that when I can afford a house of my own, I will be okay living in it. We shall see though ~ Has fingers crossed ~ But what about you, what was your first experience of living alone for any length of time, and how was it? Did it change you in any way? Many thanks for the responses, Dranz
8 people like this
33 responses
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Hello my friend That should be a great experience, I am sure you are familiar with their home so you should be really comfortable, I think it should be great practice for you, when I first moved on my own, it took a while for me to get use to it, I was really afraid to be alone, I was not familiar with the place, or the area, but once I was use to it, I was so happy, you will be great when you get your own place, I have do doubt about it my friend. When I first moved my mom did not believe me, when I picked up my keys and showed her my new place she was shocked lol, she did not think I was ready to leave her, I use to buy things for my new place, I had everything for the kitchen except the table,I had more towels than I knew what to do with, I had my bathroom set, I was ready lol, have fun my friend, just prepare yourself for what will be Thank you.
2 people like this
25 Sep 09
Hi Kitty, Wow your mum's reaction to you moving out is completely fantastic. Mine wouldn't be shocked at all since I have talked about it so much. I really want to be able to be independent of the people here, but it isn't working quite yet, so I seized this chance to have a taste of freedom instead lol! I liked too the description of the things you got for the house. As sad as it may seem the big thing I look forward to with my house is choosing cushions. I told my dad that yesterday when we were shopping for this trip, and he gave me a funny look. But there are so many lovely ones, and picking one to suit my house and tastes would be glorious Thanks for the best wishes, I am thinking this experience shall rock too. I just worry I won't want to come back afterwards, the last thing I need is a great low after a great high, we shall see anyway All the best, and many thanks for the response, Dranz
@kitty42 (3912)
• United States
25 Sep 09
Hello my friend Things are not so good for me over here, since yesterday I have not been able to do much, have other discussions to respond too as well, I don't know what to do about this, I was surprised I was able to get on now, my grandson is right under me because he wants to look at costumes for halloween, wish me luck,I wont complain at least I am here right. It will be great my friend, my mom heard it enough that was the whole purpose of me buying what I needed, she did not believe me, guess she thought I was talking to hear myself, fooled her LMAOOOO, I was really proud of myself, it feels really good, you enjoy this me time my friend, just know that its only for a certain length of time this way when its time to come back you will be able to do so with ease Thank you.
25 Sep 09
Hi Kity, Don't worry, as soon as I found out I would have this chance I told myself not to resent the days before it (I found out a week ago and would normally have hated this week for being in my way, but I just pretended like it was normal) and also to not waste the time I have there. Quite often when I get something I love I get too wrapped up in it and forget to take a step back, but I am going to treat this as an experience and hope for the best. I am actually preying that it goes so well that each time my grandparents leave I get to use their house, that way this isn't a one off, and doesn't have to be treated as such ~ Has everything crossed ~ I just hope nothing blows up lol! Good luck finding that Halloween costume for your grandson, and I hope the weekend bring you some you time so you can relax and recharge Dranz
@dawnald (84129)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Sep 09
I guess I haven't ever really been totally on my own. First I lived with my parents. The year I was in Germany, the University found me the place and I was with other people. Then back with my parents. Then I moved in with my boyfriend. We got married and are still living together.
2 people like this
25 Sep 09
Hi Dawn, My dad did something like that. He stayed with his parents and then got together with mum and now he is stuck with myself and my brother so he has never lived alone. I can't imagine that really, I am sort of thinking I will be living alone most of my life lol! Do you ever wish you had had the chance to live by yourself? Many thanks for the response Dranz
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84129)
• Shingle Springs, California
25 Sep 09
I'm thinking about it right now...
