Monster Child and His Mother! Was I right??
By Raven7317
@Raven7317 (691)
United States
September 28, 2009 11:13am CST
I've posted about this monster child and his mother before - and I have another incident - I'm not 100% sure I was right in my reaction.... Opinions?
I was outside with my son, he was riding his bike up and down the street, having a grand ole time. After a few minutes, the Spawn of Satin came outside with his mother. Everything was okay, the two boys were riding bikes together.
Well, my son, being 4 YO, soon bored and wanted to play with something else. So we go down the driveway and into my garage and he gets his fishing pole, which he loves. He loves to cast it - it has one of those rubber teaching weights on it and he practices often. Well, the beast child wants to have it - so I say to my son, "lets show X how to cast, okay?" and he very nicely shares. Now, I'm standing there, with this boy, showing him how to cast, so my son, looking for something to do while he waits, goes over and gets on this boys bike and starts to ride. (he asked the mom and she said it was okay)
The very second this monster child sees my son touching his bike he freaks out - screaming at the top of his lungs. My son gets off the bike and now what? You guessed it - he wants his fishing pole back. Devil child refuses to give it up and is screaming and crying. Mom makes him give it back and he continues to scream.
So, this child wants HIS toy AND MY SON's Toy!
So the mother looks at me and says, "you know when they're together, they need to be doing the same thing." I say, "well, he was riding his bike for some time before you came out...what am I supposed to do?" She says, "he could do that some other time, when we're not visiting." I say, "I'm not going to tell my son he can't play with his own toys!"
She eventually tires of her monster child screaming and they go in the house. I mean WTF?? We're at MY house, the garage is open and the boys are free to go in and take any toy they want, but her stand is that when they're together, they should EACH have the same toy or be doing the SAME thing?? Well, I only have one child, therefore, I only have ONE of every toy.... She actaully wanted me to NOT let my son play with one of his own toys because her son didn't have one.
To me, this is unbelievable! I wanted to say "well, no one asked you to come visit us!" She was blaming MY son for HER son's spoiled rotten behaviour!
I haven't seen her since - and this was last weekend... I fully expect that she thinks I was wrong for allowing my son to play with his toys at his own house! It's laughable to me, but I was wondering if anyone else thinks I should have done something differently...
3 responses
@tonika1980 (155)
• United States
28 Sep 09
What you need to think is what would she have done if placed in your shoes. I doubt she would make her son share with your child and let your child refuse to share in return. She needs to get her child under control. But even more so, she needs to realize that when she is at someone's house, she can't expect them to bend to her will. I would have and in the past have done the same as you.
I've had kids come over, think they have fulll reign over my children's stuff, but would refuse to let my girls touch their stuff. I've gotten so fed up with it that I have gone so far as to tell the other kids that since they wanted to be that way, they were not allowed to touch my kids' stuff. I even told the parent's I was doing this. The mom's never got mad, though. And as far as the kids were concerned, it changed their attitudes real quick. The way I see it, share and share alike, or don't bother coming around.
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Hi, thanks for the response - and the reassurance! It's funny you mention it, but there have been many times where her double standard it obvious! We've been to her house many times and most times - if not all - there have been excuses of "his house/his toys" and it being a case where my son has to adapt to this child's bad behaviour. It got so bad, now we never go into her house. Because she doesn't teach her son to share and he's usually mean to my son.
It just makes me sick because the more I think about it, the more I remember and the more I dislike her as a mother and as a person.
Early on, before we had such huge issues, together, we came up with a common compromise where it came to sharing... At younger ages, both had a problem sharing - esp favorite toys. So together, we agreed that we would allow between 1-3 toys to be off limits to the other... BUT that toy had to be put away. I taught my son this and he still abides by it - turns out, she never stuck to it and doesn't do anything about it when he won't share.
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Thank you! You are kind and I appreciate being able to express my thoughts and feelings with you! My DH thinks it's all "mama drama" and "witchy women" stuff, but he doesn't understand how EVERY LITTLE thing we do, say, and show our little ones is contributing to their personality! I won't let it bother me much anymore, I've vented and feel better... Plus, I just keep thinking "she'll get hers" one day when, as another poster stated, her child "shows up in the back of a police cruiser!" LOL
Anyway, you are right, my son is very sweet. (If I do say so myself!) Don't get me wrong, he can drive me to drink some days and he's not perfect, but all around, generally speaking, he's a very nice little guy and just wants to play.
@tonika1980 (155)
• United States
28 Sep 09
That's just wrong. My girls have the toys they don't want damaged put in a "special" drawer that no one is allowed to get into. Any and all other toys are fair game to whoever comes over. I've always been big on teaching my kids to share, and to treat others with kindness and respect, and would expect other kids to do the same in return. All of my friends who I visit are the same way. It's not good to raise your children to believe the whole "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine" way. Your neighbor will have her eyes opened someday, and most likely not in a pleasant way. I wouldn't let it bother me too much, though. If she insists on thinking the way she does, she's not good enough for you! Nor is her son good enough for yours. Sounds like you have a sweet little boy!
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
28 Sep 09
I think you handled it just fine. I've done daycare for years, so trust me when I say it wouldn't have mattered. Even if they both had the same toy, I think her child would have found a reason to take your child's. I remember getting 2 of the same barbie for my birthday one year. My friends and I were playing and I remember fighting with her over which one I wanted because I thought that the one had slightly curlier hair then the other! Her kid needs to learn to share and be happy with what he has.
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Hi Ravin, thanks for the response! You're right, this child does have that sense of entitlement - which is annoying in anyone but in a 3 1/2 YO it's disgusting! It's horrible that I feel dislike to this child because I know it's not his fault. His parents created a monster and there's no one to blame but them... but still, I don't want my son around him!
@OpinionatedLady (5966)
• United States
28 Sep 09
Well if you haven't seen her your probably better off. There have always been folks who think their kid is better then the rest there fore everyone should bow down to them. You'll see that kid in the back of a police car before you know it. Better to break your son's ties to him now.
@Raven7317 (691)
• United States
28 Sep 09
LOL! That's great - "in the back of a police car" !!! LOL
Thanks for the response, yeah, you're right...