25 Sep 09
Errr...eagerly awaits the response lol
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@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
26 Sep 09
Hi, DC I was able to have that opportunity when studied in another city years ago. I left my family and my boyfriend in my hometown then. I was happy living alone, to tell you honestly. I got to control my own flat. All I have to clean up was my own mess so it was really easy, all my things were at the right place, and they never get misplaced I guess I became more responsible when I lived alone. If I do not go out and buy food, I would die of hunger, unlike living at home where there is always someone who can bring home food. Also, I became more sensible about going out for a drink. I either do not go out at all or I count the drinks I take because there was no boyfriend nor a family member who I could call to pick me up in case I get drunk. I really enjoyed living alone even for a short while. Hope you will too. Good luck to you and take care!
@kykidd (6824)
• United States
25 Sep 09
My first apartment alone was not long after I got my first full-time job, that lasted for any period of time. (I had a couple of temporary assignments before that.) I was working for a company just a few blocks away, not too far to walk on a nice day. When it rained, sometimes the owner would let me take the shop truck home, especially if I had to go to the laundry mat or I would get a ride from someone. I really enjoyed living alone at that point in my life. I was at the age that I really loved my mom, but she could be a bit overbearing. And even though at the time it was just the two of us at home, I still wanted my own privacy. I worried a lot about bills, but I always managed to make them. It took a number of years before I had enough income to actually start a savings account. But eventually, I did and eventually bought a home of my own.
2 people like this
25 Sep 09
Hi Kykidd, Wow I would love to have a job I could walk to on a daily basis, that would be one of my dreams, though it would definitely get annoying in the rain That is fantastic about how you managed to save up to buy your own home. I don't know if I will ever manage that. I am thinking I will probably start off by renting, and see what happens. After all this stuff with mortgages I am sort of put off that idea, though seeing a house and thinking 'I own that', must be an amazing feeling Well done on coping so well alone, and many thanks for sharing your experience, it gives me hope All the best, Dranz
@voldrox (7205)
• India
26 Sep 09
Hi DCLensherr Hey you are doing the right thing my friend, having a first hand experience of living away from home is actually very helpful, you get to learn a lot of things out of it, it's been 4 years i have been living in a hostel away from home, the first time i got to my hostel life it felt kinda exciting and weird at the same time, i just had a cell phone to connect and no computer... i learned so much out of the first year, the first year was the most important, i mean i got to learn so much through it all... i learned one of the most important thing... no one is there to look after if you want something you have to get it all for yourself and no one can help you achieve what you want out of life, all are for themselves, they can only help you with inspirations and advices nothing more than... i also got to learn how selfish this world is and i get the circumstances why people are like that... we all need to be like that at some point of time... got to learn a lot about life about people and most importantly i came to realize how important it is making the right kind of friends... good luck my friend... enjoy and have a nice time!
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Voldrox, Wow that seems to be some really tough lessons to have to learn while living alone. I think some of those I know already, the achievement thing for certain since that is one of my issues now (I have no idea what to achieve so am achieving nothing until I find out lol). I know about the bills thing too, that people don't bail you out of those, but is it more than that? I never imagined that living alone would teach you that people are selfish, I always figured you would learn that while living with someone lol. Then again because you are in a hostel are there people around you pretty much all the time? Like not in your room, but just down the corridor perhaps, who you can see the selfish sides of? Many thanks for that response, it is very thought provoking. Dranz
1 person likes this
@voldrox (7205)
• India
26 Sep 09
oh yeah about that selfish thing . . . there are a lot of people i know living near me, lots of others as well, hehe living with others actually teaches you how selfish people can be, and i also got this, when things don't work out for you and they are really important even you might need to become selfish for a while, i know it sounds strange, i can't give an example though, but it is true . . . hopefully such moments don't come often . . . thank you DCLensherr
@artistry (4154)
• United States
26 Sep 09
...Hi DCLehnsherr, Well it could be a little bit scary because it is a change. But if I understand you. it is only going to be temporary, so you won't be going completely through the transition. It is a period of growth which I think everyone should go through, so that they know that they will be able to survive on their own. It is a good thing to live alone, if you want to have your own place, some people opt for roommates just to have another person around. It is fun to furnish your place, decorating and choosing your colors, it helps you determine who you are and what you like, as far as your tastes are concerned. When someone visits you, you are able to make the statement in essence, that this is me. It also naturally comes with the responsibility of making sensible choices in your life. It is a learning process that each person should experience, to give them self confidence, to know that they are capable and as I said before able to survive on their own. It is a healthy thing to live alone at least once in your life. Take care.
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi artistry, I am planning to use this experience as a way of learning whether I can live alone full time or not. I think I can because I cope really well without the pressures I feel around other people, but I can never know for sure since it could just be a 'grass is greener on the other side' thing. When I do move out fully decorating is something I look forward to doing. I don't have a clue what my tastes and stuff are, so it will be interesting to find out. Did you know your tastes and styles before you went, or did you get inspiration from the stores you bought the home accessories from? All the best and I am glad that living alone taught you so much, and that you recommend it so highly as well Many thanks for sharing, Dranz
11 Oct 09
Hello again Artistry, If I do this too many more times people are going to think I am favouring you for some reason I think your mind just resonates with mine when it writes, because what you said here about everyone having to live by themselves really stood out to me which is why you got this. Plus the other 2 responses you gave just made me smile at the time as well. Many thanks for all three of them . All the best, Dranz
@artistry (4154)
• United States
26 Sep 09
...Hey DCL, In answer to your question about tastes with decoration, furniture, etc., when you start to window shop, you will see something that you like, then you will see something else. Finally you will settle on something that you feel will be in keeping with a style you will be developing in your mind. I will share with you what my sister shared with me, as she moved out before I did, she said do not spend a whole lot of money on furnishings, because you are going to get tired of it after a while and you will want to change the scenery. Good advice it was. Take care.
1 person likes this
27 Sep 09
Hi Artistry, Wow your sister sounds really smart with that advice, I will definitely remember it. I tend to go through phases of interest so it makes sense that my future house will as well. Awesome. Many thanks for sharing (a third time I believe lol) and all the best, Dranz
26 Sep 09
Well, living by ourselves is one challenging thing. I really like that, no one will command me doing something, no one will comment on me upon something I've done. But you have to bare in mind that living alone is exciting but not as easy as you clap your hands. You have to know how to do things for sure. Washing your clothes, cooking, cleaning are things we have to do ourselves whilst living alone. Based on my experience, living alone just made me more indenpendent and started thinking that I can live by my own. =)
1 person likes this
27 Sep 09
Hi Charlies, I am starting to be thankful that my parents made me do chores when I was younger. At the time they were annoying, but they do set you up well for living alone and knowing how to do things, especially cleaning and washing clothes. I am glad to hear that living alone had a positive impact on your life, it's doing the same for me too so far. I won't want to go back lol Many thanks for sharing Dranz
@mssnow (9496)
• United States
26 Sep 09
The first time for me was heaven. i could do what i wanted without worrying about others. i could leave my stuff lying around. i could eat whatever i wanted too eat. Yeah i loved it.
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Mssnow, I am definitely in agreement with the eating what you want to eat thing, it rocks. I like shopping for myself too and knowing I won't be judged if I don't come back with just bags full of vegetables lol. Heaven . Many thanks for sharing Dranz
@Eisenherz (2912)
• Portugal
26 Sep 09
About a year ago I went to live by myself in a distant country. In one hand I felt very relieved to finally achieving my own independance and having the time and money to do things my way. On the other hand, I felt from early on the weight of responsabilities that come with living on your own and being alone in this world. In the end I got back home after not much too long because despite all the other details one thing was missing and that was money. Since then I've been projecting a new attempt, but first I must build a good ammount of money to last longer.
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Eisenherz, Wow, I couldn't imagine having my first experience alone in another country. I think the stress of adapting to a new world would push me over the edge, even if I did like being alone lol. You are brave for having attempted that, which country did you move to? The money thing is what holds me back too. I have some savings I could use, but using them only to go back home afterwards would seem like failing, so I have to wait for a job (or a fortune from mylot lol). Good luck when the second attempt comes, I hope it proves really successful . Many thanks for sharing, Dranz
• Indonesia
26 Sep 09
My first experience living alone was 6 years ago, when I have to continue my study in another province. It was really hard at the beginning start, and I kept on crying at night due to homesickness. But as soon as the school started all the sad feeling kind of vanished automatically lol. On Wednesday, I'll be leaving to follow my husband which is in the further distance (4 hours flight approximately). So let's see whether I'd be hit by homesickness again or not lol
26 Sep 09
Hi alwayzzcitra, Wow I hope that everything goes well on Wednesday, I am thinking that if you are going there to be with your husband then he should keep the homesickness away for you. I hope anyway Many thanks for sharing, and good luck for the future Dranz
@zspsql (28)
• United States
26 Sep 09
getting to live by oneself!i think it a wonderful thing. according to our own idea to live completely and travelling in the kingdom of imagination freely.discarding all off the trouble and reveling in the beautiful day which belongs to our own! the first time i got to live by myself is many years ago when i went to college . for the first time i left my parents,left my hometown.there was a entirely new sense in my heart.it is good for us to improve our abilities of independence.living by yourself is just the best way.
26 Sep 09
Hi zspsql, It will be fantastic to discard all the trouble in the future. Another reason I am so looking forward to this experience is getting away from things that make being at home stressful, alas they will still be here when I get back, but at least the holiday will give me the energy reserves back so I can better face them lol. Well done on moving away from your hometown too, was it scary settling in at first, or did college keep your mind away from it? Many thanks for sharing and all the best Dranz
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
26 Sep 09
I lived independently right now. I lived alone since I was 17 years old when I entered college because our place is in the province and took a nine hour drive to the city, so I lived in a boarding house. When I graduated I worked immediately in my alma mater as a college staff until now. Living alone is very wonderful because I can fully decide for myself, what to eat, what to buy, where to go. It is always fun and I have a grand time with myself, I also have my own room and do all my chores. I love the freedom of being alone, it's totally peaceful than stay with parents or relatives.
26 Sep 09
Hi Jlamela, Wow that sounds completely fantastic. I don't know if I could have managed living alone when I was 17 let alone alone and 9 hours away from home, that must have been scary at the start. I am definitely glad to hear that you enjoy the experience so much and I hope it will continue. Many thanks for sharing Dranz
• Malaysia
26 Sep 09
Yes, it would be a wonderful experience to live all by yourself. No one to fuss over you or to ensure house rules are not broken. Enjoy yourself but make sure everything is s.p.i.c.k and span when the grand-parents return. They may not be amused if you make a mess of the home!
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Gracefuldove, Don't worry, I made sure to have my grandmother tell me where all the cleaning things are so I can make the house beautiful for their return. I want them to let me do this again so I have to do it right lol Many thanks for sharing, and I hope you get this chance sometime (I think from this reply you haven't yet right?) All the best, Dranz
@Melbee11 (233)
• United States
26 Sep 09
If I would live by myself I would like it. Than later I would be too lonely to think I am happy to be by myself. I think I would live with somebody when I have a chance to move out. Than I would be much happier that somebody is there to comfort me. I can't wait to live by myself. Less parent control.
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Melbee, I had a friend who did this before me (I stole the idea of borrowing my grandparent's house from her) and she found that the loneliness got to her as well. I think she managed a week, but she had to come home afterwards because she was getting really depressed and lethargic. I hope you get the chance to live with someone when the time comes to move out so you don't have to worry about that Many thanks for sharing, Dranz
• China
26 Sep 09
I live alone now.To fulfill my master dgree,I have to so a lot of expariments.So liveing in laboratory building is my best choice.I don't need to go for a long distance to the dorm.So I will save more time to my experiments. It is great to live by myself.I can do whatever I want to do.After working for a day,I could go to sleep anytime without anyone annoying me.I could do some reading without any disturbance. There are also some problems.I don't have some people to talk with.Some day I almost be quiet for a whole day.
1 person likes this
26 Sep 09
Hi Yuhongchao, Wow your university must be fantastic. I think in the universities where I live you have to be a dorm, so even if you have y own room, there are 6 other people around you. I wouldn't have liked that, though cutting out the travelling would have been nice lol Your Masters sounds fascinating too, would it be too odd if I wondered what it was? Good luck though, many thanks for sharing, and I wish you all the best for the future Dranz
@CatGods (4599)
• United States
25 Sep 09
OMG that was like another life time ago, way back in the day. I felt when I got my own place, I'm FREE to do what I want any time. Have over any friends that I want, do things my way without my mother telling me what to do and asking me who I was with and stuff like that. I even moved to the bottom of the east coast and then to the mid west just to have some space.
1 person likes this
25 Sep 09
Hi CatGods, Wow that sounds like a long way to move, and a great choice too, you seem to have completely relished this change. When I move for real I want that distance as well so I never have to worry about people randomly turning up on my doorstep lol Many thanks for sharing and all the best Dranz
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
25 Sep 09
I actually have never gotten to live alone. I went to a local college so I lived at home with my parents while I went to college, and I got married a few months after graduating from college and my husband and I moved in to an apartment the day after our wedding, so I have lived completely alone. I did stay home alone when parents would travel though so once in a while I would be alone for a few days. I always kind of liked that until bed time, then it felt kind of wierd not having anyone else in the house. But it was still fun.
25 Sep 09
Hi Ladym, Ahh I did that with the college too. I wanted to move into student accommodation but I never got the forms sent to me (probably because I was local) and so I missed out. It seemed too communal though so I don't think I would have liked it really, I guess missing out on this chance was fate being kind to me lol I know what you mean about the night thing too. In this house I sometimes get paranoid that this would be the day it would be burgled, but luckily my grandparent's have an alarm so I won't have to worry about that for a week lol. Many thanks for sharing and all the best Dranz
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
26 Sep 09
I haven been living alone so far, but if everything goes well I will be moving into my boyfriends and my new appartment today. I feel excited about it but it's a bit scary aswell because I haven't lived by myself before and I know there are a lot of changes coming up. There is much to learn, but I am sure we'll be ok. I have been cooking, cleaning, etc. at my parents house aswell for a couple of years now so that's not all that new either, I guess it's just a big step .
26 Sep 09
Hi Cyberfluf, Wow I wish you and your boyfriend all the best for getting an apartment together. It sounds like you are well prepared for the experience so I think you will enjoy it . I am lucky liek that too, my dad has taught me how to cook, and I think I randomly decided go learn how to clean (not sure why) so I can do those. Money management too, I never spend any unless it is essential lol. Good luck, and many thanks for sharing Dranz
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
26 Sep 09
Thank you so much. I think you are right, preparing yourselve by learning how to cook, clean and manage your finances helps a lot. Take care!
@maximax8 (27049)
26 Sep 09
When I was sixteen years old during the week in term time I lived in my study bedroom on the site of my college. I had a superb view of the River Thames. I went home at the weekends and in the college holidays. At age 19 years I bought my cottage which I sold four years ago. It had a lounge and kitchen downstairs. Upstairs it had a large bedroom, a tiny bedroom and a bathroom. I spent most of my money buying it so I didn't have much money to furnish it. I felt so happy. I hope that you will enjoy your house sitting.
26 Sep 09
Hey Maximamx, Wow your cottage sounds lovely. I want a house with 2 bedrooms, one big and one small too. I like the idea of converting one into a study sort of place where I can be creative, while having the main bedroom for Internet stuff like mylot. Did you use your rooms in a similar way? Many thanks for sharing and so far this is going good (though getting used to not having tabs on the Internet anymore is odd lol) All the best, Dranz